Some time later, my parents decided to hire a home tutor for the teaching of the Holy book. Which is mandatory in our religion and culture.
There began the entry of another devil who faked to be a nice worthy man. He was nice to us for the first three days. I noticed him being a little too much touchy by pulling my cheeks and telling me that I'm super cute and I resemble his son who lives back in the country where he belonged, and since he is away from his son, he misses him. I felt bad for him yet I disliked the weird touching totally and internally. No way! No! No! I mumbled with in, when he use to touch me.
One day he crossed it, asked me to be seated beside him. The moment he started teaching he touched my thighs and gave me an awkward smile. I hated it and tried to pull his hands off. My brother sitting beside noticed and giggled. He shouted at my brother for not concentrating and warned him of being punished if he looks around again. It bugged me so much that I pinched on his hand as he tried touching me again right after the harsh dictation to my brothers. He stared at me when I pinched him and instantly smiled as I was showing anger and disagreement, breathing heavily with swollen nostrils and tears. He offered me a candy to cover up and make me calm and asked me to start reading the book.
Gradually from touching he started to kiss my cheeks telling me I'm doing great and am a bright student. I utterly hated those sloppy kisses that I used to go and wash my face ASAP. He kept telling me that he loves me so much and I remind him of his son therefore, he kisses me out of love. Ewkkhh!!! I said one day when gave me a strong one beside the lips. He showed a bit temper on mhy reaction and again smiled and immediately asked me to be calm, to handle the situation. You're my kid and I love you. He said holding my hand close to his chest. My brothers looked at each other and noticed something fishy going on. Yet they were so scared of his threats that they never disclosed the situation with my parents.
I hated his love as I noticed how rude and strict he was with my brothers.
One day the two of my brothers were not at home when the teacher showed up. Oh my heart was about to fail with worry as I didn't want to attend the class alone. Mother asked me to not keep the teacher waiting and take the class. Innocent mother was unaware of his intentions/ or maybe it was least expected from a teacher.
As I walked in the drawing room where we use to take the class usually, he looked at me with a smile. Where are your brothers? He asked, they're not taking the class today as they're not at home, I said being nervous. Oh I freaked out to see his wicked smile already! Come here be seated, he said with such excitement.
I was absolutely petrified and bothered of being kissed again. I felt my heartbeat running as he pulled me close to him and kissed me! Sitting with a poker face with tears in the eyes, I cleaned my cheek with a tissue paper immediately. Oh you're such a funny little kid he laughed in a taunting way!
I stared at him and told him to not kiss me again! He pulled me closed to him and said I have a little surprise for you today. What is it? I asked being annoyed.
He said, I'll give it to you when you'll let me kiss you on the lips. EWKH! No way! I panicked and said I'll complain to my parents. He tried his best to keep me calm as I was crying with shame. However, he crossed the limits by putting his pants down exposing his privates, this is the gift for you. He said with the worst ever expressions.
I panicked with shame and fear and tried to run out of the room. He made sure that I don't scream or shout, came running after me. Held me from the arms and jerked me so hard that my arms seemed to break. With those scary eyes wide open he came close to me and said if you ever tell about this to anyone. Ill harm your mother. I was speechless, choked.
I got severely traumatized as I didn't want my mother to be harmed at all. Instantly, the bell rang and it was my father at the door. He stared at me as a warning and reminder of the threat. Dad treated him nicely as he asked him to make sure nobody takes leave from the class again and he left. I had severe panic attacks that night. i suffered intense nightmares and hallucinations.
I was shocked and fearful that this person is going to come again. I desperately wanted to tell my parents about his vicious intentions. But because of his threats I remained silent. I wanted my mother to be safe.
I somehow managed to save myself from him. And made sure that I will only be attending the class while my brothers are present. Later on, he left the job. And I thanked God for keeping me safe from his evil.
I was traumatized, had constant nightmares and hallucinations. The unexplainable experiences of hallucinations made me fear everything. As I it was more likely to be an unexplainable mental condition. I used to see a huge number of people sitting in my room and there is a vicious man among them who yells out loud and outrageously, his tone is frightening and it makes me feel that my heart will burst out of the chest. That man is bullying everyone else in the room and sooner going to approach me. I wake up and scream out of fear as I can listen to the unarticulated grunting even when awake and I can listen to my heartbeat running in my ears out of fear. I rush to my parents room, wake them from sleep and tell them I'm scared and terrified. They definitely get worried and I used to end up sleeping with them.
Eventually it affected my school life and studies as I usually couldn't sleep at night and fall sick by the morning. The teachers used to complain my mother for not being attentive in class.
The struggle remained intact, the incidents of street harassment began to upswing, saving myself I ended up not going out at all. Even if forced by the friends or cousins. I chose to stay at home and helped my mother instead.
People used to get surprised to see me working with my mother actively and it eventually made me an expert of all the household duties, along with the studies.
Mother never forced me to help her a lot but encouraged me to focus on the studies more and more. I had no problems serving her as it was also my duty to do so, I use to be satisfied instead. Since she used to be sick and her health was getting affected slowly for certain reasons. Mother started relying on me a lot. Yet she always encouraged me to be confident and strong. She used to cry watching me sit at home while all others used to go out to play. I became much more comfortable indoor. And told her I'm fine do not cry my darling mama. I feel happy beside you. Mother hugged me and wished me all the success for the future. You're my sweetest lil kid. If I ever leave this world remember that I loved you the most. She said, I got emotional and mad to hear that statement. Do not tell me to leave me ever again mother. I don't want listen or talk about it ever again. I said furiously! Hey! Come here, she hugs me back again as I cry! This is the bitter reality of life. I say it since you're way too much attached with me. Look I miss my mother a lot too, she is no more there for or with me. I do miss her dearly and wish for her to comeback for a moment so I could hug her and tell her I love her so much, cried mother. She left us a few years back and I still can't believe it, said mother. I started to cry even more as she wiped my tears off telling me to be strong. We will not talk about this now. Relax I'll make you some tea and toast!
The day just passed and we were off to bed. I had a little nap and had the nightmare. I got out of the bed and ran to my parent's room. As I was about to open the door, I could hear them talking about me.
They were talking about me being a shy kid. Discussing how to make me strong and bold like my other brothers. Are we ruining his life? I could hear mother crying. No! No! Calm down! He will be just fine by the time. However, to keep him safe from the street rats, we have to take special care. As these street cases are on rise, said father soothing my mother.
Listening to their conversation, I felt safe. I prayed to God to grant my parents long life and health. And always keep me under their shadow.