ARTHUR LEYWIN POV:
Walking out of the Denoir Estate's main door, I noticed that Caera has been acting strangely ever since she had been dragged to have a private conversation with Lenora. 'Families are weird. Maybe she got scolded for spending time with you, knowing how bad of an influence you can be' Regis said accusingly.
'Shut up. I'm not that bad. Besides the Denoir's were the one who asked her to lure me to their estate, remember?' I thought back to Regis.
As I was having my usual bickering with Regis. I noticed that Caera has been taking furtive glances towards me.
"What is it?" I asked her, wanting to know more about her conversation with her adoptive mother, Lenora. She shook her head before turning towards me and fixed her ruby eyes on me. Her face a bright crimson, her lips quivering. "Is something the matter? You know you can talk to me about it, right?". "I know, Grey. But it's nothing, really. Maybe I should've worn something appropriate for the weather..." Caera'a said softly, more to herself than me.
Her words brought me back to my senses as I realised that it has started snowing. With my Asuran body it wasn't anything out of the ordinary to notice it, but....I stopped my thoughts as my eyes fixed on Caera's prone form. It brought back the memory of us spending time together in the snowy zone of the relictombs. I felt warmth in my heart. 'Why am I feeling this way?' I asked myself.
'Maybe you're finally feeling the similarities between you and the horned goddess' Regis interrupted. 'W-what similarities?' I sputtered. It made me realise that he's right. I thought about the conversation we shared regarding Caera's situation with her family and how I couldn't help but compare with my own family.
'But why am I feeling that now, of all times? Is it because of the strange relationship between Caera and her adoptive mother?' I asked myself and Regis, thinking back to how Caera had seemed entirely different from her usual self. Her caring yet aloof, casual yet authoritative nature entirely gone, replaced with cold and almost submissive side that she had shown to her mother.'
'Im pretty sure Caera only shows that side to you. I mean, I don't see anyone else she considers her true family. She's like a male of version of 'Grey'.' Regis chortled. I was momentarily stunned by his words. Although I've known about Caera's personal life, which for some reason never made me bother much about, I also realised that she's...alone! She has no friends, no family that she could rely on, and has no say in her own life...' 'Hey, maybe you should treat her better.' Regis cut me off, almost in a mocking tone.
A tinge of guilt passed inside me hearing his words. I wanted to say that it was all just a precaution. To keep myself safe from the prying eyes. To not allow myself to be caught by my enemies. But....is Caera my enemy? 'Are you seriously wondering about that now? How many times has she put her life on the line for you? And the way she follows you around.' Regis said in an annoying tone. 'I know. I know.' I thought back to my companion before letting out a long breath.
A sharp voice put me out of my stupor, as I heard Caera's voice calling out to me. That's when I realised that I had stopped on my tracks and that Caera had gone few steps farther.
She looked at me, her gaze confused with slightly frown. "What's wrong, Grey?" She asked. "You weren't answering me. How long are you planning to stand there in this weather? I don't know about you, but I'll soon turn into ice popsicles if I spend another damn minute outside.." she said. Her hands crossed and hugging her body tightly with her posture slightly bend forward.
'Stop standing here like an idiot, and go help her.' Regis said, in a commanding tone. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, and simply ignored my companion. But he was right.
I walked forward and raised my arm towards Caera, waiting for her to take it. Caera looked at me with a confused gaze. But she finally rested her arm in the crook of my elbows, as I walked next to her. I let my aether pass out of my core and cover our bodies in a thick layer. To stop the biting winds from eating our skin. Caera jerked a little, momentarily surprised by the change in temperature. But she looked at me with her eyes wide. I noticed that she had stopped quivering in a few moments, and instead a small smile tugging on the edge of her lips.
Caera had noticed that my gaze was on her lips, as her face turned slight shade of crimson, but she hastily turned forward to keep her face hidden.
I cleared my throat, and said "Let's go", not wanting to make the situation more awkward than it already was. She didn't answer.
We walked in silence for a while, our gazes pinned to the front, both expectantly wanting to get past the Denoir's Estate, ignoring the awkwardness that was still lingering in the air.
I noticed Caera looking at me from the corner of her eyes, from time to time. I opened my mouth to ask what's bothering her now. But she beat me to it.
