I finally arrived at home after a few hours and when I did, it was quite silent. The door was open for some reason which shouldn't be the case. That's why I assumed that someone was home when I entered the house.
However, before I arrived here, I had already assumed that no one was around, since it was already around 9am, to which, is either work or school time. If I tried to go to school at this time, I would be reprimanded by the teachers.
I made my way to the living room, and to my surprise, mother was sitting on the couch while staring at the television, watching the news. I was confused for a bit since she's supposed to be at work at this time of the day. Looking around, there was no one around except mom, so I proceed to enter the living room.
"Looks like you're back." Mother said without looking at me.
"..." I remained silent.
"Why are you silent? It's not like I'm mad." Mother said, her tone was rather light and I can assure that she wasn't angry at all.
"Nothing... being with you alone in this house is a rare experience, so I was taken aback." I said as I approached her, before I sat next to her on the sofa. We both sat in silence for a while.
"Your father..."
"Hm?"
"I may not be angry at you, but your father is a different story." Mother said, her tone was quite serious, before she sighed in exasperation. But it wasn't directed at me, but to father.
"I'm sorry for troubling you." I told her, before she smiled softly at me, as she gently patted my head.
"After all you've been through, I'm a failure as a mother for not being able to stand up against your father for you." She hung her head in guilt.
"You don't have to feel guilty, mother." I reassured her. "You're not the one at fault here. It's father. So don't beat yourself up for something you can't avoid. Just treat father as something inevitable." I told her, surprising her, before her face broke into a small smile.
"I'm so pathetic. Instead of comforting you, I'm the one being comforted." She said to me.
"Huh..."
"Don't worry about your father, I'll take care of him for now." Mother said taking her hand off my head, before she stood up. "I need to go to work now."
"I see... take care."
"I will." Mother raised a hand at me and left through the front door.
Now I was all alone in the living room, thinking about what had just happened. I touched the part of my head that she patted for a bit, and recalled the memories from before.
In this living room, as if I was watching a scene enact, my memories replayed by itself like a movie.
Before father could punch my face once more because of an argument from the past, Kiyoshi-nii interfered. He grabbed father's wrist to stop his hand that was only an inch from my face, and glared at him.
"Wha-?! Why are you interfering Kiyoshi?!" Father said, visibly fuming.
"Right back at you. What do you think you are doing to your own son? Do you think violence is the way to resolve everything?!" He said quite angrily, making father grit his teeth as his eyes slowly become bloodshot.
"Why are you even defending this failure to begin with?! He's worthless! I don't even recognize him as my own son!" He said, making my heart throb heavily, as I hung my head down.
That was the first time father had said something like that to me, and that was the first time I felt alienated. Father's face was slowly covered by static lines and I couldn't see his face, and I couldn't hear his voice anymore. I started to become scared of that feeling and Hina who was at my side, comforted me. That's why I trusted her, at least I once did.
The memories started to fade, and I was slowly brought back to reality. It was eerily silent while my heart pounded like crazy just from seeing that memory. But soon enough, I calmed down.
I'm conflicted whether mother is on my side or not, but I'm better off ignoring that matter. This world I live in... I'm alone here and that's the truth. True, grandpa and grandma are exceptions, but they're not particularly within the range of my small world. Kiyoshi-nii was once within this world of mine, but before I knew it; I was already alone.
I stood up from the sofa and went into my room. On my table, I saw the picture of me, Hina and Kiyoshi-nii together while all smiling in a picture frame. Just seeing the picture brought back a lot of memories I really want to forget... that's why I shook my head to stop myself from remembering it, before it was too late... but one thought was left on my mind.
"I wonder if I'll ever be able to smile like that again..." My smile was bright and pure in the picture. On the mirror near the picture frame, there I saw myself. Just from looking at myself at the mirror, one word comes to mind.
"Gloomy."
