It hurts.
The sting that I felt in my leg was unbearable, I was losing so much blood. The pain was enough to make my fist curl to the cold snow. My body was shivering within the frigid air and silence, the darkness that engulfed my eyes made me blind to the truth.
I just cannot accept it. That attack made my leg fly elsewhere, it was not intact in my body anymore. But the pain in my leg is incomparable to the pain that I felt in my chest. It hurts, it was confusing. I do not know anymore.
I could accept my death if it was an attack from a monster or an enemy. But it was not, it was my so-called friends, the people that I loved the most are the ones who made me feel I was losing hope. Despair, sadness, a deep compunction towards confusion, hatred. The feelings that wanted to burst out of my chest are not something I could convert into words. But a single word, a single word was enough for me to express this uncertainty.
"W-why?"
"Silence, you traitor."
"T-traitor? Me? I am not, help me. I… am losing too much blood"
How did it come to this? I just wanted everyone to be happy. I want them to keep smiling. I want them to keep laughing.
My so-called best friend was the one who sever my leg and claim me as a traitor. My best of friends who I grew up with. The one to whom I trust my life the most. Everyone is surrounding me. Adventurers that I associated with, we traveled together, experienced such hardships together. We smile together but it was all for nothing at this moment.
Nobody decided to help, their face imbued by the expression of disgust and malice. It felt like they were bored enough watching and wanted me to be killed already. I thought of them as an ally, but I am wrong. I am mistaken that someone out there will take pity and defend me.
I crawl in the snow, but my weakened body was so heavy. I turned and I saw a girl looking away from this pitiful sight. Maybe, if I ask her she will help me I thought to myself. After all, she looks like she is bothered by her conscience, I knew her as a kind girl after all.
"Niel, please, heal me. I am begging you. It hurts, it hurts. I am your friend right?"
"S-shut up. I never been your friend. Just die already"
Her words pierce me to my chest and my grief started to leak. It was at this moment that I confirmed that no one was at my side. I am alone. Everything that we experienced together is only nothing but a delusion. It was all a lie that I made because I trust them. It was a mistake to trust them.
I look back and saw my beloved. My fiancé that I soon to marry. Now it all was shattered, my dream of living as a family with her now has a gigantic crack. A crack that will never be fixed, she is the center of all this misfortune. She is the reason why I will die.
My former best friend come forth and readied his sword. He is the prince of Erestia, the hero of warriors. Compared to me, I am nothing but a commoner who sticks with them. Now, I am convinced they saw me as nothing like a human but a parasite. I am just an archivist.
This may be the reason why I was betrayed.
"Y-you are joking rig- ack! Shiela, help me, I will forget what I saw. I will let you be happy. Please. I just want to live"
His sword pierce my back and I started to vomit blood. The metallic taste in my mouth was something that does not disappear no matter how much I spit. Such a bad taste, it was making me sick. Why am I so desperate to live? It does not matter, living has no meaning if my life was built by lies and betrayals.
"Ignore him. This is the end. I… won't let you suffer any longer. Any last words"
His voice sounds softer like he was regretting his decision, but I know, he knew that there is no turning back. What he had done was something irreversible, something that cannot be changed. Maybe in his heart, he was yearning for this all to stop, he wanted someone to step up and halt this cruelty. But none of it occurred. And now he was holding his sword, shaking mad as if splitting his own mind into two.
As I expected, this prince has a weak heart. It is making me sick
"I… I WILL KILL YOU, YOU TRAITORS! Even if you kill me now, I will always return. The ghost of the archivist will always return. Even if it as a corpse, or a demon. I will hunt you all down. I will shatter your bone and feed you to the pigs. This is a declaration of war you filthy trai-"
I was betrayed, I am not the traitor. They were the traitor. To think that I saw my fiancé making love to my best friend. To think that reincarnation to another world genre could actually intersect with NTR. I am quite shocked I admit, and to protect the prince's reputation, he decided to kill me instead. Yikes.
I didn't feel any pain when the sword cut my neck. But one thing is certain.
I am embarrassed, ghost of the archivist? Heck with that name. How could I face them now when I return? So cringe and cliche.
Okay, Kira, keep calm and don't panic. Death is the beginning of a new life. Call it reincarnation, ascension, or spiritual evolution but one thing is certain. Life is an energy that cannot be destroyed but transferred in another form.
As an archivist, I discovered that I only have a single power in this realm and I called it information retention. What I write cannot be destroyed and will be engraved to the world forever. It will survive no matter how everyone tries to get rid of it, even if they burn the pages of my book or bury it in the deep soil. It will appear again. My information was indestructible.
Because of this skill, I could memorize everything and delete it like a photograph on a memory card. But, after a few experiments on this skill and I discovered something. If I die, my skill will automatically save my memory and transfer it to the new body when I reincarnated. Making me somewhat immortal.
