How am I supposed to feel about this? No, how exactly should anyone feel about this!?
People should be mad, right? Or they should feel pain? Or even affection, love?
To meet someone they have been thinking daily about, there should be negative emotions. That is what I think.
But why am I feeling like this? I was looking to build a family for the Goddess's sake!
"Please, Sam! *Sob* Please forgive me! *Sniff* This is all my fault! Please...*Sob* please...make it stop...make all of this pain stop *Sniff*...I beg you!!"
What is this? I don't understand anything! Why am I seeing this call? Why now?
More importantly, ...
Why do I feel nothing?
What is wrong with me?!
In front of me right now is Marie, my ex-crush. It looks like she has had a bad time these few days. The screen Yui is holding up for me at the moment shows only her face, yet I can see that her condition is by no means well. I should be concerned, I should even be mad. This is not normal.
The hair on her head used to be so well kept, but now they are just a mess. Her eyes are swollen and pink, as if she has been crying all this time. On both sides of her face, I can see the cheeks being inflamed. They puff up in a red color, showing signs of abuse.
I just...don't know what to say to her.
Should I say hello? How are you? Isn't that just ridiculous to ask such a dumb question?
I look at the heart rate monitor with curiosity, hoping to see some disturbance in measurement. And there is only a slight change in the numbers.
My heart beats fine, my blood pressure is fine. The graphs are probably all fine, too. They look stable to me.
There is almost nothing different between the current me who is video calling Marie, and me before that.
"Sam! I can see you there. *Sob* It has been all...*hic* My fault. You...only you can...*sniff* help me now..."
Marie has never been like this. Throughout the years we have been together, or I have been with her, to be more exact, she has never begged me for anything.
It was always me who kept on giving without asking anything in return. Damn, I was dumb...
And now, seeing her in this state, I just can not help but pity her.
Yes, I pity Marie.
I do not feel worried or sad. Neither of those feelings exists inside of me for her anymore.
All that is left is just pity.
I have thought about the moment we would meet again at school, how I would stay completely silent while she would be hugging the Hero and kissing him.
I have thought about trying to hold back my anger seeing her being with someone else. How I would clench my fists tightly until blood comes out.
I expected everything to be awkward between us. Of course, things would never be the same. The fact that I tried to kill Hero is there. There is no way for us to return to the old days.
Then why don't I feel any regret?
The moment I saw her face, I should have burst with hatred and wrath. In reality, I felt none.
Is it me who is strange? Or this is natural?
"Save me...Sam...*Sob* You're the only one...who can do that *sniff*? Hero..has left me *sob* I have no one left...I am alone, Sam...please! Tell them to stop! They are..."
The video call cuts off right when Marie is about to finish her sentence.
"Huh? What's wrong?" I turn towards the girls.
"Disconnection." The nurse says so.
I refrain myself from asking: "How would you know, Nycta?"
Some questions can be asked. And some should not be. I have a hunch already.
'Them' in Marie's words is probably related to Nycta, and probably Lily, too.
The timing is just too perfect, it is just impeccable. They went out for a little while, and later, Marie is captured by someone.
My ex-crush does not have an enemy. Or that is what I know of. I used to follow her everywhere so that I can be at least 90 percent sure. The only one who has had a bad encounter with her would be Lily.
And Lily has always been taking care of me. She cut Marie's finger off to protect me in the duel.
We all have a violent tendency, don't we...
*Doo doo*
There is another call from the other party. Yui first takes the phone back, not letting me see who the caller is. Although I could catch a glimpse of the caller's ID: Masked_Girl.
Pffft. What a straightforward name! This silly girl!
They probably think that it is better for me to not worry about what they are doing.
I just smile. These girls are too protective sometimes. Although strangely, my emotions are very stable, I can understand them somewhat.
Right now, the girls are the only ones that I have. I think I would do the same to them if they were put in the same situation. Only Lily, Yui, Yuno, and Nycta stand by my sides during all of this hardship. It is natural for me to be grateful. They deserve my respect just for being here.
"I'M SORRY! I'm sorry!! *Hic* I'll not say...*sob* redundant things...anymore...Please!"
Marie's face once again appears on the screen. She is now bleeding on the nose. On one side of her cheeks is a clear hand mark.
"That must have hurt a lot." I open my mouth. My voice is serene and calm.
I am actually quite surprised by it.
"It does! *Sob* It hurts...It hurts so much! *Sob* My face...my arm...my inside...*Sniff* It burns...Please, Sam...Forgive...me!!" Marie cries desperately. "I have...*sob* no one left...*sob* Sam...Do you still love me? *Sniff* You still love me, right?!"
