Disha
"We have failed as parents," Dad exclaimed.
" We fight most of the time when we should have looked after the children," Mom whispered.
Mom and Dad were sitting together on the sofa but neither of them is giving attention to the other. They look lost and sad which made me cry seeing them like that.
" Mama, Papa, where is Yasmin?" I walked towards them.
" Disha, why are you awake? Didn't you sleep?" Mom questions me with a tired look.
" I couldn't sleep without Yasmin in the room and where is she?" I spoke holding my tears.
" Yasmin had fits. She has to stay at the hospital until the doctor says," Dad explained.
" What is fits?" I asked.
" When someone is so sad that their brain can not bear it... That their bodies start to shake uncontrollably...That's what fits are," Mom explains while holding her tears.
"Yasmin is sad?" I asked and Mom nodded.
" Yasmin is always sad after that night," I said.
This statement made Mom and Dad attentive and both of them lean forward.
" What night are you talking about?" Mom asked looking scared but why?.
" When Nana (grandfather ) kept dinner for everyone. That night Haniya and I wore the same dress. We were playing hide and seek, but we couldn't find Nina and Yasmin. They were hiding very good and we asked where they were hiding. Both of them never answer and Nina started to fight with Asha. Since then, Yasmin is always sad and Nina is angry," I said.
Mom and Dad looked shocked and stared at each other forgetting I am here.
" Mama, Papa what happen?" I asked
" Did anyone ever touch you?" Mom holds my arms and asked.
" You are touching me," I answered.
" Not this type of touch... Like did someone touch you that you didn't like or inside your pants?," Papa explained.
" Why would someone touch me there?" I made a disgusting expression.
Mom and Dad looked relieved later telling me to sleep as I have to go to school tomorrow.
As I was going towards my room, I heard someone calling me,
" Disha wake up... You are dreaming...Disha," The sound is similar to me but I can't recognise whose.
" Disha... follow my voice," I turn around to where the voice was coming from.
It was coming from Mom and Dad's room. I walked toward my parent's room and when I touch the doorknobs, I felt a blast of electricity through my body connecting me with someone.
I open the door and went inside to see, two wolves and Asha in the centre of the darkness.
" Where am I?" I asked
" You fell unconscious when Roshini opened the door. We tried to wake you up and you weren't responding so I used my powers," Asha explained.
" But that wasn't a dream...it didn't feel like one," I pointed to where I came from, trying to explain what I saw.
" No, it was a part of your memories that you forgot while growing up," Asha clarified.
I thought back on what happened before I came inside the room, the conversation I had with Mom and Dad. The realisation that the conversation meant made my jaw fall to the ground.
" Did you know?" I asked.
" I just found out as you did," Asha answered looking sad which mirror my expression.
" I need to talk with Yasmin," I said.
" You have to wake up for that," Asha stated.
" How?" I questioned.
The sound of whining turn my attention toward Halona who came beside me. Her head is downwards but her eyes were looking at me with an immense amount of sadness. I rapidly hug her and rubbed her black fur to make her feel better. I closed my eyes and continue to rub her yet she was whining and whimpering making me cry as well. I wanted to talk to her but I couldn't move my mouth, I tried many times yet fail. So I tried to open my eyes which felt heavy.
Slowly my eyes opened but I wasn't in the darkroom with Halona anymore instead I was in my room. Asha was on my right side, Haniya and Yasmin were on my left side, and Nina and Roshini were in front of me. All of them have surrounded me yet maintain distance.
" What happened?" Yasmin asked
I looked at my sister, imaging the amount of pain she had gone through. Realising why she had to go to therapy, why she become introverted or why she always wanted someone to accompany her to the bathroom in childhood.
" Disha, tell us what happened? You spend the night with Ace...Did you guys fight or what?" Haniya asked looking concerned.
After hearing Ace's name, I remember what happened last night. The emotional and physical pain he caused left Halona and me heartbroken. The pain came back like an old friend welcoming me to the darkness it brings.
" Why are you crying? Tell us," Asha begged, she looked desperate. Why won't she, she just found out about what Yasmin and Nina went through and now I look broken as I feel.
I end up crying harder than before. Nina hand me a glass of water which I gulped at once. Then I tried to control my breathing which took a few minutes and everyone was patiently waiting for my answer. Hence I told them what happened and how Ace confessed his feelings for me in the morning.
