"Is it good news, truly?" Darren asked with a raised brow, Zariah nodded in agreement
"Darren, you have taken on so much responsibility since my father passed on. To secure my position as Alpha, you have had to give up a lot, it is time you started living for you...your duty to me should not hinder your happiness." Zariah said in a serious tone.
"Indeed, finding one's mate is good news...it should be, and so it is beyond me why you would consider doing such a sacrilegious thing." Darren said in bafflement, Zariah quirked a brow at Darren's words
"Nile told you, didn't he?" Zariah asked knowingly, Darren nodded in agreement.
Zariah sighed quietly as she thought back to the words she had conveyed to the spirit guide through their mind link.
After arriving at her office, Zariah had been bombarded with memories, memories she would have done anything to forget...
Memories of the times when all she thought of, all she lived for was him... Caedmon Grey.
Caedmon Grey for whom she had turned against her own pack, Caedmon Grey whom she had given all she had and loved with all she was without reserve,
Caedmon Grey who had turned out to be a false mate, an impostor and all along, Zariah had been played the fool by the mate bond,
The mate bond, the most sacred bond of the supernatural creatures, the one greatest blessing from the creator,
Finding the other half of your own soul, that one person that had been created specially to complete you...To others, the mate bond had been a source of happiness, of pride and fulfillment,
And yet to Zariah, this same mate bond had brought nothing but pain and suffering, to Zariah...to Zariah, the mate bond was a curse, a bondage she would never sentence herself to ever again.
This was why the moment Zariah had stepped into her office and had been flooded with those horrible... horrible memories, Zariah had been filled with shame and self loathing.
Zariah knew her ruin and that of the crimson moon pack had begun when she had fallen to the facade of the mate bond,
With the coming of age ceremony approaching, although Zariah knew she would not find her mate on this event as she had already experienced this coming of age ceremony in her previous lifetime,
However the fact that Caedmon had been a false mate left Zariah with a great fear. The mate bond...that sacred, holy bond of the creator could actually be falsified by sorcery.
How could Zariah still hope to meet her true mate when she had fallen so deeply for a false bond? How could a false bond have felt so real...so true?
Zariah could not understand it, but it terrified her to realize once again, in this lifetime... she might just end up being a victim to the mate bond... again.
And so Zariah had decided she would never, ever allow it to happen...it did not matter if the mate bond was true or not, Zariah no longer wanted it, she wanted nothing to do with a mate,
If perhaps her true mate was still out there somewhere, Zariah hoped she would never find him. The mate bond was a curse Zariah would rather be rid off.
A few hours ago, after stepping into her office, Zariah had sent a mind link to Nile requesting all the ancient texts on the crimson barrier to be sent over to her office, Zariah had also asked another question,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few hours earlier....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Nile... send over the ancient texts on the crimson barrier at your convenience, I will go through them personally." Zariah thought to the spirit guide through their mind link.
"I will have it sent over before the day runs out." Nile agreed,
"There is one more thing I would like to inquire about Nile..." Zariah trailed off, she was not certain on how to breach the topic with the spirit guide but Zariah knew she had to.
"The mate bond...can it be destroyed?" Zariah thought to Nile,
The spirit guide had given no response for a long moment, probably stunned by the unexpected question.
"Well, there are some known methods, however they are only to be used in the worst case scenario of rejection or death of one of the fated pair." Nile replied hesitantly, Zariah heaved a sigh of relief.
"Tell me." Zariah requested, the spirit guide was once again quiet for a long time before he responded.
"Other methods are too dangerous, however a powerful enough spirit elemental could carry out the process." Nile revealed,
"You are the spirit guide, the most powerful spirit elemental I have. The mate bond...are you able to severe it?" Zariah asked again,
"Yes, Alpha." Nile replied and Zariah's eyes fluttered closed.
"Good, the I will count on you Nile..." Zariah thought to Nile,
"My apologies Alpha, but I must know, for who is this meant for?" Nile asked, Zariah could hear the apprehensive tone in Nile's voice as it sounded through their mind link.
"For me Nile." Zariah replied, cutting off the mind link to Nile's alarmed exclamations.
~~~~~~~~~
Zariah had asked the spirit guide to prepare her a method to severe the mate bond, a source of future trouble was better destroyed completely as early as possible,
Zariah was not surprised Nile had informed Darren, Zariah had always been painfully stubborn in nature and whenever her mind was set to something, there was hardly ever anything that could change it,
Of all Zariah's confidants, Darren was believed to be the sole person with the highest possibility of success in changing Zariah's mind,
This was precisely because Zariah held great love and respect for the head warrior who was her only living blood relative,
This was also why Darren had been the one who held the strongest opposition against Zariah's acceptance of Caedmon Grey.
"It is something I must do." Zariah replied,
"Why? Why must you give up any chances of finding your mate? For Crimson Moon? Zari...you have done enough,"
"For the past three years, you have lived only for your duty as Alpha, you have given up everything and yet you dare ask me to live for myself? When are you going to start living for your ownself?" Darren asked earnestly,
"Never Darren... Never, do you not understand it? Crimson Moon... this pack and everything it is, this is my life." Zariah clarified firmly.
Zariah had tried living for herself once and just how had that turned out? Zariah would be damned before she let herself take the same path again... she did not want a mate, not now... not ever.
"I know just how important the pack is to you, but to severe your mate bond Zari? That is foregoing all chances of ever finding your mate!" Darren exclaimed.
"I do not wish to discuss it Darren." Zariah finally replied, returning her attention to the file on her desk.
Zariah did not have any methods to explain her reasons and so she had no plans to deliberate over it for any longer.
"I understand, however I will never allow it." Darren declared as he rose to his feet, Zariah sighed as she continued working on her file.
"You also have something to say?" Zariah asked Allen who had been quietly listening to the conversation.
"Nothing Darren has not already said Alpha." Allen replied in his usual calm tone,
Zariah rolled her eyes, she was not even surprised that Allen shared the same opinion with Darren, if Zariah did not know what she knew about her past lifetime... she would also disapprove of her own decision to severe the mate bond.
Darren rounded the table and placed a kiss on Zariah's forehead.
"I love you Zari and I hope you know you do not owe Crimson Moon anymore than you have already given." Darren said, patting Zariah's head tenderly before he took his leave.
Zariah stared after Darren for a short while, there were so many words stuck in her throat, words she would never be able to say...a truth she could never speak of, a burden she would carry alone.
"Something about you is different Zari... I cannot tell if it is a good difference or a bad one." Allen mumbled with a shake of his head as he also took his leave to carry out the duties Zariah had assigned to him.
"The debt I owe to Crimson Moon... this debt of blood, even if I were to die a thousand times over... I would never be able to truly repay it." Zariah whispered quietly,
Zariah's eyes fluttered closed as memories of the dead and dismembered bodies of her Crimson wolves flashed across her mind.
"If the creator may grant me one wish, I hope only to bear the consequences of my past decisions alone. This time, may the pain be upon myself alone, if anyone must be sacrificed...may my life be the only one forfeited." Zariah whispered quietly, her tone filled with pain.