The bus lurched to a sudden halt, sending empty beer cans scuttling over Myrna's sandals. Something thick and gooey spilled from one of the cans and trickled between her toes. She retched and jumped from the bench, slipping with her first step and sticking to the floor on her second. She'd had enough! She stomped over to where the guys sat perched on a pile of dirty clothes playing a video game in the living area. There was a sofa under that mountain of filth somewhere.
Myrna planted her fists on her hips and glanced from one band member to the next. "All right, guys. Some things need to change around here."
Four pairs of eyes turned toward Brian. Control your chick , they seemed to say.
She pointed to her foot. "Would someone like to tell me what just dripped out of a beer can onto my foot?"
"A loogie?" Trey guessed.
"As in phlegm?" Myra sputtered. "Oh. My. God."
Brian tossed her a dirty shirt, which smelled like ass, and she used it to wipe the slimy mess off her foot. It wouldn't surprise her to see one of the guys wearing that very shirt the next day.
"This place is disgusting," she said. "The five of you are going to clean this bus from top to bottom and it's going to stay clean or I'm going to smother every last one of you in your sleep." She kicked a beer can out of her path.
"Myr—" Sed began.
She lifted her hand to silence him. "We're going to start with that disgusting refrigerator. All that moldy takeout food has to go. And then I'm going shopping for some real food. I am sick of fast food."
At the mention of food, the guys' expressions shifted from abject horror to mild interest.
"Real food?" Jace whispered, as if they were speaking a foreign language he'd never heard.
"Yeah, real food. Meat, vegetables, pasta, fruit, liquid milk. I don't mind cooking for all of you, and the roadies too, but you guys will clean this bus and keep it clean. I can't live like this anymore."
"Yes, mommy," Eric said. "Will you spank my tushie if I'm a bad boy?"
He stood, turned around, and presented his butt to her.
"I'll only spank your tushie,if you're a good boy, Eric Sticks," she said, "which I think is pretty much never."
Eric's lower lip protruded in an exaggerated pout.
She pulled a black garbage bag out of a drawer and tossed it at Jace. He caught it, blinking hard as he always did when something surprised him.
"Everything goes," she said.
"Except the beer," Sed said.
"Put your beer on the other bus. Keep your party pigsty over there. Over here, we'll have a peaceful, clean home."
"This is bullshit," Sed said. He looked at Brian. "Dude…"
"I think it's a good idea," Brian said.
"Me, too," said Trey. "Will you spank me if I'm good, Myrna?"
She smiled at him. "You're always good, Trey."
Everyone laughed at her false statement, except Jace. Jace was already braving the refrigerator. Without a hazmat suit. He tossed things in the garbage bag without even looking at them. Sed rescued the beer, setting bottles and cans all along the stained and cluttered counter.
Myrna touched Sed's arm. "I hope you don't mind me bossing your boys around."
He grinned crookedly, showing a dimple. She'd forgotten he had dimples. He didn't smile that broadly often. "They do miss their mommies sometimes. I'd love a home cooked meal, to be honest."
"Then you get to pick the first one. Assuming I can cook it."
"Pork chops," he said.
"And mashed potatoes!" Trey called, helping Jace empty the refrigerator. He opened the freezer, cringed and closed it again.
"Asparagus?" Eric asked hopefully.
"Yeah, asparagus sounds excellent," Sed agreed.
"That I can do. I'm going shopping. Who wants to come?"
All five men lined up in front of her. She grinned, deciding they probably just wanted to get out of cleaning. "My car is a coupe, guys. I only have room for one. The rest of you stay here and clean out that refrigerator. Come on, Brian."
"Why does Brian automatically get to go?" Eric complained.
"I'm her boyfriend. Duh."
"We can take my bike," Jace offered. "I'll follow."
"I'll ride with you," Trey said to Jace.
"And Myrna can sit on my lap in the car." Eric snagged her around the waist and tugged her against his side. "I won't mind."
