When Jessica closed the door behind her, Sed moved his arm from his face and stared up at the ceiling, trying to get his emotions under control. It was hard enough to keep his thoughts off the woman when she was hundreds, sometimes thousands, of miles away. But now? With her this close? How would he survive? And how could Myrna do this to him? He'd thought she understood how hard this was for him. She probably thought she was doing him a favor.
The door opened and Sed lifted his head from the pillow for one happy millisecond thinking Jessica had returned.
Eric peeked in. "Are you finished?"
"Unfortunately." If he'd known she'd be gone in a heartbeat, he would have made it last longer. Sed peeled the condom from his dick and disposed of it. He rolled off the mattress and slid into a pair of gym shorts.
"You can join us, Sed," said one of the three girls he'd brought on the bus.
"No, thanks." He pushed past the girl and into the hall.
She shrugged and grabbed Eric by the shirt, tugging him into the bedroom.
"Are you okay, dude?" Eric asked Sed with genuine concern in his vivid blue eyes.
"Yeah, I'm gonna catch a nap."
Eric's brow furrowed. "The other two girls headed for the pigsty bus with the roadies." His girl was yanking on his arm now, but he held on to the doorframe. "I think Trey's partying over there and Dare will probably show up later."
It would be nice to hang out with Dare; Sed hadn't seen him in a while, but he shook his head. The last thing he felt like doing was socializing. "I'm tired. You have fun."
Eric released the doorframe and let the girl pull him inside the bedroom. He kicked the door shut.
Sed climbed into the bottom bunk next to the bathroom and pulled the curtain closed. He punched his pillow a few times, settled into a comfortable position and closed his eyes. His mind was too full to sleep, but at least he could hide reasonably well in the curtained bunk.
Soft crying sounds came from the other side of the thin wall near his head. Someone sniffed their nose. Toilet paper unrolled. A nose blown delicately. Who was crying in the bathroom? Not one of the groupies. Eric had said they'd gone to the other bus.
Jessica?
His heart stuttered.
Maybe she did care about him.
But she'd jetted from the bed the instant he'd tried to be tender with her. Was she so disgusted with their lovemaking that she was in tears? What else could it be?
Sed slid out of the bunk and knocked on the bathroom door.
"Oc-occupied," Jessica called.
"Are you crying?"
She hesitated. "Of course not."
He leaned his forearm against the doorframe, his hand clenched into a fist. "Are you almost finished? I need to use the facilities."
"Yeah, just a minute."
Water splashed into the tiny sink. He heard her sniff her nose again, and then she slid the door open. She had her head ducked down as she tried to brush past him. He poked her in the ribs and she glared up at him. Just as he'd suspected. Her eyes and nose were red and puffy.
"You were so crying."
"Just leave me alone, Sed. You're the last person on Earth I want to see right now."
She was the only person on Earth he wanted to see. Ever.
He let her pass and entered the bathroom, closing the door quietly. He didn't really need to use the bathroom. He'd just wanted to be near her. Even if she did spout her hatred at him. Hatred was better than nothing. Hatred he could deal with. He couldn't deal with nothing. He'd tried to deal with nothing for two years. It never went away. Just sat there inside his chest as a big empty hole.
Sed flushed the unused toilet and washed his hands. He opened the door and stood in the doorway. Jessica's shoulder dominated his attention as she sat at the dining room table booting up Myrna's laptop. He needed an excuse to be in the dining area. Any excuse. His stomach rumbled on cue.
He found some shrimp scampi and pasta primavera in the refrigerator. Leftovers from the feast Myrna had made for Trey the same day she'd agreed to marry Brian. Had it really only been three days ago?
Sed glanced over his shoulder and caught Jessica staring at his naked back reflectively.
When her eyes met his, she jerked and rapidly keyed several numbers into her spreadsheet.
"Are you hungry?"
"A little," she admitted quietly.
When he placed a plate of warmed-over food on the table beside the computer, she glanced up from her work and smiled. His heart skipped a beat.
"Thanks," she murmured.
Her gaze dropped to his bare chest. Her tongue darted out between her lips. She shook her head slightly and then focused her attention on her food.
