Juria... Loves me? No, that can't be right. I want to accuse Hinae of lying, but what reason could she possibly have for saying something untruthful to me? Especially something of that nature.
"What are you talking about? I mean, I guess Juria loves me, but only in a sisterly way." She must be pulling a trick on me. It's clear she doesn't like me. So this must be one of her ways of trying to get to me.
"You really are a naive little boy." I don't appreciate being called that when she's shorter than me. Even if she is my senior in age. "You don't know what Juria's like with us. But that's because she won't ever show it to you." When she puts it like that. It almost makes it sound like Juria's doing something immoral behind my back. The context that she apparently is in love with me changes things a lot, but even if that I have a hard time believing that.
"Oh yeah? If she loves me, then how comes she wants me to date other people?" I usually imagine that if you fell for someone. You would want to pursue them yourself. That you wouldn't want them with anyone else. At least, not until you made your feelings clear.
"You are truly an idiot." She responds. "I hate to say you don't know because you have had much experience, but that's why you can't tell the reason." Apparently, according to her. The answer is quite plain to see. "She doesn't want to hold you back."
"Hold me back?" I never once viewed her as holding me back by any means. In fact, I think that Juria's been an amazing person for me growing up. It's allowed me to become the person I've grown into today.
"You can't tell me you haven't noticed the things she's been saying. And apparently what her brother's been saying lately too." When she points that out. It reminds me of what Taisei wanted me to do. He told me he didn't want me joining the baseball club because he happened to be in it. "They want you to be your own person."
"But, does that mean they're sick of me?"
"It's because of how much they care about you, you dunce." I swear, I never thought a girl who kept insulting me would talk about other people caring about me. "Did you just forget about the part where I told you Juria loves you? She might have fallen for you, but that doesn't mean she thinks you should be together." Somehow, when it's someone saying I shouldn't get with Juria. It feels a bit more depressing.
"But… I don't want her to suffer." I reply. It's nerve racking to have her just give up so easily. I don't even know how I'd answer if she told me, but I want her to tell me. There's something about the thought of hearing her voice say she loves me that gets my heart… Racing. "I still don't know why she thinks I would be better off with someone else if she loves me."
"Hmm… Are you gonna talk to her about this?"
"I was going to talk to her anyway." Even if we didn't just have this chat. I'd still be heading home with the plan to meet with Juria.
"And are you going to tell her about what I said to you?" She asks. Hinae still has the impression that I don't believe her. To be honest, it still doesn't feel real to me. But at the same time, does she really have any reason to lie? "I only want Juria to be happy, but if you aren't in love with her. Don't bother trying to keep it soft. It's better if you're at least honest with yourself."
"I will." I answer her calmly. Not only that I will be honest with my feelings, but that I will make sure Juria's happy. No matter what. Her smile is one of the most precious things in the entire world for me.
With that, we part ways. She needs to head home and I need to find Juria. Yet, despite the logical location being to return home myself. That's not where I find myself going to. Instead, I'm walking to a location no one would even think of going to. At least, not unless they were me.
I take a detour on the way back home towards a river that runs near where we live. It's a river that's merely a couple blocks away from my house. One that I can even see if I look outside the window in my room. This is where I'll find Juria. I just know it. There's no reason for me to know, but with everything going on. That's my gut feeling.
And it's a hunch that's correct too. I go to a specific spot, not to far from the bridge for those wanting to cross the river. There, that's where I see Juria sitting all alone. The sun hasn't set far enough down on the horizon to change it's hue, yet I swear I'm looking at her in a different light right now.
"Juria?" I speak up, grabbing her attention. She spends a short moment to look at me, the source of the voice. Then quickly, she turns her head down and towards the flowing waves. "Could I… Sit next to you?"
"…" Her silence is killing me. I fear that in this moment, she might reject my request. An indirect way of telling me to get lost. "You may." I can breathe a sigh of relief as I sit down besides her and stare out onto the river. Despite spending the last hour rehearsing what I was going to say to her. About my actions from yesterday, about what I've learned these past couple of hours, about… About anything, really. All that practice went to waste as we quietly sit together, soaking in the view.
"Are you mad at me?" Finally, after what feels like forever in silence. I finally am able to speak up to her. "About yesterday, I mean."
"No." She answers firm and quickly. "I can't say I hated that moment." That's the most deliberate choice of words I've ever heard. Saying she didn't hate it. Does that mean she's conflicted as I am about that moment?
"Juria." I hesitate on my next sentence. My heart is pounding heavy as I prepare to take the first step of a decision I'll never be able to take back. "Are you in love with me?"
"…" This time she's quiet on my question. Each second feels like a thousand years as I await her voice. As I await whether she'll confess the truth or hold her feelings back inside. Finally, after another long wait. She gives me her response. "I am."