Late November
Audri
I sighed heavily as I held my phone to my ear. I wiped my tears angrily as I plopped on my bed.
"I'm sorry baby…I didn't expect the car to break down when it did. I had to use the emergency funds to get it fixed. With Aaron on that secret mission, and your father not answering his phone, I can't send you money to come home…" My mom said softly. I sniffled.
"It's ok, I'll come for Christmas instead of Thanksgiving," I replied softly, trying to hide the pain I felt. "I love you."
"I love you too baby girl," She replied. After a couple more words we hang up and I felt utterly alone. I couldn't go home with Rachel, because she ended up flying to California to her grandparent's house. Ashely lived in Lubbock, and Chloe came all the way from El Paso. I was literally alone in the dorms.
I could scream, but instead, I cried like a baby. I just wanted to go home. I have never been away from home for so long. I hated it. It felt like I was suffocating here. As I debated why I even came to college, I looked at my phone. Before I knew it, I was calling Fred.
It rang and rang. Then rang again. I knew he was in America because of the Holiday. Why did the phone go to voicemail? It was only 9 pm in New York. Maybe he decided to go to bed early or was busy. I don't know, but what I did know, is that it irritated me. I huffed and put my phone away.
Forget it. I thought. Maybe I should just go to sleep? I sighed heavily again, then left my phone on my bed as I went to the bathroom to take a shower. When I came out and went back to my room, my phone lit up; as if he knew I walked into my room. Fred's face lit up my phone, but I could care less right now. I didn't really want to talk to him anymore. I was still sad, but now I was irritated that he didn't answer the first call. Now he wants to talk to me? Whatever.
I put on my lotions as I let the phone ring. I went to my mirror looking at my nude body. I think I should do more squats, maybe more sit ups. I placed a hand on my tummy with the thought before I turned to put on my nightgown as my phone rang again. I looked again and saw his face. I ignored it again. Instead, I put all my curl products in my hair and then twist it. I then put on my bonnet and crawled into bed. I watched the TV as my phone rang, yet again. I sighed and sat up grabbing it.
"You're very persistent," I spoke softly into the phone.
"What is wrong?" He said imitatedly hearing my distress. I sighed softly. I felt bad for ignoring his calls now. He was so caring.
"I'm just struggling a bit right now," I mumbled. I didn't want to tell him I was struggling financially. How would it be to tell your pop star boyfriends that you're broke and can't find a way home? I didn't want to be that girlfriend. I didn't want to seem poor, or needy. "Everyone has left for Thanksgiving break and I'm all alone," I finished.
"Oh, well you should wake up early and go home." He said simply.
"Well duh. If I could I would." I snapped.
"Audrey, you don't have to bite my head off every time I say something you don't like,"
"Well, you should say things that help the situation," I replied.
"How can I if you don't elaborate?" He asked, frustration clear in his voice.
"You don't need to know everything!" I replied lamely, but angrily. He groaned.
"Then why did you call me if you didn't want to tell me what is going on?" He asked. I felt my eyes get watery. Why did I call? What the hell! He was my boyfriend or supposed to be. Did I need a reason to call him? My bottom lip trembled.
"I won't call then," I stated then hung up. I felt tears run down my face and I curled into my bed. Why would he say that? Like I'm bothering him? He's the one that chased me down. Not the other way around. He can leave me alone if that's how he felt.
But he ended up calling me and calling me. I just stared at it. Maybe he wanted to break up with me. I'd rather not hear it to be honest. We could just stop talking, then I won't have to hear those painful words. As his name lit up my phone again, I sighed. Let's just get it over with.
"Hello?"
"Audrey. What the actual fuck?" He asked seriously. I flinched, he never cursed at me before.
"Let's just break up since I'm such a bother," I stated suddenly.
"What the fuck? Audrey, what is going on? Why are you so angry today?" He asked. "You call me, I don't pick up because I was busy. I call you back two or three times. When you finally pick up, you act like a child,"
"I'm NOT a child!" I argued.
