Summer Vacation for the children had arrived once again, yet I'm stuck here baby sitting while going to work. I can't seem to catch a break sometimes. As much as I love my family they can be quite the handful. My sister, Elizabeth had twins recently I don't remember how recent it had been though. Twin girls to be more specific, she came up with Sapphire and Garnet for their first names and decided with her name and mine for the middle names too. I didn't know how to feel when she brought it up. But I didn't protest over it as I knew how stubborn she is.
"You can lead a horse to water. But can't force it to drink" was something my father would say about her. I don't understand things, things being my sister or my parents or people in general. But they sure make it easier to make sure they explain themselves. Even when I don't ask them to.
Day dreams are all I have for the moment, even after they seeped into my normal dreams. I suppose when it came down to it, I'm just jealous of my sister and older brother for having a partner. I never told them of course, out of fear perhaps or something else.
My sister took her kids home after I got back from work that week. I didn't ask about what she was up to or why I needed to baby sit her kids. "Not your place to ask her that" kept playing in my mind whenever the urge arrives. I walked inside my apartment, shuffling groceries inside. I ordered take out again that month. I had barely enough to cook let alone care for myself.
I sat on the couch after locking the front door, sighing and kicking off my shoes. "This family is going to be the death of me." I mumbled to myself.
Jason was supposed to come over with his boyfriend for dinner. But something came up and they had to cancel. I stood up, stretching like a cat that had been sleeping all day.
My brother and my sister were always shorter than me in terms of height. They'd groan on and on about how lucky it was. But I didn't understand, I still don't understand how it's supposed to lucky to be over six foot tall. All I see is a consistent need to duck while walking into rooms sometimes.
My father would mock, abuse and take advantage of me in ways that made me more than a little uncomfortable. "No guy would ever would want someone like you." My mother said to me, days after I turned thirteen years of age. She pulled my hair, ripping some of it out. "If you were half as talented as your older brother and beautiful like your younger sister, you'd have a better chance in this world." her breath reeked of alcohol and the perfume she wore didn't make her smell any better.
I shuddered shaking the memories from my head. I didn't want to remember that now. I stepped into the bathroom, stripping down to get ready for bed. "Not hungry right now, might as well eat later." The excuse I'd make most of the time. "But I might as well eat the pizza I ordered though."
I switched on the radio to get some form of background noise as I bathed. My phone however blew the fuck up, the amount of texts from my mother is an amount to say the least. Although I didn't want to answer any of her calls, she is too damn persistent in trying to find out where I lived.
She couldn't stand the fact that she couldn't berate me or hound me for being how she wanted to be. So I decided to cut them out as soon as I moved out. I told them to stop contacting me that I never wanted anything to do with them. Apparently that wasn't enough to get through her thick skull of hers.
They had this over-whelming need to control things. I had multiple summer vacation jobs growing up, but even then it felt like it wasn't mine. As they always took it from me saying they were raising me and that I should be grateful for what they're giving me. Another excuse was that I'd waste it on stuff I didn't need. Even though I earned it in the first place. They never did this to Jason or Elizabeth though. They were the precious angels.
I did try dating several guys before graduating secondary school and right afterwards. But it never really worked out, I never told anyone about it. But it certainly took a toll on my mental health. So I stopped dating and never tried dating anyone ever since.