<< e i s u k e>>
"YOUJIN, THE MANGA* YOU RECOMMENDED WAS REALLY GOOD!" Our classmate, Oneda, cheerfully said as he approached Youjin. "I slept so late last night. I couldn't put the book down!" (*manga- Japanese comics)
Youjin's lips instantly curved into a big smile, while his eyes were certainly beaming as he stared at Oneda. "For real? I'm glad you liked it."
"Seven is so cool! And Light's power, and that final attack? It's just so so so amazing!"
Listening to their conversation, I'm guessing they were characters from the book. I'm not fond of reading manga, that's why it makes me happy that Youjin has someone he can talk to that shares the same interest.
"I see! So they are your favorite characters. I like Stay the most. Even though his character seems cold, he always sacrifices himself for the safety of his friends."
"Right, Stay is a cool character too… Youjin, Is it okay if I return the manga to you next week? I want to read it again from the beginning this weekend."
"No problem, take your time. I also did the same when I bought it."
"Thanks. Recommend me another great manga next time, okay? I like the stuff that you like, Youjin… Seems like we have the same taste." Oneda flashed a big bright smile that even his eyes were smiling.
Youjin was taken aback, his cheeks subtly turned pink. "Y-Yeah."
My desk was just behind Youjin so I can see him watching Oneda as the guy walks back to his own desk. His gentle eyes were fixed on him as if he'd disappear with a single blink, as if he's the only person in this room.
I know… 'He likes him'.
—
"YOUJIN! I THOUGHT I WON'T GET TO SEE YOU TODAY!"
"Reiji-senpai!"
And the annoying guy came. I can't help but roll my eyes. I was pretty confident I won't see this person today but it turns out I'm wrong. Youjin and I were on our way out the school gate when this guy suddenly appeared from behind us. He immediately, as if by reflex, placed his arm around Youjin's shoulders.
"Senpai…" I said as I picked up his hand, tossing it away from Youjin's shoulders. "Stop bothering Youjin."
"Huh? But I'm not even bothering Youjin. I saw you guys leaving the lockers so I chased after you so we all could go home together."
"Where's Yuma-senpai?" Youjin asked as he glanced behind checking once again if my cousin's not really following us.
"Oh, some juniors from the basketball club came earlier to our classroom asking Yuma for help, I don't know, about their training or something." Reiji-senpai rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Even though he already quit the club last week. That's why Yuma won't be returning home until later."
"That doesn't mean you have to go home with us. You're not a child anymore." I deadpanned.
"Haa? But it's lonely going home alone…" He said pouting like a little kid.
Youjin chuckled. "Eisuke, it's totally fine if senpai wanted to go home with us. We're all going the same direction anyways. Besides, senpai's fun to be with."
It surprised me when Reiji-senpai turned to me and, this time, wrapped his arm around shoulders. I could feel his chest pressed against my back with his face almost close to mine since he's only a few centimetres taller than me. I could smell a nice scent coming from him, I almost held my breath.
'Yep. Almost.'
"See, Eisuke! Youjin enjoys my company!"
I just clicked my tongue and then I shook his arms off my body. "Whatever. You two walk together." I said as I slowed down my pace letting them walk in front of me.
For a split second, I saw disappointment on Reiji-senpai's face then – almost instantly— he's back to his cheerful self.
***
"YOU GUYS! YOU KNOW, LAST NIGHT I SAW A BL MANGA IN MY SISTER'S ROOM."
"Huh? What's a BL manga?"
It was break time and these guys' voices were so loud that everybody in the classroom could hear them, especially me and Youjin. Youjin turned to their direction as if interested in their silly conversation.
Ah… right…
Of course, he'll be interested. Oneda was there too. It's not hard to notice that he wanted to know what Oneda thought about that topic— homosexuality and homosexual relationships. Worry and fear were plastered on his face and also a teeny tiny bit of hope.
"BL… I think these are the stories about two males falling in love with each other."
"So, your sister is reading stories about homos?"
"My sister said she just got interested in those kinds of stories not long ago, but she's so excited and all giddy talking about it to me. I don't even understand what's so nice about those kinds of manga."
Oneda laughed. "There's nothing nice about them, rather… aren't they disgusting? Even just thinking about liking a guy gives me the creeps. Wait. Why are we even talking about this? If somebody hears us, they may think we are all into that."
This bastard!
I turned to look at Youjin, again. It's more painful for me to see him make that kind of face. I want to grab that Oneda bastard and throw him some punches. But I think this is for the better…
'Stop wasting your time liking that kind of guy. He doesn't deserve your feelings…' I wanted to say those words to Youjin but, instead, I kept my mouth shut.
"Hey! What's disgusting about gays?!"
Oneda's group, as well as Youjin and I, all turned in the same direction, towards where the voice was coming from – by the entrance of our classroom. And there, we saw Reiji-senpai standing with his hands holding his waist. He has his eyes fixed on Oneda's group as if he's daring them to spurt some more nonsense. He started pacing towards them. The room became smaller and narrower with every step he took.
