Fated: A word that foretells our destinies before birth. Fortunately, there is talk that one can change their fate by sheer will. I always believed it was true, never once doubted on an individual's will power. But now, after every ounce of resolution is drained out of me. I am in urgent need of those gossipy tidbits to wake up and prove to me how much truth lies in their words.
Feeling numb, I stand firm on the shore of the sea, gazing down at the waves roll and crash on the coast end as the moon sparkles above in the sky, layering a silver string over the horizon and countless stars leave their appearance on the sea skin. This moment is one of those, where it leaves you speechless and makes you curious to grasp all the hidden secrets of nature- but not me.
For me, this moment is the only thing I have been waiting for, from two months, three weeks, and twelve days. That should have been the fact, but in actuality, my deep conscience - which even I wasn't aware of - have been waiting for this time since it started to learn the true meaning of loss and pain. The pain which I didn't remember before this. The feeling of loss that is now growing inside me. I am not here for answers, no, because I think the time for that is gone. I am aware of the fact that all along, I have become a ticking bomb, which is very close to its last second.
I graze the bronze-shiny-metal object in my hand softly, feeling it's texture beneath my fingers. I hear a clicking sound resonate in the air as I disengage the safety lever by sliding it. My ears perked up at the shuffling voice behind me. I clasp on the object in my hand tightly and turn around sharply. I angle my hand in front of my face, pointing the pistol at the source of the voice.
That last straw of my patient ends when I look into the eyes of my target. Eyes that hold so much hostility as they stare into my own. I lose control over my senses, and before I can know what I am doing, my fingers pull onto the trigger. With the bang, the bullet shoots through the gun in the direction of that person. But I didn't get to see whether it hit its target, as before it could happen, something hard hits at the rear of my head. My vision goes fuzzy, and the lapping sound of waves gets faint in the background before I blackout.
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Two months ago
I removed my mask and gloves slowly and slid it inside my coat's pocket. Walking out of the door, I saw faces of expectations and hope, staring at me. Eyes full of eagerness to hear something good about their closed ones, who just fought a battle with life behind these doors. Even after a year in this profession, I still didn't get tired of seeing the smile that appears on their faces after I tell them.
"He's out of danger."
The woman in front sighed in relief. She broke into a smile and held my hands."Thank you, doctor,"
I patted her hand in an assuring way. "You can meet him after he's shifted to another ward,"
I passed a pleasant smile to other family members and left from there. Once I got inside my cabin, my phone started ringing. I removed my coat and hanged it on the chair before sitting on it. I picked up my phone to found my best friend's name flashing on the screen.
"Hey, Shirley. What's up?" I asked her once I picked up the call,
"Don't hey me," She replied angrily. "When was the last time you called me?"
I bit my tongue and tried to find a way to get saved from her wrath. "Trust me, Shirley. I have been getting a lot of cases these days,"
"Tessa, don't forget. We both are in the same professional line," Shirley chided. "I know it can get tough, but it doesn't mean you can ignore your only best friend,"
I smacked my head. I knew this was not going to end well. Either I would be dragged down to a mall for window shopping a whole day, or worse ended up as the third wheel. I hoped for it to be the first one, but luck wasn't on my side today.
"Look, John has three tickets for a concert tomorrow. And you are not allowed to refuse," Shirley said, leaving no space to back out.
I huffed in resignation. "Fine, but you guys have to pick me up,"
Shirley squealed in delight and agreed straight away. I shook my head, amused at her antics, and cut the call. Shirley and I had been friends from elementary school. I met John through Shirley when we were in middle school, and since then, we three were joint at the hip. We didn't need anyone else. We were enough for each other. Even Shirley and I did our graduation together in California, while John stayed back to complete his engineering course.
It was a headache to see them going through their long-distance relationship phase, which ended without any of us getting bruised emotionally. It had been a year since Shirley and I came back to Manhattan, and also a year since we took a break from our jobs and spent some time with each other. We did have chats and meetups, but it lasts only for a few minutes. We didn't have night outs or outings like before. It is because I always wanted to be a neurologist, and when I got a step closer to my dream, I started working so hard that I forgot to give time to myself. This concert was a ticket for us to enjoy ourselves and go back to our old times.
I got up from the chair and took my purse before leaving for the reception. The lady sitting behind the desk looked at me and smiled once I stood in front of her.
"Hello Juliet, are there any other cases for me today?" I asked. She told me to wait and went through her computer. I looked up at the television behind her on the wall, on which a news channel was on.
'And for tomorrow's weather.....'
Before the person on television could do his daily routine job of reading out the weather report, I tuned him out and turned back to the lady as she gazed up and shook her head. "No, doctor. Your today's scheduled is clear,"
"Thank you, I'll be going back home then," I thanked her. I was eager to leave as I know how happy mom and dad would be after seeing me coming home early.
Before leaving, I informed her one more thing. "I will be taking the weekend off, so if there's any case for me. Just tell any other doctor who's free that time, to handle it,"
She nodded at me and wrote it down on a sticky note. She stuck the chit note on top of the computer.
The weather channel spokesperson's voice fainted in the background as I left from there through the main entrance. Getting into the car, I took it out of the driveway and drove back home. My insides were churning with excitement, looking forward to this weekend.
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