Jace paced the aisle as he and Aggie waited for the concert to end and the band to return to the bus. She sat on the kitchen counter watching him pass back and forth in front of her. She hadn't let him out of her sight all day, but at least she'd gotten him out of the fuckin' hospital. He owed her another one.
"Why don't you go watch the show?" Aggie asked. "You aren't getting any rest."
"I can't watch." Just the thought of Jon onstage, playing his music, was making him insane. Except it wasn't Jace's music. Not really. Jon had composed every bass line in their current set list. The new album? Yes, Jace had something to do with those compositions—they had his stamp on them—but their previous three albums were all Jon.
"Why don't you tell me what's bothering you?" Aggie snagged him around the waist as he paced past her and wrapped her long legs around his hips to keep him from escaping.
He stared at the cheap heart-shaped locket nestled between her breasts. "Why do you always wear this thing?" he asked, lifting the light, peeling piece of jewelry from its resting place.
"Uh-uh," she said. "No."
He glanced at her in question.
"You aren't changing the subject. I'm not going to let you."
He lowered his eyes again and shrugged. She drew him closer, her arms stealing around his neck.
"Tell me, Jace. No one's here but me."
He stroked the plastic and gold-foiled heart with his fingertips as he struggled to find words. It wasn't that he didn't want to tell her. Saying his feelings out loud made his palms sweat and his heart race.
Aggie ran her fingers over the edge of his ear. "Do you miss being onstage that much?"
He shook his head slightly. He loved playing live, but not for the glory like Sed, or the excitement like Brian, or the fun like Trey, but to share the music, his soul… like Eric. That wasn't what was bothering him though.
"Is it because Jon is out there trying his damnedest to replace you?"
He nodded.
Her fingers slid down his jaw under his chin. "Look at me."
He took a deep breath and forced his eyes to hers. He expected her pitying look, but found her expression sincere and so caring that his heart rose to his throat, stealing his air.
"He won't. Don't worry. There's only one Jace. You are one hundred percent irreplaceable." She hugged him close, her cheek pressing against his. "Irreplaceable," she whispered.
He shrugged out of his sling and wrapped both arms around her body, drawing her closer still. He leaned against her, holding her. No, she was holding him, comforting him. It felt good to lean on her and at the same time terrifying. He wanted to let her in. Let her see everything he was, but what if something happened to her? What if she left him? What if she died? What if she saw what was really inside him and she hated him? The way his mother had hated him… and his father… and Kara. Every person he'd ever loved had hated him before dying.
Jace jerked out of her grasp, turned away, and pressed on his temples with the heels of his hands. He had to force those memories from his thoughts. He couldn't deal with them. Not now. Not ever. Being with Aggie kept bringing them to the surface. Things he'd thought he'd buried years ago. He didn't know how much longer he could let her stay—for the sake of his sanity.
She hopped off the counter, leaned against his back, and wrapped her arms around his waist. "You okay?"
He twisted away, unable to stand her tenderness.
"I see," she murmured. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No, I don't want to fuckin' talk about it." He lifted a hand, his palm in her face. "Just give me a minute to myself."
She grabbed him by the front of his T-shirt and pulled him toward the bedroom.
"I said I didn't want to talk about it."
She glared at him over her shoulder. "I'm done talking, Jace. It's time for your punishment."
The hard, cold look on her face had him instantly aroused. Punishment. That's exactly what he needed. But how could she hurt him effectively? She didn't have her tools of torture. She shoved him into the room and slammed the door. Her hands moved to the waist of his jeans. She unfastened his belt and yanked it free of the loops.
"Turn around," she demanded.
Even without the leather and thigh-high boots, she turned him on. Her commanding demeanor was enough to get his blood pumping.
"Hit me."
"I'll hit you when I think you've earned it. You owe me an apology."
His brow knitted with confusion. "For what?"
"Disrespect. Dismissing my concern by putting your hand in my face."
Had he done that? He hadn't been thinking clearly. Never did when his past intruded on his thoughts. "I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry, Mistress V," she said, reminding him to address her with respect.
"I'm sorry, Aggie. I just…" He turned his unfocused gaze to the floor.
"I know, baby," she whispered. "Turn around."
He turned.
When the leather snapped hard against his ass, his body shuddered. She hit him in the exact same spot again. Again. Each time the pain intensified, and his cock grew harder. He knew there was something wrong with him. This connection between sexual excitement and physical pain. But he couldn't help it. And Aggie gave him exactly what he needed without criticizing. She understood.
Understood him. He didn't know how. Wasn't sure he wanted her to.
