The rich aroma of dark roast coffee filled the small studio as the automatic coffee maker switched on. The Franklin Street "R" train stopped abruptly, shaking the walls of her tiny upstairs room, this was Heaven's clock. That and the smell of the pastries of the downstairs bakery, both ran like clockwork and attracted the early morning commuters that stood out front waiting for either a bus, train, or fresh baked pastry. Every morning it was the same thing, loud conversations, screams, and the sounds of stop and go traffic. At first, Heaven hated the hustle and bustle of the downtown crowd because she could never sleep past seven, yet now it was a blessing because she could never oversleep.
Heaven grabbed her ladybug coffee cup and sat near the open window listening to the morning hustle from regular customers and also watched the prostitutes and pimps try their fleeting luck as the sun peeked over the railroad tracks of the terminal, making the night scatter like roaches in a brightly lit room. She pulled her knees closer to her chest, hugging them, forcing the chill out with the warmth of her own embrace. She smiled as her body heat and the coffee began to warm her, she prayed," thank you God for what I have, it could be worse. Protect me today and free me from this life." A ray of warm sunlight kissed her cheek, causing a smile to slowly form at the edges of her mouth.
Heaven turned and watched the last commuters board the #20 train, heading toward NE Philly, making the morning quiet once more. The peace and quiet caressed her tired eyes, calling to her tired body; making the idea of going back to sleep seem like a good idea. Did Olive Garden really need her today? She grabbed her wallet and checked to see how much money she had, a few singles and a coupon for a free sandwich at the local roach coach. She forgot how she got the coupon but remembered how their cheesesteak subs were worth the wait. She found her bus pass and her lucky poker chip. It was settled, she needed the tip money from both her waitress job and from "PINK"; it was going to be a long day, another sixteen-hour day. Heaven pouted as she ran her hand against her comforter that rested on her still warm futon. She forced the thought out of her head and crossed the room to her sink and toilet that was separated by an office partition. It wasn't a full bathroom, but it was better than sharing a bathroom with others. She finished her morning ritual and walked toward her bed. She pulled the pillows and blankets off and then folded and dragged the heaven wooden futon from in front of her door back to the middle of the room, this was her makeshift security system. Anyone who could break down the reinforced oak door and get past the heavy wooden obstruction without waking her was going to kill her anyway, yet the extra work in the morning was worth the peace of mind. She grabbed her grandmother's afghan and spread it over the back of the red and black cushions before adding her two ladybug throw pillows, one at each end. Ladybugs were lucky and Heaven believed that she needed all the luck she could get.
Turning on her father's clock radio, the only thing she had left of him, she found her favorite station and began to dance to Katie Perry's song: I kissed a girl. The coffee and music began to wake her tired body, giving her the motivation that it took to clean her neglected room before she went to work.
Heaven took a few steps and looked toward her living room window, which was just the other side of the room, and noticed that the plant that she had adopted was no longer brown, the water and dish soap revitalized the little spider plant, it could possibly be a good day today. She took a few more steps across her room to where the kitchen was and ran her hand across the empty microwave stand that sat next to her coffee pot on an old card table, knowing that one day she would be able to actually cook food one day and not live off of coffee pot hot water and ramen noodle soup. She would buy a toaster over or a really nice microwave, one that had a bunch of buttons and made a lot of different sounds. The thought of buying a stove and a refrigerator for this small room that she was planning on leaving made no sense, so a nice microwave made sense. She could carry it when she moved. The thought of making any place a home would have to wait until she escaped Bruno and found a man who would love her like the men on the young and restless, a man that would love her like Jesus; a man that could love a whore.
She grabbed her work clothes off the hangers in her small closet and searched through a few boxes that had her socks, panty hose, and other stuff that could fit in a box. Living out of boxes sucked, yet it allowed her the ability to move quickly if a mark became hostile or if she could ever make her get away. A picture fell to the floor that was stuck to her panty hose. It was a picture of a time when she had been trying to forget. It was a picture of a time when this nightmare had begun. Why had she kept it? She gazed at the picture and remembered the phone ringing at her mother's house, a place that she hated being at. Her mother answered the phone and began laughing hysterically then called out to her," hey slut, your useless father is finally dead. He had a drug overdose, I'm free!"
