Miko Ishihara is not a name usually given to a man. It is a feminine name, after all.
That name, I wished it had some significance or form of power behind it. I longed for something that would make me extraordinary and give me secret never-seen-before mystical prowess or something.
My birthright just got me bullied in Elementary school.
I suppose that one good thing my name gave me was the moniker, "Demonic Pretty Boy of Showa Middle!"
Just kidding, that was a joke~
My pathetic and abhorrent nickname is "Lady Legs Ishihara."
Hey, that title just now did sound pretty cool though. Maybe I should have tried my hand at being some Gangster instead of sticking with this corporate job. I was referring to "Demonic Pretty Boy of Showa Middle," please don't get them confused, dear reader.
A small cloud appears, fogging up my window. I try contemplating my life as a potential Gangster, my eyes close in some amount of concentration for this session of daydreaming.
Hmmm, that life would be rather memorable, I think. I mean, the scenario I am dreaming up would be like that.
I'd be wriggling through depths for the sake of avenging my dead parents.
My brothers in arms would gather in a circle and drink some piss-poor alcohol while swearing some blood-brother allegiance to one another.
Hehehe, that does sound pretty fun despite the trouble, wouldn't it?
My head begins to race at the speed of light, trying to extend that fantasy into an actual story. My body temperature begins to rise, and then I'd turn the area around me into ash as my hair starts to turn yellow and point towards the heavens.
I could feel tumultuous and chaotic energy run rampant within. I am the legendary Super S*iyan. With my eyes closed, my lips curve upwards in amusement at the ridiculous thought.
"We have now reached Shibuya, I repeat. We are now in Shibuya." A raspy and perpetually annoyed voice rang true. The Bus-Driver shattered my carefully crafted dream with but a few words over the intercom.
Ahh~ what a shame. I wanted to dream a bit more as well.
Lurching forward and straightening my posture as I begin to rise from my seat, all the while sighing in disappointment. It was time for my little theatrics to stop. My mind became focused as I brought cold and stale air into my lungs.
Stiffening, I summoned my most serious self to the forefront.
Carefully weaving through the jam-packed crowd, I quickly made my way onto the streets of Shibuya. I adjust my coat as a slight gust of cold air washed over my body, and a tremble blazed a path up my back. The world wants to remind me that it is still winter.
I took a look at my smartwatch. The tiny square read 8:24 AM. I still had a bit of time before getting in trouble for running behind schedule. I'll make a stop for some coffee then. It shouldn't take more than ten minutes, and then walking to my office would take another six. I'd be there before nine if things go without a hitch, of course.
Power walking forward briskly, my feet guide me to my favorite place here aside from the soap- err-
I meant the Adult Play Parks. Totally. Without a doubt, please don't inquire any further about this matter.
The line was much shorter than usual, lucky~ I should be able to get my Coffee and maybe even a donut then. Walking through the front door, I stood in line until it was my turn and placed my order. Professional as ever, the baristas finished in less than 2 minutes. I pumped my fist in delight. The time left allowed me to enjoy my small piece of heaven as I walked towards the hell known as work.
Right as I finish my glazed donut, I come up to the entrance of my workplace. I steel myself with one final gulp of air and go forward. The automatic doors silently opened as I continued forth, heading for the elevator.
A few people were already on the ride up. Frowning imperceptibly, I sigh softly in slight annoyance at the need to wait. Not a few blinks of light later, I was now on the third floor.
I moved swiftly to my cubicle. Unfurling my coat, I fold it into a square and stack the thick clothing neatly to the side of my desk. The office was still asleep, with hardly any people in the office as of yet.
A quick press on the power brought the tower of circuitry to life. Logging in and checking today's workload, I didn't need a third-person camera to know my soul was already leaving my body.
Our clients this time were part of some hospitality line of work. The clients wanted us to make something that would be a glorified receptionist, only except automatic. So, the customer desired a program capable of identifying faces and greeting the scanned guest, with a personalized message, before granting the guest access to their rooms.
