Why.. Why.. Why did you do that to me.
'Ehhhhh... Isla gasped as she woke up covered in sweat like she had been running a marathon..
"that same dream again.. A voice came up from behind her, making her flinch in fear..
" Hey, hey relax it's me., it's just me okay.. He said switching on the lights so she could see better..
"Ahh Jerry it's just you., when did you come in last night I didn't see you... She said collecting the glass of water he extended to her..
" a little past twelve., I had a lot of things to finish up., you were already asleep, and you don't actually get a lot of that so I didn't want to disturb you... Are you okay?? He asks as she is still panting..
" yeah., yeah I'm fine.. I just need to calm down for a while.. She said drinking what was left of the water..
"You've been having more of this dreams lately.. exactly what in the world did you do to this guy that he still haunts your dreams., even after eight long years...?
" something really bad., something inhumane.. Something I'm not proud of... Something unforgivable.. She mumbled those two last words to herself..
" well, whatever it is., or was.. Try and forgive yourself, and forget it.. I mean look at you, you have a bed but you don't use it cause you are feeling too guilty to lie down comfortably.. Instead you sleep for a few hours on this neck breaking chair, and wake up frightened from a nightmare.. This has to stop Isla, eight years is enough to pay for whatever sins you committed back then.. Stop punishing yourself..
Jerry Olsen, her one and only friend, yes he loved her, but there was not much he could do for her.. He could not go into her nightmares and stop the man that lived there from tormenting her , neither could her make her fall asleep on the bed so she could rest comfortably.. He had tried once, but as soon as she closed her eyes to sleep, she began gasping for breath.. He lifted her off the bed quickly, and handed her a paper bag to help her breathing... Just like this, all he could do for her was stay by her side as her one and only friend.. He could not ask or expect more from her...
"I've tried, but I can't.. I just can't wipe away that day from my head.. The expression on his face, the way he shivered in front of all those people., and all because he trusted me., because he loved me.. I try to go to sleep and he's all I see... She pulls back some hair that fell to her face over her head..
"you know after that day, I never saw him again.. I was going to apologize if he came to school again, but he never did.. I was going to go to his home and find him and shamelessly ask for his forgiveness., but it was then I realized I knew nothing about him.. I had no idea where he lived..
Her face had become wet with tears, she wiped it with the edge of her blouse..
"you're never going to tell me what happened that day right?? He'd asked her a hundred times to tell him what she had done to make her be in so much pain., and that maybe sharing it with him would help lessen the burden, but her response was always the same...
" I can't, I'm sorry.. I'm too ashamed to even say it out loud.. Like always was her reply today again.. The truth is she was scared to tell him. What if she told him, and he felt she was really despicable and left her. She didn't want to loose her only friend.
" But you can't go on like this either.. He bent down in front of her, taking her hands in his.. Looking into her eyes.. Those mesmerizing blue eyes that had him drooling the first day he saw her as a sophomore in college.. They still had that strong effect on him., still made him feel all tingly inside when he looked at them.. And seeing glittering drops come from those eyes broke his heart to a thousand pieces over and over again.. He wiped away an escaping drop before it could reach her cheek...
"You can't go on like this.. Let's go see a doctor Isla., let's see a therapist.. Someone who can help you.. You need to get your life on track Isla. You can't live like this.. He strokes her hands gently in his, patiently waiting for her response.
" Okay...
" Come on Isla, you have to think about this first., it will really help you if you... Wait what??
"I said okay., I'll go see a therapist.. She had agreed., so easily without him having to convince her.. He had thought he would have to say a thousand words to make her see reason with him, but it seemed like God was on his side.. Joy filled his heart.. A session with a therapist was something that was long overdue.
" Thank you.., thank you so much he said pulling her into a hug..
We will go in search of one today... Oh that's right, you can't go today you have that interview with Kings Corp right.. He was already planning everything
" don't worry Jerry., we can go anytime. I won't change my mind.. Now enough about me.., why are you smelling nice so early in the morning.. It's not even five yet.. She pointed at the wall clock..
