The world I've known has been colored in ash and sulfur. Suffocating and lifeless each day in this grime filled wasteland we suffer only to wake up and suffer again. Kean Town, a place for the poor and unwanted these streets littered with the bodies of those who finally sought to end it on their own terms. The air here is nearly unbreathable no one knows exactly when it started, but for the 18 years I have been alive it has been filled with nothing but sulfur and grime. On the ground the visibility is almost like a constant dust storm, the sky is covered by an orange hue of fumes. Walking out without your mask on is like asking for death to swiftly take you. Resources are few and its not uncommon for a neighbor to kill another just for clean water.
Here from this rooftop I can see it, as if to mock our filth the city stands at the edge of this town gleaming white, "The City of Purity" they call it, Calderon the city of white so blinding it pierces through the ash and soot in the air. The city behind the white walls where only the rich and the few "honorary" citizens live and its where I will be starting my first day at university.
"Auden, come down from there you're going to be late if you keep dawdling" My mother's voice calls from the kitchen window, I can hear the cheeriness in her voice. As I climb back into my room from the window, I lay my eyes on the white uniform not as white as it should be and I can see the patches where my mother stitched in to fill any holes. Small stains of pink on the sleeve probably from my mom pricking her finger by straining to see the needle and thread in the dead of night. A used uniform but my parent had scraped up all they could to get this ready in time for my first day, mom working through the night sewing and stitching and dad taking on extra shifts as a guard at the wall that separated this slum from their pearly gates.
"Finally done day dreaming, if you keep dragging your feet you will be late for your first day" my mother spoke I can tell that she must have been up all night her voice sounds so tired. "I wasn't day dreaming just thinking about today is all, where is Lauren?" I asked, looking around the kitchen I didn't see my sister. " She is in her room, I think she is feeling a bit down since she can't go to school, you know" She said, I could see the sadness and feel the pain in her voice. My sister has had bad lungs since birth, since my mother breathed in too many fumes while pregnant.
She still blames herself for my sister being unable to really venture too far from home and of course that also means she would never be able to attend school.
"Lauren, are you up?" softly opening the wooden door I could see her curled up, knees to her chest blankly staring out the window.
"It's not fair" she uttered I could hear the tears in her voice, all I could do was try to comfort her as best I could. "I promise you when I graduate I'll get a good paying job and get you looked at properly by a real doctor, the city has the best in the country I'm sure one of them must have some way of making you better."
" So you just have to wait a bit longer then I will take the whole family to live inside the city, and you will be able to run, play and go to school like a normal 16 year old." She just nodded and rested her head atop her knees. This was a promise I definitely planned to keep, it was one of the main reasons I was so hellbent on working my ass to the bone to qualify for this scholarship to go to university in Calderon. Take my family with me out of this filth and grime into the city where they could live in comfort.
"Auden it's time to go" my mother yelled from the hallway. "I have to get ready to leave but I'll tell you all about the city when I get back tonight, I'm sure I will have plenty of stories to tell you so just be good and don't push yourself too hard. "Ugh, I'm not a baby I know that already just go and try not to look bad in front of the sheltered kids" she puffed feigning to kick me off the bed.
My mother looked me over one last time, fixing my hair that never wants to stay in place, adjusting the tie that was crooked. "Your father is on duty at the gate today so he will see you off. Just be careful I worry about you with those kids, I'm sure that they won't exactly be thrilled to see you there." I just nodded, what was I suppose to say I knew full well that I wasn't going to be welcomed with open arms and a parade.
I grabbed my mask, sack of books and headed out into the haze of sulfur and ash. Now that I was walking toward the giant white wall that separates us from them the nerves finally set in. "Breathe, just breathe its the first day it will be fine" I chanted to myself. Finally I could see the door to the gate, Purity Gate it was called, apparently it was some kind of tech that neutralized any dirt or sulfur from the outside from "tainting" the city. I was so enthralled by being so close to the gate that I didn't even notice my dad run up to me.
"Auden!, Auden are you OK? What is it, nerves?" he asked shaking my shoulders breaking me from my stupor.
"Oh, yea I guess it finally hit me." I replied finally looking him in the face or at least mask to mask. "Just remember keep your head down, don't draw attention to yourself. Don't look at anything they do, don't listen to anything they say and whatever you do don't intervene in anything you might come across. It's their rules in there just avert your eyes and get through the day."
The look in his eyes was not making it any easier to calm my nerves, what was it that I was going to see or hear that would cause him to make that face. I could only steel myself and move through the gate, it was an odd feeling as I stepped into the gate it was as if my heart had swapped places with my stomach. It took all I had to keep myself my vomiting the little bit of toast I had this morning.
My patched up uniform had turned a hazy brown from the dirt and grime in the air walking from home to the gate but now it was solid white again, even the patches my mother had used to cover the holes had their color restored from the dingy yellow it once was now to almost matching the pure white of the uniform. Almost but it was still clear that this was not a new uniform, I would just have to prove that I was smart enough to warrant this scholarship.
Luckily the university was only a 10 minute walk from the gate to the campus grounds and I had been here once already to confirm my enrollment. Still it was good that during the enrollment process they made sure to include a map so I had a rough idea of where I was going but it didn't take long to notice the stares. The weight was heavy I could feel their stares on my back as I tried to walk as fast as I could to get to the campus grounds. "Don't react, pretend it doesn't bother you and maybe they will lose interest"
In what felt like the longest 10 minutes of my life I finally made it to the doors of the campus. "Masum University", the sign above the door read, this was it my first day in the life of someone born in Calderon. As I pressed the door forward and took my first steps inside I could not help but remember my father's words " Don't look, don't see, keep your head down" It took all I had to force the lump in my throat to go down.
"Just don't react, focus on my work and don't get involved in anything" I chanted to myself trying to assure myself that it wouldn't and couldn't be as bad as he made it sound. Though this was Calderon they still had laws they needed to obey right?…
...Gulp