Alan looked up at a cat-woman with grey streaked black hair tied back in a bun. She wore samurai armor made from the yellow joss paper covered in esoteric symbols and writings in red ink.
"Why are you smiling like a person that received a pardon the moment before your execution?"
"You're so old," Alan responded with a dumb smile.
Fenrir's cat ears folded back as her brow furrowed in anger.
"Are you the magistrate of courting death?" Fenrir asked while bending forward to stare into Alan's eyes.
"I just meant that I am happy you're not a child that is questionably close to the minimum age of consent," Alan responded sheepishly.
"Are you a pervert?" Fenrir asked with her eyes narrowed, and face close enough to Alan for her loose hair strands to brush against his face.
"That's a loaded question," Alan yelled back in defense.
"What is your intent by coming here?" Fenrir asked.
"Why do you ask so many questions?" Alan asked back.
"Have the Descartic warriors been forgotten?"
"Descartic warriors," Alan thought out loud.
"*Gasp* Master Alan, Fenrir is a Descartic warrior. They are followers of absolute truths through uncertainty, and practitioners of irresolute meditations," Chun Chun spoke while puffing on a thin pipe that is longer than his whole body.
"She only asks questions. Got it," Alan pointed at Fenrir while facing Chun Chun.
"Why would a person with an empty mind speak empty words to the air?" Fenrir asked with a judgmental stare towards Alan.
"Are you blind?" Alan asked while pushing his face towards Fenrir
"What can a closed eye see?" Fenrir asked while pushing her face towards Alan.
Their foreheads bled from the pressure exerted between them. Eyes locked in a battle of dominance.
"What is outside? What is inside? Is it reality or the mind that forms the other? What is one without the other?" Fenrir asked much while shrugging off the situation as she stepped back.
Alan's hands trembled, and he vomited from the stress of preparing to fight. Chun Chun patted on Alan's back to comfort him.
"Fenrir is bipolar," Alan said under his breath.
Fenrir sat in a meditative pose, with a still mind that didn't react to Alan's comment.
"Her qi hinges on the water element," Chun Chun began speaking, "Martial focus on water elemental energy has two main branches - The free-flowing style of immense turbulence, and a tranquil style of peaceful calmness."
"She is a master of the yin and yang of water energy," Alan impatiently spoke to hurry to the end of Chun Chun's explanation.
Alan fell into deep contemplation.
"This is bullshit. I was making armor for a tiger the size of a small cargo ship. She is a human with cat ears and two cat tails. She is eight feet tall and muscular as hell, but still human sized. Where's the boatload of original paper armor material I put all my energy into making? Nobody mention some kind of martial origami folding technique type bullshit! That was paper board thicker than clay roof tiles," Alan went off on a sudden rant.
"Someone's temper is short as their height," Chun Chun gloated.
"My height is perfectly average. Fenrir is only two and a half feet taller," Alan defended his short king pride.
Fenrir's left and right eye twitched. She pinched off eight paper scales the sizes of a fingernail from her joss paper armor then tossed them like rain falling upwards. The eight joss paper scales unfolded three-hundred-fifty-eight times into eight origami koi fish.
"*Gasp* The eight trigram gasp of fortune," Chun Chun gasped.
"I know that a group of koi fish are called a gasp. Did you seriously say gasp twice?" Alan asked Chun Chun.
"*Ding* Quick Step - Novice Mastery - level one has leveled up to level two," Chun Chun yelled over the noise while riding a surfboard on a paper wave and drinking a tropical cocktail in a pineapple next to the panicking Alan.
"Why are you running? Are you jumping Longmen?" Fenrir asked while chasing Alan up a paper waterfall with eight golden origami joss paper koi fish.
"I'm not jealous of guys taller than me!" Alan yelled indignantly.
"You ran away before I could explain the meaning of the eight trigram gasp of fortune," Chun Chun shouted through a conical paper megaphone at Alan.
"This is exactly the reason why I ran away," Alan began speaking while skipping around, "I talked about trying to leave, but never explicitly talked about having left. Everything unseen and unsaid remains unchanging. I made a stupid mistake."
"A real martial master is a peerless genius that never makes mistakes," Chun Chun responded.
"I'm not a martial artist. I have character flaws. They make me human," Alan spoke while looking at Chun Chun.
"Am I too ugly to look at while talking?" Fenrir asked with watery eyes.
"This is all you're fault!" Alan yelled while pointing at Chun Chun standing slightly behind Fenrir.
Fenrir began crying loudly while giant tears sprouted in a fountain from her eyes at Alan's harsh words she perceived towards herself.
"This would be so much easier if you could just expose yourself for everyone to see," Alan spoke while facing away from Fenrir and towards Chun Chun.
"How long has it been since a young boy wanted to see my body?" Fenrir asked while pulling up the chest armor portion of her armor to tease Alan.
"I'm not a boy," Alan said to Fenrir.
"Where is the lazy plot device that allows other people to see you?" Alan asked Chun Chun.
"How many thousands of years have you lived?" Fenrir asked Alan.
Suddenly Alan was inside a giant crib wearing a babies onesie with a pacifier in his mouth.
"It costs one system point to reveal myself," Chun Chun answered Alan.
"Are you fucking kidding me with your pettiness? Confirm purchase, bastard." Alan yelled at Chun Chun.
"*Ding* --"
"Who is this chubby, ugly child?" Fenrir asked while interrupting Chun Chun.