674 years before BB.
Ichimaru wakes up surrounded by green. Birds chirping somewhere above him, cold sunshine touching his skin and casting shadows over it as the leaves get between it and Ichimaru. He knows immediately that he's on the Pure Lands.
There's a peace in death that he had never thought he would experiment.
Knowing he has all the time in the world now, Ichimaru is happy to stay where he is. Just breathing. Enjoying how easy air enters their lungs and how exhaling doesn't hurt. He closes his eyes and concentrates on the feeling the grass under him transmitted, softer than anything Earth has to offer. Almost fake-like in its lack of spikes. He slowly expands his senses and falls into a trance without being conscious about what's going on.
Guess habits die hard and all that. Especially if they're habits Keisuke put there in the first place.
Thus it isn't really surprising that when Ichimaru starts meditating instead of relaxing, the Heavens know he doesn't comprehend the meaning of that word anymore. Relaxing may as well be a type of dog for all he knows.
Distributing energy through your body is such a basic exercise most people do it without thinking, keeping it up even as they're injured or sick. After all, a golden core will continue to heal its host as long as the host keeps the energy flowing steadily as a river.
Humans can't do it; spirits can't do it.
Ichimaru can.
Brown eyes open wide as their owner gasps in surprise. It's small, minuscule even. But it's there.
Willing the stupid hope that threatens to burst his chest open to back the fuck down, Ichimaru sits, crawls a hand to the spot under his sternum he once could feel his core, closes his eyes firmly and repeats his previous actions, and to his eternal gratitude, he confirms that his dantian are not calcined beyond repair.
A hysterical laugh escapes from his lips.
He remembers the voice, of course. He remembers the deal. But he hadn't expected much when he found himself on the Pure Lands.
He had expected to be thrown back when he was human when he was complete and he didn't know it yet. After all, if he was to repeat his path it only made sense to start at the beginning. Maybe a few days before Sourie crashed into his room, followed by a monster that Ichimaru shouldn't be able to see in the first place.
The God or Demon that sent him back has an obviously different opinion as to where he should start.
Ichimaru's laugh-slowly-turning-into-relieved-sobs were cut as a shaky, young voice cut through the woods at his left. "Is…Is someone there?"
The voice was small and scared but trying to sound brave in a way only a child could replicate, it pulled at Ichimaru's older brother's instincts and he was immediately on his feet. "Uh, yes? Are you—?
Ichimaru almost choked on his own tongue. Wow, did his voice sound high-pitched enough to pass as an imitation of a very famous mouse. Confusion and worry took over as Ichimaru glanced down at his hands. His admittedly tiny hands.
'Shit.' Ichimaru thought, trying to grasp that he was now a child. A small one. Maybe five or six with the voice and the size of his limbs.
"I'm stuck!" The voice cried, sounding like he was very close to crying.
And that snapped Ichimaru from his growing panic. He could deal with the age regression after he had helped the poor child.
"It's ok, I'll help you!" Ichimaru promised, raising his voice to be heard. "Keep talking! I will find you easier if you make a lot of noise."
"O-Ok." There was a pause and then the child was singing.
Little mouse, can't you see?
I will never leave you.
There's a song that I'll sing,
to scare all the calamities away.
White on black and gold will shine.
A lightning storm they will fight.
Nothing but silence will be left.
Little mouse, don't you see?
You'll be safe and warm with me.
As far as lullabies went, this was on the top three of the most creepy ones Ichimaru had the dubious delight to hear. Only made worse by how some words were cut off by a sniff and some rushed to not turn into sobs.
It did the job, though.
Ichimaru found the trapped child following the sounds as he went deeper into the forest— That may not even be a forest but a garden.
There were three things that Ichimaru noticed the moment his eyes landed on the boy.
a) He was wearing purple, a very valuable color that only nobles could afford. Meaning the boy was a noble. b) The black whirlpools embroidered on his robes marked him as a member of the Xie family. And c) Ichimaru knew him.
Ichimaru could recognize the boy by his eyes alone.
Those were Sourie's eyes, those were Xie Zhang's eyes.
Ichimaru inhaled sharply, paling as the enormous opportunity presented finally broke through his surprised mind. The voice had offered him a chance to do it all over again. And it meant it. Ichimaru was so far in the past that changing things would obliterate the future as he knew it; he could change everything!
Every death, every failure, every lost battle. Ichimaru could change it all.
If he played his cards well, the war itself would not come at all.
// Sourie's face scrunched in pain as the scout reported what they all have been fearing the last two days; Xie Zhang and Oumar's deaths. Her agonized scream as she found herself alone in the world. Or believed herself alone in the world at the very least as Ichimaru found himself incapable of comforting her after he had told her in not so many words that he could never love her like that. Never like anything but a friend, a sister. //
"Do not be afraid, A-Zhang," Ichimaru said, walking closer to the fairly disturbing-looking plant that held the boy between its vines. "This is a shadenight. It's not gonna hurt you."
A-Zhang scowled at him, puffing his cheeks like an adorable squirrel.
"It's trying to kill me." The complaint was said with such seriousness that made Ichimaru laugh, making the younger boy look offended at being mocked while his life was in peril.
"No, it's not," Ichimaru reassured him, being thankful that A-Zhang had calmed down a little after hearing his name being said. He supposed that anyone who knew the child's name could be trusted in his experience. Ichimaru's small size probably added to that as well. "It just thinks you are a butterfly."
"That's dumb. I'm a boy, not a butt-er-fly."
"But you had one at some point, didn't you?"
A-Zhang's eyes go round and big, gasping in surprise. "How do you know that?"
Ichimaru smiled, finally finding the sensible spot of the carnivorous plant. Being on the side that's not being eaten is, in fact, a new experience for him but he does remember what Shuri told him to do if he was to find himself trapped ever again.
