Lucan's POV
When I opened my eyes again, all I could see was darkness. I was floating in an endless abyss. I was in the dreamscape again, but it wasn't like the last time, there was no concrete sense of space or direction. Ambrose's presence the last time was what held this place together but now that he was no longer there, it all fell apart.
I, on the other hand, don't even know how all of this works. The only thing I was able to accomplish was entering the dreamscape. I had hoped for some more assistance but it seems that I would have to figure everything out myself.
Ambrose said that mana was the building block of all magic so sensing mana would probably be the most logical step, but I didn't even know if mana was quantifiable outside my body, so for now I focused on what was already inside. I closed my eyes, still floating in the endless abyss, and peered into myself in absolute silence. I could hear the sounds of my own body...the pulsating of my heartbeat, the noises of my organs and the slight tinnitus in my ear, so much so that I could feel these movements as well.
Among them was an ever so feeble, gentle and pleasant noise I could sense all over my body, it flowed freely and smoothly through tiny vessels similar to blood but it was unlike anything I have ever felt before. It felt like a kindred spirit was dancing elegantly in my body, freely and without constraints, it felt warm and gentle almost as if it was alive. This was the root of all magic....mana.
The sense of accomplishment I had felt was nothing compared to anything I had ever done before, but I couldn't get ahead of myself. I had found the mana within myself but I didn't yet know how to use it. I closed my eyes again and focused on my mana, it was as free-spirited as ever but I knew that if I wanted to use it I would have to control it. I tried to forcefully control the mana using my willpower but no matter how I tried, it was fruitless in the end
I kept floating in the abyss, thinking of what I needed to do for what felt like countless hours while the mana was still dancing in my body like an animal set free in the forest, and finally, it clicked. You cannot cage an animal and expect it to obey you, you approach it slowly and respectfully, offer your cooperation and increase the trust between you. It's a relationship between equals and not master and servant.
I immediately closed my eyes and approached the mana again, this time slowly and respectfully, my will being to form a relationship of trust. The mana immediately started slowing down its erratic movements and started calming down. I started concentrating on my hand to coax the mana to move towards it, almost requesting it to do so. Nothing happened for a few seconds but suddenly I could feel my hand brimming with energy, I didn't stop and started to visualize a bright and warm glowing flame, tiny but powerful right on the palm of my hand. I could feel my palm grow warmer, the energy from the mana being used. The bright white color that I could feel of the mana was slowly turning red with an orange hue. When I finally opened my eyes in the abyss...I could see a tiny flame of fire right in the palm of my hand.
I couldn't keep my concentration out of sheer joy and the flame faded away and I started falling into the endless abyss and I suddenly woke up in a shock. I was back on the bed and I was sweating all over but that didn't matter, I had done it, an extremely tiny step to be sure but it was a step nonetheless. As I got up I could feel a wetness on my cheeks...I realized I was crying but it was the first time that I had cried tears of joy. Then I felt a familiar feeling in my body, one that I hadn't felt before except in the dreamscape, the same energetic mana flowing through my body, now more orderly and gentle.
I started laughing hysterically as tears rained down my cheek. I concentrated on my hand again and felt the same burst of energy in my hand. Imagining another flame to materialize I concentrated like I never had before and for the first time, it had felt like I was actually doing magic. All I had done until now was use the dreamscape as a training ground but this was the real world, the small bedroom I was in was illuminated brightly by the flame in my hand, warmth emanating from it. I walked over to the unlit candle and hovered the flame over it as the candle was lit. I was too dumbstruck and my mouth was wide open.
I sat down on the bed in disbelief as I processed what I had just seen. Even after all that had happened, magic was still something that was beyond my logical understanding, it was unscientific and my modern brain wasn't able to comprehend its actual prowess but now I knew that the opportunities are endless.
Wasn't this all I had ever wanted in my previous life, I had hoped for some extraordinary and godly intervention to save me from my hell, and here it is literally in the palm of my hand. I kept staring at my hands as I remembered what Ambrose had warned me about, this power will either save me or destroy me and it is up to me to decide what it does.
I needed to get stronger, lighting candles won't do me any favors. I had just jumped my first hurdle in conquering magic and now it was just a race to see how long it took until I reached the very top.......