"Well, you're definitely acting immature right now. Stop, and talk to me!" He raised his voice, irritation clear in his tone. It pissed me off. How dare he! He's an ass! He didn't know my struggle. So I told him.
"I'm fucking poor as shit. I can't go home cause I have no gas. I have no money. My house is 6 hours away. My mom's car broke. She can't give me money," I spat harshly.
"Audrey, why didn't you just tell me that? All this drama over money?" He still didn't get it. It wasn't over money. It was about me not being with my mom, my brothers, my aunt, and my uncles. Me being so far away from home. I've never felt stranded before. He didn't get it. Of course, he wouldn't. If he wanted to go somewhere, he could just go. No problem. I never felt so far away from him until now. I could feel my anger rising, and rising. I felt like this was a waste of time. Fuck it, and-
"Fuck you." I hung up. He called me four more times before I blocked him. I put my phone down, then my phone dinged.
"My Lord," I thought as I look at my Twitter.
FredXiaoLi @DrangonBoi . Now
@Aud_bear Everyone, spam her, she's mad at me. -_-
I stared at the tweet in shock. No way. Suddenly, my phone was going crazy with dings. So many fans, so many people, tweeting me, DMing me. It was too much. I had to silence my phone, and put my account on private.
FredXiaoLi @DrangonBoi . 7m
@Aud_bear Everyone, spam her, she's mad at me. -_-
Audrey Cobbs @Audri_Bear. Now
Replying to @DragonBoi
Stop.
I tweeted back at him. I prayed that he would stop and call off the attack. I didn't like my phone blowing up. I don't think he understood. They were even going after my IG. Thankfully, I turned off comments and private's my account quickly.
FredXiaoLi @DrangonBoi . 10m
@Aud_bear Everyone, spam her, she's mad at me. -_-
Audrey Cobbs @Aud_Bear. 3m
Replying to @DragonBoi
Stop.
FredXiaoLi @DragonBoi. Now
Replying to @Aud_Bear
Unblock me.
Asshole.
FredXiaoLi @DrangonBoi . 11m
@Aud_bear Everyone, spam her, she's mad at me. -_-
Audrey Cobbs @Audri_Bear. 4m
Replying to @DragonBoi
Stop.
FredXiaoLi @DragonBoi. 1m
Replying to @Aud_Bear
Unblock me.
Audrey Cobbs @Aud_Bear. Now
Replying to @DragonBoi
You don't control my actions you ass.
I relax when he didn't reply right away. Maybe he was done. I hoped so. People were still @ing me. It annoyed me. Now people who didn't know what was going on were in our business. Telling me that I should talk to him. It just pissed me off more.
FredXaoiLi @DragonBoi. Now
@Aud_Bear Audrey.
Audry Cobbs @Aud_Bear. Now
Replying to @DragonBoi
Stop talking to me.
FredXaoiLi @DragonBoi. Now
Replying to @Aud_Bear
Jokes on you because you keep replying Princess.
I glared at the text as my jaw set. Then he got blocked.
______
Fred
Shit. She's pissed.
"Damn it," I cursed softly. My dad looked at me with a raised brow as he sipped his green tea.
"You've been typing on your phone angrily for a while now. What is going on?" My dad asked.
"Audrey is what's going on," I grumbled. I had stepped out to talk to her on the phone but came back to the living room with my dad when the argument turned to text. I had told my dad about her after our first meeting. He's the one that encouraged me to go for my happiness. I wasn't feeling so happy right now though.
"Ah, women," He said, nodding. "What did you do?" He asked. I turned to look at him.
"Me? Why me?"
"First rule son. It's always you," He chuckled. "But seriously, what happened?" He asked, raising a brow. I sighed then explained to him what happened. He took in a breath.
"Maybe it's not about money son. You said she's a freshman in college? Maybe she just really wanted to go home, and now she's just there alone." I paused in thought, then looked at him.
"But, wouldn't it still be about money if she doesn't have it?"
