*R18 content*
It took a moment for Selene to recover from what Ben had just said. Did she hear him right? Did he say that he remembers her birthday every year? Why would he when he's the one who broke up with her?
Ben reached across the table to hold the hand with the ring.
Selene withdrew her hand quickly and stood up.
"I'm sorry, but it's time for me to go," said Selene, as she stood up.
Ben stood up as well and said, "But, but you're not done with your food."
Selene put her napkin on her plate, and started grabbing her belongings while saying, "My friends are waiting for me. We're having drinks at 8:30 near my house, umm, you know, for my birthday and all, and um, you know how traffic can be. Thank you for this meal and I look forward to hearing about the results of the competition." She started walking toward the door.
Ben thought about letting her go, but then changed his mind. He stopped her near the door and turned her around. Pulling her close to him, he bent down to look into her eyes, and said, "I'm sorry, I just couldn't help reaching for you. But if you're wearing the ring, then that must mean that..."
Selene twisted out of his arms and cut off what he was about to say with, "It means nothing. I wear that ring whenever I'm wearing a blue outfit. That's all." She looked down after she said that and started playing with her bracelet. But she didn't make a move to open the door behind her, even though her heart was pounding at what seemed like a thousand beats per minute.
Ben looked at her for a few moments and then lifted her chin up with one hand. Selene was surprised to find that he seemed amused. She didn't know what to make of that, so she shifted her eyes downward and to the left side, so she didn't have to look at him directly. He said, "You're lying. I could always tell when you were lying because you could never look me in the eye, and you'd start playing with your jewelry."
Selene turned her eyes back to him, looking right into the eyes she'd longed to look into again for all these years. She thought, "My God, what am I doing? And why won't my heart stop pounding so hard? Am I this weak? What about all the pain? All the suffering he put me through?" She was very conflicted as she said, "Ok, fine. I wear this ring on my birthdays. I don't know why. Call it habit. You know I'm a sucker for tradition. But that doesn't mean that I'm pining for you or that I'm somehow waiting for you. Because I'm not."
Ben took ahold of her arms and pulled her closer to him until he could wrap his strong arms completely around her. She struggled to get out of his grasp, but then heard Ben whispering, "I know you weren't waiting, but I wish you were. I wish you were," against her hair.
Selene stopped moving when she felt one of Ben's hands patting her hair like he used to whenever she was upset. "Oh God," she thought, "Why is he being like this? Why am *I* being like this?"
His embrace felt so familiar. She breathed in his scent. The same cologne combined with a new soap and his natural scent. She had missed this smell so much. Even more, she had missed this feeling. The feeling of safety. In her early years, safety was one of the things she craved the most but never received. Later, as a preteen, when she was finally adopted, her parents tried to make her feel safe but for some reason it was just difficult. It wasn't until she met Ben that she finally felt that sense of security. But then he broke her heart. For no good reason. If he could do that, then how can she ever feel safe again? And yet…And yet…Here they were. Again.
Selene raised her head to look up at Ben, intending to end the embrace. But then, Ben looked down at her and their eyes locked in a gaze that melted away the years that had separated them. Selene seemed to sense there was something more behind the golden eyes that were shining below his furrowed brows. After a few moments, their heads started moving toward each other until their lips met in what started out as a gentle kiss. Ben was bending down, while Selene was on her tiptoes. Then, Ben pulled Selene even closer to him, almost holding her up in the air. They stood there for a while, kissing each other demurely, as if they were testing the waters. Selene couldn't help but let out little noises of pleasure, while Ben started breathing heavier.
Ben pulled slightly away to look at Selene's lips, which were flushed with a dark pink from their kisses. "These are the lips I've been craving," he thought, then began nibbling on Selene's bottom lip. When she let out a little moan, he was satisfied that he could move forward. He pushed his tongue gently in between her lips as if asking for entrance. She was already lost in the feelings from the past and let him in. Once she did, the kiss transformed. Their lips were hungry for each other after being denied for so long.