He stopped a few meters away from them, "So, what's disgusting about a person in love?"
Our classmates held their breaths, including me. No one could dare to utter a single word.
Yuma stepped closer to Reiji-senpai stopping behind him, then with his nonchalant voice he said, "Reiji, stop that…"
Reiji-senpai took a couple of seconds to collect himself, heaving a deep sigh. Then his mouth curved up in a big menacing smile, "It's still too early for you guys to say things like that. Be careful what you say, you don't know what will happen in the future."
At that moment he looked cool. That annoying image he has deeply etched in my mind disappeared in an instant. I caught myself thinking…
'So he could be serious too.'
"Reiji-senpai…" Youjin murmured. I didn't even notice that Yuma and Reiji-senpai were already standing beside us.
"Sorry for that…" Reiji-senpai said without a tiny bit of being sorry in his tone.
"Reiji, they said those insensitive things because they're still young. That last bit you said didn't make any sense." Yuma shook his head with a hint of amusement on the expression on his face.
"What I wanted to say is that maybe, just maybe, in the future they will fall in love with someone of the same sex. And when that time comes, they will surely remember me and this day!" He cackled with a menacing laughter.
At that instant, his cool image vanished in my mind like it never existed in the first place. There's no saving this person, he'll always be an annoying one.
***
"REIJI-SENPAI IS AMAZING…"
Youjin said under his breath on our way back home. He has been feeling down since hearing that conversation by Oneda's group this afternoon. Who wouldn't be disheartened after knowing that the person you like will never feel the same way about you? His love already ended before it even had the chance to begin.
Just as I thought, I should've punched Oneda at least once.
"What's amazing about that person?"
"I can never do what he did earlier. He's so brave for being himself and yet people still like him for who he is… I don't think I can defend myself like that…" He suddenly chuckled but his face said otherwise, it's as if he wanted to cry. "I don't think I can confess to the person I like anymore…"
I clicked my tongue. "Oneda is a bastard. It's much better if you just like somebody else. You're so much better than him, Youjin, he doesn't even deserve your love. Just forget that good-for-nothing Oneda. And don't ever lend him your mangas again. That fvcker!"
Youjin stood frozen on his feet, looking at me wide-eyed. "H-Have I told you before that I like O-Oneda?"
I shook my head. "Nah. I just noticed it…"
His body tensed up, "Ha?! Was I too obvious? What if he knows too that–?"
"Don't worry. He's stupid."
Youjin threw daggers at me but he ended up snorting. "Yeah… he's a moron."
We walked together in silence for a while. I could feel that a huge amount of sadness was lifted off from Youjin. Worry left me too…
"By-the-way Youjin, if you couldn't defend yourself… just call me, I will definitely protect you."
***
YOUJIN AND I WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR SECOND YEAR WHEN I BEGUN TO NOTICE SOMETHING ABOUT HIM.
He's quite easy to read and it bothers me that he has no idea about it. By something I mean, he often blushes when we are together and he becomes a bit awkward and shy when I meet his eyes. Only a moron will not notice what he's thinking.
"Correct me if I'm wrong Youjin, but are you in love with me?"
He almost spit the food inside his mouth. We're currently having lunch on the school rooftop. Now that Reiji-senpai's gone, our everyday school life has become peaceful. Youjin averted his eyes, "Wah! E-Eisuke, why did you say that?"
"You're just so easy to read, Jin."
He stiffen from where he's sitting, trying to calm himself by tossing the food over and over in his lunchbox.
"So… You want to go out with me?" I asked nonchalantly, but somehow I'm having fun watching his shy reactions.
He glanced up to look at me, finally I met his eyes again. "N-No... I like you Eisuke, but... dating... is a different matter. You're more like a family to me Eisuke."
I felt relieved in my heart, not because I can't go out with Youjin, also not because he preferred for us to stay this way, but it's because I know that being a family with him is much deeper and more meaningful than being in a relationship with him that someday might come to an end.
I can't help but smile, "Right, I'm glad you feel the same way"
***
6 YEARS LATER.
"Youjin is a precious family to me that I like to protect..." I know I already drank a lot and yet I still want to drink more. "I just want him to be happy… always."
A small and lonely smile formed on Reiji-senpai's face, "That's the reason why I was so envious of Youjin... He has someone beside him who will always protect him. No matter what."
"You have Yuma."
"Yuma... He's my best friend but he would not go to that extent for someone like me... I wonder how it feels to be treasured by someone like that."
He's always been the annoying senpai for me and he's someone who has this annoying smile on his face every single day but as I get to know him day by day, I could, somehow, see how lonely of a guy he really is. If only he could find someone who will protect him and treasure him as if he's the most expensive piece of artwork in a museum, maybe I can finally see him smile genuinely.
'His beauty is a work of art… he deserves to be worshiped.'
Ah… that was the alcohol talking… I already had too much to drink.