I've been debating for ceras rather I should do this or not, but after seeing what my bakdrop (baa-ku-drop) experienced with his mates I've resigned myself to do it.
"Are you sure about this Vasti?" No wonder they call him The Serene One. No matter his thoughts or feelings he always appears serene.
"Yes, Nutem. I must do this. I have to see…if I can be different. IF…others can be different from my larnut (larr-newt)."
"If that is what you so desire, then so be it."
Turning towards me with book in hand, the light of the first yas star hits his face. It spellbinds me every time. I never get tired of this same scene. These days I can see my Bakdrop the same way. It must be an unconscious habit that he picked up from him. The beauty of my Bakdrop reminds me of Patheos. The way that the curls seem to play on his face and the way that he keeps them at bay with a beautiful head bond.
The pain isn't as intense as the pain I felt inside the white hole. Should I say that it's actually a relief? Hahahahaha…...! I must treat my creation well. He is a part of me after all. The red hair is unexpected, hmmm…...it could have something to do with being inside that hole…but he is as pale me…very nice. So beautiful he will be.
Aaahh…he's opening his eyes. For some reason, I didn't expect him to come out as a tuthiss. I guess I will have to raise him as I'm raising Xena.
"Onhyas (own-yah-ss) little one. I'm Vastava Martih Zarit. Some say I'm the third Vastava, but I'm the only Vastava on all of Zarthia." He looks up at me with those big beautiful brown isoles (ee-sol-le-s). Something strange happens just then, before the words can leave my lips, he says to me —
"Lucian…"
"Vadua (vah-dew-ah) …. that's it."
****
"Stop staring. It's like your eyes will burn through me."
"I can't help it." I smile sheepishly and bow my head scratching the back of it for a moment before looking back up at him to meet his eyes that are now watching me. "I'm just enjoying the view…. can't I?"
He laughs gently and looks back down at the book he's reading. He has probably read that book more than a thousand times since its inception. Dr Jekhyell & Mr. Hyde is a mind-blowing book about the inner struggles of one man. I wonder if he feels that way sometimes. Do I? Hmph…if the others saw the real me they might say that.
"Well, Martheos," He walks up to me and kneels in front of me. I thoughtlessly caress the back of his head as he looks up at me. Smiling he says, "what should we do today?"
"Mmm…a walk on the veranda?"
"Okay, sounds good."
I truly enjoy spending time with him. I feel like he is the only one that understands me. Even though he is ambiguous, he still understands where I'm coming from. That's why Daniel feels comfortable talking with him too. Ah, speaking of him!
"Hello Daniel. I thought you might be busy today."
"No, I was able to complete all of my tasks for the morning."
"Good, good." For some reason, Lucian seems brighter when he's around us and the twins…and…Patheos.
But if they knew what he's really like or me for that matter, how would they act towards us? I always think about this. He is not the image that my father thinks and wishes him to be. He's the one…that people mistake Patheos for being as…our true natures are so scary that it frightens even me.
"How did it go Daniel?"
"It went better than I expected. Thank you for the advice Lucian."
"I'm glad that everything worked out for you."
In this little circle of ours Daniel is just one of us. He, Sebastian, and Kara are not always on duty and therefore are free to call us by our names without the titles. Peter sometimes joins us for our meetings or get-togethers. We discuss many things with each other that we might not tell others. It's comfortable, Lucian makes it easy for us to let loose.
"How are you feeling these days?"
"I'm doing well, thank you for asking." The look in his eyes is one of kindness.
I remember how sensitive he was when carrying the twins, so I'm always on guard as I watch him day to day. I know I don't have to be he is stronger than us…but I can't help it. Even though we're not mated I join him and Patheos most times. When he gave me permission, I was shocked at first, but than he told me, "You've been bound to only me for soo many ceras, I don't want you to have to curve your desires because I'm your only true mate."