"I'm not fuckin' staying here by myself." Sed slammed the refrigerator door.
The five of them stared at her like puppies at a pound desperate to be adopted. Pick me. Pick me!
Like she could say no to any of them. "Fine. We'll find a way to fit, but when we get back, you're cleaning. All of you." Her eyes drifted over her companions. They'd stand out more than usual in this podunk town. "Do you think you all need disguises? Otherwise we'll have to fight off fans."
"We're in The-Middle-of-Nowhere, Wyoming," Trey said.
"This town has like, twelve hundred people," Eric said. "And I think most of them live in the old folks' home."
"What? You don't think the elderly listen to metal?" Myrna asked.
"We'll take a chance," Trey said.
Trey settled on the back of Jace's motorcycle. The rest of the guys crammed themselves into Myrna's little Thunderbird.
With Brian driving, Eric sitting in the middle, and Sed on the passenger side, Myrna was forced to sit partially on Sed and Eric's laps. She spent most of the short drive moving Eric's hands from inappropriate locations. Sed thumped him upside the head on occasion. "Will you leave her alone?"
"I hope we don't get pulled over," Myrna said. "We look like a group of thugs on our way to rob a bank."
Brian laughed. "Yeah. Except our getaway car is frickin' pink and worth more than Sed's dental work."
Sed grinned like a shark to show off his perfect teeth.
They found a family-owned grocery store near the edge of town. Brian pulled into the parking lot and Jace's bike rumbled in after them.
Eric grabbed Myrna in a tight embrace on his lap, while Sed unfolded his 6 foot 4 frame from the little car. Brian climbed from the driver's seat and offered a hand to Myrna to help her out of the car.
"We're good, thanks," Eric said, squeezing her closer. "See you when you get back."
Myrna slid a hand up Eric's neck into his black hair. He had the craziest haircut she'd ever seen. It was long on one side and down the back, yet shaved to stubble on the other side. A ridge of spikes along the top separated the stubble from the long strands. The finger-thick lock that curled around his throat changed color on occasion. Today it was a deep blue. A week ago, it had been crimson red. His hair suited him, she supposed, but he should sue his hairstylist. As her fingers intertwined in the long strands at the nape of his neck, he glanced down at her, his eyes wide in surprise.
"Yeah, you guys go on ahead," she said, staring up into Eric's pale blue eyes and running her tongue over her lips. "Eric and I are going to stay in the car and make out."
His grip on her slackened as he lowered his head to-
"Psyche!" She shoved him away, before squirming out of his lap.
"Dude," Eric complained. "That was so not cool."
"Yeah," Brian agreed. He helped her to her feet and wrapped an arm around her back. "No one says 'psyche' anymore."
"Well, I'm old," Myrna said. "I can't help my lack of cool."
As soon as they entered the store, a thin, nervous-looking man started following them through the aisles. Myrna supposed rock stars looked like shoplifters. She smiled reassuringly at the little man and he turned to fiddle with the stock on the shelves.
Eric moved to stand next to the store clerk. He stroked his chin as he examined the condiments. "Brian's woman thinks we need to eat better," he said to the guy. "That attractive, normal-looking babe over there. See her?"
The manager glanced at Myrna. He nodded slightly and returned to his unnecessary shelf tidying.
"Anyway," Eric continued. "I'm pretty sure she's going to make us eat salad. Do you like salad?"
"I guess."
Eric clapped him on the shoulder. The man flinched. "Great! I assume you're a salad dressing expert, since you keep rearranging these bottles. So, what dressing would you recommend to a bunch of derelicts like us?" He grabbed the man's nametag and leaned unnecessarily close to read it. "Kevin."
"Eric," Sed said. "Leave the guy alone."
"Why? I assumed Kevin wanted to offer some customer service to his customers. That's why you're following us around, right, Kevin ?"
The man brushed Eric's hand from his shoulder. "Raspberry Vinaigrette is good."