"I think you aren't looking at the big picture. Does she ever ask you for money?"
"No, she never does."
"I think you made it about money, son. I think she just wanted to rant, " He sips his tea again looking at the TV, thinking I supposed. I paused looking at my phone, thinking over the situation. "Then you got your fans on her, I can only imagine her phone right now. Full of love and hate alike." He frowned. I grabbed my head as I cursed.
"Yup."
"How do I fix it?"
"You're blocked aren't you? Give it a couple of days. Let her cool off, then if you can, message her."
"And if I'm still blocked?"
"If you really like her as you claim, the flight is only 3 hours," He shrugged. "Just do what makes you happy son...and I think she does," He smiled at me gently, then stood. "I'm going to head to bed. Good night Freddy, I love you." He patted my shoulder. I looked up at the man I admired. He had started to go grey on his head as well as his goatee. He looked at me with the love of a father. I felt like a child again.
"I love you too dad, goodnight."
______
My dad and I landed in Dallas, on Thanksgiving day. I wasn't blocked anymore, but I thought I should still surprise her. I didn't want her to be alone on Thanksgiving.
"Are you about to head out?" My dad asked as I walked into the kitchen of the Airbnb we were staying at for 3 nights. My dad was playing chef and was cooking thanksgiving food for us. Currently, a turkey was in the oven, he was working on some sort of dumpling now. I fixed my light blue sweater that had a white dress shirt under it as I stood next to my father. I had paired the top with dark-washed jeans and light grey timberlands. I made sure to put on the cologne she liked, popped in some mint gum.
"Yeah, hopefully, she'll forgive me and come enjoy dinner with us," I grabbed her flowers and bear. She had a thing for Teddy bears, so I made sure to get a cute and soft one. It was about the size of half my arm.
"I look forward to meeting her," He said with an encouraging smile "Remember, Li men are strong. You got this son." He walked over to me and fixed my hair that I had shaved the sides of. He then fixed my sweater, then started grooming me in a way only a parent could.
"Ok, ok, Dad," I laughed, leaning back a bit. He smiled at me.
"Go get her son," I nodded with a small smile before walking out.
As I got closer to the University, I couldn't help but feel nervous. What if she actually hated me now? What if she didn't want to see me? How the heck am I supposed to get in the building without letting her know? Wow, I'm unprepared. Shit.
After parking in the parking lot of her dorms, I got out and paced by the doms door. This campus really was about safety. I mean, that made me feel good knowing that nobody could just come in, but geez. I mean, there was no security gate, I just pulled in and parked. Now, it was stuck. Maybe I should just call her. I was about to when a guy walked out. I grinned.
"Thanks, man," I said as he held the door for me. I couldn't help but wonder, what if I were a murderer? So much for safety.
I went up the stairs, then I was suddenly in front of her room. Shit, what if she wasn't even in her room? Ah heck, I'm unprepared! I'm sure some of her friends stayed...right? Probably not. I'd be trying to get out of here too. I sighed.
I was scared of rejection. I didn't want to lose her. What if she didn't care if she lost me? I cursed to myself. I needed to get myself together. So I stood tall, letting out a deep breath. Ok. I am Fred Xaoi Li. Li men don't back down; even if our tails are between our legs. I huffed, then made myself knock on her door.
I wanted to bolt. This was a mistake. She hates me. She wishes I were dead. I need to leave. Oh god. All the thoughts ran through me as I went cold.
Before I could ding-dong-ditch, I heard the locks unlock. I quickly held the bear up as the door opened, as if to protect me. Instead, there was silence. So I spoke first.
"Fred says he's sorry," I said in a goofy tone, moving the bear side to side as if it were talking. I internally slapped myself for being lame. When there was just silence, I peeked from behind the bear and was taken by her beauty. She looked absolutely shocked as she stood in the door, her curly locks were in a messy bun and she wore a shirt that she "borrowed" from my last visit that was grey and far too big for her. Then tiny shorts, that showed off her long legs. She wore no makeup and her nose and eyes were a little red. Before I could speak, she was suddenly in my arms. The feeling of relief washed over me as I held her close.