" first of all, I smell nice all day long., and secondly I told you I had a lot of work to do.. So I wanted to leave early so I could get an early start.. I need to put some finishing touches to some clothes that needs to be delivered today...
" you should have brought it home with you., I could have helped you.. She said tugging at his shoulder..
" so you will get the chance to say I was the reason you flopped your interview.. Yeah right.. No way... She was going to hit his head with her hands, but he stood up right in time..
"why would you say that., do you think I will flop the interview.. She stood up after him.. Matching towards him like a soldier.
" oh definitely not., it's not like I'm the one doing the interview, it's you and I know you can do it.. Okay now you seem calm enough.. I better run off if I don't want to loose one of the only customers I have that pays the amount the clothes is actually worth... He says wearing his shoes..
"you're always telling me about my life.. But when will you get your life together huh., and get a girlfriend.. So I can have this whole place to myself...
" And how will you pay the rent.. He said mockingly., also dodging the spoon she threw at him.. And besides., my potential girlfriend is cheating on me with a guy in her dreams, and she refuses to let him go.. Hopefully when she sees a therapist she would finally let go and then things might get more interesting for us both.. The Smile on his lips was contagious, and she couldn't help but laugh too..
"Alright I gotta go now.. Call me before you leave for the interview., when you get to the building., a minute before the interview and immediately after the interview okay...
" AYE AYE CAPTAIN.. she replied gesturing a salute with her hand..
"Good girl., alright I'll see you later.. Love you.. He says then runs out of the apartment...
"Love you too.., and don't forget to have lunch.. She says running out after him..
" call me and remind me if you don't want me to forget.. Was what he said before he was out of sight...
They were the bestest of best friends.. Most people in their apartment building thought they were a couple., even though they had explained a thousand times that they were just friends, and that they just lived together so they could split the rent, no one believed them.. They were just too sweet together to be just friends..
She went back into the apartment, since sleep coming back was impossible as she knew it.., she was even lucky to have slept that long today.. Most times when she closed her eyes to sleep., it barely lasted three hours.. And it had been going on like this for years.. Some years, it wasn't so bad, but some were just so stressful..
Her interview was by nine, and this was just five.. She still had time to relax her mind and prepare herself for the possible questions that could be asked and the best reasonable response to give..
She had already packed her bag and documents the night before, carefully ironed out the cloth Jerry got for her... he had said..
"Buttercup, you're going for a job interview for the position of a fashion designers assistant.. I think at least you should look the part.. It was a purple turtle neck long-sleeved top and a plum straight skirt that barely reached her knee.. But it was indeed looking both professional and stylish..
She got herself ready, and by thirty minutes past six, she was out of the house.. It was a one hour thirty minutes drive to the place, she wouldn't want to be late for her interview...
Like Jerry had told her, she called him as she locked her door and headed out.. When she got to the building., it was quite intimidating to stand in front of this building. It just made you feel like an ant in front of an elephant..
"it's so huge.. I didn't know it was like this since I filled the application forms online..
" don't worry., just don't get intimidated okay.. I know you're biting your nails right now., leave those poor things alone.. She takes her fingers away from her mouth.. He was like a ghost that knew everything about her.. He didn't have to see her to know she was biting on her nails.. She always did this unconsciously whenever she was nervous...
"look., you'll do great, you'll do just fine.. Just go in there and be you.. Be the Isla that wows everyone present in a room.. Okay.. Go in... Now.. Stop standing outside the building.. The interview won't hold outside... He said then hung up..
" Hello.. Hello.. Jerry... Stupid Jerry.. She said in a muffle..
" Alright., he's right.. He's stupid, but he's right.. I can do this.. It's just a big tall building.. There are bigger buildings around.. She pointed at other buildings around the place..
"Yes.. I can do this.. I can do this.. I'll do great..
And with those words, she took her big step into Kings Corp...
Her big step into a whole new world...