"Do we look like the kind of guys who'd eat Raspberry Vinaigrette salad dressing?" Eric asked.
Kevin glanced from one band member to the next. "Uh…"
Myrna grabbed Eric by the ear. "The answer to that question is: Shut up, Eric."
"Ow!" Eric protested.
"I like Raspberry Vinaigrette," Trey said. He put a bottle of dressing in the cart. "Do they make anything cherry-flavored?"
Kevin shook his head. "I don't think so."
Trey took his sucker out of his mouth and pointed it at him. "Well, they should."
"Cherry salad dressing? Disgusting," Brian said, his nose wrinkled. "Ranch is best."
Jace selected several bottles of creamy dressing and put them in the cart without a word.
Eric grabbed Myrna's wrist to pull her pinching fingers from his ear. "My point is, Kevin ," he said, "we don't need a babysitter. Thanks."
Sed was at the end of the aisle looking at spices. "Hey, Myrna, do you know how to make lemon-pepper chicken?"
"Sure do," she called to him. She pulled her arm from Eric's grip and went to help Sed pick out spices. The other guys followed her with Jace pushing the cart. Apparently, Jace had been grocery shopping before. Without any prompting, he added things to the cart that Myrna would have chosen herself.
"Get some jalapeños," Eric said to Jace, who'd just added a jar of dill pickles to the cart. "I'll make us some omelets."
"You'll make yourself an omelet," Brian said. "Your cooking is worse than Trey's."
"Is it my fault you don't like cherries?" Trey said.
"No one likes cherries in stir fry."
"I do."
Myrna rubbed Trey's head, messing up his hair. "I'll bake you a cherry pie, sweetie. Would you like that?"
He hugged her against his side and kissed her temple. "I love you. Brian, I love your woman."
Brian smiled slightly, but didn't look at Myrna when he said, "Don't we all?"
They didn't lose their tail as they wound through the aisles, but Kevin was a little less obvious about following them. He watched them from one aisle over.
The store had an excellent butcher who produced choice cuts of fresh meat. "We'll have to clean out the freezer when we get back," Myrna said. "I can't pass up this meat."
"The freezer is highly toxic," Trey said. "Can't we just throw out the whole refrigerator and get a new one?"
"Yeah, let's do that," Jace agreed. He was tossing T-bones into the cart as if they were having a buy-one-get-ten-free steak sale.
"Sheesh, Jace, are you hungry?" Myrna asked.
"There are fourteen of us."
"Good point. Get ground beef. I'll make chili."
"Do you really want to be trapped on a tour bus with a bunch of guys who've consumed large quantities of chili beans?" Brian asked.
Myrna laughed. "Another good point. Okay, I'll make lasagna instead. Tomorrow."
"Now you're talking." Brian kissed her temple. "I love Italian food."
"Make sure you get enough pork chops, Jace," Sed insisted. "I'll eat like three or seven of them."
They made a second trip through the store for things she'd need for lasagna. By the time they finished, two carts were full to the top.
"I'm not sure all of this will fit in my car," Myrna said. For a small car, the Thunderbird had a good-sized trunk, but their carts looked like they were stocking up to start their own mobile grocery store.
"We'll make it fit," Brian said. "Or load Eric up like a pack mule."
"Uh, no," Eric said.
Jace started unloading the cart onto the conveyer belt. Myrna had a hard time accepting what the groupies said about him. A sadomasochist? He was always such a sweetheart. Quiet. Shy. Gentle. If she hadn't seen what he kept in his suitcase with her own eyes, she'd never have believed it. He didn't even attempt to look like a natural blond. Platinum hair, dark beard stubble, dark brows. It was cute though. Myrna couldn't put her finger on why. With that baby face of his, he looked like the requisite tough guy of a boy band, not a member of a metal band.
Jace must have felt her stare, because he glanced up, his brown eyes inquisitive. "What?"
She shook her head. "Nothing." She handed him a package of Italian sausage. He placed it on the conveyer belt.
