Max
You are special to me too,
That word kept ringing in my head like a broken record.
Maybe, I am losing my mind or doomed, as Ken said before. Nothing, and I mean, nothing was going on according to plan. I wasn't supposed to think of her this much, or get attached to her. Much less invite her to my house.
Heck! what was I thinking?
But thinking how I was such jack to her yesterday. I owed her this much. What she told me the other night kept playing on a loop in my mind.
'Did you call me here so you could humiliate me?'
God knows how much I regretted behaving that way towards her. When she left and ran away the other night, I panicked. I didn't know where she was going, and despite seeing her enter the ladies' room and her words about not leaving, I still could not make my heart ease.
I had a serious talk with Nicky. I swear one day, she was going to ruin my life. How could she spout so much nonsense without even reading the situation? Usually, she was never like this. Unreasonable, senseless, and cruel. There were times when she acted like that, but only when we asked her to deal with unnecessary drama.
She apologized profusely and promised to make things better. Good thing she forgot her cellphone, which acted as a relief to me. When I saw her talking to some bartender, something inside me raged. Seeing her laughing and entertaining that guy made me want to storm where they were and drag her away.
It did not make any better when Rick approached her. I was confused to see how familiar they talked to each other. I was so busy looking at them from upstairs that I did not realize when Nicky walked towards them and started talking to Melissa.
To say I was glad to see them laughing and even started drinking together. I must admit that I quite felt jealous of how Ken and she were able to hit it off immediately. Nicky also offered to house her for the night.
Deep down, I wished I was the one hosting her for tonight.
I sighed, feeling frustrated with myself for losing control and letting my emotions run wild. I just wanted to have a good time with Melissa, not this way; sharing personal stories or relying on her, but another way of having a good time.
I sighed for the hundredth time, looking sideways to where she unknowingly slept. Thinking about it, she wasn't that bad. In fact, she was beautiful.
Slowly my eyes travelled down to her smooth, slender neck. I gulped down.
Look away, Max.
But nothing worked. Instead, I found myself leaning in until I was an inch away from her face. She smelled like vanilla. Like natural vanilla.
Unknowingly found myself sniffing her intoxicating coconut scent. I burrowed my nose in the nook of her neck, and the feeling was something that I had never felt before.
It was like I had lost all my senses and what filled my head was to have more than just sniff her. I know I was acting like a dog but can you really blame me? Ever since I met her, I haven't been with any other girl or engaged myself in sexual activities which were not like mine. All I could think of was her. She was present everywhere, in my mind, my dreams, and now, in my bed!
What can a guy do?
She was not like the others. She was not any of that kind of lady looking for a good time in bed or on one nightstand. For goodness sake, what was happening to me?
I almost took advantage of her when she lay on my bed. Trusting me, and that too, after being there for me. I must be damn out of my mind.
An eluded sigh escaped from my lips as I lay now facing the ceiling, trying to ignore Melisa beside me. For the first few minutes, I couldn't look in her direction. I didn't want to, too afraid that I might lose control again but also could not move away from the bed.
At last, could not help but take a look. Melissa looked peaceful sleeping, unlike when she was awake when she would always be on guard against everyone. It was like, she was afraid that once she let herself go, she would lose herself. I stretched my hand and caressed my cheeks, to which she murmured something incoherent, which made me chuckle lowly not to wake her up.
I drew in a deep breath, tired of my conflicting emotions, and tiredness eventually surged through me as I fluttered my eyes close.
My sleep was a short one, as I was awoken by the weight on top of me. I frowned and opened my eyes, wondering what was happening, but only to be met by a very unexpected turn of events. On top of me, was none other than Melissa, straddling me and giving me one lustrous look that got me to swallow.
¨Oh, did I wake you up?¨ she asked, in a slow yet seductive voice, her hand caressing my chest.
¨Mel, wh...what are you doing?¨ Damn! I even stutter. But what could I do? The girl I had been fantasying about was straddling me and taking the initiative of her own free will!
¨What does it look like I am doing...¨ she dragged the sentence, her fingers playing with the button of my shirt before poppin them out.
¨Haze¨ she finished her sentence. Leaning much closer to me, torturing me with her breath near my face.
Before I could control myself, my hand reached the back of her head, and I pulled her forcefully toward me, crushing my lips against hers, but then, something wasn't right.
¨Max,¨ I heard her call my name, but I was already too consumed and drowning in the lust she provoked to pay heed to whatever she was trying to say.
¨Max,¨ she called again. ¨Wake up, Haze!¨ again, and everything went cold as I froze. I blinked my eyes several times until I could focus.
A series of profanities escaped my mouth in a hiss as I took in our position. Melissa was on the bed, her back against the mattress with a panic look as I, on the other hand, was the one stranding her.
What. On. Earth. Was happening?
She clearly was the one who seduced me first, and I was just reacting to her advances, but why...Oh, you got to be kidding me!
It was a dream? Is this some kind of game?
¨Please get off me,¨ her quivering voice brought me back, and I could not help but frown at how scarred she was. ¨Listen Mel-¨
¨Please, just get off me,¨ she cut me short, biting her lips like she was mad.
Who wouldn't? I almost took advantage of her in my dreamy state!
Seeing that she was not going to listen, at least in the position we were in, I moved away from her with a I let a resigned sigh. She didn't waste time getting up from the bed and scurrying away from the room like it was a plague.