My eyes narrowed in a mixture of hostility and exasperation. The entire lower half of my face attempted to invert itself. I didn't want to take another glance at the cursed note. Even so, I further scrutinized the scrap for details.
*Oh, even better, I had a time limit. The higher-ups wanted this done in… three days?!*
*What?*
*Are you fucking with me??? That would be impossible! It is inhumane! Unethical! Did those geezers even understand what I needed to do this by my lonesome?!*
My hand begins to massage my head as a sudden migraine assaults me with the intensity of a supernova. While I wanted to throttle whoever assigned me such a blasphemous task, I had little or rather no choice but to grit my teeth and do my best to complete this arduous task. Complaining and bitching would do me little now anyways. It wasn't productive after all. Not even to mention doing so would get me fired.
I have no other option. I must, no- I need to make use of every second now.
Clambering for the keyboard and mouse, I start Visual Empire. This is my coding program, top-of-the-line stuff. The program has its kinks, but at least I was most familiar with this.
The hours begin to melt away, as does my will to live while I continue to slave away on my tools. I wish I still could vent my pent-up frustration with the current problem I was facing, but that just utterly wasn't the case anymore. The problem might as well have been a tradition with this Compiling Error and me.
My fate, bound with this blight for life as a lovey-dovey pair by now. Maybe I should exchange my wedding vows with it.
My response to the squiggly red line was clear as day. That was to start nursing the reemergence of blaring pain in my head. My will to fight and continue dancing with this bastard was non-existent. The efforts I laid down plucked away yet again, in the same way as the last 139 times earlier these past six months.
I wish I were joking about that. This song and dance never changed.
All about this made me ponder the same questions that echoed within me like a shout in a cave. What was the point of all those classes? That master's degree? Was there a point to seeking higher-level education if that didn't even manage to help me in the end?
...
I need a break, desperately so.
Sluggishly, I rise from my desk, similar to a zombie. The time was now 2:03 PM, time for a lunch break.
The course for today was yakisoba bread, instant ramen, and mineral water. Everything was astonishingly bland, and I could not bring myself to want to eat. After a moment of procrastination, I forced the unsavory portions down with practiced ease regardless. I still needed to eat to function. The calories were necessary, but I was not any more energetic.
Finally, I took the final bite from my lunch, cleaned everything up, and headed over to my desk. As I made my way back, my boss started walking in my direction. Meet Daibuta Kuzusawa.
"Hey Miko, how are those legs treating you?" Immediately as Kuzusawa said this, he laughed vulgarly with the tone and pitch that exceeded a hyena. Of course, I did not find this amusing, so I just stood there with the tiniest of polite smiles waiting for him to finish laughing.
"Oh come on, lighten up lady legs! You know you're my favorite one out of the bunch. So much in fact that I chose you specifically for that AI assignment!" Kuzusawa's grin was sickening, a twisted perversion of a benign expression. He was prodding me, looking for a reaction.
I couldn't believe what was coming out of the barbarian's mouth. Oh wait, I could. I listened to the words straight from the source, after all.
*Lies. The fuck do you mean, land whale? Like hell, I'm your favorite employee.*
"You....you chose that for me, Chief Kuzusawa?" With unimaginable command and focus over myself, I spoke slowly, enunciating my words per nanometer. I cannot show a reaction, not to this man. He'd relish in my torment.
At this point, I am confident that I will be strangling this man in a dark alley. It was not even the first time something like this happened either, mind you.
"Why, of course, I did. My superiors wanted it to be a whole department thing but, I convinced them to let you solely take care of it." The bipedal vat of excess placatingly placed his hand on my shoulder, falsely reassuring me with more lies.
"No one here is half as smart as you are, and if you are successful, this department will see very hefty raises~" Kuzusawa's smile grew predatory at the mention of money. His grip tightened.
I closed my eyes and breathed slowly as my true thoughts boiled within as magma. My teeth gritted together quietly as my smile grew strained.
