God, why does the world seem to reject me? Why does fate keep pushing me to the lowest point in life? This is all too much for me.
I'm so tired, can't you just take me to your side?
God, if I put an end to my life, would you hate me? Are you going to punish me up there?
I've been patient so long, isn't that enough? Why is your heart not in the slightest?
I am too tired of this suffering, if you are up there to punish me, I will embrace it. At least I can feel something different despite the pain.
Come on!
But will falling from here directly kill me? I don't want to get hurt anymore.
No!
If I think too much, I'll be afraid and refrain from doing it.
So, I should just jump, right?
All right, just do it on three!
One ...
Two ...
- three!
Brugh!
I fell on a very hard surface. Hit my head pretty hard. It hurts!
But, shouldn't I look forward and not backward? And, shouldn't I be in the water?
"Miss, are you okay? Are you hurt?"
I'm trying to hold myself straight-up holding my head. Though my sight was blurred at first, I could slowly see the DNA back clearly enough.
An old lady is standing next to me, she looks so pretty and she smells good.
Could she be an angel?
"It's okay, baby, it's gonna be okay. I'm here with you."
The old lady spoke to me.
"Where do you live? I will bring you home," the old woman said very softly.
I guess I was wrong. She's neither an angel nor something like that. Seriously, why would an angel take me home?
"You can go, I'm okay," I said quietly.
I wanted to cry right then and there. Why does someone have to save me? I worked up the courage to jump. Now, what do I do?
"No! I won't let you be alone. If you don't want to go home, why don't you come with me?"
It's not that I don't want to go home, I do. However, the orphanage I lived in was disbanded and torn down.
I'm completely alone right now.
"You like ice cream? There's a very nice ice cream parlor nearby."
That old woman is still seducing me to go with her. She seemed so nice, maybe she was afraid that I would try to jump again if she left me.
"Let's have some sweet ice cream there!" cried the old woman as she pulled me to her feet, and halfway dragged me toward her car.
I exhaled heavily. Seriously, my body is still shaking, my knees are still weak. It's scary, I would've died if this woman hadn't helped me.
She loaded me into her luxury car. Then she took me to an ice cream parlor that was pretty quiet. She also ordered me some ice cream and waffles.
"Are you okay? You hit your head pretty hard. Should we see a doctor?" The woman looked very worried.
"I'm fine," I replied for the umpteenth time.
"Miss, when life is so beautiful, why do you want to end your life like this?"
I reflected laughed at the woman's words. How could she just say that? Living the good life? It hurts my feelings.
I tried to raise my head and see her beautiful face.
"Why are you laughing?" the woman asked. She seems confused.
"No, I'm sorry. It's just, it's so funny to hear you say it so easily." I tried to be as polite as I could.
"Do you have a hard life? I don't know if I can help, but I am a good listener."
A good listener? To be honest, I don't need it. A good listener or whatever it is. I don't like to talk about my sad life.
But since I'm not dead, I guess I needed it. Perhaps if she had listened to how sad my life was, she would have felt pity for me, and then paid me the sum of money. I would have to pay for my meals in the next few days. I'll have to rely on mercy, at least for now.
"Maybe you won't understand what I'm feeling because you're not experiencing it." I looked at that woman in doubt.
"I will try to understand you," she said without hesitation.
Okay. um ...
"I was found on the doorstep of an orphanage when I was a baby. It was a small orphanage with a large enough number of children, our underages. I've been through hard times since I was a little girl." I started, and the woman was listening carefully.
"I always work hard to at least ease the workload. I studied very hard to get a scholarship. But what good would that do? A school on a scholarship means being an outcast at school. They think of me like a parasite who could school off the pity of those who have rich parents. No wonder their parents donated much to the school."
The woman is still listening.
"And all of a sudden, the home I was living in, disbanded because the landowner wanted to build something there. No other orphanage would take me in because I was old enough to take care of myself."
The woman seemed sad to hear my story.
"Then my scholarship was revoked simply because one of the school board kids didn't like me." I continued.
"Oh, my God!" she squealed.
"I went there to look for a job. However, no one would hire dropouts like me. I'm alone, with no place to live and no money. I can only eat from the leftover rice that people throw away. But, the worst thing is, some goons came and tried to harass me. I can't imagine life from which side is beautiful. Everything is gloomy and dark."
The woman was silent with her mouth closed and wide-eyed. Good, I think she understands how pathetic my life is. Oh, really! I still feel bad because she saved me.
"I'm sure you can understand why I wanted to end my life. But since I'm still alive anyway, please pity me. Give me some money to move on."
I swallowed my saliva raw. I know how shameless I am. This woman helped me, how could I ask her for money?
"Money? Is that all you can think about?" the woman said with the same expression.
Is that all I can think of?
Money?
"Of course, the only thing I need right now is money," I said briefly.
"Forget about money, I have a better solution than that!" she exclaimed with conviction.
A solution to my problem? This woman? What will she do to help me?
"Oh, will you find me a job? Thank you, I need it."
I bet my eyes are lit up right now. Even before she answered my question, I was so happy to imagine that I had a job, could eat without tearing up the trash, and not sleep in a mosque anymore.
"No!"
All my hopes and hopes would just vanish by the sound of that one word she said.
"Be my daughter!"
My head began throbbing with pain as I listened to her speak.
"Please don't make fun of me! If you refuse to give me money, then fine, I will neither force nor curse you!" I cried.
The woman looked straight at me and gave me a good look.
"Kidding? Nooo! I think it's perfect! Look, I'm 38 years old, unmarried, and childless! I am also an only child, having no siblings and close relatives! Aren't we both alone? We can complement each other."
I still don't know how to react. Oh, isn't this complicated enough? It's good that I'm her daughter. She's rich, she's nice, and I don't have to beg anyone for mercy just to feed her. But, after all, we're strangers. How could she decide to make me just a child?
"You look so pretty, why didn't you get married?" I asked.
"Because I'm barren! No man wants to marry a woman who will never be able to give them children." She said casually.
"There are so many newborn babies who are abandoned, why not adopt them?"
The woman smiled very sweetly.
"It is not easy for a man to accept a child who is not their blood."
Makes perfect sense.
"Be my daughter! I'll give you a wonderful life!"
The words that woman just said, they're the most beautiful words I've ever heard in my life.