Ben pushed Selene against the wall nearby. His tongue licked the inside of her mouth as if he was tasting the nectar of the gods. His mind was racing as he thought, "God, she tastes so good, like the wine we had earlier." Selene couldn't help but let out a moan, but it was muffled by Ben's mouth on her. He sucked on her tongue while moving his hands slowly all over her back. Then his hands moved down to her small waist, while his mouth continued to dance around her tongue. He couldn't believe how she had stayed just the same after all these years.
Ben started moving his mouth down her neck, nibbling here and there along the way. There would definitely be marks left where he sucked and gently bit. Selene tried to hold back her moans, but the best she could do was keep them quieter than usual. They were in a restaurant after all. "My God, what am I doing? We're in a restaurant!," she thought. But she didn't stop. She couldn't stop.
As Ben moved his hands further down from her waist, he dared to cup her round bottom. Selene was a little startled by this, but because it felt so good, she didn't try to remove his hands. Still, even though he was caught up in the moment, Ben sensed her hesitance and moved his hands back up to her waist. Instead, he kissed and sucked at her neck down her chest until he was at the first button near her cleavage.
While Ben had his hands all over her body, Selene was feeling every muscle in his back, and it was driving her crazy. She felt the wetness between her legs, but she didn't have time to feel ashamed of herself for giving into her desires like this because she could feel his hardness too. It was pressing against her, hard as steel, just like she remembered. She could almost feel it inside her, thrusting in and out. And these thoughts just drowned out all sense and rationality. "This is insane," she thought. "How did the day turn out like this?" Then she felt Ben's mouth moving down toward her cleavage. It felt like bliss and she let out a little moan. She wanted him to undo the buttons there and go further.
She was surprised when he lifted his head and started kissing her neck once more. Not that she didn't like it mind you. That also felt heavenly. Then he started nibbling on her ear, sucking on it, then fondling it with his tongue. He was holding her tight and Selene felt like she was in a trance. He started to whisper, "Selene, I, I…"
And that's when she moved away from him, cutting him off by saying, "Wait a minute."
She was afraid of what he was going to say. Selene removed his hands away from her and started adjusting her clothes. She took a couple breaths and started moving her hands slowly back and forth in front of her like she learned in that one yoga class she took three years ago but then dropped because she forgot she hates doing anything related to exercise with other people around.
Without looking at Ben, she said, "I think it's safe to say we both just got caught up in the moment. We haven't seen each other in a long time and maybe some old feelings came up. But this doesn't mean anything right? I mean, nothing's changed. Well, not nothing. I have two Master's degrees and two PhDs. I'm now a professor. I've created something revolutionary. Even if you decide not to invest, you have to give me that. And I have friends who love me and support me and they're doing well too. You know Peter is now a prosecutor. And Lucy, she's a nurse. A great nurse. And she's practically married. And I, umm, I'm highly regarded in my field…"
"You're starting to ramble, Selene," Ben said, cutting her off. He was smiling, but the smile didn't reach his eyes because all he heard was that "this doesn't mean anything."
"Yah, I do that, don't I?," Selene said, laughing awkwardly. "Ok, then. I'll just get going then," she continued as she picked up her belongings that had dropped on the floor earlier.
"Let me give you a ride," offered Ben.
Selene rubbed the back of her neck for a second and said, "Um, I don't think that's a good idea. I'll just call a car service to take me back to campus."
Ben said, "Ok. But let me wait with you until they get here so I know you're safe."
Selene looked at Ben quizzically and said, "There's plenty of people outside. I'll be safe, no worries."
But Ben was adamant and said, "But this is downtown and you never know. Please?"
"Alright, I guess. If you insist," said Selene, while thinking, "Why can't I say no to this guy?"
Ben gave a mischievous smile and replied, "You know I always get my way in the end."