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Chapter 302 - A Very Merry Christmas Stream… attempt

[growlingreproduce] Holy crap! It's Claud Rife and Sefirot!

[tactfulglobe] Is that... Are those two cosplaying the SCARS task force from Neighboring Malice?

[second_owner] Since when are Counter Guardians in Tokyo?

Titor chuckled and said, "It's incredible, isn't it? What you see before you is the culmination of one man's desire to give his family the best Christmas possible."

Amadeus leaned into the camera frame and said, "That and this chuuni bastard's perfectionism in creating props."

"John asked me, and it's good practice." He paused and said, "That reminds me. I need to make a Christmas event in World Line at some point. Maybe with a divine resurrection crystal-"

"John will smack you for that."

"It might be worth it for the memes though..."

[chillyobserver] Titor's still a troll after all lol

[complexhoney] So Titor's the M here. Got it.

[heinekenmath] He has a hot tsundere waifu, so obv he's an M

"Anyway... Who should we wish a Merry Christmas to first? Any ideas, Mister Yudi?"

Yudi stood in the center of the frame and stroked his beard, his long robe billowing around him.

[projecttrapped] Confucius say, interview the girls!

[highlyhuman] I wanna talk to those hunky cosplayers! Gogogo!

[flairheadmews] Forget the girls, go talk to those hunks standing by the cookies!

Yudi glanced off the side, as if reading something only he could see. And then he chuckled. "The mortals in this realm are amused by such trifling things."

Amadeus sighed and said, "Don't remind me. The internet is a weird place."

"Hey!" Titor spoke up and said, "I resemble that statement!"

"It's resent, idiot."

"I know what I said!"

"..." Amadeus shook her head and looked at Yudi. "You wanted to record the celebration, right?" She looked over towards the tree and said, "John's recording the gift opening, so how about we see what the others are up to? And we can start with..." She glanced around and pointed at the corner of the room where Maji, Saji, and Kiri were in Santa outfits and making a pyramid of stuffed animals. "That seems interesting, right?"

[dovenetwork] I didn't know Santa was in a gang.

[elementarypresents] Yo! Look at the tats on that guy!

[shroudsdeadbeat] Did those three decided to live the Life of the House Husband?

Titor huffed and said, "My screentime, my show! ...Though I guess that those guys are pretty funny... Alright! This Emperor shall depart to the battlefield!"

Yudi gave Titor a sharp stare. "Emperor? Is this Regal Self being mocked by you?"

"Ahaha... J-Just kidding, Gramps."

"...Gramps?"

Titor cleared his throat and quickly started walking over to the trio. His hand came into the camera frame as he waved, and he said, "Merry Christmas you guys! How've you been enjoying the party?"

"Hm?" Maji turned first, setting down the stuffed blue dragon he was holding. He glanced at the camera and then burst out laughing. "I thought Boss was fearless, but you've got some balls running around recording this party."

Kiri carefully adjusted a black turtle plushie before looking at Titor as well, frowning. "Are you dragging in Boss's family for entertainment?"

Saji cracked his knuckles and then rolled his neck. After that, he stared at the camera and said, "You might be Boss's 'brother', but I don't think he'd mind if we taught you a lesson or two. Right Bro?"

Maji nodded and reached up to the top of his Santa outfit. "Yeah. And kids these days love watching some beatdowns, right?"

[adventwholesale] John confirmed yakuza boss?

[stickside] The road to winning Alphy's hand is long...

[slatebreakdown] These guys are the entry level thugs? We're screwed!

Before the situation got any worse, Amadeus walked into frame and smacked Titor's head.

"Ow! What was that for!"

"For sucking at being discreet. Figure out a better way to hide that camera, idiot."

"Tch. Fine."

Hands went up to cover the camera frame and it went dark.

In the meanwhile, Amadeus's voice echoed. "Sorry to bother you guys."

Maji's voice echoed and he said, "Hey, don't apologize to us. Apologize to the Boss."

Kiri's voice echoed after that. "Right- Hm? Boss?"

The camera feed came back on, showing Titor's face. It seemed like he was still holding it in his hands, trying to adjust something. And as a result, there was a clear view of the panicked expression on his face.

"H-Hey! You guys are kidding, right-"

A flicker of gold from behind Titor. One second, nothing was there. And then the next second, John's face came into view, surrounded by menacing symbols.

"Yo."