Heaven began to cry, wishing that it had been her mother instead. Her mother was a junky also yet was worse because there was no limit to her cruelty when she needed a fix and was geeking. That night, she would find out how cruel her mother could really be. Before her father's blood had cooled, heaven was sold to the local pimp who owned both her mother and more than half of the town. Her mother was given the ultimatum from Bruno," You have two options, queeny, you can give me the money for both you and your dead husband's drug debt or you can sell me your daughter," the look on Bruno's face gave Heaven the creeps," fair exchange. I'll also throw in a few bundles, okay. And to sweeten the deal even further, as for your future debt, you can be my bottom bitch so you can earn your freedom. Whata ya say, queeny?" he rubbed his hands together and licked his lips. Bruno handed her a few bundles and a setup. She looked at the silver foil and then at her daughter and then smiled, taking the drugs, "Heaven, come meet your new daddy!" her mother said with no remorse in her eyes as she twirled her hair with her finger. Queeny turned and wasted no time and pulled a spoon out of the drawer, placed a flame under the spoon, adding drops of water that were filtered with a cotton ball, then added the contents of the foil pouch. The amber liquid began to bubble, and a wicked smile erupted on Queeny's face, revealing both rotten and missing teeth. She pulled the plunger and watched the liquid fill the syringe as she kicked off one of her shoes, sliding the needle between her toes and pushed all of her pain and regret out of her mind with her thumb. The warm liquid traveled through her veins and hit a switch deep within her brain, transforming her into the hidden teenager that lived within her. Queeny began to dance and twirl as if nothing else mattered. She began to rub her hands all over her body and then smiled as she looked at Bruno, unbuttoning the top three buttons of her stained blouse and rolled the top of her jean shorts down, showing her skinny mid- section and panties. She skipped over to Bruno and kissed him on the cheek," Ima go make you some money, Daddy." She walked to her daughter and said, "be a good girl, Heaven. Mommy loves you." and she skipped out of the living room and then out of the house into the streets.
Heaven ran to her room and locked the door and turned on her favorite CD, blasting Amy Lee's voice through her sound system. Heaven looked around her room and noticed the window and tried opening it but remembered that her mother had screwed it shut.
The door flew open as Bruno's bodyguard kicked the cheap door open, breaking the door frame. Heaven tried to scream and fight through the man's giant embrace, feeling the air get pushed out of her lungs as he grabbed her. She bit him and then ran like a scared animal to the other side of the room, only to get knocked out by a fist to the sole plex," shut up, princess, you're only making it worse for yourself. The room darkened as Amy Lee's voice screamed, then everything went silent.
Heaven woke up with a headache, sore ribs, and the taste of blood in her mouth," Where am I?" she asked the room as if it could talk.
A voice behind her startled her, "You're in the thinking room."
"Thinking room!?" Heaven rolled over and noticed a young woman laying on a bed adjacent to her. She tried to sit up and winced at the pain of her body weight shifting against her bruised midsection," No, I mean where am I?" She reached for her head as a shooting pain flashed white behind her eyes, "I mean location."
"Oh, sorry. You're at Bruno's. He puts his girls in this room when they act up or get beat up too badly by a John," the young lady made a face and held her fingers up quoting Bruno in a sarcastic fashion," he says that he can't have his girls bruised or bleeding, it looks bad for business."
"Who is this, Bruno?" Heaven said angrily.
"Have you been living under a rock…" she paused, her mouth fell open as she asked, "What's your name, sweetheart."
Heaven didn't like the tone in which she asked that question and answered hesitantly," My name is Heaven, why?"
"That's funny, your mom gave you a stripper's name, you will fit in just fine around here." she sat up with the realization of who heaven really was," oh my god, you're Queeny's daughter, aren't you?"
"You know my mother?" Heaven stood up and walked across the room, standing in front of the girl's bed," where is she? I know that she can get me out of this mess, she just needed a fix. Once she is back in her right mind and realizes what happened here it will all get resolved, right. It's all a misunderstanding…" Heaven's bottom lip began to tremble, and a tear fell to the floor.
