You look at Ashanti for a moment as she's looking away, trying to check for anything in her body language that could hint that she's the Ashanti you knew before you died.
"This must be a coincidence. It HAS to be." you think.
"Put yourself together Mikado...." You think, almost forcefully.
You look forward for a while, before ashanti speaks.
"Look. How can I gain your trust?" she says.
You detect the seriousness in her voice, but you wave it off.
"Currently, you'll need to do a lot more than buy me and ale and send me on my way." you say, before heading up to your room in the inn.
Ashanti waits for you to head into your room for a moment before sighing at the bar counter.
"Jeez, that Mikado is the same as he was in College...I should try a little harder." she thinks, before calling the bartender for another drink.
"Tough day, huh? That conversation you had didn't look too pleasant." says the bartender.
"Oh just the usual, argument and such." says Ashanti with a chuckle.
The bartender grimaces before he speaks once more.
"Here's a tip for ya if you'll listen in onto it. Be careful around Mikado. He maybe seem nice on the outside, but he's a loose cannon when you're on his bad side." says the bartender.
"Trust me, I've known that man for a LONG time....I guess..." she says, her voice trailing off slowly as she stirs her drink.
You sit on your bed in the small room, only thinking. You want to trust her, but are you really wanting to, or is it just the nostalgia hitting you? You truly cannot decide.
Another flashback. This time at a bar. You and Ashanti in College.
You and her have been squabbling there for at least 30 minutes about different topics, you receiving more than a few grimaces and frowns.
"So Mikado, what are your career goals?" says Ashanti.
"Oh, well I have a multiple year scholarship to Tokyo Seika University. I plan on going there for Manga. How about yourself?" you say, smiling.
"Oh gosh, nothing special, I might go to a smaller college, just to save myself the effort and time. It'll just make things easier. If you really are curious though, It'll likely be for Illustration or Voice Acting."
"If that's the case, maybe I'll have you on as a Voice Actor for when I get an Anime for one of my mangas someday!" you say, chuckling.
Ashanti for whatever reason doesn't respond. She stays quiet, and the bar goes entirely silent for what seems like hours. Your heart races, and a lump works its' way in the middle of your throat.
"Mikado, can I talk about our relationship?" she says before sighing slowly.
"Uh....sure?" you say, attempting to hide your nervous tone.
"You know I'll always love you, right?" she says.
"Well, yes, of course I do." you respond, interlocking your own hands together.
"Well, I don't...I just think I need time away from you. I just....I just don't know if we work anymore. I'm sorry." she says, before walking off.
You let out a slow breath as you see her walking away into the light outside. She turns, and smiles, before getting in her car and driving away.
Those words lingered with you until the fateful day that you were killed. You forgot the fact that you fell into a depression for 4 years, and never recovered. There were reasons for why you were always feeling miserable, and you avoided rehearing her voice saying that in your head for so long that it destroyed you, and the tireless amount of work you had to do over your career only made it worse.
You never talked once after you and her broke up. Not even almost 30 years later. Did she love you? Or was it just a ruse? A dirty lie? You made countless holes in your wall over the time you thought about it until your knuckles hurt and bled. All that was inside of you for years was anger and pure disappointment. You hated yourself. You hated the pain that she put upon you after what she said. A relationship that you expected would last so much longer than it did.
The punching delved into substance abuse, which corrupted your mind for a long time. You truly never fully recovered.
On top of that, you never realized how truly unhappy you were until the moments before your death. Your own emotion and mishandling it is seemingly exactly what pushed you along the path that ultimately ended your life. If you could replay it all over again, you wouldn't hesitate but say yes. Anything, for another chance.
A/N: Mental health is a serious issue, and I also dealt with this exact situation (except for the substance part, drugs are bad) Please, take care of yourself mentally. Please, call 988 if it gets too bad for you to handle alone. Help is always around, and don't be afraid to seek it. Now, Back to the story.
Ashanti still sits at the bar counter. You've realized that this looks exactly like that day, but your mind attempts to clear it away.
You sit back onto the barstool. "Glass. 3 shots whisky over ice."
The bartender quickly nods, knowing what this drink means in your case. You've told him the story, just changed around a bit of course. This is the drink you told him you'll order when sulking on the thoughts.
"Here you are. Feel better soon, kid." he says, punching your shoulder lightly.
Ashanti glances at you momentarily but you catch it before she turns away.
"She knows." you think.
"Now's the question. Shall I break my cover, or keep it going...." you wonder to yourself.
You let out a sly grin. You know exactly what to do, and you'll likely break cover, but you truly couldn't care less. The one who waits misses out.
A/N: Ok, I just removed it, too bored.