"I'm sorry," She whimpered as she cried softly into my chest. I pulled her closer.
"I'm sorry to Audrey," I breathed in her scent happily. I felt happy again, the knot in my stomach gone. I picked her up, to walk us into her room, then closed the door. She giggled as her legs swayed. I smirked at the sound then put her down again and pulled back slightly to look at her.
"I brought you flowers and a bear," She grinned, my heart fluttered.
"Thank you," She said, then pulled back so I could give them to her. She smiled happily, turning side to side in an adorable way only she could do. She looked up at me with so much affection, it made me blush. "I'll put these in water," She blinked, looking at her flowers. I nodded and watched her move. God, I missed her. But we needed to talk about our argument. And I needed to stop the fans from tweeting her. That was definitely a bad move on my part.
I looked at the living room of her dorm and saw a cocoon of blankets, and a PB and J sandwich on the table. She can't eat that on Thanksgiving. I'm glad I came. I was even happier when she walked back to me and hugged me.
"So, we need to talk," I said gently, looking down at her. She bit her bottom lip and nodded. Then grabbed my hand and led me to the couch. I sat next to her cocoon, and she sat back in it. I looked at her trying to find a way to start this conversation.
"I didn't want to tell you about the money because I don't like it when you spend a bunch of money on me. I don't want you to think that I'm just with you for money because that's not it. I care so much about you Fred. The money is cool, but it's your money. Not mine," She looked at her hands thinking. "That being said, I'm sorry for snapping at you. You didn't know what was wrong, and I did act immaturely. However, what you said hurt my feelings, a lot. Why would you even say "why'd you call me then" as if I can't call you just because," She looked up at me. I didn't expect her to start the conversation, but I admired her for it.
"I said that because as soon as we started talking, we instantly started fighting. For me, it was like "Why is she calling me if she just wants to fight?" I don't like fighting with you. It doesn't help that we're so far away, and things easily escalate like they did. I acted immaturely too. And I definitely shouldn't have tweeted you," She blank faced me and sighed. She was still upset about that. "I'm sorry, I'm gonna try to fix that. Maybe if I tell them to stop more, they will. I don't know. But I put you in danger, and your location in danger; I fucked up, and I'm sorry." I said seriously. Some fans were crazy, and they could easily come to her college because of my tweet.
She sighed softly, then leaned to rest her head on my shoulder. "I forgive you." She stated, then grabbed my hand gently. "I don't wanna fight no more." She finished softly. I looked down at her, then kissed her forehead.
"Does that mean you like me again?" I asked. She giggled sitting up. I felt my face heat up as she cupped my face gently, then pulled my lips on her. I relax in her touch, moving my lips with hers. The fire that was between us started to blaze as she turned on the couch and moved to straddle my lap; sitting on her knees. My head back, I looked up at her with hooded eyes as she pulled back. She had that look she had when I came back before. The look of lust, need, want...love. A look just for me.
"I definitely like you again," she grinned before we made up for lost time.
______
Audri
I was very happy. I squeeze my thighs together as I thought of Fred. The way he touched me, the way it seemed as if he made love to me without going all the way. I could scream; I did scream - I'm happy.
I fixed my white off shoulder shirt, as I stood in the bathroom. Apparently, Fred's dad was here with him and he was cooking dinner for us. I hope he thought I was nice. I put on my red lipstick, then pulled back to look at myself. I had on a cute loose fitting white shirt, jeans, heels, my make-up was cute, my hair was curled; I looked great. I walk out of the bathroom.
"Just stunning." Fred breathed as I put on a bracelet. I smile shyly, ducking my head a bit.
"Shush,"
"You are," He grinned, walking to me. I looked up at him. "Let's take a picture." He said. I instantly mold to his side and we take a couple of pictures.
"Post one so maybe they will stop tweeting me," I teased, but he looked at me as if I were a genius.