As I am about to say something, she shouts as hard as she can.
"I KNOW YOU DO SAM! *sob* THERE IS NO WAY YOU STOPPED LOVING ME JUST BECAUSE OF THAT!! I BEG YOU! TAKE ME BACK! *sob* I CAN NOT LIVE LIKE THIS!!"
I keep quiet and let her continue.
"Sam! I have seen it! *Sob* You're the only one for me! *Sob* You are my hope! Take me back, I can still be your girl! *Sob* We can still go back to the old days!"
Shaking my head, I start talking.
"Why are you in such a state?"
She looks at both of her sides with eyes full of terror.
"N...no reason! Sam. *Sob* Please! Just say you need me! And I'll be fine!"
"Who is there with you? Are they the ones who did that to you?" I calmly continue.
"Th...there's no one here, Sam! *Sob* I just...Suddenly realize that you were the *sob* only one for me...That's all!"
"No, Marie. I am not."
"YES! YES, YOU ARE! TRUST ME! PLEASE! MY LIFE DEPENDS ON THIS!" She screams.
"I have struggled, Marie. A lot. Because of a promise we made."
"WE CAN STILL KEEP IT! THERE IS A WAY!"
"The moment I saw you kissing that guy, I was devastated. You know, I thought that I was dead on the inside."
"I'M SORRY! FORGIVE ME! I WAS A FOOL!"
"Challenging him was my fault. I wanted to commit suicide, but I was too much of a coward to kill myself. Would you believe that?
That was why I wanted to die by his hands. Then, you came in, and you decided to finish me off."
"SORRYSORRYSORRYSORRY..."
"It was Lily who defended me. It was someone I rejected many many times because of you. Answer my question, Marie. Why did you do that?"
Marie is wailing at this point. Her words are no longer intelligible.
"Why didn't you reject me earlier? Why did you have to kiss Hero in front of me to let me know I was dumped?"
These are the questions that have been plaguing my head. I just could not understand the motives Marie had. Since I was in love with her, I rejected everyone else. If she didn't love me, why did she keep me around for so long?
"SORRY. I'M SORRY. IT'S ME! IT'S MY FAULT."
I keep on asking, ignoring her tears.
"Why did you have to hurt me in such a way? Couldn't you just say it out?"
The girls have all gathered by my sides. They each try to hold a part of my body. The scent of their perfume calms me down and I can sense the heat of their bodies. Their warmth gives me a lot of strength to continue forward.
On the screen, Marie just can not find the right words.
In my heart of hearts, I know the answer.
It is very simple.
"Because I'm a convenience, aren't I?"
Hearing my words, Marie cries even louder. Her voice breaks completely.
'FORGIVEMEFORGIVEMEFORGIVEMEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE!!!"
Such a pity.
I sigh.
"I hope that you enjoy your decisions, Marie. Because this is it for me."
"NOWAITPLEASEDONTGO!!"
This is really the end. We all have to learn from our mistakes. For me, it cost me an eye to see these wonderful ladies around me.
For Marie, I don't know.
May the Goddess bless her path.
There is one final thing I would like to say. Not to Marie, though.
"Lily, Nycta!" I call out to the two girls not present in the room.
"Yes!" Voices of the two girls can be heard coming from the video call.
*Smack*
Yui and Yuno immediately facepalm.
"Be sure to return before dinner, okay?" I smile at the screen.
"YES! SAMMY!" I can hear their squeal of happiness.
I take a final glance at Marie. "Take care."
_________________
Down at the cellar.
"NOPLEASEDON'TGOSAM!! PLEASETHEY'REGOINGTOKILLME!!" Marie yells in despair upon seeing Sam cutting her off.
"Shut up, will you!" Lily turns at her. Her eyes are filled with happiness.
*Slap*
"Gaaaahh!!"
*Sob* *sob* *wails*
"Well, you heard him." Nycta smiles. "Let's finish things up."
Lily puts a finger on her chin and ponders. "So what should we do? Burn her alive? Or cum dumpster?"
Nycta looks at her in surprise. "Burn her alive?"
Lily then pushes a button. "I forgot. This place used to be a crematorium!"
The wall on one side suddenly opens up, revealing a small rectangular hole.
"NOPLEASENOFORGIVEMEDON'TWANTTODIE!!"
*Smack*
"Gaaah!!"
"Noisy bitch!" Lily exclaims.
"If you have no use of her, then can I have her?" Nycta goes closer to Marie.
Lily then asks. "For the vision?"
"Yep, and something else, too!"