Tae's P.O.V
I woke up a few hours later after the accident. I was still subsequently disgruntled by what had happened and couldn't get over the thought that I had either survived without a single scratch or, as Tom kindly put it, "Came back to life." How is that even possible!?
I got up from the bed and began to walk around the small building in search of TomCat for comfort; he wasn't in any of the rooms and the thought of being alone here scared me more than it had before. Normally, I wouldn't be bothered by Tom being out but now, I felt helpless. My mind began to scare me with thoughts that my best friend was now avoiding a monster like me.
I eventually rested in the kitchen with a small block of muenster cheese and some fruit to console my feelings. It didn't help much but I ate anyway in order to fill my stomach anyway. My eyes remained glued to the window that sat just above the countertop; it looked out towards the back road that the performers often used to leave the grounds without having to go through the front gates and on the other side of that lay the perimeter of the forest that isolated us from the rest of the world. The forest, although serene, scared me; I wanted nothing more than to go back to the town and see the different buildings and people and feel normal because I blended in. I wanted to forget about what just occurred in the Big Top.
What am I? I thought to myself, biting into the cheese and leaving a rather interesting bite mark. I've known my teeth my whole life and they never left that sort of pattern. Perhaps it was due to the fact that my baby teeth had fallen out recently and my big teeth had grown in. Whatever the case, the mark in the cheese fascinated me and I quickly got up to search from some sort of reflective surface.
I found one in the hall in the form of a mirror, and I stopped to stare at it for a long time. My reflection looked like any other normal human being; my blonde hair draped over my shoulders in thick waves, my childishly round face beginning to finally sharpen and thin out. My eyes were large and shoved deep inside my skull, creating unwanted dark circles around my eyes. Even if I weren't a monster... I sure looked the part.
Eventually, I opened my mouth to examine the culprits that had created the strange bite mark in the cheese. Sure enough, my canines and the two teeth behind each canine were much longer and sharper than the rest of my teeth. I felt my heart sink as questions began to flood my mind; confusing me with each inquiry that I had and forcing me to unwillingly rethink who I was.
Maybe I am a demon. I considered with dread. Maybe Daddy was right... maybe I am a freak.
Evidently, I ended up standing in front of the mirror until Tom decided to come back from the Big Top to check on me. It relieved me when I learned he wasn't completely avoiding me but I was still wary and I felt horrible about myself and what happened.
He was about to go down the hall to enter the bedroom but he halted when he caught sight of me in the hall, staring at myself in the mirror with a blank expression.
"Tae?" he called gently, knocking me out of my deep trance and forcing me to turn to him.
"H-how are you feeling?" he wondered quietly, anxiously wringing his hands as he spoke. I remained silent for a while as I watched him stand in front of me as if he was preparing to tell me some bad news.
"I feel... fine... I guess"
"That's good... listen... I need to tell you something..."
Oh... so he was preparing to tell me bad news... I thought as I watched Tom's solemn expression fill with dread. I knew without a doubt this news had something to do with my accident; why else would Tom be so anxious?
"Your accident on the high wire... it terrified the crew and... inspired them... I'll admit, I probably scared them too because they seemed cautious around me, but you... you concerned them more... and they decided a stage name for you," TomCat paused as he wrung his hands anxiously.
"What is it?" I wondered with a sinking feeling. Tom sighed; either to calm or prepare himself for the next line, I'm not sure. Either way, I was anticipating his response.
"Now Tae... you have to promise me that you won't get mad at me or the crew. It's just a name... They want to call you Demon." he explained. I felt an intense pang in my chest and a lump began to grow in my throat from hurt. I was aware that I scared everyone but I didn't mean for it to happen! To think that the performers would even consider calling me such a name put me on a deeper level of hurt. I thought these people were my friends...
Unable to keep my emotions at bay, I began to cry and Tom's expression grew panicked... but he didn't come to comfort me like he would out of instinct.
"I'm sorry I'm not normal!" I whimpered, hiding my face in my hands. "I didn't mean to scare everyone!"
Tom frowned with sympathy and knelt down to meet eye-to-eye, "Oh, Tae, it wasn't your fault. You didn't know the rope was broken..."
"But I'm a monster! I don't want to be a monster!" I sobbed, backing away from him slightly in fear that I might randomly snap and hurt my dear friend. Tom lowered my hands from my face and held my tear-stained cheek; he gazed at me calmly with a sad look in his puppy-dog eyes and a reassuring smirk on his lips.
"I know you and you are not a monster... you're just a bit... well... different..." he stated softly.
"Different is a nice way to call me a freak!" I pointed out, still tearful and whimpering. Tom sighed and finally brought me in for a comforting, tight hug. I continued to cry into his shoulder; however, I couldn't continue for long, as I soon melted into his embrace and the safety it gave me. Warmth radiated off of him and the familiar smell of hay and buttered popcorn filled my nose and sent me into a state of bliss.
Tom situated himself to be more comfortable and pulled me into his lap in order to hug me tighter. I curled myself into a ball and clutched his shirt like a safety blanket, calming myself down with the allaying thought that I was in my best friend's arms; the only safe space that truly made me feel sheltered in this oh-so-paradoxical place.
Tom soon got up, though, so I couldn't fully melt and fall asleep. Yet, to my relief, it was only to move to the sofa for a more agreeable spot. He hugged me closer, gently squeezing me in the process and pressing me so close to his chest that I could hear his strong heartbeat. It beat rhythmically in his chest and the monotonous sound massaged my eardrums like a lullaby and sent me into a meditative rest.
I rested there in my heavenly snooze as Tom held me, one hand hugging me close and the other gently caressing the exposed skin of my thigh. I paid no mind to it at all, for it didn't bother me; why should I be bothered by it? Tom did this all the time and I never found anything wrong with it; I'm sure many other people have friends like Tom. Many other people do need friends like Tom. Nobody has ever cared for me like he does.
Unfortunately, our wholesome relaxation didn't last long. Merely ten minutes after I had just about drifted to sleep, a loud knock at the door burst through the placate silence and caused both Tom and me to jump in surprise. Tom swiftly lifted me off his lap and set me on the cushions next to him, pulling my skirt back over my legs as he did so. I, meanwhile, remained disoriented from being suddenly awakened.
The ringmaster smoothed out his shirt and fixed his hair quickly before calmly opening the door and greeting whoever waited outside.
"Yes?" he greeted the culprit of the loud knock smoothly. From inside the house, I could just barely make out the voice of FatCat respond with, "We have an interesting fellow here who claims he's a 'professional' knife thrower. I think you should check him out,"