"Who are you, Grey?" she asked, her eyes looking at me curiously. I was taken back, ...'this again', I thought. 'What does she expect me to say now?'. Seeing that no answer was given, she continued. "It feels surreal..." she said, her voice ever so soft, carried by the cold winds.
"What does..." I asked her, pondering whether I should just shut up or question her about her interaction with Lenora.
Caera gave a warm smile, her lips stretched far and her gaze soft. I felt my heart skip a beat due to her sudden change of emotions, as I gave a small smile unknowingly.
"Everything about you, Grey. Your existence. Our meeting in the relictombs. And not to forget, this..." she said as she lifted her right arm and gazed at it for a second before slowly placing it on my forearm. I felt the warmth coming from her, a striking contrast to our surroundings.
She held her gaze and continued, "I can't feel your power, yet I know it's there. Shielding me from this harsh weather. To be able to wield aether, it's such a godly power." She shook her head and let out a small laugh. "I swear by the name of Vritra, I would've thought that you were one of those deities, if it weren't for those runes on your back."
I opened and closed my mouth several times during her speech. Not knowing what to say to her.
'You look cute together.' Regis casually said, almost in a teasing tone. I could feel his enthusiasm spiking and waiting for my reply so that he can tease me more. I wanted to ignore his words. But, i wondered who would know me better than him? Curiosity got the better of me, so I asked him to continue.
'Oh, it's nothing. You know I can watch your memories, right? And I can feel your...well, emotions!'. 'Yeah, that's what you had said. What about it?'. Regis didn't answer straight away, as if choosing his words carefully. After a few moments passed, he continued, 'Its just that I've never seen you feel this emotion before. Not even when you were with your...elf girlfriend...'. Regis waited for a reply, but I didn't say anything. So he continued, 'Hey, I'm just telling you what I'm seeing. You haven't felt this much serenity nor clarity when you were with Tessia. I mean look at you smiling like an idiot, in a goofy way! It was a surprise for me to see you finally experiencing such emotions after god knows how long!'
My mind went blank at his words. I sensed the hesitation coming from Regis, almost expecting me to lash out at him. I could feel the sincerity in his thoughts. I understood that he was telling me the truth. The truth that I had failed to notice!
'What does it mean then? Does it mean that whatever I felt Tess was not real? Was I wrong in thinking that Tess had somehow managed to change my lacking personality when it came to dealing with women? Was I just simply trying to hold on to our friendship by putting myself in that position? A million questions raged in my mind, making me go dizzy. I felt like my existence has been nothing by a lie.
'Um Arthur, not that I don't like seeing you questioning your life choices, but you are overthinking a tad bit.' 'How so?' I yelled in my mind, as confusion filled my mind as it raged for answers. The answers that I didn't have... 'Well, for starters, how about you stop acting like a brainless maniac and calm down your mind. I'm literally connected with your mind and, mind you, it's not as comfortable it might seem, with all your thoughts running around wild. So, clam down for a second so I can answer.'
I knew Regis was right, I have been on edge ever since I was sent to Alacrya. Thinking about how much I've changed since that. I was once again thankful for my companions. If not for them, maybe I would've gone insane. My eyes darted to the side, where Caera had been walking next to me silently. Her composure more relaxed and her walk, steady. I let out a sigh. And waited for Regis to continue.
'I'm gonna be blunt here, Art...' he took a pause before continuing, 'You seem more happy and relaxed with the lady horns, than you were before. I for one, am surprised by this. I know your personality, I've seen it many times through your memories, both lives. But even I'm surprised to see you taking a walk, holding hands with a woman, one whom you considered your enemy and almost killed, more than once! Now looking at you protecting her from the cold. The cold that wouldn't even affect her body, really. Pair it with that smug smile you had on your face while doing all this...one doesn't need to read your mind to tell that you care for her. If that doesn't tell you, then I don't know what will.'
'What- holding hands?' I questioned, before realising that I had been unconsciously grabbing Caera's hand inside mine. I could feel the strength it contained, more evident from the callouses that were spread around her palms. A reminder of how my hands once was when I wielded my dawn's ballad. And, once again a reminder of how similar Caera and I are. I could feel Regis's amused expression. I shook my head to clear my thoughts.
I stopped myself asking the inevitable question that has been lingering in mind for a while now. Although I'm not sure if it was me, or Regis who is responsible for that thought. I could feel him roll his eyes, but I ignored him for the moment.
