" Akash, I know it's difficult but believe me, I tried but I can't stop them. " The Principal knows everything.
𝗬𝗲𝘀, 𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀.
It's not like he's sitting idle knowing it, no, I know him trying to stop them as much as the power he holds. But the corruption has gone too deep inside for him to shield for the weak and helpless and bullied students like me.
The rich oppressed the weak and poor.
No matter where I go it's still the same.
But - But - " Is there still no way....? " I looked at him with last hope, my strong will to not speak my inner thoughts broke and the dam to my eyes also opened up as tear drops started flowing down.
" Ahh... Akash, I said- " he looked at me sternly, " Strong boys don't cry. "
𝙳𝚊𝚖𝚗. 𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛.
Does this sentence in this kind of atmosphere match? This sentence was like a drop of oil to the crumbling fire, with one drop it ignited the inner inferno.
I gritted my teeth and cocked my eyebrow up slapped the table with my thin but raged filled hand where hot blood's running through the veins.
" Oh? How hypocritical of you...! DAMN WHO FUCKING SAID BOYS CAN'T CRY?! WHICH MOTHER FUCKERS SON SAID BOYS CAN'T ASK FOR HELP? BOYS DON'T EAT SWEET! BOYS DON'T ASK FOR MONEY TO GIRLS EVEN WHEN PENNILESS! AND WHO SAID BOYS CAN'T BE GAY??!!! "
Huff.... Huff... Huff...
Shit.
I shouldn't have... but... I don't regret it on second thought.
From childhood this hypocrisy was heard and I grew up hearing it and still surviving on hearing it.
My ears are numb to those words.
My heart is still rebellious and my brain is still trying to be sane enough and comply with those invisible rules.
The Principal silently looked at me. His expression said ' I need an explanation '.
I calmed down as much as possible, " Look, Principal, I know your contributions and efforts to make mine and others life a little easier. But I have to say with outmost respect some of your views on ' boys ' needs to be changed. " I unceremoniously drank the water from the glass of Principal and continued, " Sir, you are too rigid. Your thoughts are backdated. Eras are changing and boys should have the same freedom as girls. We also need help and support. Not all boys are 'strong' as you say. Maybe mentally or physically all boys has some or the other weakness. "
I tried to express my bottle up emotions to the one whom I know won't understand but still I did without knowing the source of my courage or it's a desperation.
" 𝗢𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝘀𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀. " came the reply with deep frustration, disappointment mixed in the stubborn voice.
I already knew his reply will be something which I don't want to know. Yet still, I had hope if ever miraculously he would agree to my statement and encourage me..
I had this hope as.. he was the only person to stay with me beside me till now... So why can't he...
I stared at him listlessly as I saw his lips move to speak further. His sharp eyes grew sharper as it looked inside my soul and it felt so suffocating as if his cutting me with those sharpness slowly slowly.
" Why don't you speak out your thoughts to the public? You think the era is changing then as per your words they should understand you better right? Then? Specially the younger generation. Then why do you have to face the bullies for being gay? Aren't they open-minded enough? " his few words damped my enthusiasm and my soul split in half.
" .... " I slumped in the chair totally exhausted from the previous rampant. I can't ever deny the harsh truth in his words though everything he said stung every pore of my heart.
A tear rolled down my eyes. A smile appeared in my lips.
Finally a laughter broke out in the silent room.
" Hahaha- haha- ha... " I rubbed the excess salty water roughly with the black hoodie sleeves.
" What I said was funny? " , finally a voice with suppressed rage spoke out as I saw his chest heaving up and down and face flushed red.
" No. No. absolutely no... but this society and reality is a big damn joke...Hahaha- hahaha-..."
I started laughing again and forcibly stopped myself with my hands pressing my mouth hard and biting my lip.
" Goodbye Principal. I need a break. I -"
I stood up from the chair without any care whether he will mind or not, whether this behavior is too immoral or not... I just..
𝗜 𝗝𝗨𝗦𝗧 𝗪𝗔𝗡𝗧 𝗧𝗢 𝗘𝗦𝗖𝗔𝗣𝗘 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬.
I went out and pulled the door nob without turning back when a weak voice deprived of the previous majesty with gentle care came, " Akash, I have great expectations of you. "
"....."
My knuckles turned white as I shut the door close while still holding the nob hard.
I gritted my teeth with extreme frustration upon myself.
I pulled the cap of the hoodie down till the extreme, wore my mask and took my bike from the parking and paddled to my apartment as fast as I could as if I'm on the run from the police.
Slammed the door and at last broke my defense and howled and cried with the fullest extent my lungs could allow.
𝚆𝚑𝚢 𝚊𝚖 𝙸 𝚍𝚒𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝? 𝙶𝚘𝚍, 𝚠𝚑𝚢?? 𝚆𝙷𝚈?? 𝙷𝚊𝚍 𝙸 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚗𝚘𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚕 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚘𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚎 𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚎𝚏𝚞𝚕?? 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚐𝚊𝚢 𝚊 𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚒𝚗?!
■□■□■□■□■
Like that the whole afternoon went by until a notification woke me up.
[ 𝗜'𝗠 𝗦𝗣𝗘𝗘𝗗 𝗗𝗘𝗟𝗜𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗬
𝙿𝙻𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙴 𝙾𝙿𝙴𝙽 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙳𝙾𝙾𝚁 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙳𝚄𝙲𝚃 𝙸𝚂 𝙱𝙴𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙳𝙴𝙻𝙸𝚅𝙴𝚁𝙴𝙳 𝙾𝚄𝚃𝚂𝙸𝙳𝙴.
𝚃𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙺 𝚈𝙾𝚄.
5 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁 𝚄𝚂 ;) ]
"..." Ah. Finally, the awaited thing came after the trashy day.