"@#$@$#@$#@!"

Titor jumped, tossing the camera into the air.

The screen turned into a blur of colors before it stabalized, focusing on John's face.

Like everyone else, he was in a realistic Anime style. Unlike everyone else, he was also surrounded by menacing symbols and had his face half covered in shadows like a villain peering out from the darkness.

[abackyell] GAH! I didn't know there'd be jumpscares!

[casesnap] H-Hi John?

[cultureromp] N-No wonder those guys call John Boss...

John stared at the camera a bit longer and then looked off to the side. "So. You wanna explain why you're streaming this before I tie you up and throw you in a room for Amadeus to do whatever she wants with you?"

Amadeus immediately spoke up and said, "What the hell?! Don't drag me into this!"

"Ah." John looked confused and said, "Sorry. I thought you were into that. I'll remember it for next time."

"@#$@#$! Gah! Both you and Titor are insufferable! I hate you!" After saying that, Amadeus stormed off. As she did, her distant voice echoed and she said, "I'm going to help Yue open Aurie's presents! Screw you guys!"

Maji's laughter echoed and he said, "Looks like your lady got fed up with you, Titor."

"Meh. She'll calm down in a bit."

John facepalmed and muttered, "Is this what I would have been like if I never gave up the internet? God, I need to keep a better track of what Meggie's watching then..."

[everyonesecondary] John's actually a responsible parent?

[partmischief] Meggie?

[eminentcrochet] Show us the fam, John! Give a house tour!

John shook his head and then looked off to the side. "Hey, Dad. I'm not sure what that guy said to you, but do you want to hold onto this for me?" He glanced at the camera and then said, "...Yeah. It should be fine. A bit unexpected, but the proper filters are on and we're overdue an intro stream for everyone."

The screen blurred, followed by some rustling. After that, Yudi's face came into view. "Giving this Regal Self authority over these degenerate mortals..." He looked over at John and said, "Are you certain?"

"Yeah. They're easily entertained, so just give some life counseling and check in on the girls. After that, ask Betty to turn off the stream and you can record some family memories with it."

[moronicmile] I take offense to that!

[riskpecans] Yeah! We are not easily entertained!

[blackeningmad] I dunno. I'm 100% a degenerate.

[tripmuch] Hold on. John said Dad...

[versedelephant] Yudi... Is this Yue's father?

[systempeacock] Holy crap! How old is Yue then?

[fabuloushyena] There's no way that this old man has that much game!

"Very well." Yudi nodded and then pointed the camera back at him. "Worry not, Mortals. This Regal Self- No, the Jade Emperor shall properly instruct you upon proper morals." After saying that, he started walking off.

In the background, John's voice echoed. "So. You wanted screentime that badly, huh?"

"H-Hey now. We can talk about this, John."

"You were already going to get a lot of attention because World Line is launching soon, but you couldn't wait. You just had to go and turn all of this into 'content'..."

Maji cackled and said, "Ooh. Are we gonna teach him a lesson, Boss?"

"Oh yeah. And I know exactly how."

Titor laughed and said, "What are you gonna do, huh? Pain is nothing to me!"

"Yep. But you're a weeb. And I know exactly how to torture a weeb."

"Oh yeah? What are you gonna do to me?"

"Yo Maji. You've got hookups in the Anime industry, right? Think you could get your hand on some English dubs?"

"What?!" Titor's panicked voice echoed. "No! You can't do that!"

"Watch me. Or rather... Watch it."

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

[bedseagull] Oh god.

[machineowl] English dubbed Anime? The torture!

[actsheep] I don't get it. Are the overseas bro that bad at dubbing Anime?

[frenchraven] Titor should have thought it through first...

[parsnipswasp] Yeah. Japan isn't America. Cruel and unusual punishment is fine.

[bountifulhornbill] I doubt that. Japan should have laws stopping it, right?

[trappedpochard] Yay! We get to chill with the Chuuni gramps!

[novelhinds] Well, this stream is different.

[malletalligator] Let's go, Grandpa!

Yudi chuckled and then looked back at the camera. "Our Son-in-law appears to have that settled. We did not think that Titor would walk so easily into the trap, but it would seem that he lacks the wisdom our Son-in-law earned throughout the years. But now..." He stroked his beard and said, "It appears that the idols you mortals worship at my Son-in-law's behest are free. Let us make a proper introduction... Merry Christmas!"

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