Chapter eight
in sync.
"as a kid I wouldlook at people regu;ar people ''. He moved his hand back and force as if to prove a point which he was. He nodded his head so his pink hair bobbed.
"like you". like me? he could of said those words with a knife
Like me.
"I would be in aand out of hopspitals while you and a lot of others were having fun with your friends". He ran a hand through his hair again surpressing another smile. Before taking another sip.
"I was a closeted Gay"> he licked the bottom of his lip No seductive or naything "so that's why I where Pins and what not I don't want to be hiding anymore". He gave me a look like he expected me to say anything he wasgay which I knew there was nothing to say about Hidding I was hidintg but I was surposed to being Spanish I hid. Kids didn't like my voice as a kid and I constantly misspelled and misspoke words.
For the rest of the walk we walked in silene, are legs moving together quickly and fast we each had another reason to go fast. Him to go home to take meds and me to escape the outside. I almost expected my mom to po out of anywhere. Which wasint the best thing. I just watched him take a sip of coffee again. He licked his lips rubbed his shirt collar and gave me another smile.
We got back to his house around ten thirty. The house was eerily quiet. I wasint a fan of the dark despite my room being naturally blue colors I didn't like the darkness. Gutter pointed to a note on the counter and read from a small sticky note.
Gutter and if your charming friends still here we went to a movie.
Try to get some writing done both oof you..
There was a winking face at the end of the sentence somehow it made me feel uncomfortable. He smiled picking up the note replacing it with our cups of coffee. He turned back around. His face I couldint stop looking at it the smiling the. I shook my head so my hair fell in my eyes. Maybe I should go home. He crosses the room to the couch and sat down with a bang. I watched him relazx his body slowly and then all at once.
His room was pink like I ahd imagined like the rest of the house the pink blenneded in with everything else exept for his bed which was red. Red the color of anger and blood. He semed to notice and similed he sat down at a small chair at his desk which was coverd in notebools and pieces of paper. Writtings I wonderd what they said.
"sit"> he gestured to his bed with a small smile on his face It wasint a reall one like norkmal it was a forced one was he going to tell me he knew what was going on with me. people always hought they knew what my problem was. He picked up a yellow notebook off his desk and handed it to me a black fountain pen fastend into the loose bindings at the edge. He waved it infrount of my face.
"whats this for". He shrugged.
"I wanted to get you something buddy".
"you know I cant write". Even saying it again made my voice hurt. I culdint write I couldit write. I looked for the nearest exit bbut it seemed to far away for me to even touch.
"everyone can write". He sat down on the edge of his bed his feet pressing into the carpet.
" you just need to clear your mind".
"I don't need you to tell me what to do". He raised his hands up in surrender standing to sit bedide me on the bed it sqeaked then groaned.
"I know". There wsa that word again I know he knows what? "but why don't we write together". He took my hand in his the warmth that spread across my chest
In thin words the pen gliding across the page he wrote
Loving someone is the same as losing them in your heart.
I turend my body to him sslightly
"is that shakepeare". He shook his head the pen twirling in his fingers like a celling fan, It made my head dizzy.
"no Its me". He took in a breath like there was int enough in the world which tthere might not of been.
His rom was verysmall the bed pushed right against the falling window. Was the only thing in here. It accord to me that there family wasint very rich. But they looked happy. My mom told me that being poor when she was in cuba was one of the worst things but since she married my dad they were okay,
" do you want me to call your mom for you I can walk you home". He said walk instead of drive he didn't have a car. Tehn I thought about his last part tell your mom Im here. Would she care I shook my head despite how mych I hated him I didn't want to go home no not yet. Maybe I could stay here forever. Which was of course was not true but his parents were welcominig. Maybe I could draw out my stay for weeks.
"no its fine". I looked at my watch the time said 9:30 the coffee shop must e open it should by me osometime right. I looked at him considering what I was oing to say for a minute when my eyes meet his electric blue. It was startling almost how blue his eyes are. Like the ocean I used to like the ocean SImulatiin creativiinty stimulating. His freckels on his cheks shown in the cold atmosphere. He blinked slightly then looked away.
"we can go to the coffee shop". He rinned again "YES". Then he added quickly "so we wont have to go I the rain tomorrow".
The coffee shop Beans was packed people everywhere. I was surprised how many people could fit into one space. Most of the people were woman in shiny black dress suits talking about tehre husbands or tehre kids. One woman in blue scrubs noticed gutter and gave him a smile. She toooka sip from her cappichino the smoke spreading around er red lips.
"how are you ,mister James?" Gutter coughed for a second he tried t duck behind me but he was aalready seen he smiled fake. It was werird ho I could tell when he was being fake.
"oh im Great". He said he weeezed in a small cough before gesturing to me with a bigg smile.