"You wish, sweetheart!" a tear of her own fell from the tip of her nose, splashing onto her blood-stained pillow," I'm so sorry. I have some really bad news for you," she paused for a second as she took a deep breath, trying to compose her thoughts," your mother sold you for a small three-hundred-dollar debt. Then she went and got herself killed a few hours ago, a john did it. They say that he spiked her dope with battery acid because she wouldn't do what he wanted sexually. God must really hate you, or something. How do you lose both of your parents and freedom on the same day?" the girl began to sob for heaven," I thought my life was bad."
Heaven perked up with an idea," I will go to the cops." and turned for the door.
"Stop!" the girl sat up slowly. A bloodied gauze necklace surrounded her neck," He will kill you before you make it to the police. Besides, Bruno owns the cops in this part of town and most of west Philly. The only way out is to buy your freedom, one John at a time," her body shook as more tears came, this time the tears fell harder and faster. She wiped her face with her sleeve and rubbed her eyes looking at Heaven before continuing to speak," if you can survive their cruel love and strange requests. We are just fresh meat for the slaughter, Heaven."
"Is that what happened to you?" Heaven asked as she sat at the edge of her bed, looking at her neck, "did a john do this to you?"
She looked down and began to fidget with her fingers, the odd silence was deafening" No…" her bottom lip began to quiver as she removed the gauze from around her neck," I tried to kill myself. I can't take one more day of this life. I thought I could handle it, but all they care about is getting their rocks off. On a good day, I can sit down without crying. I haven't been able to go to the bathroom in a few days, I didn't know this life was…" she shook her head," I come from a good family, a family that is looking for me. The problem is, I owe Bruno money because of my drug habit, and I am too ashamed to ask my dad for the money, so he probably thinks I'm dead."
"What is your name?" heaven asked as she scooted closer as she put a hand on her blood-stained shoulder.
"It doesn't matter. I will be dead in a few weeks, so don't get too attached to anybody, especially the johns and marks. They don't love you no matter what they say or how many times they say it. They only love…, you'll figure it out." she laid back down and turned toward the wall," are you a virgin, Heaven?"
"Yes, that's a weird question, I'm only fifteen."
She faced Heaven and opened her nightstand," Here, take this and go into the bathroom and take your own virginity." she handed heaven a glass shaped penis and a tube of K-Y," don't let them take nothing from you, especially that. It is bad enough that they are going to feed off of your pain and take away your soul…" she slammed the drawer shut and rolled over again," you better listen to me before your initial. If you don't do it, they will."
Heaven sat on her bed and threw both gifts onto the closet floor, trying not to think about what was coming her way. She laid back and closed her eyes about to fall back to sleep when a knock on the door sent a chill down her spine.
"Heaven?" an older lady poked her head around the pink door, "I'm here to give you a physical before you start working with us, are you ready?"
"Where is my mother?" Heaven said as she jumped to her feet, forgetting about her side and mid-section; a searing pain ripped through her body, making her sit back down.
"I told you already, Heaven! What are you stupid?!"
"Angel eyes!" the older woman said," that is no way to treat our newest family member. Keep your mouth shut if you can't be nice." a smile crossed her face as she looked back toward Heaven," my name is Peaches and I will be your new mother, I'm in charge of this house. I will make sure that you are ready for work. But first, I have to make sure that you are ready to meet Bruno in the morning. So, if you don't mind, will you please follow me, sweetheart?"
"You're gonna wish that you listened to me, stupid." Angel eyes said just loud enough for Heaven to hear.
Heaven walked out of the room following Peaches, looking at Angel Eyes, hoping that she was wrong and just filled with misery from her bad choices in life.
They walked down a set of neon pink stairs into a large stainless-steel room that was cold and fully equipped with hospital equipment," take off all of your clothes and sit on this table, legs spread open okay. We are going to do a pap smear today. Take your time, I will be back in a minute, I have to get my assistant to draw up the paperwork, okay?"
Heaven nodded slightly and began to look around the room, trying to recognize the tools that sat next to the examining table where she stood.
A moment later, three women came into the room, patting their eyes as if they had been crying," Are you ready, sweetheart?" Peaches asked as she wiped her own face with her sleeve.
"Why are you guys crying?" Panic and fear jumped on top of Heaven's chest. She curled up into a ball and tried to hide her naked body.