Everyone's aura showed they were shocked except for Yasmin and Nina. Yasmin's aura was filled with sadness and pity while Nina's aura was pure rage.
" Did you say no?" Asha whispered.
I nodded.
" He raped you," Yasmin announced making me look at her bewildered.
" No, I didn't stop him at first...," I was interrupted by Yasmin.
" YOU SAID NO THAT SHOULD HAVE STOPPED HIM AT ONCE," Yasmin screams.
Then Haniya told Yasmin to chill down and they look at each other. They were mind-linking each other, I don't know what they were saying but Yasmin left the room shortly followed by Nina and Roshini.
" You should sleep, Disha. Your body and mind need to rest after what you went through last night," Haniya said while noticing Asha looking disturbed.
After Haniya and Asha left me alone, I end up crying once again. Halona was continuously whining and whimpering in pain and sadness. I didn't realise when I fall asleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" Mama, Papa where are we going?" Yasmin asked.
" Well, we are going to a picnic," Dad spoke in excitement.
" It was supposed to be a surprise," Mom said.
" Sorry, I couldn't keep it anymore," Dad muttered.
" Wait, that means you are not getting divorced," Yasmin spoke with enthusiasm.
" Who said that to you?" Mom and Dad asked looking shocked.
" Nina and I saw it happening," Yasmin answered.
" Will you ever stop saying that you both can see the future? you both are crazy," I spoke in an annoyed tone.
" Disha, mind your language," Mom yelled at me. Great, thanks to Yasmin the fool, I got scolded by Mom.
" After the picnic, can we go to the water park?....please," Haniya begged. Then Yasmin and I joined her.
" We have to see. If we still have enough time after having the picnic, WE WILL BE GOING TO THE WATER PARK," Dad shouted at last which made the three of us scream in excitement.
It was the best day ever, for the first time I saw Mom and Dad joking with each other. I was loving to see them so happy with each other, at first Haniya, Yasmin and I were shocked then we hugged them tightly. While playing, Mom and Dad made sure we were in their sight, Mom was instructing Yasmin not to get tired.
After our picnic, we went to the water park. Mom allowed Yasmin for a small period and then refused her to play since she came from the hospital two days ago. Haniya and I made sure to tease Yasmin who started to cry shortly after since she wasn't participating in anything. That made Mom and Dad decide to go home resulting in Haniya and me groaning.
However, Dad took us to McDonald's to have burgers. Until our meal arrives, we were playing in the play area. Haniya suggested playing hide and seek but Yasmin right away refused. But Haniya and I were adamant to play hide and seek, which made Yasmin complain to Mom who supported her.
Yasmin was making me get angry multiple times yet I didn't allow it to spoil my day since I wasn't sure when will I ever see my parents happy as they were today. Haniya was also holding her anger for the same reason but both of us decide to make Yasmin pay for this.
After having an amazing day that ended up with having Mcflurry. I wish that my parents always be happy and don't fight with each other.
Yasmin came out of the bathroom, and then Haniya and I look at each other to confirm we have to do it now what we planned. Quickly, Haniya and I cornered Yasmin who got scared. When I touch her arm, she cries out loud shocking Haniya and me to step back. Dad ran inside our room, looking cautious when he saw Yasmin. His expression shifted from fear to sadness, he hug her and kept saying, " You are safe...you are safe..no one will hurt you when I am here," Mom was silently crying near my bedroom door.
" We didn't do anything," I rapidly said and Haniya nodded with me later explaining Yasmin started to cry when we corner her.
Mom and Dad took Yasmin to sleep with them and in the morning Mom explain to us. That Yasmin is not well and as older sisters, we should look after her, protecting not only her but each other. When Mom was done talking to us, Haniya and I were feeling guilty about last night. Therefore, we thought of making cards and cupcakes for Yasmin. Dad helped us make cards while Mom helped in baking.
While I was baking for the first time, I realised how fun is it to make. Mom promised me that every weekend, we will be baking and she will teach me the secret behind her famous sweets like ladoo, gulab jamun, kheer, etc. I got so joyous that I started to dance while I was standing on the stool. Mom warned me not to dance yet I did, making me fall.