As we walked nearer to the main gates of the Denoir's Estate, my eyes settled on the Basilisk Fang Mountains, a series of steep mountain chain enveloped by thick layers of snow, almost year around.
"It's beautiful, isn't it? Although makes me cold, just looking at it." Caera asked, noticing my gaze. I took a deep breath before turning my gaze to Caera, completely ignoring her latest statement.
"I trust you, Caera. And, I'm glad that I could say this to you." I told her, something that I had long been pondering about this woman whom I've grown to like for who she is. I wanted to say more, but I was stopped by Caera's action, as her grip around my arm tightened at my words. I turned to see that she's been looking at me, with her eyes wide and her eyebrows arched in surprise. Her ruby eyes shining like two flaming jewels, against the silvery white reflection of moon light.
I couldn't help but smile at that sight. 'She looks cute' I thought to myself. My lips widening at that thought. We gazed at each other, our eyes never leaving the other.
It was broken by the sight of Caera letting out a shiver. Before I could ask her what's wrong, I noticed that I had inadvertently stopped cycling aether around us.
I let out a silent chuckle, "Sorry. Here, put on my coat." I said, as I took off my outer coat and covered her petite shoulders. I resisted the urge to place my arm around her, not wanting to do look weird.
Caera tightened her arms around my right arm, like a baby koala grabbing onto the tree trunks. I sensed a soft smile as she fixed her gaze in front of us.
"I'm happy to hear you say that, Grey, really. I want to stand by your side. Always." Caera said, softly. "Just like this" her voice more softer than her previous statement, laced in shyness.
I felt the urge to pat her head and caress her hair. Feeling never like before. Feeling something good after a long time. But I had to held back myself, not to rush things. The happiness I felt was enough at that point, and I wasn't ready to break it. I let myself bask in this feeling of warmness, something that I rarely feel these days.
I could feel Regis's excitement bubbling up inside and his struggle to keep himself from interrupting our 'moment'. I let out a soft chuckle, making Caera to turn towards me, her eyebrow raised. No words were said, but I could understand what she wanted to say.
"We've come far, haven't we?" I said out loud, more to myself than her, as a small smile fixed on my face.
***
As we finally exited the long stretch of the Denoir Estate's main gates, I looked around to see if we can find any carriage to take us back to our residence in the Central Academy. With no carriage on sight, we simply started walking.
"Should I just teleport us to our way to the Academy?" I asked, looking at Caera. She looked to be in thought. After a while she shook her head, "No, Grey. Unless you have some pressing matters to attend to, I don't see why we have to expose your....unsual- powers to the world"
It was my time to ponder. Caera was right, I realised. "I was worried that you won't be able to hold on for that long." I said as I pointed to her and the snow that has started to accumulate the road ahead of us, making it harder to walk.
"Oh, it's alright, Grey. I'm not worried. I can handle this much. Besides... I have you, so let's just walk." I just nodded at her. And she continued, "I'd rather spend more time like this, with you. Than end up cooped in my quarters alone."
"You know I live right below you, right?" I asked her, wondering why she would feel this way. "I know that. But it's not like we can just stay in each other's room for a long time. Or spend the night in the same room. Not if we don't want any prying eyes to start some rumours." she shrugged.
"Are you that worried about it?" I asked with an eyebrow raised. She stiffened at my question. But she didn't answer. I wanted to question her more, as I felt something's off...but I noticed a carriage moving towards us, in the corner of my eyes. I immediately stepped to the front and waved my hand to gesture the driver to stop.
Once the carriage stopped, the driver came out to open the door for us. I stopped him and waved him off, wanting to open it for us myself. Caera looked at me curiously, at my actions. I simply gestured her to hop in.
After she entered, she didn't sit. She turned around to look at me as she opened her mouth to say something. I did the same as I entered, waiting for her to take a seat. 'Should I sit with her now? Or...' my mind went blank for a moment. We looked into each other's eyes, expecting the other to make a move. To sit. But both of us just stood there frozen.
'Yeah, this is not awkward at all.' Regis barked in amusement. I ignored his jabbing. "Maybe you should sit with the princess. Since it's cold and all.", he said as he peeked out of my sternum, startling Caera, as she almost fell back due to his sudden action.
I immediately reached forward, grabbing Caera by her waist and pulling her towards me, to stop both of us from falling.