"this is my good buddy NIcko Sanchez nico this is Nurse DAMIon notice DAM she preffers to be called that". I wave slightly uncomfortable. Normally I would just walk places withought being reconized but with gutter well he was reconized at a coffee shop looking for something. Soon the twp pf them began going through resent events he left out the oart about me cutting. The bandage ws stuffed under his yellow jacket it matched the notebook.
"hey um Gutter".
"uh huh?" he spun around momentarily forgetting that someone was right next to him.
"Im going to look for your pin" he stood up alttle straighter he must of gotten distracted he wheezed as if the spina round was alittle to much for him and smiled alittle rubbing his neck of all the comfort. The nurse gae him a look and he shrugged Un noticed.
"sure ill help see you later".
"tomorrow". She said she gave him those evil eyes. Taking a sip of the coffee. Without another word he dragged me to the table we were sitting at which was empty. It was like tat spot was waiting for us open. He fished under the table for a moment and then laughed he showed off the pin like a spokes person. I imagined it.
"its under here". He said it like he had no idea which he might not of. I didn't know I was about to turna round we still had a long walk. And the time I looked down at my watch it was alost ten.
"you knew it was under the table". He grinned picking up the pina nd pinning it confeddently to his shirt which was pink. He smoothed down his hair and gave me a small look.
"you ready?" I wasint sure if I was ready. Could I convince him to not let me go home. I tried to thinkof other things in my head to stop him but there was nothing. He lead me to the conter shooting a smile at the woman behind the counter with tossled hair and shinning white teeth. That looked like she hadint dranken coffee even though she worked at a coffee shop.
"Ill have a cappochino and my fried here". He gestured to me like it was an invitation to speak.
"Black coffee". She nodded her head before screaming in a very thick accent.
"BBLACK COFFEE AND A CAPPECHINO!" I squinted to read her name tag. VINI.
"thank you Vini". Gutter said he gave her a smile laying down a five dollar bill.
"where do you want to go ext?" I asked my arm was tired but I was determind not to go home. I tried to think of what my mom was going to be doing sitting and waiting. Im glad I left my phone.
"don't you want to go home". I shook my head like it was the most ridiculous thing to say in the world which maybe it was,
"no". maybe in order not to go home I had to pretentd were friends.
Pretending your friends I have never thought Id stope this low. The walk back to his haouse was quiet the gental tapping of the workers on the ruff the birds singing to eachother. How can birds be happy when I wasint how could they love well every part of my body screamed with hate. I wanted my dad back. Seeing Gutters parents so loving o caring struck a chord in me. He swong his hands back and force whistleing under his breat he had a nice whistle which matched wel with the birds.
"you sing nice I mean whiste"> that was the forst word Ive ever complimented him. It felt weird to complement him but he smiled his teeth filling out the rest of his face. If you looked at him allyou would see would be his face.he had a nice face though I blushed looking down at my shoes which were starting to get muddy from the day.
"thank you". he glanced at me searching fir a complement before smiling this guy never sopped smiling.
"you have nice hair". He reached out a hand to flatten my curls.
"oh". I reached up to feel my ow hair it was grimy but somehow the complement made me smile alittle. It wasint a real smile though, I haent smiled one of those in weeks. He tured back around to the side walk then wheezed.
"Damn". He laughed again taking a sipof coffee wiping his lip on his blue cardigan. "I should of too my meds today". He took another sip.
"meds". I glanced at the sidewalk nifrount ofus we weren't that far hos house (the smallest in the neighbor hood) wasint that far away from here.
"yeah I take airborne every night".
"oh you okay". He nods glancing at the sky. A blue bird chirped flying pst his shoulder. I watched his legs swing back and force for a moment it was almost transfixing.
"yeah just as a kid I got sick a lot". Which was just totally opposite of me. I took a sip of my coffe it burned my tounge. I never got sick as a kid and I said so.
"Lucky you". His voice was bitter possibly the first time ive ever heard it be that bitter before.
"im sorry". I glanced down at my feet but he shook his head.
"listen eh Nicko its fine". It didn't seem fine but I listend alittle bit. He took another isp of coffee filling the silence where it took my own. Are arms movinHe smiled again.
Jeez he never stops. I tried to think of what he said before. He was always in the hospital. In the hospital sounded like torcher I had never been in the hospital for more then a day after like I said it was in there.
"you know". Gutter pointed the remote "you want to watch something". I shook my head I didn't want to watch anything what would we watch I treid to imagine the type of movies hed watch. He turned his head to the side his hair pink and curly looked like cotton candy in a carnival.
"NO im fine". He f;ashed me a cheeky smile.
"you want to write".
"I told you-" he cut me off waving his hands back and force like he was conducting a choir.
"I know but Ive never actually read anything you've written and I think it would be good bddy skills or would you like to watch TV".
"Tv".