I smile back at Lucian. It makes me happy to be with him in any context. I feel so much closer to him. He lets me be as selfish and unrestrained as I want, like Patheos when in private. I'm always touching and kissing his tail that I do it unconsciously now. …. Like…now. When I notice and try to pull my hand away, he catches it and puts it back. I hear Daniel laugh quietly.
****
I can't believe that happened! I know it was his father instead but I'm still so giddy about it and I'm always wrapping myself in his fur. It's so weird saying that. I still kinda wish it were Lucian II though. Seeing him all the time is becoming more painful. I know I'm an open book because they can totally read minds, but I can't help my feelings for him! And I always flashback to that night. I have to catch myself when David looks at me. It's almost like he wants to kill me. That look in his eyes is so scary I'm pretty sure that I unconsciously ball up next to him.
There's a knock at the door. Ethan goes to answer it. It's…. Master Lucian.
"Hello David, Scott."
"Hey Uncle Luc."
"Hello Master Lucian." I sit up and lower my head after quickly glimpsing him and catching his eye.
"I'm going to steal them for a bit." He smiles warmly. "Is that okay?"
"Of course, Unc." His laughter sounds shaky. He scratches the back of his head. Something like a nervous tick I noticed that he has.
I'm not sure, but I've always felt that he acts differently around the twins and their dad.
Walking down the hall something feels different this time. Wait…we're walking in the opposite direction of Master Marques' room. My stomach starts to tighten as we stop in front of his door. When it opens a knot forms in my throat. I think…I'm having…a panic attack! It's become routine that when one of them comes to fetch me from David this late at night it's so I can be with one of them intimately….Well…I've only been with Master Lucian twice.
The beating of my heart is growing louder. His teeth are pretty. The grin on his face is pleasant. He moves to the side to let us in.
Master Lucian walks away not saying a word.
When Ethan hands him the key, my mind goes blank. I….think….I'm shaking.
"Scott!" I feel his hand on my shoulder. "Let's calm you down first."
The smell of chamomile hits my nose. I take a sip and close my eyes.
Wow! This atmosphere is totally different from whenever I'm sent to David. But it probably had to do with him not liking the idea to begin with.
Opening my eyes, I say, "Somehow, I forgot just for a moment…how nice it is being in your room."
The sound of his laugh fills my heart. I can't believe that I fell for him! I did have a crush on Dae, but after spending time with Lucian and the others I started to feel weird. I didn't know what to do or if it was actually happening. After coming here and seeing him in passing my feelings were reaffirmed. And now, I know why I've never had a girlfriend and why I truly only liked her as a friend.
"I know it's not your first time, but I want OUR first time to be special." He slides next to me and takes the cup and saucer out of my hands. "You might not remember the conversation that we had that one time…" He trails off, but I totally remember.
"…Yea…I do." I didn't realize it 'til now, he's holding both of my hands. "I told you back then that none of that matters to me. The past is the past. My feelings for you won't change. And…you're different from how you used to be."
"Hmph, that's what I love about you, Scott. You accept me. Flaws and all."
His hand brushes my cheek. I can feel my face turning red. He leans closer. I close my eyes tightly. I can feel his presence looming over me.
I brace for contact. I hear him chuckle before the softness of his lips touch mine.
That night will forever be etched in my mind.
****
"Dad, you're in tuthia. You need your skin back. Uncle V agrees with me."
"…But we need you to be at your best for Jakartha's delivery."
"It's fine! Scott and my skin will just have to be in the room with us."
"Well you heard him." He says, preparing the laser dagger.
"Why are you going along with this when you were so against me doing it?"
"Do you really need to ask that?" He laughs..
Watching him go back and forth with them I can only think why would he do this…for a human! Don't tell me that he really loves him?! I haven't taken my eyes off him since we entered the room. The way he's been looking at Scott scares me. I'm his first permanent mate, but even so…I worry what will happen to us in the future.
"Lucian, just let him do this." Uncle Patheos finally speaks up, placing father's fur back on him.
Lucian bites down and doesn't make a sound as the skin is cut from his back. I scream on the inside. That look, I hate it soo much!