Regis let out a whistle as he jumped out of my body to lay on one side of the carriage, taking up the entire seat for himself. I glared at him, with Caera still locked in my grasp, our bodies touching each other and her face to my side. I could feel the warmth of her breath landing on the side of my neck. And her chest expanding and contracting at a speed that is not normal. I stopped myself to the lingering thoughts that had started to spring around my mind. While Regis completely ignored us, with his eyes closed, laying.
I let Caera go, once she was steady on her feet. We glanced at each other for an instance before silently settling down next to each other on the opposite side of where Regis was "sleeping".
'You're welcome, princess', he said in a teasing tone, inside my mind. I just ignored him and looked at Caera, wanting to see if she's okay.
I noticed that she was looking outside the window. I turned to look at the view, and was instantly mesmerised by the beautiful sight. Thick canopy of trees surrounded by thick mists, covered the side of the carriageway, dividing the Central Dominion from the land of Vechor. Salty air mixed with the cold winter breeze flowed through the few pockets of openings in between the trees, coming from the sea, I mused. The Vritra's Maw Sea. Large flying mana beasts can be seen flying over the thick tree groves piercing the billow of clouds, letting out melodic chirps that echoed throughout the forest-scape, passing to the open lands on the other side that led to the base of Taegrin Caelum situated between the narrow valleys of the Basilisk Fang Mountains. It was a sight to behold.
As the journey back the academy went by, the moon started to rise atop the skies with shining stars in the backdrop, darkness completely enveloping the mountain chain, given the land a barren vibe.
I noticed the temperature going down more quickly, evident from the dense settling of snow flakes blocking our sight of the tree canopies on the other side. Condensed dew spread thorough the window glass instantly freezing them on spot.
I noticed Caera moving away from the window, from where she had been sitting from the start of our journey. She hasn't said a word, nor even looked at my side, I realised. Sensing my gaze on her, she turned her head to look at me.
"Are you feeling cold?" I asked, looking at her slightly shaking fingers, as she tried to hold on to the helm of her dress firmly to stop it.
She didn't answer, but nodded her head. And immediately shook her head, "I'll be fine, Grey." She said, with a coy smile.
I waited for a second, and moved close to her. I held my gaze, watching every single change of her facial expressions, as I firmly took her hand inside mine. She held her smile as it widened a bit more, tinge of redness started to spread across her cheeks and the edges of her eyes slightly wrinkled. But she didn't move away. Taking that as a positive sign, I sat closer to her so that our bodies touched each other ever so slightly as I let the aether from my core spread around us shielding from the coldness that was seeping through the side of the small opening in the door frame.
"You seem tired and exhausted. Do you want to rest for a while? We still have an hour of journey left till we make it to the academy?" I asked with a tinge of worry seeping out through my words.
Caera didn't answer, nor did she look at me. Her gaze was fixed on the window, looking at the sight of blurry haze that completely filled the surroundings, obstructing any view of the backdrop.
Caera slightly tilted her head towards my direction, and paused. She looked like she wanted to say something. But to my surprise, she laid her head on the crook of my shoulder. I didn't feel any weight of her, for an instance. I didn't move as I held my posture, being conscious, not to make any sudden movement that can startle her. But as few seconds passed by, she moved around trying to be more comfortable. I looked at her, trying to see her face. But all I could was her navy blue hair, tumbled around her face, looking more like glittering obsidian due to the lighting inside the carriage. I let myself move a bit, titling my shoulder in the process, so that she can find a better spot to settle down.
Few seconds of movement passed, and finally I felt her plant her head firmly and hold. A knowing smile crept up on my face. I froze in the middle, darting my eyes to the front to see Regis looking at us, with his aetheric eyes wiggling almost comically with a cheeky grin spread across his vulpine face. I moved my gaze back to Caera, ignoring him. I could almost feel his laughter inside my head. I shook my head trying not to fall for his childish actions.
"You know..." I tilted my head down to see Caera speaking, still lying against my shoulder. She continued without waiting for an answer, "This part of the region has always given me a bitter taste during my travels. I remember when I was six, Lenora and I were travelling through this land, something we most often used to do. Shopping through the central market areas, it used to be one of our 'mother-daughter' things that I secretly looked forward to. I would sit next to her and lie against her, grabbing her hands. I used to gaze through the window of our carriage, completely immersed in the serenity and the seclusion of these lands. It was always a peaceful sight."