*So everyone clings to my reward without having to work?! I have to pull out a mountain of my ass in three days because this cunt convinced the superiors?! Your ass-kissing won't work, you bastard! I know you're just trying to soften me up, you pissant! You forced me into this hellhole on purpose!*
I open my mouth, ready to vent my anger on this sad excuse for a pig. It would be my pleasure to deny this person a way to heaven. Fire gathered at the tip of my tongue, the foulest of venoms dripping down from my teeth. All my tools at hand were ready to make braised pork.
"Thank you so much for this opportunity. I will make sure to deliver. For my sake and yours." - is what I ended up saying. My concept itself shook with disgust at the thought of still being remotely cordial with this goddamn gorilla.
Of course, no matter how much I hated the man, I have none of the spine required to badmouth the cretin. Especially considering he can bench press double my weight even with that spherical body. What was the world feeding pigs nowadays?
"I'm sure you will legs. Well, get back at it! I'll check up on you later, and make sure to keep an eye out for those perverts on the train!" He finally pulled away and left with an ear-grating rattle of oinks. I knew this bastard was enjoying this. Damn this ingrate to the seventh circle of purgatory.
"Understood, Sir." I waited till he disappeared before I power walked to my desk with this newfound anger. But instead of letting it be a distraction, I turned it to fuel.
The orange glow of the world had faded to black, from afternoon to evening.
Usually, I would get up and head home. But thanks to my new assignment, I didn't have the luxury of enjoying my usual routine. I need to stay here at least for another 4 hours.
I have to keep working.
When even the chirps of crickets grew silent, I finally got the Facial feature working. Now the AI can discern who you are and whether you were moping, hungry, mad, and most of the emotions a human can experience. Yes, to you jokesters, [Kimi Ai] can sense if you are in the "mood."
This program will be operating in a Love Hotel, after all.
Never as a boy did I think this would be my future, alone and stressed in an empty office, creating an Ai that would detect whether you are horny or not. Guess that's something I'll be able to discuss with my therapist this weekend.
A meager derisive snort was all I could manage tonight.
Truly wonderful. Just great. I could already see the beginnings of light peek through the curtain in this dingy room.
I breathe out my soul for what was the umpteenth time today. I just needed to finish the custom message and customer recognition now.
I don't know how long it took, but I eventually finished the groundwork for the other functions.
Well, I suppose it is time to head home after a drink. I was in desperate need of being struck upside the head with hard liquor.
Time passed yet again, and once more, I found my rear on a bus back home. I was barely lucid.
I couldn't wait to fall asleep.
Sleep continued monotonously that night, but it was most certainly not a night of good sleep, unfortunately. It was a dreamless sleep.
Daylight broke through once more. Waking from my slumber, I went back to my job. I grew angry as I looked at my new workload, I worked, and I ate. I begrudgingly spoke with my boss, I then continued to slave away. I ate dinner and slept.
Daylight broke through once more. Waking from my slumber, I went back to my job. I grew angry as I looked at my new workload, I worked, and I ate. I begrudgingly spoke with my boss, I then continued to slave away. I ate dinner and slept- Daylight broke through once more. Waking from my slumber, I went back to my job. I grew angry as I looked at my new workload. I worked. I ate- Daylight broke through once more. Waking from my slumber- I fumed as I looked at my new workload, I worked, and I ate. I begrudgingly spoke with my boss, I then continued to slave away. I ate dinner and slept.
I lay on my mattress, face first on my pillow.
The days blurred together as per routine. My waking hours were enduringly muted. Dreadful as ever, it has been this way for the last eight years. At these moments, at times like this, I think and reflect. What was the point of me choosing this profession?
My work was nothing I wanted to do. My efforts drowned in a sea of labor. My passion, my will itself, smothered for the sake of others.
My progress and contributions meant nothing, I've come to realize. No one was there to recognize my results, not even myself. My prizes were stolen away from me. Everything I did wasn't unique, I've come to realize. I knew well my techniques would become a nameless asset doomed to drift away from memories. Not a drop of satisfaction in my work from start to finish.
Why did I even continue down this path?
Did I work to put food on the table?
Perhaps I continued this charade to continue living?
I don't know anymore.
I just wanted to know why.
I fail to remember the reason I began going down this path anymore.
Why do I continue doing this?