"This smells awesome," she said. "Did you make it?"
"If by make it, you mean heat it up, yeah. But Myrna cooked it. She has a soft spot for Trey's stomach." He chuckled. "All our stomachs benefit from that helpless puppy look of his."
She laughed. "I don't think there's a woman on Earth who can say no to that look."
"Quite a few men can't say no to it either."
She smiled. A genuine smile that softened her features and lit her eyes. Sed's breath caught. God, he'd missed that smile. And those lips. Against his.
"Is Trey still batting for both teams?" she asked.
"Unless something's changed since yesterday."
He dug a couple of forks out of a drawer, handed one to Jessica, and settled into the booth across from her with his plate.
She took a cautious bite. "Delicious!" Jessica slurped noodles into her mouth and shoveled in several shrimp. She gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up.
He chuckled. "Are you hungry?" Typically, she was the slowest eater on the planet. Or she used to be. Maybe she'd changed. The idea unsettled him.
"I forgot to eat today."
"How do you forget to eat?"
"Between getting fired, evicted, cussed out by a cop, and then hunting you down, it sort of slipped my mind. Which reminds me." She heaved her massive purse from the table and pulled out a familiar stack of cash. "I don't want this."
When he didn't accept the money, she dropped it on the table.
"You'd rather be evicted than take money from me?"
"Yes."
He would never understand her. Never. It wasn't as if he couldn't afford to take care of her. He wanted to do it. It gave him satisfaction to provide for the people important to him, but she'd never allow him that simple pleasure. The things he gave her—his ring, his money, his heart—obviously weren't good enough for her.
As soon as the cash was out of her possession, the tension left her expression and she sat up straighter. She took a deep breath and said, "Myrna said I should tell you that I felt insulted by your gift."
She met his eyes briefly, her cheeks pink.
"Insulted?" He tugged on his earlobe. "Why would it insult you? I was just trying to help. It's not a big deal."
"It's a big deal to me. I want to make it on my own. I need that."
"But why struggle with money? I can give—"
She lifted her palm in his direction. "I didn't bring it up to start an argument. I don't want your money. End of story. I'm doing fine without your help."
And that bothered him. Made him feel less of a man. Especially when she rubbed it in his face like that. "Well, I'm sorry I got you fired, then," he lied.
She shrugged. "I hated that job anyway."
His heart swelled and he smiled broadly.
"What are you smiling about?" she asked, pointing at him with her fork.
"Nothing." His smile widened further.
She grinned. "Your dimples are showing, Sedric."
He flushed.
"And you're blushing."
He scowled. "I'm not."
"Don't stop. It's adorable."
He lifted an eyebrow at her. "Sedric Lionheart is not adorable."
"But you are. Adorable, I mean. When your dimples show and you blush."
It was impossible not to grin and blush when she said things like that. While he was basking in her compliment, she stole a piece of shrimp from his plate.
"Are you trying to distract me so you can steal my food?"
"Maybe." She stole another shrimp and popped it into her mouth.
"Hey."
She laughed and poked another shrimp with her fork. He caught her fork with his before she could lift her prize to her open mouth. Was she flirting with him? And teasing him? Hadn't she just told him she didn't want to have anything to do with him? He would never understand her. He didn't know why he bothered trying.
"If you want my food, you should ask," he said.
"Can I have one of your shrimp?" She looked into his eyes expectantly. He couldn't refuse her anything when she looked at him like that.
He picked up one of his few remaining shrimp and offered it to her. She leaned across the table and drew his fingers into her mouth. When her tongue brushed his fingertips, his dick stirred in his shorts, ready and willing to take on anything Jessica had in mind. When it came to this woman, that part of his anatomy didn't give a flying fuck what was going on in his head or his heart.
Jessica leaned back and chewed with her eyes closed in bliss.
And that would be why. The woman was too damned sexy for her own good.
"It's soooo good," she murmured.
Sed's mouth went dry.
Her bare foot brushed his under the table. His toes curled. He expected her to move away immediately, but instead she rubbed her big toe against his instep. His stomach clenched with need. Cock throbbed incessantly. Did she realize what she was doing to him?
