He was probably born with a golden spoon in his mouth, not used to people telling him no. Well, he's going to be in for a surprise tomorrow when I'm gone.
"Enough of James," I tell her. "No, I don't mind."
"And one more thing, I've some pictures on my desk at work. If you could use your feminine wiles or something to get them for me, I'd appreciate it."
I find it hard to sleep as I imagine he finding out about my plan and anticipating a knock on the apartment door any minute. There's no knock and eventually, I fall asleep but too soon my clock is alarming that it's four-thirty. I groan but drag my body to the bathroom for a quick shower.
Jessica is just as tired as I am and we drive in silence to the airport. There she hugs me and tells me to call her when I get to Birmingham. I promise her I will and feel teary-eyed even though I am not leaving her forever. It feels weird because I am not sure when I will be back. It all depends on how he responds to me leaving.
While going through the process at the airport, I feel as though I'm being watched but whenever I look around, I see no one around me, staring at me. Definitely not James's familiar face.
I can't help being jumpy and only breathe a sigh of relief when the aeroplane is in the air. I look down from my window seat over Detroit and sigh with relief. Only then I am able to get some sleep, being thousands of feet in the air, far away from James's reach.
The chirping of my phone wakes me from a deep sleep and nightmare of an angry boss hunting me down. My heart is pounding in my chest as I sit up in the middle of the old bed I've had since high school.
It is narrower than the one I have back in Detroit and the mattress is on the lumpy side, but it is familiar and comfortable and the last couple of nights since I've been back in Birmingham, I've never felt better.
I yawn and reach for my phone that stopped chirping which is my message tone. I blink my eyes to clear the sleep from them so I can make out who the message is from.
Since I left my work two days ago and returned to Alabama, every day I expect my phone to ring with a call from James, demanding I return to work. But nothing.
It's strange that instead of being relieved, I am disappointed. How silly I felt. Sillier still for my disappointment. Why had I thought I was so important that he would search for me when I didn't show up at work?
More than likely he has already replaced me with someone else. It was Merry voice note she couldn't collect my things from my office due to James.
Damn. He doesn't call. He doesn't demand I get back to my job but he doesn't want anyone else to collect my things from the office. What a hard man to read! What does any of this even mean?
With a frown, I place my phone on the bedside table and get out of bed, stretching. This is weird and doesn't feel right at all. In the little time, I've come to know James, I'd like to think I could read the man. James doesn't let things go even if in reality, he can. Because he likes to win. He shouldn't be giving up so easily that I had walked out on him.
I use the bathroom before following my nose and the delicious aroma into the kitchen. Maria is standing at the stove, making eggs the way I like them, scrambled with sliced sausages and sprinkled with melted cheddar cheese. I could smell biscuits too. Oh man, do I love coming home.
"Morning, Maria. You've not lost your touch in the kitchen at all."
Maria Pearl looks up at me and smiles "I'll be cooking till the day the good Lord decides to take me," she responds and I frown.
"Maria doesn't talk like that," I tell her as I take a seat at the table. I hate talking or thinking about death. I've already lost so much, my mother, my father. I couldn't lose the one friend I have close to me.
"Ah baby, you've got to get used to it. Some are born and some die."
"Yes, but we don't have to talk about it."
"Not talking about it doesn't make it go away," she responds softly, scraping eggs onto a plate along with biscuits and a slice of toast and placing it before me. "Just in the same way, you not talking about what your dad did doesn't make it go away."
I remain silent at the sore topic and she placed a cup of coffee before me before sharing herself a plate and sitting with me at the table for breakfast.
"There's nothing to talk about where my dad is concerned," I say, then bit into the delicious eggs. "Umm. These are as good as I remember. You've got to teach me how to cook like this before I find myself a husband. I can't believe I grew up with you and my cooking is terrible."
"But how will you ever find yourself a husband if you push every man away. Not every man is like your father, Emmy."
"I know that and I don't push all men away."
"You are still a virgin, aren't you?"
I blush at the unexpected question. "Maria! That's kind of personal."
"I'm not saying I expect you to sleep around," she clarifies. "But there's not bee one man in your life that you've been able to share with. Not just sex but love and laughter. You're missing out on a lot."
"I've got lots of time for all that," I remind her. "I'm only twenty-four."
"But I'm afraid you pushing men away all these years will become a habit you find you can't break. Then there's your inexperience in not knowing how to handle a relationship with a man.
And again, I'm not referring to sex. Men are different from us, you know. They express themselves in a more obscure way while we tend to be more straightforward and sometimes these little things will miss us about how a man truly feels about us."
It feels weird Maria talking to me about these things.
"Companionship, sex," she continues. "Unless you're telling me, you and I are romantically involved. Not that I'm judging of course. As long as you are happy."
"No way!' I protest. "you are just a close friend. I do have feelings for men. Just not strong enough for me to want anything." Until James. What I had felt when he touched me even though he was a little rough was stronger than anything else I've ever felt.
"When the time is right, you'll know," she says smiling at me. "I'm just saying open up your heart so you'll receive him when he comes along. Don't let your father run out on you when you needed him the most, cause you to lose confidence in men.
True, many are just like you're father but there are also good men out there and a good man is worth his weight in gold."
I nod although to be honest, it is a lot harder than she makes it out to be. While attracted to James for example, I know I could never be with a man like that. He is too aggressive and commanding.
He has the potential to hurt and not just emotionally but physically. Witnessing what I had as a child how my father had abused my mom physically, I never want to find myself in the same predicament.
Worse, to have a child in a union like that and cause the child to be as traumatized as I had been. Waking up in the hospital with a concussion because my father had backhanded me into the wall.
And my mother was the one who had gotten the brunt of it. I'd watched as she lied to people around us, to Maria, to the police about how she got the broken arm, the cracked rib, the black eye.
The day she developed a brain tumour, my father skipped town. I'd watched my mother deteriorate and I'd been with her in the room at the hospital when she took her last breath
I wash up the dishes while Maria sits and scribbles on a notepad a list of items she needs from the supermarket.
"Hmm, I'll have to get these later when my car that Reggie brings my car over from the garage."
"I'll get them for you," I inform her. "I want to get out the house a little anyway."
"But what will you do for a car?"
"I'll just call a cab," I tell her.