She kept all her stinging blows to his ass. He wanted to feel the bite of the leather against his bare flesh, but she hadn't told him to remove his clothes.
"Is your cock hard, Jace?"
"Yes." He sucked the word between his teeth.
"Show me. Unfasten your pants and pull it out for me to see."
He did what she said, growing even harder as he released his cock from its confines.
"Very nice," she murmured. "Do you want me to strike your bare ass?"
"Please."
"Lower your pants to your knees."
Trembling with anticipation, he eased his jeans down his hips and thighs.
"Your skin is already really red. Are you sure about this?"
"Ah God, Aggie. Hurt me. Please, hurt me."
"Well, since you pleaded so nicely."
The belt cracked as it struck the sensitized skin of his ass. His body jerked, and he gasped. He focused on the pain, needing it as a cover, needing it to blot out the vivid pain that stained his soul black. With each lash, the white hot sensation pressed the darkness deeper, where he could pretend it didn't exist.
After twenty or thirty strikes, Aggie moved her body against his back. She caressed his stinging, heated ass with her free hand. Cool and soothing. He shuddered with excitement as she continued to stroke him.
"Touch yourself," she whispered in his ear.
He opened his eyes and caught her gaze in the mirror over the dresser. She was gazing at his reflection, her attention riveted to his hard cock.
"Touch myself?"
"Wrap your hand around that big cock of yours and stroke it." She bit his ear. He shuddered again, but didn't obey. He couldn't bring himself pleasure. Never had before. Didn't plan on starting now. "Do it," she insisted.
"No."
She backed away. "Are you disobeying your mistress?"
"I can't, Aggie."
"Bullshit."
She went to the side table and pulled out the drawer where Brian kept his toys. Jace watched her warily. What was she planning on doing to him?
She pulled a bottle of oil from the drawer and squirted some into his hand. He resisted as she attempted to direct his hand to his cock.
"Aggie, don't."
"You seem to think the only reason you crave pain is because you deserve it."
"I do deserve it."
She shook her head at him. "You like it. It wouldn't make you hard if you didn't like it."
"No. That's not why," he insisted.
"Baby, it's okay to like it."
"It's weird." He knew that it was. That's why he tried to fool himself into thinking he needed the pain for a reason. Not because he liked it. He deserved it.
She closed their combined hands and drew his oiled hand up the length of his cock, pausing at its swollen head. Jace gasped as pleasure coursed through his body, already beyond excited by the throbbing sting in his ass.
"Maybe some people think it's weird," she said, "but I don't. I like that you like it. It makes me hot to see you like this."
"It does?" She pulled his hand down his shaft toward its base. The pleasure wasn't nearly as intense as it had been when the pain had been fresh. It was already dissipating.
"Yeah. Tell me what you want, Jace."
"I want…" He hesitated. "I want pain."
"And what else?"
She slid their combined hands up his cock again. He shuddered. "And pleasure."
"That wasn't so hard to admit, was it?"
Yeah, it kind of was, actually. He had never wanted to admit it even to himself.
"The faster you stroke yourself the harder I hit," she said. "Do you want me to hit you hard?"
"Yes." Their combined hands moved faster over his oil-slicked cock. Pumping it. Faster. "Hit me hard, Aggie. Hurt me."
She released his hand and took a step back. He waited for the next blow, but it never came. He glanced over his shoulder. "Are you finished?" he asked.
"You've stopped moving your hand."
He bit his lip and closed his eyes, rubbing his palm from the throbbing head of his cock down to its base. The belt tapped his ass. He stroked faster. She hit harder.
Faster. Pumping it hard. Relishing her response. His pleasure built. His excitement intensified. He worked the sensitive head with his oiled hand, the grooves between his fingers bumping over the rim. She was striking him so hard now his flesh tingled in protest, but he wanted more.
"Ah God, Aggie." He stroked his shaft even faster, massaged its head until pain and pleasure converged. "Wait. Stop. I'm gonna come. Wait." He released his cock. The belt fell still. "No. Keep hitting me, please."
"You stopped touching yourself."
"Yes, I know. I don't want to come. I don't… I don't deserve it."
"You need that release, Jace. It's the fifteen seconds out of the day that you actually let go of everything. I want that for you."
"I need the pain more."
"I don't believe you. Besides, watching you jack off is really turning me on."
He glanced at her over his shoulder again, his brows lifted. "It is?"
"Oh yeah." She peeled her red T-shirt off and then tossed her bra aside. "I want you to come on my tits, baby. Do you see how hard my nipples are?"
He saw them, all right—wanted those taut tips against his tongue. She tapped his ass with the belt again.
"Keep going. Stroke it until you come."