"This is the worst part of the job, sweetheart. I sat in that very chair when I became a part of this family, it's part of the process. We just understand…" she stopped speaking as one of the other women patted her shoulder," never mind, it will be just fine.'' Before Peaches finished speaking, all of the women surrounded her," we will be as gentle as we can, sweetheart, but this is going to hurt. Please lay on your back and squeeze this if you need to." Peaches said as she handed her a pink teddy bear.
Heaven could feel the other women grab onto her, holding her down as Peaches started the examination.
A minute later Heaven felt pressure and then a deep searing pain," I'm sorry, sweetheart, we are doing this for your own good. Try not to scream, you're gonna attract the wild animals. Heaven could barely hear what Peaches was saying because of the pain and then she noticed the blood on Peaches gloves. Heaven looked around and noticed a tube of Nova Cain and the same tube that angel eyes had given her, they were both bloodied. She began to cry as she realized that this was not an examination but what she was warned about, they had done what she was unwilling to do. She had just lost something that could never be found again. She should have listened to angel eyes, yet again, she never listened to anyone.
A moment later a man stormed into the room and smiled at Heaven with an evil lust filled grin. Peaches stepped in front of the man and said," No, Bruno, she's not ready yet." and held her hands out, trying to block him.
Bruno punched Peaches in the face and said," You my bottom bitch and all, but don't never tell me what I can do wid my own puss…" before he could finish what he was saying he slipped on the gelatinous mess that pooled on the floor where Peaches did her examination and knocked himself out cold.
Peaches got up off of the floor and pushed the two women off of Heaven and grabbed her, pulling her away from Bruno," we need to get you in the shower and cleaned up. God must love you because He just saved you from a lot of pain. Eventually, you are going to have to meet Bruno and he will have sex with you, he owns you right now, unless you have family that can save you."
Heaven shook her head and began to cry, she was numb. Were both of her parents really dead, did she really belong to Bruno? Was she going to have to have sex with that disgusting man, why had this happened to her if God loved her like Peaches had said? There were more questions than answers. This was a bad dream, and she would wake up any second now with her father holding her and brushing her hair out of her face. Peaches stopped in front of a large closet and pulled out a bag filled with cosmetics, towels, clothes, and a make-up kit," in the morning you will have school, this is not public school, no, this is Peaches beauty school. Ima teach you how to dress, do your make-up, and take care of yourself." she handed Heaven a sheathed boot dagger," and Ima teach you how to use that," she pointed at the dagger," these men think that we are nothing more than meat for their consumption." she looked at Heaven with serious eyes, "You better learn how to Love Bruno, this is his world, he can make you or break you, understand? You do what he wants and when he wants it, okay. He will have his fun with you for about a week and then you will be given your own room and learn how this life works." Peaches was no longer the motherly figure that she had portrayed earlier, now she had become cold, blunt, and to the point. Before I say good night, I have to take your picture, okay, one for me and one for you. Never forget this day, it will be the foundation for the rest of your life, become better not bitter." with that she pulled out a camera and took two polaroid pictures, handing one to Heaven.
Heaven held the picture and came to as the "R" train stopped, shaking her entire room. She looked around and began to laugh, she had survived. It had been a long nine years since that horrible day. She fingered a tear and forced the rest of them along with her emotions and memories to go deep back inside of her again, hiding the picture again in a better spot. She looked into her compact mirror and said," It's okay! Today is not the day we fall apart." she smiled into the mirror and dabbed her tear ducts.
Heaven took a deep breath and closed her eyes and visualized the little girl living inside of her and told her to go hide for right now. Then she willed the sexy street-smart women out, the woman that made men beg for her attention, spending everything they had to see her sweet ass dance. These men who spent thousands of dollars a night on her with the hopes of getting their dicks wet in the V.I.P room. Heaven made sure that these men held on to those dreams by allowing them to touch her silky-smooth tight body while she danced and nibbled on their ears, making them fall captive under her spell. She was Heaven and everyone wanted to go to Heaven, right? This was her world, and this was a place where she was in control of not only her body, life, and these men, but she was also buying her freedom back from the one man who had stolen everything from her. She was almost free.