"Brilliant!" He replied, then typed quickly on his phone. I smiled, then went to grab my purse. Adding perfume as I did so.
As we walked out of the building, laughing at a meme Fred just showed me, I was stopped by my mom's voice.
"Audrey?" What the? I looked up and there she was. My eyes got watery. What is up with surprises today?
"Mom!" I cheered and walked to her quickly. I embraced her happily. I then pulled back and looked at her.
"You look so pretty; where are you going?" She asked.
"Fred came down, we were going to go eat dinner; How'd you get down here?"
"I took out a loan," She shrugged. I gasped.
"Mom," I say shocked.
"You thought I'd let you spend Thanksgiving alone?" She asked. I didn't know what to say to that one. Her eyes shifted as Fred walked behind me.
"Mom, this is Fred; Remember I was telling you about the Kpop idol guy?" I said, not knowing how to tell her he was my boyfriend.
"Yes, hi. I'm Faith," She gave him a hug, which he returned gently.
"Hi, it's nice to meet you," He grins, just as my younger brother, Phillip, walked over to us. He gave me a look of "what the heck", then handed mom her keys.
"What the heck, what was that!" I said in a way only a sister could. He laughed.
"Dude, you look like a fish," I glared, and it was on. I pushed him, and he pushed me; sure it seemed playful, but I had to let him know who the older sibling was. I demanded respect!
"Y'all better stop before one of y'all gets hurt," My mom said seriously. I gave Phillip a look.
"Phil, this is Fred; Fred, this child is Phillip." I introduced them. Phillip was fully black because of Aaron. He used to have dreads, but he cut them. He now wore beanies, all the time, to hide his fade. Even though he was 16, he had a full on beard and was 5'9; just a bit shorter than Fred. Aaron was tall though, I'm sure Phillip would get taller. He played a lot of basketball and was every athlete.
"What's up man," Fred said, holding his hand out. They instantly did that weird guy hug thing that I never understood.
"So where were you going to eat?" My mom asked.
"I brought my dad here from New York and he was cooking. I thought we could eat there. But we should all go! It will be a mini family dinner," Fred grinned at her. She nodded, looking at Phillip who shrugged.
"Lead the way then," She smiled. I grinned at how smooth this was going. I wondered what could mess it up.
______
"Dad, we're here!" Fred called holding the door open for my family as we walked into the condo Airbnb. "Oh, uh, could you guys take your shoes off, please? " Fred looked at us with a smile. I giggled and slipped out of my heels. Fred took off his shoes as well. He looked to the side, then went to a shoebox. "Here, you can wear my slippers cause I have socks," He said to me, placing blue slippers in front of my bare feet. "I had bought these got Audrey, but you can wear them since you don't have socks, Mrs. Faith." He grins at my mom, placing pink slippers with a crown on them, by her feet.
"Thank you," She smiled, slipping into them. Phillip placed his shoes by Freds. I did the same, then stood by him with a small smile.
"I'm in the Kitchen son!" A man called. My heart started to pound. I was gonna meet one of his parents. He never said anything bad about his dad, so maybe he was the nice one. Did he know I was black? Hopefully, he's not traditional like his mom was. Fred grabbed my hand gently, squeezing it. Crap, I forgot to tell my mom we were a thing. I guess this is how she finds out. I hope she's not pissed. Crap.
We walked into the kitchen and was greeted by the smell of home cooked food. Cornbread Dressing was on the counter next to yams, greens, dumplings, rice, kimchi, and a lot of different foods. A man who looked like an older Fred grinned at us. His salt and pepper hair was pulled into a short ponytail, and his goatee was groomed. He was a little hefty but was still pretty slim. He was a little shorter than Fred, but a good height. His eyes held the same kindness that Fred had.
"Hello! I'm glad you guys could make it!" He grinned at us, taking off his apron. He wore a nice shirt and jeans.
"Thank you for having us Mr. Li," I said politely as the man walked over.