Poking the plant to make it puke was disgusting but it worked so who was Ichimaru to complain?
"Magic," Ichimaru says conspiratorially as he tickles the right spot.
The deep green vines shake, making the yellow and black leaves blur until you could mistake them for bees. 'Now!' Ichimaru quickly pulls A-Zhang, fingers tightening around his wrist. Spinning on his heels and tucking the boy against his chest.
A second later his back was covered in green goo.
"T-Thank you for…sniff… saving me… sniff," A-Zhang said against Ichimaru's shoulder, trembling fingers fisting the old green cotton of his yukata.
Ichimaru took a deep breath and proceeded to punch the icky feeling right up to the space, took a step back, and faced the kid with his lips up in a gentle smile. "There, there. That wasn't so bad, was it? You're alright, A-Zhang."
"I didn't mean to steal Father's but-er-fis."
"I know, A-Zhang."
"They were pretty."
"I agree, especially the ones with pure black wings. I know I love to have them perched on my fingers. But you shouldn't take them outside, it's dangerous for them and you. Especially if you hide in the gardens." Ichimaru chastised softly, petting the boy's black hair like one would a kitten. "Can you promise me you won't do it again?"
"Yes! I promise." A-Zhang nodded sharply, then with the biggest puppy eyes Ichimaru had seen in a long time, A-Zheng asked: "Don't tell Father?"
Unfortunately for A-Zhang, Ichimaru was immune to that kind of thing.
"Well, I don't know…" Ichimaru teases only to be interrupted as leaves crunch behind him, alerting both of them of someone else being in the woods.
Ichimaru immediately shifts his body, putting A-Zheng slightly behind him. Teeth bared in a snarl.
"A-Zhang…" A slightly older girl sobbed, she was a little dirty. Her clothes have some muck there and there.
"A-jie!" A-Zhang ran to her expecting arms.
'Sourie.' Ichimaru thought dumbfounded. But no. Sourie's eyes were a little darker, closer to violet than lilac. And where Souri was wild this person was fragile. Her edges are soft enough you couldn't see them. No, this person couldn't be Sourie. "Xie Ju."
The girl blinks at him, curious eyes peering at him from under long lashes. "Do I know you?"
Ichimaru shakes his head.
"He saved me!"
Xie Ju's eyes narrow at her little brother's excited comment. "May I ask your name, young master?"
Ichimaru looks down, suddenly remembering that the station separates them. "This humble one is… Shiro."
'Shiro' means white in the Land of the Living, here in the Pure Lands it's just a polite way of saying 'No one. Souls that had recently arrived at the Pure Lands sometimes have problems with their memories, especially if they had a traumatic death, another protection granted by the King in the Heaven along with the natural immunity to spiritual pressure.
Xie Ju's eyes soften immediately. "I see. How do you know our names, young master?"
"I just know," Ichimaru says lamely, shifting nervously his weight. He was not good at lying, ok? He just wasn't!
"The King must have told him!" A-Zhang says excitedly, pulling at Xie Ju's sleeve. "He saved me, A-jie. The King must have sent him for us."
Ichimaru winced at how close to the truth that statement was.
"Is that so?"
"This humble one apologizes if he has offended Young Lady Xie," Ichimaru says, feeling foolish as he tries his best to be polite. A thing that had never been much his style if he was being sincere. "This one only wanted to help Young Master Xie. I promise."
Gentle fingers tip his chin up, Ichimaru meets curious eyes with his usual boldness. Holding Xie Ju's gaze without flinching.
"I believe you." Xie Ju says seriously and unlike Sourie she was warm, reminding Ichimaru of a summer night. "Would you like to come home with us, Shiro?"
"Yes."
No doubt, no hesitation.
Being a servant under the Xie would allow Ichimaru a good place to start. Furthermore, standing under a noble household was better than starving in a district. And if he was being honest, he could feel himself not wanting to leave A-Zhang alone. Not when he was looking at him with such bright eyes, untouched by grief and loneliness.
"Yay!" A-Zheng beamed at them. "Come on, come on! We must show Shiro to Father!"
"I agree." Xie Ju chuckled. "But perhaps not Shiro… What do you think about 'Wuxian', young master?"
Ichimaru couldn't stop the flinching. Names were of utmost importance for they spoke of the destiny the Gods wanted for you, passed down to your parents and onto you as a hint for the baby to find the right path. This was important.
A hint from the Heavens.
Ichimaru needed to die for this chance to succeed; but if Ichimaru wasn't Ichimaru, then who was he? What made him himself?
He wasn't the oldest son, he wasn't the 'chosen one'. Not anymore. Those things had defined him for so long and letting them go was as painful as sacrificing Quetzalcoatl. But he was nothing if not adaptable, that was something that hadn't changed.
Ichimaru was a survivor, Wuxian would be one as well.
But what else? What else would make Wuxian not a mask but a real boy?
Imagines of Keisuke's mischievousness, laziness, and propensity to find trouble flashed through his mind. Keisuke's presence had defined Ichimaru in ways he didn't want to contemplate but remembering his lover by adopting some aspects of his personality was not a bad idea.
Not when Ichimaru would not be able to mourn his loss.
This way… this way he may be able to keep a part of Keisuke with him even as he changed history for the better.
"You don't like it?" A-Zhang pouted.
"I love it," Wuxian said with a big smile. "This one is grateful for his new name. This Wuxian will treasure it until the moment he moves to the next cycle."
Xie Ju and A-Zhang beamed back at him.
"Let's go find Father." Xie Ju offered him her hand.
And as Ichimaru did once upon a time, Wuxian took the hand of the young miss of the Xie fully aware that it would change his life.
(He could only hope he would not come to regret it this time.)