"Are you going to finish that?" she asked.
He shoved his plate in her direction. "I need a drink." And a cold, cold shower. He slid out of the booth and opened the refrigerator. Why had Myrna insisted they move all the beer to the other bus? He didn't feel like going over there and getting one, so he reached for a bottle of water. When a hand settled against the small of his back, he froze.
"Is there anything good to drink in there?" Jessica asked, peeking around his body.
The fruity scent of her shampoo assailed him and his eyes drifted closed. What had she asked him?
Oh yeah. Drink.
"All the alcohol's on the other bus."
Jessica reached in the refrigerator and retrieved a bottle of orange juice. She pressed the container against his belly and he danced sideways. "Cold!"
She laughed and tried to move around him, but he caught her around the waist and turned her to face him. She opened her bottle of juice and took a long drink, looking unconcerned by his nearness.
"What is this you're doing?"
She gazed up at him with those remarkable jade-green eyes of hers. "What do you mean?"
"This. This flirting."
"Do you want me to stop?"
"That depends on its purpose. If you're doing it to mess with my head, then yes, stop, please, it's torture. But if you're trying to work me into a frenzy so I can't keep my hands off you—"
"The second one."
His heart stuttered.
She took another sip of her juice. "Drink?" she offered, tipping the bottle toward him.
Juice sloshed out of the bottle and splashed against his chest. It trickled down the center of his belly and disappeared into the waistband of his shorts. "Whoops." She leaned forward and licked the juice from his skin, working her way down his body.
He wished his brain worked better when his dick was hard. What had turned her from cold to hot in less than half an hour?
"I thought you said you hated me," he said.
She stood straight again and leaned closer, her hand pressing against the tent in his shorts. He drew a sharp breath through his teeth.
"I still hate you," she said. "That doesn't seem to stop me from wanting you, though."
"So, this is just about—"
"Sex, Sedric. Nothing more."
Could he have a purely sexual relationship with Jessica? He had no problem having that kind of relationships with dozens of other women, so why was he hesitating with her? Because she was different.
She could hurt him.
She did hurt him.
Just looking at her hurt. When he couldn't see her, it hurt. When he thought about her, it hurt. When he tried not to think about her, it hurt. But which hurt more, being with her or being without her?
The entire time his internal battle raged, she just stared up at him, waiting for him to make the next move. His hand trembled as he lifted it to cup her jaw. His thumb brushed across her lips. Should he kiss her? She wouldn't realize that he hadn't kissed another woman since he'd fallen in love with her. Maybe his body had cheated, but his heart never had.
Her eyes drifted closed as he lowered his head. He hesitated, a hair's breadth between their lips. Something told him he'd regret this tomorrow, but now seemed more important. He traced the contour of her lush upper lip with his tongue. She sighed, trembling, as her lips parted. His tongue probed deeper, running along the ridge of her teeth, the roof of her mouth, and then stroked the surface of her tongue. She groaned and squeezed his hard-on through his shorts.
He shuddered and kissed her deeply, a ripple of delight streaking down his spine. He drew the tang of orange juice from her mouth into his, kissing her until her unique flavor greeted his tongue. That's what he wanted. Her taste. God, he'd missed it so much. He couldn't get enough. She groaned into his mouth.
The bottle of orange juice slipped from her hand. It hit the floor with a thunk and tipped onto its side, its contents glugging out and spreading across the linoleum.
Jessica pulled away. "Oh crap."
She bent to retrieve the half-empty bottle, put it on the table, and reached for a dish towel. He spooned up against her back, his hand running up her belly under her shirt.
"Leave it."
"It will just take me a second to clean it up."
"I'll go kick Eric out of the bedroom."
She shook her head. "That's not necessary. Go grab a blanket and spread it over the sofa. I've got something for you."
There wasn't much privacy in the living room area. Someone could enter the bus at any moment, but maybe that's what she wanted. Fine with him.
While Jessica cleaned up her mess, Sed yanked the blankets from his bunk and spread them over the sofa.
"Are you sure you don't want me to kick Eric out of the bedroom?" Sed asked.
"I'm sure."