He kept going. Mostly because she wanted him to, but a part of him liked the pleasure blended with the pain, liked that it made her hot—couldn't get enough. He wondered why it had never occurred to him to jack off while someone hit him. Stroking himself as vigorously as he was, it didn't take him long to find his peak. When he shuddered and gasped, Aggie turned him around, dropped to her knees in front of him, and offered him her breasts. He slid his cock between the luscious globes and pressed them together. His breath hitched as spasms gripped the base of his cock, and he spurted his cum between her breasts, over her chest, and up her throat. When his body stilled, Aggie tipped him onto the bed.
"Oh my God, I'm so turned on right now," she said.
"You should have told me that before I wasted my load."
"That was no waste." She lifted her large breast toward her mouth and licked at what fluids she could reach with her tongue.
"You keep that up, and I'll be hard again in no time."
She stood, took off the rest of her clothes, and crawled beside him on the bed. "Suck them, Jace."
He didn't hesitate in drawing one hard nipple into his mouth. He tasted his own cum on them. Loved how it mingled with the taste of her skin.
She shuddered. "God, I'm hot."
Fuck yeah, she was. He watched her hand move down her belly and settle between her thighs. When her fingers disappeared from view, he lifted his head and moved down her body for a better view. She slid two fingers in and out of her swollen, dripping wet pussy. Her other hand rubbed at her clit.
"Oh," she gasped. "Don't stop yet, Jace. Suck my nipples. Please."
He was torn between giving her what she wanted and watching her pleasure herself. He couldn't do both at the same time. Aggie shuddered and cried out. The door burst open.
Jon stood on the threshold, looking mildly amused. "You two done? I've got four easy chicks and a raging hard-on. None of them are willing to wait a minute longer."
"Get the fuck out of here," Jace yelled.
Jace stood and pulled his pants up, hurriedly fastening them. He headed for the door with a balled fist. "I've had enough of your bullshit, Jon."
"Is it my fault you didn't lock the door?"
Aggie grabbed Jace by the arm, but he shrugged her off.
"There's no lock on the door, jackass. And it is your fault that you didn't knock," Jace said.
Jon's eyes moved to Aggie, who stood beside Jace trying to get his attention. Jace glanced at her. Beautiful, as usual, and entirely naked. "Go put on some fucking clothes!"
"Don't yell at me," she growled.
"My God, Aggie, you're a bombshell." Jon jerked a thumb in Jace's direction. "What do you see in this lame ass?"
Jace had taken enough abuse from this prick. He still hadn't paid him back for planting fake drugs on him at the border. Jace placed both hands on Jon's chest and shoved. Jon stumbled backwards into the young girls who'd accompanied him on the bus. And by young, Jace meant young—still in high school probably. Jace would be surprised if any were of age. What was this guy thinking?
"Get off the bus," Jace said.
"You get off the bus. I'm not even sure what you're still doing here. Thanks for taking up my slack while I was gone, but I'm back. The band doesn't need you anymore."
"That doesn't mean much, coming from you," Jace said.
"What about the fans? What they want? When's the last time they chanted your name?"
Well, never, to be honest, but that didn't matter. Sed, Brian, and Trey kept the crowd entertained. Jace just did his job and put every bit of his tattered heart and lacerated soul into his playing. He didn't need the spotlight. The guys tried to get him to interact with the crowd more, but…
Shit, maybe Jon was right. Maybe Jon was better for the band. Not musically. Jace knew he was a better bass player than Jon, but as an entertainer, Jon had the more outgoing personality. Jon engaged the crowd and had a good time onstage. Maybe that's what really mattered to the fans. Maybe the music wasn't so important after all.
Jon grinned. "That shut you up, didn't it? Now get the fuck out of my way. I need to get laid. And my chicks won't have to get themselves off, unlike yours." He glanced at Aggie, who was still naked. "Aggie, if you need to get boned, my pants are always open."
Jace didn't really gauge the punch. His training, his boxing instincts, had total control. He didn't even feel his fist connect. Jon crumpled to the ground. Jace took less satisfaction from knocking him out than he thought. His right arm and shoulder protested the force he'd put behind the punch, but even that pain didn't make him feel better.
"I told him never to disrespect my woman again," Jace muttered, before swinging himself up into the upper curtained bunk to rest like he was supposed to. The fastest way to get rid of Jon was to get better. Enjoying Aggie and getting into fistfights wasn't exactly conducive to healing.
***
Aggie tripped over Jon's prone body and stepped on the bottom bunk to peer at Jace, who was "resting" on the top bunk. He was breathing so hard, she feared he would hyperventilate. "You okay?"