That did hurt me a lot.
¨Mel, wait!¨ I called, rushing towards her, but that did not stop her. Instead, she put on her shoes, picked up her handbag, and headed toward the door.
¨Hey," I grabbed her arm, halting her from reaching the door. ¨What is it that you want?¨ she snapped back at me, and I winced at the hostility I saw in her eyes.
¨Can we please talk?¨
¨You are already talking.¨ she retorted dryly with a scoff, trying to free her arms from mine but still did not let go.
¨Max,¨ she sent me a warning gaze but did not budge. Something squeezed my heart a little bit painful when she called me Max instead of Haze as she usually did. Especially after learning that it belonged to me.
¨Let go of my hand!¨
¨I will, only if you won't run away, please,¨ I pleaded with her. She looked at me for a while as if deciding what to do. She sighed, looking anywhere but me.
I took the silence as a go for me.
¨I am sorry for what happened. I really don't know what happened. The last thing I remember is you falling asleep, and I followed suit, then I was dreaming...You know it's normal for these dreams to come out of nowhere, and I guess it was ...¨ a frustrating sigh eluded from my lips as I raked my fingers through my hair, wondering what I was doing.
It was even more embarrassing explaining my erotic dream to Melissa, much less telling her that I was dreaming of her.
¨Listen, I am sorry okay? Can you not be angry at me anymore? I would never do something you don't want, or worse, take advantage of you. You were here for me when I needed someone, and I swear that it was not intentional.¨ I was desperate for her forgiveness.
I was not afraid of losing the deal between us or the land or anything. I realized the thing I was more afraid to lose was her friendship and her companionship.
¨Please say something,¨ I beseeched, getting no reaction from her. Her eyes then found mine.
¨I get it,¨ she started. I was relieved. ¨I completely understand that it is normal for whatever happened earlier to happen. I am sorry for reacting that way when it is my fault in the first place...¨ my brows furrowed in confusion at her words.
¨I was the careless one. I slept on a man's bed - your bed - with you, present and without your permission¨
¨That's not-¨
¨You know it is Max. Which girl sleeps on a man's bed who is not in a relationship with? We are not even friends, to begin with. We don't have any friendly nor genuine connection between us apart from our selfish wants. You want your land, and I want to appease my grandmother. Maybe whatever happened back then was just a reality check. Something to wake us up from these lies we have built our relationship in.¨ she paused for a while.
I was silent the entire time, listening to every single word coming out of her mouth. They were only words of truth, but all sounded like knives stabbing my heart. She said that we were not even friends? Heck, she was right. But I wanted us to be friends at least. The whole reason of brought her to my house and well...I messed things up.
¨I am not mad at you, don't get me wrong. I just...I need to leave now. It's getting late,¨ She then turned around and opened the door, only for Jake to come into a vista with his hands raised, ready to ring the bell.
Just great!
"Not a good a time?" he questioned, raising his eyebrow, but I could clearly see the twinkling in his eyes, and I knew he could tell that I messed up.
"Hi, Melissa! Brought some drinks!" He added after receiving no response from both of us, raising the can he had in his other hand.
"Hi, Jake, nice to meet you again, and no, I need to go now," She answered, attempting to smile, which failed miserably.
"I will drop you off." I offered, praying that she would allow me.
"No," she said almost immediately, making me winced inwardly.
"I insist, I brought you here, and I promised Bibi to bring you back safely," I insisted. "I am not a child that needs caring, Max."
"You know that is not what I mean...damn it! Can you just stop calling me like that?" Ever since she revealed the reason for calling me Haze, I no longer wanted her to call me by my name.
"I can take her home," Jake butted in, breaking the baseless argument going on, earning a glare from me.
"No,"
"Yes," Melisa and I said almost at the same time, causing us to look at each other.
"What?" I asked in surprise. She was willing for Jake, someone she wasn't familiar with, to take her home, but not me?
"Jake will take me home," She said with finality. I was about to open my mouth when she beat me to it.
"You should go see your mother. I am sure she needs you more than I do." That was enough to shut me up. I gave her a confused look. Wasn't she supposed to be mad at me? Then why did it sound like she still cared for me?
That thought somehow made me feel relieved a little bit.
"Alright," there was no point in dragging the issue longer. Melissa already decided, and I have to admit, that she had a point.
¨ I will walk you to his car, I offered and was about to refuse when I added. "I am also going to meet my mother," she had no choice but to nod her head.
I hurriedly went back to my room to pick up my jacket and followed them outside.
The ride in the elevator was long and slow. No one spoke. I tried opening my mouth a couple of times, trying to talk, only to end up with nothing. She wasn't even looking at me at all. I looked at Jake's side only to see him question me with his eyes.
I said nothing but evade my eyes from his, knowing that he would figure it out later. Finally, we reached the ground floor. As if running from something, Melisa bolted, rushing outside, sparing not a glance at me.
"Dude, the heck you do?" I heard Jake's voice but did not bother with him. My focus was on Melissa, who was speeding away. Thank goodness I was able to reach her in time.
"Call me when you reach," I said, causing her to halt. She tilted her head, looking at me sideways. She said nothing but nodded before entering Jake's car.
I sighed, watching them drive away, and could not help but kick my car's tire.
I only hoped that everything would be alright.