I felt sad that my smile had already faded ever since I left my grandparents place. I guess nothing really lasts forever, and the smile I took when I left that place, disappeared as quicky as it appeared.
I put both my index fingers on the side of my lips and pushed it up, as if forcing myself to smile. And just like what I thought. A fake smile is completely obvious from a genuine one. I take off my fingers from my lips and sighed.
Time flew by and before I knew it, the sun had already set. I knew Hina and our parents were gonna be home soon. That's why I went to the kitchen and started checking the ingredients, and once I've confirmed that the ingredients are sufficient, I got to work.
Once I was done cooking, I arranged the table and put three plates and arranged it neatly. There, I set the dishes, and after that, I made my way to my room.
When I was about to go up the stairs, I heard the door open, and I turned my head to identify who entered, and it was Hina whose eyes became wide-eyed upon seeing me, before sprinting in my direction. She wraps her arms around my back and she hugged me tightly, while I almost fell to the ground due to the impact of the collision.
"Hina... I almost fell down you know..." I told her.
"...hic hic... I was really worried you know... I couldn't contact and call you, so I thought you had left us..." She said as she sniffled on my chest, making me sigh.
"If I wanted to leave you guys, I would've done that a long time ago." I told her. I know I'm lying, since, I really want to leave this house as soon as possible, but the situation at hand demanded this lie. Despite what she's done, she's still my sister, and that's why I'm considerate to her. If I told her I was leaving the house once I'm at the right age, I know she will try to stop me, and on top of that, she will get hurt. And I don't want to hurt her feelings.
"Hina... you can let go of me now." I told her, and she slowly released me from her grip. "I already prepared dinner in the dining room... I hope it suits your taste." I told her as she calmed down.
"You cooked?" Her eyes slowly lit up upon hearing that I prepared the food, and I nodded, before I made my way to my room once more.
"Wait!" Hina grabs my wrist and stops me in my tracks.
"What is it?" I asked.
"Why don't you join us for dinner?"
"I can't do that."
"Why not?"
"You already know why." She lets go of my hand and I go to my room in silence.
I heard footsteps in the house after a while, and I knew everyone was already home. While they eat dinner, I check the wound on my shoulder and it has already dried up. Regardless, it still stung a bit. However, it looks like I still need to put a bandage over it since it stands out.
The next day, father didn't confront me about why I didn't return home the other day, and I assumed that mother was probably the one behind it. Whatever she did to keep father at bay, I greatly appreciate it, since being scolded early in the morning would leave a bad taste in my mouth, and I don't want that.
"Can I walk with you, Hikari?" Hina asked as I fit my shoes into my feet in front of the door. Honestly, I'd rather avoid being seen with her at school. As I was about to make an excuse, I stopped when I noticed her pleading eyes. It seemed like she really wanted to walk with me to school.
"All right." I told her, and she immediately perked up. "But are you sure you want to walk with me?"
"What do you mean?" She was genuinely confused.
No matter how you look at it, the bright and popular Kawamura Hina is walking together with a gloomy person like me. Wouldn't damage her image? Regardless, I don't think she'll mind something like that. She's the sort of person who doesn't mind the trivial things, that's why I'll shut her question down here.
"Nothing."
Both of us walk to school together, and as expected, we got a lot of stares from a lot of students from our school. Some are in awe, and some are confused. And as usual, I ignore them.
"Hina, it's best we part ways here." I said when I spotted the gate of the school.
"All right, If that's what you want..." She said as she hung her head down. And that annoyed me.
"Keep your chin up." I told her while masking my annoyance while looking straight.
"E-Eh?"
"You're looked up to by students in our school, right? So don't hang your head down, it's a bad example."
"A-All right." She said, and I picked up my pace, leaving Hina behind.
"Um...!" Hina called out to me, and I stopped.
"Out with it."
"Yesterday... dinner was delicious, thank you." Hina said before she walked past me. I stood there a little bit baffled, before I continued to walk.
"Good grief..." I muttered.