Jason took another deep breath and shifted himself into the village mason once again. Just experiencing what it was like to have a reasonable amount of mana for a short time had helped him immensely in regard to using it. He had come to the conclusion that the reason he was having so much trouble now, and before, was because everything he did was picking at the last few drops of mana that he had left.
Knowing what happened when someone had no mana at all made it much easier to understand why the last bit was so difficult to manipulate. Still, he could now shift his appearance at will, and since it required no additional mana to maintain anything affecting his own body, he could also do little things besides.
Create loud noises, make himself invisible, and even create simple illusions. Because of how quickly his mana regenerated and how little he could actually use, he found that no matter what he did, his mana topped out again almost instantaneously.
The sun had long since set, and Jason now sat alone in the darkness. Vanya wouldn't speak to him unless it was unavoidable, and Nora seemed to prefer Vanya's company now. She didn't even stick around to play with the sparrow anymore.
Jason could hardly blame Vanya. He hadn't realized how adverse she would be to him shifting her into a human form. He still didn't regret it. He wished that she would let him at least make an illusion around her so that they could take the main path through the mountains instead of hiking through untamed and uninhabited wilderness like they had been for the past couple days.
They tried to loosely follow the mountain pass as none of them actually knew where they were going which meant that they couldn't even risk lighting a fire. Fire would attract people who Vanya would slaughter without a second thought. It could be worse, but it was so much colder in the mountains.
The mountain pass followed a river into the mountains so water wasn't an issue anymore and they had run across a small wagon that looked to have been ambushed by bandits on the road. Everything of worth had been taken, but they had managed to scavenge for some old ratty blankets and warmer clothes at least.
Despite traveling together, Jason felt even more alone than he had before he had run into Nora and Vanya, so he had spent most of his time talking with the sparrow.
"It doesn't even feel like we're traveling together," Jason said, pulling out his ration for the night. The same food every day combined with constantly not having quite enough was starting to get to him.
"I do not understand why we are still with them," the sparrow answered. "Surely we could get away from her without too much trouble. Join a caravan down on the road."
"I think you are seriously underestimating Vanya's resolve," Jason said with a sigh. Still, she had a point. Why was he still traveling with them? At first he had said it was so that he could take care of Nora, but the girl would hardly even answer him if he said something to her.
She was all but tied at the hip to the demon, who strangely didn't push her away. Nora was probably more capable than him anyway, with all his power tied up where he couldn't reach it.
"I have told you I am sorry," the sparrow answered his unspoken thoughts. Jason had yet to fully get used to having someone in his mind all the time.
"I know," he reassured her. "Don't read too much into it. Everybody thinks stupid things now and then, it's just most people don't have someone listening to their every thought." That was true enough, but how was someone supposed to guard their own thoughts?
"I wish that I could not hear your thoughts," the sparrow finally said. "It is a burden on you to always be careful of your thoughts and it is a burden on myself to hear them." She paused looking away from him towards the tiny sliver of moon that was visible tonight. "I feel as though my entire existence is a burden."
Jason had been feeling melancholy ever since the strange high of experiencing as much power as he had the other day. He had spent a good deal of time complaining while the sparrow listened. Not that she had any choice, but she had still listened.
Somehow, though, having things the other way around made him feel far better than letting out his frustrations ever had. He couldn't look into the sparrow's mind like she could and it felt good to hear that she was struggling as much as he was.
"That sounds bad," he said, feeling color rush to his cheeks. "Your existence isn't a burden to me even if sometimes I make it seem that way. You should know that for every time I get frustrated at you, there are two times when your presence is the only thing that keeps me sane out here."
"That does make me feel a little better."
They sat there staring into the dark night in silence for a time before Vanya woke. She met his eyes for a brief moment which was the only sign she gave that he could rest now. Vanya had succumbed and let him start taking a turn at watch, but she wouldn't give him any more recognition than she had to.
Jason stepped off the small rock that he had been sitting on and walked a short way over to where he had decided to sleep. It was on a small section of rock, so the ground was hard and uncomfortable, but it was partially enclosed on the windward side blocking most of the cold breeze. That alone made it worth it to him.
The moon was tiny, and the trees here were sparse making it an ideal night to watch the stars. Jason wished that he could find some paper and something to write with so he could start making a star map here, but that was proving difficult.
He had never had much interest in making his own map back in his old world. There had been any number of different maps for him to choose from in books or on the internet. Here, however, the entire world was new to him. Perhaps there would be books with star maps somewhere, but he'd probably never get access to them anyway.
There ought to be all sorts of new constellations that the people here would use for navigation, but maybe he could start figuring all of that out for himself if he could start mapping the stars himself.
He had already made up a few constellations himself that he was rather proud of. There was a group of six stars that looked vaguely like a narwhal, a group of seven that looked like an eagle soaring through the sky, and his personal favorite, five bright stars creating a piece of pizza. It even had several dimmer stars inside that made up the toppings.
His stomach growled at the thought, but there was nothing he could do. Maybe if he became famous and influential enough he could scour the world for ingredients and make the world's first pizza.
"It doesn't sound like this pizza will help us win this war," the sparrow said.
"Do you ever think about anything besides war and the eternal battle between light and darkness?"
It was a bit sarcastic, and Jason didn't really expect her to respond, but she did. "I don't really know what else to think about."
"What is something that you want?" Jason asked. "And don't say anything about the war," he said, cutting her off. "It should be something related to you personally.
"It doesn't matter what I want if we aren't successful," she protested.
"Have you ever even thought about it? What's the point of living if you don't really live?" The sparrow didn't say anything so he kept going. "When I was a kid, I had the chance to take some college classes my senior year in high school," he started.
"I don't know what any of those things mean," the sparrow interjected.
"When I was a kid, everyone had to take certain classes, but then after those are done, you can continue your education at a bigger institution. It's a bit hard to explain, but I wanted to quickly move on from being a kid to doing something bigger and better. I thought it would look better on my resu…help me find work."
"So you wanted to leave home and get an apprenticeship?"
"Yeah I suppose, kind of like that. But imagine you have friends at home and would have to go to a far away place for the apprenticeship. I wanted to just go and get started on it, but my mom gave me some really good advice. She said that it's good to have a goal and work hard for it, but you shouldn't forget to enjoy your life while getting there."
"I am not sure I understand, but your mother sounds like a nice person. I wonder what it would be like to have a mother."
Not having a mother…the more he talked to her, the less he understood her. "What…"
Jason lost his train of thought as Vanya appeared in front of him. It must be bad for her to be willing to talk to him directly.
"There are enemies about, prepare yourself and protect the girl."