"I had to invite over the woman who makes this knucklehead think," He motions to Fred who shook his head. "I'm Bo by the way," He held his hand out. I shook it with a laugh.
"I'm Audrey. This is my mom Faith, and my brother Phillip." I introduced them. My mom shook his hand.
"We got some trouble on our hands with these two," He joked with a chuckle. My mom chuckled as well, giving me a look.
"I see," She said."I didn't even know they were together, I figured but it was never confirmed." I made a face.
"My bad, I didn't expect you guys to meet so soon," I said softly as Fred put his arm around my shoulder.
"It's ok," She chuckled. "So, what's for dinner, Bo?" She asked. Bo took her on a grand tour of the foods he cooked. Fred, Phil, and I just kinda stood there. Fred looked at Phil.
"Do you like games?" He asked Phillip. Phil nodded at Fred who smiled.
"Excellent, this condo has a whole media room. I can show you guys," He said. I nodded with a small smile. This guy was really trying to make sure everyone felt welcomed. I grabbed his hand, and he led us to the media room. There was a giant TV with a bunch of comfy couches. There was an Xbox and a PlayStation with surround sound speakers.
"This is cool, is this your place or an Airbnb?" Phil asked as he walked to the games.
"An Airbnb," Fred sat on the couch, letting my hand go so I could look around too. I went to the movies curiously. I could imagine Fred and I curled up on the couch watching a movie. I smiled at the thought, I turned to ask if he wanted to watch one only to see him and Phillip playing a game. How long was my daydream? What the heck. I thought, then went to sit by Fred as he bonded with Phillip.
______
Fred
At the dinner table, we sat around with plates full of my dad's cooking in front of us. I was ready to eat, I was starving. I had turkey, corn, greens, yams, and rice on my plate. There was also soup dumplings on the table, piping hot and ready to eat. I'll definitely have to show Audrey how to eat them.
"So, we have a thing at my house where everyone states what they are happy for," Mrs. Faith spoke as we sat in slightly awkward silence. I smiled.
"That's a cool idea, we should do that," I looked at my dad who nodded.
"Who wants to go first?" My mom asked. We sat looking at each other.
"Uh, I'm thankful that I got accepted into college; and that I had to stop at a gas station after the L.Y.F.E concert." Audrey blushed as she spoke the last part, then looked at me shyly. I grinned at her, feeling my heart fill with warmth. My dad sipped his wine.
"I'm thankful you had to stop too; honestly, this year was supposed to be pretty stressful, with L.Y.F.E's new album, then solo projects...But it hasn't been that bad and that's all because of you Audrey," I smiled at her. Her blush brightened at my honesty. Mrs. Faith looked at me curiously, as Phillip suddenly scoffed.
"Well I'm thankful that I don't have a girlfriend because that seems like too much work," Phillip made a face. The moment was completely gone now, Audrey and I laughed along with our parents.
"It is, but it's worth it," I replied to him with a wink.
"I'm thankful that you seem like a nice fellow, and I pray you won't hurt my baby, or she hurt you," Mrs. Faith slapped my arm with a chuckle. I half smiled. "But also, I'm thankful that my husband will be home in December. I'm thankful that my kids are healthy and doing fine." She smiled softly. Then I looked at my dad who was smiling.
"I'm thankful that this year I get to have Thanksgiving with my son," We made eye contact. "You spend most of the holidays with your mother in Korea, but I'm happy you decided to come to spend time with your old man for once." He smiled at me and I felt tremendous guilt. I normally spent time with my mom because she's there. I would love to spend more time with him, but sometimes it was like my mom gave me a bunch of tasks to do on my break, and before I knew it, the break time that I had to see both of my parents was gone.
"I didn't know you felt that way...I'm sorry Baba.." I addressed him properly. He waves me off with a gentle smile.
"It's not your fault son, I know your mother," He chuckled softly. "I'm just happy you're with me this year," He grabbed my hand, and I squeezed it. Then we all held hands and prayed about being thankful, our health, and the food before we dug into the delicious meal.