When I open my eyes, I was in my bed rather than in the kitchen.
" Halona, what was that?" I questioned curiously.
" You were having a vision from your childhood ever since you were attacked but I stop them since it was bad memories," Halona sounded tired and soon she block me.
What was that?
The memories of my parents were happy and cheerful.
But why didn't I remember that? Why do I only remember the worse ones?.
Thinking about my parent's relationship, I wonder if they were happy after that day or did they went back to how they used to be.
Mom and Dad did fight but there was a difference. In the beginning, it looked so harsh that used to scare me but later it was normal...did I get used to their fights or wasn't that intense as it used to be. Their fight taught me to be calm and quiet when Ace is upset... Ace, how could he do that? Was Yasmin telling the truth that Ace raped me? Or she somewhat misunderstood the situation. Ace could never rape me... I was enjoying... at first though.
I pressed my hands to my head due to the headache of thinking about that. Since when has my life gotten complicated? I couldn't bring more tears yet the pain is fresh as a daisy.
I tried to stop thinking about anything because somehow it will lead to Ace... My mate who have flaws that question my love for him.
In order to stop thinking about...everything. I need to keep my mind occupied. So I went to take a wash, it was the longest shower I took since I was rubbing my body harshly so that Ace's smell could wash away. I wore the oldest yet most comfortable pyjamas I have.
Everyone was sitting at the dining table. All of them were looking at me in pity except for Edward who look at me with narrow eyes. His aura showed curiosity and a bit of worry as well.
" Is everything okay, Disha?" Edward asked when I sat opposite him.
I shook my head and asked, " Where is the lunch?"
" It's dinner time," Roshini muttered.
" What?" I am shocked.
" Dinner is here," Asha cheerfully spoke loudly while placing rice and chicken curry.
" I am not hungry anymore," I said and I was about to stand up that was when Nina said, " You need to eat something before taking the Plan B pill,"
I felt the time stop for a second. Ace didn't use any protection last night. He did it multiple times and I was lost in pain that I didn't acknowledge that detail.
" Disha...," Haniya's voice brought me to the present.
" Nina already brought the pill, you just have to eat something," She said.
I nodded and later thanked Nina who looked offensive. She doesn't like it when I behave formally with her but I didn't have the strength to talk to her so I focus on my dinner.
For every bite I had, I didn't taste anything or I didn't focus on it. I am only having my dinner because I could take a Plan B pill.
" How is the dinner, Disha?" Asha asked, it's a method to make me talk that's what she does with Nina at times.
" I can't taste a thing... it's tasteless," I answered which made Asha's eyes fill with tears but it didn't come out.
" Disha, there is a way that will help you feel better," Nina spoke covering her mouth as it was filled with food.
" What is it?" I asked desperately since I wanted the pain to go away and for once I could feel normal.
" Start to analyse everything about Ace from the beginning," Nina mumbled.
" Explain," I said since Nina's statement didn't make any sense.
" You didn't notice at first since you were blind in love or whatever you felt about Ace. That made you ignore the red flag Ace was or is," Nina explained.
" There wasn't a red flag," I said.
" Are you sure?" Nina looked straight into my eyes and I couldn't help but think... Am I sure there wasn't any red flag?.
From the beginning, when I met Ace. I felt I knew him...
" What if they don't like my true self?" Ace raised a question.
" Well, I like who you are then they will too," I retorted.
This made him laugh as I told the funniest joke and he counters attacked by muttering," We met each other yesterday, how come you are sure you know the real Ace"
The memory of Ace and I spending the time for the first time came back making me realise, how idiot I was? He warned me the next day we met yet I refused.
" Halona is there any other incident like that?" I asked.
" When mate got upset for the first time, you got scared of his expression because you doubted that it was a sincere emotion," Halona pointed out.
" Or how the majority of the time he doesn't let me finish talking or expressing my anger or disappointment towards him," I acknowledge.
Just like that Halona and I started to analyse everything with a new perspective. It didn't make me feel better instead I was getting angry with myself. I was been caution and finally, I thought I could save myself from a toxic relationship but I failed. Ace and I never had a serious fight like my parents but our relationship isn't normal. I indeed have changed from the night of the attack to now.
" Disha, here is the pill," Asha passed me the pill which I quickly had.
