As I made my way to the podium with the other speakers I couldn't help but wonder what I'm supposed to do after this. No one would ever say this but sometimes being successful can be boring because you live your whole life on a schedule and such is the irony of life. Most times we trade our freedom for success.
Throwing away all useless thoughts out my head, I made my way to my seat before bringing out my laptop and going over my piece.
Before long the seminar was underway with everyone listening and only the voice of the speaker could be heard throughout the hall. After this, Ronnie would be next followed by an old woman before me.
Ronnie soon came up stage welcomed by a round of applause while my eyes darted all through the hall where I caught a tiny spark on one of the sockets connected to the lights above the stage.
The moment I caught sight of it, a feeling of dread washed over me as I continued to look at it. The longer I looked at it the more apparent the feeling became and I soon found my body moving on its own almost autonomously towards Ronnie. By this time, I had gained the attention of everyone and summoning every strength I could from my almost static cell I yelled "Everyone! Get out now!".
Like typical humans they all stared at me like a weirdo and remained sitted even Ronnie came up to me and said "Dude what the hell is wrong with you? Don't tell me you are high right now! Are you?"
"Huh?". That was the only way I could react before an explosion coming from the north side of the building jammed my senses and throwing both me and Ronnie to the ground from shock.
Waking up from the screams and sounds of footsteps around us, I pushed myself up the floor but my eyes seems to have lost their focus and my ears were buzzing almost causing to fall back to the floor and throw up.
Reining it all back in, I took a step towards Ronnie who from the looks of it was still groogy. Reaching his side I pulled him up and made my way towards some of the people i knew. There was Mr. Hopsin, Cassina and a few others. Looks like the explosion affected them a lot more than it did us since they were still sprawled on the ground with but a few already regaining consciousness.
There were a few kids and teenagers with us and the air was getting harder to breathe due to all the smoke and fire so we hard to get out now because the next time we fall, I have a feeling we won't be getting up anytime soon.
Making our way to the the backstage, I could already hear the sounds of sirens from afar. Since there were a lot of people, we had to push our way through. It was a stampede.
Unfortunately, it seems luck wasn't on our side as the passage leading to the back door was on fire so we had no choice but to turn back and find another route.
By this time, I could see some people falling to the ground. It seems the smoke got to them. At this point I couldn't even be bothered to see who fell.
Humans are selfish creatures. I always agreed with this quote. The only time one could get a good look at the true nature of a human being was during a crisis.
During a crisis, humans tend to think only about themselves. It is only when they are presented with a modicum of safety do they think about others and personally I don't see anything bad about it.
Self-sustenance is a biological program imprinted in the DNA of all living beings since birth. It is our go-to guide when we find ourselves in troubling situations. Thinking about ourselves first before our families, before our friends.
Since our exit was blocked, we had to go back to the hall we came from.
Throwing a glance backwards, there were at least twenty people following me. A few of them I knew, the majority I didn't really care about.
On getting to the hall, I was caught with a sight that made me give up hope of ever getting out.
The only way to describe what we saw was - Hell.
Fire everywhere. Bodies burning, filling the already smoky air with the smell of burnt flesh. As much as I tried to stay calm I could already feel myself panicking. There was not much to be said about the rest as I could already hear screaming.
Feeling a tap on my shoulders, I turned around and saw Cassina with tears in her eyes as she asked me amidst sobs.
"Where should we go? Hic. What should we do? How can we get out?"
"I…"
Looking away from her, I trailed off as I saw the looks of hope on the faces of the others.
I hated this. I hated being the one someone depended on. I hated being the one who had to make choices for others. All it did was gave you unnecessary burdens. We were all in the same situation, but I somehow became the one that they were relying on.
This was the reason why the best relationship I ever had to date wasn't with my parents, but with Stacey - my ex.
We were two different type of people entirely. While I did have a few friends, I wasn't the type who always hung out and if I was being candid with myself, my friends were more like a bundle of 'boredom repellant' or a 'live-tutorial on socializing + extra' package. While I was someone who preferred to do things on my own, I tried my best not to involve to many people in my private life - parents included, and that's when Stacey came in.
She was like that itch you find annoying but at the same time scratching it gives you pleasure. She started hanging out with me in my second year of college after Cassina and I broke up. And just like how a caveman finds fire interesting even though it burns, Stacey found me interesting… to tease even though I wanted nothing more than to smash her ever smiling face in.
She was someone who didn't know what personal space meant and she made it her mission to interfere with everything I did. She was probably the person I hated the most after Mr. Hopsin. As someone who kept his life personal even from his closest friends, having someone like Stacey with you was like being in an enclosed room with a leaking bottle of cyanide - she didn't care about how many blocks you put up or how guarded you are, at the end you get poisoned all the same.
Seeing as how I couldn't keep her away, I relented. I, as someone who did things on his own and Stacey who did people's things for them were practically different ends of a magnet. Since then we've being together for almost seven years. To be honest, I saw her as a best friend rather than a lover and I think she did too which was the reason why we still talk almost everyday even after our breakup.
Pushing away all the annoying thoughts from my head, I look around the room with difficulty as the flames were spreading out.
There was a fallen pillar blocking us from accessing the main door. Some people had already escaped probably when we were knocked out by the explosion while others managed to escape through the back stage before it became unaccessible.
The roof was crumbling, so we had to find somewhere safe but the problem was where? Everything was on fire. The roof, the doors, the chairs, the pillars. Everything was a fiery hell.
Which I was grinding my brains to figure a way out, I found my vision getting blurry. My knees became weak and I found it hard to breathe. My head hurt alot worse than the handover i had this morning.
Is this how I die? I couldn't help but think to myself. While my vision grew darker, I couldn't help but hang on to the last hope of someone saving me.
Please help! I cried out in my head. I couldn't remember when last I asked for help. I always tried solving all my problems myself so as not to be seen as a burden to others. I was someone who always gave help despite how I hated doing it but would hesitate when I was stomped.
So this is end huh? The moment I accepted my fate everything became - for lack of a better word - peaceful.
All my cries and inward wailings seized. My erratically beating heart felt calm. The blazing flames that were a symbol of dread became something like an exquisite work of art. I found myself unbothered by the impeding death coming my way. This must be that pre-death experience. You know, the one where your life flashes before your eyes and where you see the white light.
But the thing was i didn't see any white light. All I saw was the flames creeping closer as if proclaiming my death my vision growing darker with every second until I fell into welcoming embrace of death.