She approached him slowly, looking deeply into his eyes. When she paused before him, he reached for her, but she placed a hand on his chest and shook her head at him. "No touching the dancer."
"Huh?"
She pushed his shorts down over his hips, drawing them down his legs as she squatted in front of him. He lifted one foot and then the other. She tossed his shorts aside, leaving him completely naked. She ran her hands up his thighs, hips, belly, and chest as she stood again. Craving her attention, his cock twitched.
"Have a seat," she said breathlessly.
He sat on the sofa and reached to pull her down to join him.
She took a step backward. "No touching the dancer."
"Jess—"
"Shh."
He dropped his hands and watched her walk over to the stereo system. After some fumbling, she turned it on and a song from Sinners' latest CD came from the speakers.
"This is my favorite band." Jessica smiled at him over her shoulder. "The lead singer is gorgeous. Listen to that voice. Mmmmm." She rolled her eyes with undisguised delight.
"I hear he's hung like a horse."
Jessica's gaze dropped to his jutting cock and she licked her lips. "Horses are jealous."
He laughed.
His smile faded when her hips started to sway to the music.
She ran her hands over the luscious curve of her ass and bent forward, her long strawberry blonde hair brushing the floor in front of her. She rocked her hips back and forth, and though she was still clothed, he couldn't draw his attention from the sweet spot between her thighs. She stood, flipping her glorious hair over her back as she ground her hips and squatted down to the floor before standing again. She turned to face him, still gyrating her hips. Her hands moved to the fly of her pants.
She unfastened the button and inched the zipper down, dancing for him seductively. Her hands ran up her sides, revealing the skin of her flat belly as she eased her shirt upward.
"Take it off," he murmured.
"Take what off?"
"I want to see your tits."
She pushed her shirt higher, teasing him with the vision of the under curves of her full breasts. She turned around, revealing an expanse of her sexy lower back, and peeled her shirt off over her head. He loved the way her thick, wavy hair brushed over the skin of her back as she continued to sway her hips. He imagined his fingers tangled in those silky, flowing locks, pulling her head back so he could suck on her collarbone, her throat, her jaw, her ear, her…
She tossed her shirt at him. It hit him in the chest and slid down to cover his lap. She turned to face him, her hands cupping her naked breasts. Her pink nipples protruded from between her fingers. He wanted to draw his tongue over them. Make them hard like he was hard. Draw shudders from her body. Deep sighs from her throat.
She danced closer. He reached for her and she paused.
"No touching the dancer."
"This is torture, Jessica."
She pouted. "I thought you'd like it."
"I do like it. I like it too much. It's driving me crazy."
She smiled. "I'm not finished yet."
She pulled her shirt from his lap. When the fabric brushed over his most sensitive flesh, he drew a sharp breath through his teeth. She stood on the sofa, one foot on either side of his hips and squatted in front of him so his face was between her breasts. He turned his head and tugged her nipple into his mouth, sucking it rapidly to a hardened point. She gasped and jerked away.
"No touching the—"
"You didn't say anything about sucking on the dancer," he murmured, and tugged her nipple back into his mouth. She cupped his face and shifted his mouth to her other breast.
"Why can't you behave?" she whispered, shuddering as his tongue flicked over her pebbled flesh.
He leaned back and looked up at her. "Do you want me to behave?"
She chuckled. "Not really."
She pulled away and turned to face the other direction, rubbing her ass and the rough fabric of her jeans over his engorged cock. He grabbed her hips, but she slapped his hands away and moved off the couch again.
While she danced in front of him, she stroked her nipples in hypnotic circles, making them even more erect.
Sed gripped the blanket to keep himself from jumping her. God, he wanted her. Desperately. Had never wanted anything more.
She slid one hand down her belly and into the open fly of her pants. Her hand disappeared into her jeans and her head fell back in ecstasy. She stroked herself for a moment, pushed her hand deeper, groaned and then pulled her hand from her pants. She slid her slick fingers into her mouth.
Sed grabbed his dick. He couldn't take much more of this.
Jessica pushed her pants down her hips, revealing the narrow strip of pubic hair that directed his attention to the juncture of her thighs. She turned, facing the opposite wall, and bent forward as she slid her jeans down her legs.