Then I went to sleep, my body was already tired while my mind was exhausted from thinking about Ace, Yasmin and my parents today.
" When will I ever become normal," I talked to myself even though I knew the answer that was never.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ONE WEEK LATER
"Ever since that night, I wear a mask. Pretend to be the old Disha, the caring one, the sensible one among her sisters. Now, I am a lie who can't look in the mirror," I shared my feelings with Yasmin and Nina.
" Disha, you need to seek therapy," Yasmin advised.
" You still didn't tell us how did Asha and you found out about that?" Nina asked.
" Ever since the attack, I had dreams of my childhood. One of them was a conversation with Mom and Dad...that's who I found out and Asha was in my mind that time," I answered.
" Yasmin wasn't raped," Nina said and I quickly looked at my sister with relief.
Nina left the room, " That's true?" I asked looking at Yasmin in tears.
" Yes and don't talk about it since Nina doesn't like it...I think it reminds her of that night," Yasmin spoke and I nodded in acknowledgement.
" Did you speak to Edward?" Yasmin questions me as I wanted to know what is the process of approval of the pack.
" I will," I said but I am no intention of doing it since I am ashamed to look him eye to eye.
I know Ace filled hatred inside of me about Edward and his cousin. I don't blame Ace but myself as I allowed him.
Halona whimpers thinking about Ace. That night shattered Halona's confidence as Halona no longer run in pride. She cries at the end of our run and the other wolves also show their sadness seeing their Queen broken.
" You have to talk to him one day since he is Haniya's mate," Yasmin said making me frown.
" It's better to do it now, Disha" Halona muttered. She hardly talks with me as she chooses to cry in pain.
" Okay," I said and went to the living room where Edward was sitting having whisky.
" Edward, I want to know the process of approval of the pack," I came straight to the point.
" After applying the application which has the candidate's background so the council check if the candidate has written the truth. Therefore, the council hired their specialised spies on this matter where the spies check the background and stalk the candidates for twenty-four hours. And through magic or kitsune, they make the scenario to test the candidate's ethical values, prudence and leadership skill in their dreams. They also do those in real life as well...These are confidential information so you don't share this with anyone," Edward explained.
" I won't," I said.
Now, I understand why Sabrina called Ace incapable and question his character. Ace failed to show his prudence, and leadership skills. Ace was born to become an Alpha but fate played a cruel game where his pack was killed. Maybe, if Ace had a normal life where his father could have guided him to be Alpha. But now he is an Omega, the lowest rank of the werewolf hierarchy.
Look at me, the girl who was a human. Who would have spent her life as a normal human where the supernatural never cross her path. But I was a fortune to be the greatest, furious WolfQueen yet I don't think I will ever become one. However, I will work for it for a single day as that's what Halona wants and deserves.
Ace and I suffer a lot as a child. We can't compare the hardship we face while growing up as everyone struggles and we can't measure it. We will get what we did, we will be blessed or cursed for what we do. But we will fight till the end.
" Come to the hall now," I ordered everyone through mind-link.
Then everyone arrived and Haniya was look sleepy ask, " What happened?"
" I have come up with a motto and you guys have to tell me how is it?" I said and everyone encourages me to continue.
" I received what I deserved,
reborn from the ashes.
I will rise from the ashes,
To seek what I deserved," I shared.
" Since when have you become poetic... I just loved it, it's like I got what I deserved from my doings then I will fight back to have what I deserved," Nina blurt out in excitement while having the biggest smile on her face.
" That's what I was thinking and then it just came," I spoke with the same enthusiasm as Nina.
" What do you all think about it," I asked looking at everyone.
" It's relatable," Haniya said.
" It's motivational," Roshini spoke next.
" I vote for this," Yasmin muttered.
" Same," Asha spoke in her high pitched voice.
" This can help Nina and me to design the pack sign and tattoo," Yasmin said.
" Absolutely...In fact, I have some design ideas as well," Nina said and went towards her room. Most probably she is going to do the design in her sketchbook.
" Well, that means the coronation is near," Haniya groan.
" Coronation was planned to be after six days," Edward muttered.
" Yes, but I thought without having a motto, pack sign, tattoo or name...It could have been postponed," Haniya explains the reason.
