"Let's go."
Without much notice my body was lifted from the cold, hard ground. It didn't take much strength, as my body had atrophied in this time. I sluggishly dragged my feet and followed in step. I kept my gaze straight ahead and with every step I took the harsh winter I was contained to, turned to summer. The beaming rays welcomed me to what would be my hell. Crowds of people gathered for my return. Those who cheered as one, those who sneered in anger, and worst of all, those who tried not to look out of pity but remained at the scene. One in particular, a pure and beautiful angel with golden locks similar to the blinding sun. She clasped her delicate hands together in prayer, looking down with a saddened expression.
Coward, if you are going to kill me at least have enough shame to face me.
As if in a trance I followed as instructed. I stepped up to the podium when the guards told me to step up. I stood still for them as they tethered my body to the stake, perfectly placed in the middle of the plaza. The louder the noise got the the more I realized how fast my hourglass was emptying.
"Let today be a reminder to all that light will always burn out evil! Now witch we will send you back where you belong in the depths of purgatory!"
The worst scum of them all. A wolf disguised as a sheep, or more accurately a cleric. He preached with all the strength in his chest the will of their so called "saintess". She had granted them life, and with this precious life of theirs they assigned themselves to purging all evils of this world. Evils like me. In a way I was almost jealous of how much value these people held for their lives.
Having enough, I drowned out the sounds and watched as this silent movie flickered every so brightly in red and orange color. My body was being incinerated by the savage flames, yet I felt none of the accompanying pain. At the very least I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of my suffering, at least not on the outside. I lived neither as a tragic heroine nor a great villain. In truth I pitied myself the most, as what I was was a mere scapegoat of corrupted faith.
You know how they say that when you are dying, you start to think about your life. The memories you made, the people you loved, and the regrets you had. My life was not memorable. It didn't have much love either. However regret...
If I could do it all over again what would I want? Would I want revenge? No, that's not it. I would want to avenge her.
The useless me of the past.
~
Through closed lids I could feel the brightness, but this brightness was not as threatening. My lashes slowly fluttered open to the afterlife that was sure to greet me. For some reason it looked a lot like my old room.
This must mean I'm in hell, right?
The last place I'd ever want to be is this room; no this house. I lifted my body up and looked down at my appearance. I was dressed in one of my old nightgowns, and my arms were bare enough for me to confirm no sight of burnt flesh. Before I could do anymore investigating a couple knocks sounded at the door.
"Miss here is your breakfast."
Just as most of the servants did, the maid entered before I could answer. The sense of déjà vu was unsettling, nevertheless I went with it.
"Right, thank you."
As hard as tried to stop overthinking, I couldn't help but feel like something was off. This maid somehow looked different from what I remembered. Almost like she looked younger.
"I-Is there something wrong?" she said with caution.
I didn't realize I was staring for so long.
"No, it is nothing."
She looked at me suspiciously but continued.
"For breakfast we have chicken sausage and pepper hash."
She removed the lid from the dish and as soon as the aroma hit my senses, I could feel the color drain from my face.
Burnt flesh. It smells like burnt flesh.
I knew it wasn't actually burnt human flesh, but it was enough to trigger the memories of my death into overdrive. I placed a hand over my mouth as I begun to feel nauseated.
"Miss?"
I ignored her and hurriedly jumped out of bed straight to the restroom, knocking over the tray on my way there.
"Ugh-"
I grabbed onto the toilet in crouched position and released whatever contents was left in my stomach.
"Miss are you okay?!"
After a couple dry heaves I was able to somewhat regain my composure.
"I-I'm fine."
I got up from the ground, my body heavy with exhaustion, and went to the sink. The maid didn't know whether to help me or whether to give me space. I washed my hands and rinsed out my mouth. As I brought my face up to the mirror my eyes widened in horror.
"Leave." I said quietly.
"Excuse me?" the maid replied nervously.
"Leave now!"
It came out louder than I intended it to, but the maid left my room in haste, a scared look on her face. I shut the bathroom door and locked it.
What is going on?!
I pulled at the skin of my face. It was me. Honey brown eyes, long messy hair that was noticeably dyed black with slight exposure of my natural dark purple roots. A complexion pale from the lack of sun, and weak due to the lack of stimulation. Everything was the same from the last time I saw myself, except it wasn't. I knew for a fact that the twenty four year old me who died was not who I was presently looking at. I looked younger.
Am I somehow reliving my past?
I bit down on my tongue until I could taste the hint of blood. It hurt. I could feel pain. It felt way too real to be a dream.
"Could it be that I'm actually alive?" I whispered.
That was the only answer I could come up with. I knew this was the past, but it was a past that had yet to experience the future.
~
"Lady Laemise, we will need to move on with the procession" the head butler, Harold, reminded me.
"Yes, just give me a moment to say goodbye."
He nodded and took a couple steps back.
I looked down at the old women sleeping, just as stoically as she once was alive.
It's been a couple days since I woke up in this state. With each passing day I accepted the fact that this was my present reality, with no idea how it came to be. On top of that it seemed like I was the only one with memories of the future. I did not even consider the idea that those memories could have been that of a dream. My suffering was real. My cruel death was real. These livid emotions I have are real.
There is also the question of why I was brought back to this specific moment in time.
My grandmother's funeral was being held after she had passed peacefully in her sleep, just before I came back to this time.
I never met my father, he had died while my mother was pregnant with me. He was the original heir to the Dior Dukedom of the Serenitatem kingdom, but ran away for reasons unknown. I didn't really feel sad about it, it's hard to have feelings for someone you don't even know. As for my mother, I have little memory of her. However her existence had a place in my heart, as if it were a lingering sensation held desperately by the child in me.
"Don't worry baby, mama will protect you."
A blurry image of a smiling women with purple hair lighter than my own, covered in falling snow. That is the only real memory I carry of her. My grandmother was the one to tell me that my mother was no longer with us. I don't know how my grandmother managed to find me but she took me in and raised me. At the time, she was the duchess of the Dior Dukedom before handing over the title to my uncle. She was quite a well known figure, having had many accomplishments within the Serenitatem kingdom. However, she had become very absent from noble society and kept to herself. She was the image of elegance and grace. My grandmother was not cruel, nor was she loving. She provided me with a comfortable life yet never intervened to the abuse I was subjected to mainly by my uncle's family. To this day I honestly don't know what she thought of me.
"Well grandmother, I hope this is our last goodbye." I smiled down at her.
Although I don't know what she thought of me, she held the biggest place in my heart. In the dozens of white lilies that filled her casket I placed my only offer.
"A yellow daffodil, that is quite the unique choice my lady." Harold offered a hand.
"Mmm." I nodded, turning my back as the casket was closed shut.
Little did he know, this was a message. Hoping that it would somehow reach her in the afterlife. I had many questions, but the one thing I was sure of is be this another chance, I have to survive. Survive so that I can learn about the many things that were unknown to me.
For one, am I really a witch that everyone claimed me to be?