He groaned as she revealed the secrets between her thighs. She kicked her jeans aside and parted the swollen flesh between her thighs.
"I'm wet for you, Sed. Can you see it?"
"Yeah, I see it. I want to taste it."
A finger disappeared inside her velvety flesh. She plunged it into her body once, twice, and then pulled it free. His entire body jerked.
She moved toward him and slid her finger to his mouth. A hint of her taste teased his tongue.
"How's that?" She watched him with her lips parted as he sucked at her finger.
"Not nearly enough."
She climbed onto the couch with him again, and put a foot on the back of the sofa near his shoulder. The scent of her excitement drove him crazy. He had to thrust into her. Had to. He would die if he didn't possess her soon.
Jessica gyrated her hips in his face, and he grabbed her ass, holding her so he could lap at her juices hungrily. Her hips stilled. Panting, she held onto his head, her fingertips digging into his scalp. Her thighs began to tremble.
He smiled and leaned back. "Are you finished dancing?"
She glanced down at him. "Uh, sorry. No, not yet. Do you want to wear a condom?"
She was giving him an option? "Are you still on the pill?"
"Yeah. Have you been safe?"
"Always. You?"
"Yes."
"Then, no, I don't want to wear one."
She grinned. "Good."
She trusted him? She had every reason to—he'd never lie about something that important—but did her trust mean that she… Even though she said that she hated him, maybe she still… cared about him. Oh God, please, let that be what her trust meant.
Sed released his hold on Jessica and she struggled to regain her balance. She turned her back on him again, returning to her lap dance, but this time, instead of her rough jeans, her slick, warm slit rubbed against his dick. She reached between her thighs and directed the head of his cock inside her.
Just the head.
"Ahh," he gasped, fighting the urge to thrust up into her. She wasn't done teasing him yet, and he was very much enjoying her attempts to drive him entirely insane. It had been so long since he'd had any sexual contact without a condom, he forgot how good a woman felt without one. And it was Jessica's warm flesh teasing him. Jessica.
She continued to rub up against him, sometimes he dipped a scant inch inside her moist heat, sometimes she squeezed his punished shaft between the cheeks of her ass, but she never took him deep inside. Never gave him what he craved.
The CD ended with a click. She climbed from his lap and turned to face him. Straddling his hips, she leaned close, her breath tickling his ear. Her hair brushed his chest and his flesh quivered in delight.
"I want you inside me," she whispered into his ear. "Deep, deep inside me."
"Yes," he gasped.
"Do you want me, Sed?"
"God, yes."
"Only me? No one else?"
"Yes, only you." Did anyone else exist?
She grabbed his chin roughly and stared into his eyes. "I still hate you."
His chest constricted. Hope withered. "I know," he panted, pressure building behind his eyes as he fought his stupid emotions.
"And knowing that, you still want me?"
He nodded. God help him. "Yes, I still want you."
She smiled coldly and he wondered where his sweet, tender Jessica had gone. "Then fill me, Sed. Take what you want."
He groaned in torment. He grabbed his dick and rubbed at her clit with his free hand as he guided himself into her little piece of heaven. Oh, she was wet. Slick. Hot. His head fell back against the back of the sofa as she sank down, taking him deep at last. Submerging him within her.
"Jessica," he gasped. "Ah God, you feel so good."
"Touch the dancer as much as you want now."
He squeezed her breasts and then lowered both hands to hold her ass as she rode him with an increasing tempo.
"Best pole dance I've ever had," he whispered.
She looked down at him. "That was a lap dance, silly."
"Feels like you're dancing up and down my pole to me."
She laughed. "It's a two-fer."
He trailed his fingers up her spine lightly and she shuddered. "You're so beautiful." I love you with everything that I am. But he couldn't tell her that. She hated him. Hated him, but still fucked him like no one else could. This would be enough.
For now.
Maybe someday she'd let him touch her heart again. He ran two fingers down her breastbone. In here. Her heart thudded against his fingertips, reminding him that she was here. In the flesh. This wasn't a dream. His woman. His heart. Was back. He'd never let her go again.