He plumped his pillow, but didn't turn to look at her. "Why do you keep asking me that? I'm fine. I just need sleep."
She rubbed his lower back, feeling the tension in his body. She'd just worked some of that out of him and then… Jon appeared.
"If you're hungry, I could make you some eggs or something."
"Maybe later."
She planted a kiss on the nape of his neck and climbed down to the floor.
Two of the girls Jon had brought on the bus had fled. The other two were bent over Jon, trying to revive him.
"How old are you two?" Aggie asked.
"Eighteen," they gushed in unison.
"Yeah, and I'm a black man with giant, hairy balls." Their eyes drifted down her naked body. To check for giant, hairy balls, she supposed. "I think you two should go. I'll take care of him." Aggie took each girl by the arm and led them to the exit.
"Don't make us go. We want to meet Trey."
"Trey? Then why are you here with Jon?"
"He was the only one interested."
Aggie grinned. "I see. That makes more sense. Maybe if you wait outside the bus for a while, Trey will show up and give you an autograph or something." She hated to put Trey on the spot, but she didn't want the guys to get in trouble for having underage girls on the bus, even if the pervert who'd planned to abuse them was out cold on the floor.
"That's probably for the best." The girl glanced down the aisle at Jon, who was still lying unmoving on the floor. She giggled. "Jace really knocked him out."
"You know who Jace is?"
"Of course I know who Jace is. He's the best bassist on the planet. I'm so sorry I didn't get to see him onstage. He's such a doll. So shy and cute. And cuuuute. And oh m' God cute, eh." She grinned and hugged herself. "Sed said he was sick, so Jon was filling in."
Aggie averted her gaze. "Something like that."
"Tell Jace I hope he gets over his explosive diarrhea quickly."
Aggie's eyes widened, and then she burst out laughing. "Is that what Sed told everyone?"
"Was he teasing us?"
Aggie wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "Yeah, Sed was teasing you. Jace's right arm is injured, but I'm sure he will be back onstage in no time."
The girl gave Jon one last disappointed look and then hopped down the bus steps.
Eric paused outside the door, looking the young girl over with confusion. "I thought you were with Jon tonight."
"Jon isn't with anyone tonight," Aggie said. "Except the floor."
"Jace knocked him out cold," the girl added and then giggled.
"No shit?" Eric climbed the steps and stood at the end of the aisle. "Is he still breathing?" He wrapped an arm around Aggie, his hand skimming over the bare skin of her hip. Aggie shrugged out of his grasp.
"I didn't check," Aggie admitted. She honestly didn't much care.
"And where's Jace?"
"He's resting in his bunk. I wouldn't bother him. He's a teensy bit cranky."
Eric moved down the corridor and worked at reviving Jon. Aggie slipped past them to find some clothes. When she returned, she paused to watch Eric slap Jon's cheeks.
"Fuck!" Jon complained as he concentrated on opening his eyes.
"I told you not to mess with Jace," Eric said.
" You mess with Jace."
"That's different. He likes me. He hates your fucking guts."
Jon rubbed his bruised jaw. "That's obvious. Geez, I can't even joke around with him."
"You weren't joking around with him." Aggie crossed her arms over her chest. "You were being an asshole, and he called you on it."
"Whatever." Jon took Eric's offered hand and pulled himself to his feet. He glanced around the bus. "Where'd my girls go?"
"Hopefully back to their parents. I think it's past their bedtime," Aggie said.
Jon's eyes narrowed. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"They couldn't have been much over sixteen."
"So?"
Aggie wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Pig."
"Cow."
"Will you all shut the fuck up?" Jace bellowed. "I'm trying to sleep."
"You might as well take the bedroom," Jon grumbled. "You completely messed up my plans for the evening."
Jace hopped out of his bunk and headed to the back bedroom.
"You messed up my plans for the evening as well, little man," Eric said.
Jace glanced over his shoulder at Eric. "You didn't really want to watch him violate four young girls."
Eric grinned. "Let me watch you do Aggie next time, and I'll forgive you."
"I don't think you'll be able to handle it."
Aggie scratched her head. What were these guys talking about?
"Try me," Eric challenged.
"That's up to Aggie," Jace said and entered the bedroom. He removed his clothes and climbed into bed.
Eric clasped his hands together in front of his chest. "Please let me watch, Aggie. I'll stay out of the way."
"Watch? Watch what?"
He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Watch you and Jace have sex, what else?"
"He's in no condition for sex tonight," she said.
Eric's breath caught. "You didn't say no."
"I didn't say yes either." Something about the hungry look in Eric's bright blue eyes had Aggie's juices flowing again.