" Actually, I have thought of a name," Asha said
" What is it," Everyone in the room asked at the same time.
" Sol Hodu. Sol is a Latin word for sun and Hodu is the Biblical Hebrew name for India and is mentioned in the Old Testament. Also, this is the Chinese and the Japanese name was given to India by the Oriental scholars," Asha said.
" I am rooting for that name," Nina screams from her room making us chuckle.
" That's a good name," Haniya commented.
" That's final, our pack name is Sol Hodu," I proclaimed.
" The pack name and motto are decided. And I am sure, Nina and Yasmin will create a design for the pack sign and tattoo sooner. That means you ladies have more time to practice for Coronation," Edward said.
" Why do we even have to practice?" Yasmin the lazy ass asked.
" There are protocols that you have to follow as royals. It may seem outdated but it helps in the long run. So you should follow them," Edward advised us all.
"Especially, Roshini and Nina," Edward said making Roshini and Nina yell, "What?", " Hey," respectively.
" Why did you say Nina's name especially," Asha asked as she thinks Edward warns her about Nina. But he never is directed rather he give hint or beat around the bush.
" Those two can be reckless," Edward answered and Asha nodded in agreement.
" When we will be practising for the coronation?" Haniya inquires.
" Tomorrow," Edward said and pick his phone as it started to ring making Haniya frown.
" I am making a cheesecake. Can you help me, Disha," Asha asked.
" Hell yeah," I said.
" I took out all the ingredients we will be needing," Asha said while we entered the kitchen.
Then we proceed to work.
" How are feeling to be WolfQueen after six days?" Asha asked.
" I am hoping Halona gets better and it's working as Halona feels happy and excited for the coronation," I answered as I don't know how I am feeling. Asha got the hint and hums in response.
I look at Asha, who knows how to act or what to say to another person. How does she do it?.
" Why are you staring at me," Asha didn't look at me but continued to work on the Japanese cheesecake.
" You know what to say or act to make the other person feel better. How do you know it?" I questioned.
" I learn it when I was a kid. I become an empath from being a bitch. Do you remember how I used to be?" She asked while laughing.
" Yes, I do. Haniya, Yasmin and I used to call you spoiled brat behind your back. To be honest, I hated you when we were young," This made Asha laugh harder.
" I was a troubled child. I made Ma cry as she was fed up with my behaviour towards the servants," She shared her memories making me surprised.
" Really?" I said in an unbelieve tone.
" So what happened? Did Chacha and Chachi ( Uncle and Aunty) beat you to behave?" I joked.
" No, they are against the concept of hitting the children. It was Nina... when we were young, she could have the episode from a minor thing making me cautious about my words and action," Asha said looking disturbed.
Now, we know why she could get episodes as no one told us a proper answer when we asked.
" Yasmin wasn't raped," I said.
" What...Thank god," Asha looked happy and relieved.
" And they both know that we know as I talked to them a while ago," I informed.
" What happened then?" Asha stopped what she was doing and looked at me.
I shrug my shoulder and said, " It didn't go well and Yasmin said not to talk about it as Nina doesn't like it...it may remind her of that night,"
" That's the reason I have not talked to her yet," She spoke.
" Did you talk to your parents and brothers?" I asked.
" No, I haven't got much time to discuss that matter," She continued to do her work.
" Nina and I were talking about you...She suggested that you should talk to Seher Tayee...And by the looks of her, she was talking with experience," Asha spoke in a gentle tone.
Instead of getting angry, I am feeling guilty. Ever since that night, I want to call Mom and talk to her but I stop myself as I remember how I behaved with her. I was disrespectful and spoke harshly to her which I never did.
" I can't even I want to...I said a lot of things to them...Now I can't look them eye to eye," I spoke while controlling my cries. Asha huge me from behind.
" I know what you are feeling. I have been there. Tayee loves you and...just talk. Communication is the key to everything," Asha tries to convince me.
" I will," I announced.
It's been an hour since I am staring at my phone screen that shows Mom's contact number.
" Halona, can you be here for me until I finish the call?" I asked since I needed her the most.
" Okay," Halona whispered.
I took a deep breath and thought, it's now or never. I pressed the call button and waited for Mom to pick up the call.
" Mom," I said once she picked up the phone.