"God, I want a cigarette," Trey said, eyeing the locked case behind the counter. He fidgeted with the zipper on his sleeve repeatedly before cleaning out an entire display of cherry suckers and dumping them on the checkout stand.
Myrna squeezed his elbow in encouragement and moved around Jace to the cashier.
"Did you find everything you needed?" the young woman asked as she dragged products over the scanner.
"I think so." Myrna looked at the two cartfuls of groceries being unloaded by an assembly line of rock stars. She smiled to herself. "I hope so."
A blood-curdling scream emitted from the back of the growing line. Sed's body suddenly careened into Eric's. Brian steadied them.
"Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!" a high-pitched voice squealed from about the level of Sed's belly button. A young girl, no older than thirteen, had almost knocked Sed to the floor with her exuberance. "Oh Sed, I love you. I love you!"
"So much for the retirement community theory," Jace said as he continued to unload the cart.
Sed glanced at Eric with wide eyes. Eric shrugged.
Sed patted the girl's head uncomfortably. "Hello there. I think you have me confused with someone else."
"I'd know you anywhere," she insisted. "You're Sedric Lionheart. The lead singer of Sinners."
Sed winced. The rest of the people in line started craning their necks, trying to glimpse the rock stars in their midst.
Sed bent and whispered something in the girl's ear. Her face lit up and she nodded. She hugged him and returned to the back of the line, bouncing on the balls of her feet excitedly. Her entire body trembled from head to foot.
"What in the hell did you tell her?" Eric said under his breath. "She's a child, Sed. I hope you didn't—"
Sed punched him in the arm. Hard. "Have some faith in me, fuckhead."
Another line opened, and the very young fan girl rushed to the front of the second line, knocking an elderly lady sideways in her haste. The girl kept her eyes on Sed the entire time the cashier rang up her small purchase. She paid and then rushed out of the store. She stood in front of the glass doors peering in at them from outside.
"What did you say to her?" Brian asked.
"I just told her if she was quiet, I'd autograph my shirt for her outside the store. What kind of sick bastard do you think I am?"
"You don't want me to answer that," Eric said.
"Sticks, you're asking for a serious ass whippin'," Sed said.
Brian presented his stack of cash to pay and they pushed the carts of sacked groceries to the car. Sed's little shadow followed them, chattering excitedly. While the rest of them loaded the trunk, Sed removed his leather jacket and plain white T-shirt. He put his jacket back on and borrowed a pen from Myrna. He signed his shirt before handing it over to the girl. She lifted it to her nose and inhaled, her eyes rolling into the back of her head. Sed ran a hand over his shorn hair, looking very uncomfortable about the entire situation.
"Can I get the band's autographs, too?" the girl asked.
"Of course!" Sed said, taking the shirt back and passing it around until each band member had signed it.
The trunk was full to bursting with groceries, but they managed to get it shut on the third try. After returning to their vehicles, Brian drove out of the parking lot, with Jace following on his bike. The young fan waved good-bye to them, clutching Sed's shirt to her narrow chest.
"Fuck, what a disaster. I'm glad you guys signed the shirt, too. I didn't think of what that would look like when I told her that she could have it. What was I thinking?" Sed said. "I could just picture her daddy showing up outside the tour bus with a shotgun."
"It was completely innocent," Myrna said.
"Yeah, but if your thirteen-year-old daughter comes home with some man's shirt, you wouldn't think it was innocent. You'd want to shoot him in the back."
"I suppose that would look bad," Myrna agreed.
"I guess when you say you'd give your fans the shirt off your back, you aren't exaggerating," Brian said.
They laughed. Sed's body relaxed, though he kept checking the side mirror for signs of an angry daddy with a shotgun.
Brian pulled up beside the tour bus and put the car in park. "Last one out of the car has to do all the laundry."
"I don't do laundry," Sed grumbled. Before the words were out of his mouth, Brian had already leapt from the car and Eric scrambled out after him.