But that was about it, I cannot control what body my soul will transfer to. If I were to be reincarnated as fungi, then the information will be meaningless. Do fungi even have souls? That I don't know. Now, I just need to wait and…
"W-what? What the…"
"Shhh!"
After a second of complete darkness, I found myself walking at an eerie place with grumbling ground. I brought myself to look left and right and observe what was going on and found… fear. Giants, about 17-meter golem made of cluster of stones walk parallel to the horde of green creatures. A goblin about my height signaled me to shut up and drag me as slowly as possible in conformity to the path of the green goblins.
It was cold and smell like rotting flesh. I look below my body and found myself covered in green pigment and naked with a loincloth covering the darkest part of my body. My arms were thin and my right-hand holds an unsheathed weapon.
I touched my face and it felt rough and bumpy like it was filled with my teenage pimple.
"This is… A body of a goblin? I am a goblin this time?"
"Gya gu gu hya gu (Shut up, or they will hear you)"
"Gya gaga hu ga Rina ( Sorry, Rina) Ack!"
I felt a sting in my head. Slowly, my memory as a goblin and my memory as a human being were merging into this body and it creates a sudden stimulus causing my head to ache. I could remember my life as a goblin, how I grew and how I come here in this place clinging for survival. But the emotions I had when I was a human were recalled as I felt a premature lust for vengeance once again.
Right, I promised death to those who betrayed me and I will never go back from my words. Don't worry. Death is just an illusion, if they die they will be reincarnated. Although they will lose their memory in the process and a chance that their next life will be filled with more despair.
Just thinking about it made my heart race fast. I wonder if Mr. Prince charming could be a slave in his next life, will he understand the feeling of being as weak and socially lowly as I am? If Miss. Shiela could be a man in his next life, will he be upset when he found out his wife seeing someone else? My curiosity drives me mad, but just imagining this scene made me think it was far too boring.
I want to slice them alive, pull their teeth, and hear their shouts. Maybe, they will understand me better if I punish them when their memories are still intact. No, this is still boring, what if I just murder all of humanity so that they could not be human anymore. No no no, What if I murder everything so that there will be no reincarnation at all? How curious.
Suddenly, as I walk, Rina, a goblin who signaled me to shut my mouth hugged me from my back and press my chest. Her left hand was holding my nose to halt my breath. A white worm emerges from the golem's leg and browses the place, finding his prey to be devoured.
I do not know anything about these gigantic white worms without eyes, even in my human life I have not seen anything like this. I just knew that it lived within the body of the golem and react to sounds which is why the traveling group of goblins was careful in making any noise possible.
My racing heart wanes its vigor as Rina pressed to it. The white worm reacted to my heartbeat which had enough threshold to create a response. If it was not for Rina, I bet I had already died there and now. As it returned to the golem's body and relaxed, Rina whispers into my ear.
"Ga gahu ga? (Something wrong)"
"Hu gya ha ha ( No, don't mind me)"
Just a few meters in front of us, a hunter goblin scold us to remain quiet. But he didn't mind his own noise he was spouting.
"huh ya gag a hu gya gra ta gahu- (quiet children, mind your steps and be careful in making noise or-)"
He was skewered by the white worms with enough force to drill a hole in the ground. After he was dragged towards the golem, the white worm emits a strange vibration that made the other worm in the golem react. Several worms emerge from the golem and share the food, wriggling as if they were happy feasting in the flesh of the poor goblin.
Everyone didn't mind it, they just keep walking, ignoring those who passed and skewered. Death is a goblin's everyday life, with their reproductive capability, they just kept reproducing to keep their clan alive. But they will not leave anyone who could be saved, like Rina who doesn't get tired of protecting me when I messed up.
Although, once in a minute, someone will die. That was just it. This endless horde of golems and goblins traveling in a steep rocky slope was just a recipe for one-sided annihilation. Because the hunter goblin who just died right now was in fact very close to us. I nearly stumble to the ground but once again, Rina captured my fall.
"gya ga (t-thank you)"
"Mmm…"
I saw someone in the front, an old goblin was trying to tell us something using hand signals. I better tell it to Rina as she knows more about it than I do.
"Gurga hay ga (The elder is signaling something)"
"Ga gava ha… (No way… )"
Rina's body became stiff, fear was suddenly broke in her eyes. She was trying to hold back but if it were not for our condition, I bet she already shout. It worried me, a fearless person such as her suddenly change in this way.
"gra hu gaga hya ga ta? ( Why? What did the elder say?)"
I asked promptly, she turned at me and smile roughly with tears starting to fall in her eyes.
"ha graya… ya ga… (The demon lord… is here…)"