I could understand that feeling, I thought to myself. But then what changed to make it bitter? I wondered. I knew she was gonna tell me about it, so I kept my silence and perked up my ears to listen to her words carefully. After a small pause, she continued, "it was during one that travel my mother told me that I was adopted. That I've been 'given' to the Denoir's to help me grow as a soldier for the high sovereign. It was during that travel, that I met my mentor for the first time. We weren't going for shopping, but to train as a soldier, I figured." She paused, letting out an audible breath.
"I've crossed by these mountains and the groves for Vritra knows how many times, ever since. During my time at the academy. Or everytime I was summoned by my mentor for training sessions. I remember that I used to look out of the window. But you know what I felt during those times?" She had stopped talking. Waiting for me to answer, I realised. I was still dazed by this sudden reveal of the information, that I was speechless. I was take back to my time as an orphan and my interactions with headmaster Wilbeck during the early days when she told me about my status as an orphan. I stopped myself from diving into those memories and promptly shook my head, "What did you feel?", I asked Caera.
She didn't answer for a long time, that I almost thought that she had fallen asleep. But her voice came out, filled with melancholy. "I felt...alone." Silence spread around the carriage. Only the sound of carriage tires spinning on the icy roads audible. I wanted to break the silence. I wanted to tell her that I can understand how she felt...she's feeling, I wanted to tell her about my past life....Won't she understand? I thought to myself. Speaking about my past life has never ended in a good way till now, that I'm almost scared to even think about revealing it anymore.
I placed my hand on hers, and held it in mine. Hoping that this gesture would somehow bring her back from the lifetime of sadness she's been holding back inside her. But her hands didn't move. She let me hold on to her. I didn't relent, and tightened my grip on her hand, interlocking my fingers between hers. Once strong, calloused hands suddenly felt fragile and ready to break. I softened my grip, squeezing it from time to time, to let her know that my attention is on her.
Seeing that she had gone silent, I opened my mouth for the first time since this conversation started. "Caera, I..."
I stopped, as she rose up from my shoulders and tilted her head up to meet mine. Her hair covered for the most of her face. Although I could see traces of tears painting her cheeks and shining against the light inside the carriage. Her eyes red, redder than the ruby-like jewels they enveloped. She looked...tired. I kept my gaze on her face, my eyebrows knitted with worry and confusion. Worried that the elegant, almost aloof natured girl has gone, and confused about my own shortcomings in such matters.
My mind darted back to the time in the snowy region of the relictombs, the vision of her clearing the snow, I remembered her figure, walking in front of me, like nothing can touch her. Her elegance and the air of nobility, is something I've grown to like, more than her matured face. I gulped down audibly, and decided to stop whatever that I was going to think about.
I noticed that Caera has been looking at me, her face slightly relaxed, with a somber smile that completely masked the face that was filled with sorrow few moments ago.
Then she spoke again with her smile still unwavering, "But...somehow I could feel that this time was different." She paused, her eyes darted to mine, carrying so many emotions and meanings, that I wondered if I ever could uncover all of them. Her voice broke me out of my self-contemplation, making my face lit up. "I don't feel...alone." She grabbed my arm tighter. More tighter than she had done before. She moved closer to me. Our gazes still fixed on each other.
I felt my mind spinning around, sending me signals, begging me to react. To do something. But, I just sat there, unwavering, just like her smile was. But she didn't seem to mind about my lack of response. She went back to lay against me, only this time her head was closer to my chest and her arms tightly grasping mine inside. I felt her grip on my hand get harder, as she squeezed hers against mine, making me realise that I still had still been holding on to her. She imitated my actions, as her thumb slowly caressing my skin.
"I feel peaceful, again." Caera broke the silence with her soft, yet resolute voice. After a pause she asked, "what about you, Grey?" her voice slightly quivering.
"I feel the same. And I'm glad that you can finally feel it after such a long time, Caera." I answered honestly. "Now rest. We'll reach the academy soon." I finished, making sure that she would take her time to get better. She didn't answer, but I felt her head moving up and down, rubbing against my chest. Silence fell in the carriage once again, as I focused on her rhythmic breathing, realising that she had fallen asleep so soon. It felt like a melodic tune that I had never been given the opportunity to hear.
I slightly shook my head at that thought, and my lips quirked up, as I basked on this growing feelings that had stirred up inside me.