Sed grabbed Myrna around the waist and refused to release her. "I won't be the last one out of this car. I don't do laundry."
"Then get one of your groupies to do it for you. I'm not doing it."
He buried a hand in her hair and tugged her head back to stare down into her eyes. "I'll make it worth your while."
Myrna leaned against the door, which opened unexpectedly. She clung to Sed's bare chest with her fingertips to keep from tumbling to the asphalt on her head.
Brian's angry face appeared upside down above her. "What the fuck are you two doing?"
Sed's arms wrapped around Myrna's body. "What does it look like?" His lips brushed over her jaw. "Oh yeah, Myrna. Yeah. Don't stop now, baby."
"I can't believe this." Brian tore his gaze from Sed long enough to glare at Myrna. "I leave you two alone for ten seconds and you're already—"
"You think I'm cheating on you?" Myrna sputtered.
She crawled over Sed's massive body and out of the car, landing gracelessly on the ground at Brian's feet.
"You've got your hands all over his naked chest, all submissive in his arms and he's kissing you. What do you expect me to think?"
Myrna scrambled to her feet and shook her head at him. "I can't fucking believe this, Brian. You're just like my ex-husband."
When he reached for her, she shoved him aside and stormed away.
***
Still reeling from an eyeful he'd thought he'd never have to see again (Sed with his hands all over a woman he cared about), Brian watched Myrna stomp up the bus stairs. He couldn't believe she'd compared him to her psychotic ex-husband. Did she really think he was like that asshole?
Inside the bus Eric called, "Hey, Myrna, Jace said he'll clean the fridge all by himself. So you can get started cooking those pork chops. I rescued my special cinnamon and dill rub from the garbage." A loud crash of cookware followed. "Don't cry. You don't have to use it if you don't want to."
Brian started after Myrna, but Sed grabbed his arm. "Dude, learn to take a joke."
"A joke?"
"Yeah, I was just playing around. Teasing her. Myrna and I weren't doing anything. She's not like those other bimbos you called girlfriends. You can trust her."
"I did trust her. And then you… you were touching her, and looking at her, and your lips, and her hands, and… she wasn't even trying to stop you…" His eyes landed on Sed's bare chest. "Go put on a goddamned shirt, Sed!"
Brian took a deep breath. He knew he had overreacted, but he also knew what Sed was like. He turned good girls bad. But Myrna wasn't a girl. She was a woman. Somewhere inside, he knew she would never betray him with Sed. She wasn't like the others. It wasn't her he didn't trust. It was Sed. "Shit. I've got to go talk to her."
Brian found her in the living area with Jace and Eric, stuffing dirty clothes into a garbage bag. She had a streak of mascara under one eye. He hadn't meant to make her cry.
"Myrna, I didn't mean to accuse you—"
"Go help Trey unload the car, Brian. I don't want to talk about this right now." He touched her arm and she flinched away from him. "Don't even think about touching me."
"Sed told me there was nothing going on."
"So you'll believe Sed, but automatically think the worst of me?"
"No, I just… it looked like… Sed's done this to me so many times, and…" He rubbed his forehead. He couldn't concentrate. The thought of losing her ate the inside of his chest raw.
Eric grabbed Myrna and shoved her against Brian's chest. "Kiss and make up."
"I think he should squirm a little longer," Myrna said, but she didn't move away. Not even when Brian's arms crept up to circle her back. "He knows how much I hate being falsely accused of cheating."
"I never actually accused… But I shouldn't have even thought it. I'm sorry, okay?"
"Okay."
He breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay?"
"Yeah, I overreacted. A little."
Brian kissed her forehead and squeezed her tighter, inching her body toward the bedroom. "Can we go make up now?"
She laughed and hugged him. "We need to go get this laundry done."
"We could always make up on the washing machine at the laundromat."
She leaned back and looked up at him, adventure sparkling in her gorgeous, green-flecked eyes. "Yeah, we could."
God, he loved this woman. If Sed touched her again, he would kill him.