She squeezed him within her body and his breath caught. Thoughts scattered.
She lowered her head and kissed him deeply as she continued to rise and fall. As her excitement built, she began to vocalize her pleasure into his mouth. A spasm gripped her body as an orgasm caught her. She pulled her mouth from his and cried out, her head tilting back in ecstasy.
Faster now as she sought a second release. Still multi-orgasmic. Still perfect. Still the only woman who could satisfy him.
He watched her, loving how she knew exactly how to get off on him. He could just lean back and enjoy it. Let her take him to heights he never experienced with any other woman. Sed shifted his hips slightly so her clit ground against his pubic bone with each downward thrust.
"Yeah, Sed," she whispered, gyrating her hips as she rode him now, grinding herself against him.
She moved faster. Faster. Her body convulsed, and she shuddered against him. "Sed, oh God. Sed!"
She paused for several seconds to catch her breath and then started rising and falling over him again. He let his head fall against the back of the sofa and closed his eyes, trying to think of something other than her perfect pussy massaging him in warm, velvety bliss. He couldn't think at all though. Could only feel. Hear. Smell. He gasped each time their bodies came together, every molecule of his body aware of her. Immersed in her.
She tightened her vaginal muscles around him again. She knew exactly how to bring him quickly to his peak. But he didn't want it to end. Not yet. Not yet, Jessica. Make it last.
She squeezed him tighter.
He groaned. Okay, yes, now. "Jess. Jess? I can't hold back if you do that."
She kissed his neck, her nose brushing against his ear. "Come with me, baby. I'm getting close again. Look at me. You'll know when."
He lifted his head and opened his eyes. The added stimulation of watching her face drove him closer to the edge. It really was Jessica. He wasn't imagining her. She was here. And he was inside her. Inside her. Inside.
She stared into his eyes as she continued to ride him.
She bit her lip, her breath hitching. Her fingers, resting on his shoulders, curled painfully into his flesh. Her head tilted back as she moved faster. Faster. Squeezing him inside. Grinding against him. Squeezing.
Ah God, he couldn't hold on any longer. The urgency had built beyond his limit.
Hurry, Jessica, hurry.
Her cries grew louder and higher pitched as she worked them both to release. Squeezing him inside, squeezing, relaxing. Squeezing, squeezing.
He had to come. Can't… Can't hold back. Jess. Jess.
She stopped moving as her hips buckled. "Now, Sed. Now."
He lifted his hips from the sofa, driving into her, and let go. Exploded. Deep spasms gripped the base of his cock. His seed spurted into her body. And she took it. Took his cum. Inside her. Ah God, he was inside her. Part of her.
His Jessica. His.
They shuddered and strained against each other. Gasping. Crying out. Whimpering. When their bodies stopped quaking, she collapsed against his chest.
Jessica wrapped her arms around his neck and snuggled against him, still shuddering sporadically. His arms circled her back as he drew her nearer.
A smattering of applause erupted in the dining area. "That was beautiful, guys. Really," Eric said.
Sed grabbed the edges of the blanket beneath him and wrapped them around Jessica's back. He glared at Eric, who sat at the dining table eating what was left of Trey's cherry pie with his fingers. "Get the fuck out of here."
Jessica's entire body shook uncontrollably against him. Concerned, Sed leaned back to look at her face and found her laughing.
"He's right. That was beautiful. You are one hell of a good lay, Mister Lionheart."
She kissed him and lifted her hips to separate their bodies. Sed grunted in protest. He loved being buried in her warmth and would have stayed there forever if she'd allow it. She settled sideways on his lap and leaned against his chest, letting him hold her. She didn't rush away like the last time. Let him hold her. Let him. He kissed her temple and snuggled her close. How had he lived a single day without her? She was as essential to his life as air.
"So I guess this means you two are back together," Eric said.
"Yeah," Sed murmured, not caring that his dimples were showing as he grinned.
"No," Jessica corrected.
He glanced down at her. "No?"
"Just sex, Sed."
His arms tightened around her. "Yeah, that's what I meant. Just sex."
He'd take anything she was willing to give. His heart would just have to get used to that sinking ache inside until he could win her back.