The real fear comes from within.
Courage is a choice.
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The smell of fried eggplant has forced its way into my nose. With my eyes still closed, 50% conscious I tried not to be tempted by it.
But all failed, my stomach rebelled and asked for its share.
I opened my eyes and looked at the clock on my desk, it was already 10.07 am. Did I make it today, to wake up late?
Since my stomach couldn't be compromised anymore, I decided to go to the kitchen to enjoy my breakfast. Of course, with my favorite food, eggplant chili sauce, and eggplant fries Oooooo, it must be delicious.
I sat next to my mother who was having breakfast, leaning on her shoulder making as sad a face as possible. So that she knows my code.
It turned out that mother realized my code, finally, she took my breakfast and fed me. Yes, that's how when I miss my mother's bribe I will not feel ashamed or proud to do that to her. Because it's very special to me.
A puff of smoke from the warm rice, and the eggplant sauce were ready to go to my mouth.
Hmmm, Heaven on earth. This is the most delicious dish the world has ever seen.
"Hehe, so cute, how come mother's favorite child asks to be fed. It eats itself"
While scratching my head.
"Yeah, yeah. Mom kisses me"
As I stood up my mother kissed my forehead and left to wash the dishes.
I don't know why this morning I wanted to be pampered by her.
***
"Where are you going. It smells good this afternoon, it's neat and you've taken a shower too?"
Mom asked me before I walked out the back door.
"Mom, I want to play at Risky's house. He invites me to play and I think tonight I want to sleep at his house"
"Yes, it's there. Remember not to bother there"
I just smiled nodding my head.
Mother allowed me because she knew that Risky's house was not far from my house. He's the new neighbor.
Risky is my senior in junior high school, so I don't often play at his house. Only he just moved into his new house, right behind my house. But it's not right behind my house, but it's about 200 meters away. Go to his house if this afternoon is still good I think. Because his house is in the middle of the forest, the back of my house is already a forest. And the road still feels strange to pass, because it is also a new road. If you say in Javanese, people say they are still "Singup". Singup signifies something strange and has a different air.
This street is very quiet, even though it is still noon this street looks dark because many big trees block the sunlight to enter. And the forest on my right and the left looks dark and foggy in the distance.
It feels like it's been a long time going down this road, even though the house is visible in front of me.
"crack"
I heard there are broken branches around in this forest. Ahh, maybe just a bird or a fallen twig.
I stopped walking when I heard the sighs of people who were out of breath like they had run far and were gasping for air.
The voice came from behind the durian tree on my right.
I approached the tree, and I saw the person's feet.
"Hey, H. Come here"
I was startled back from the tree and immediately turned towards the voice that called out to me. It turned out to be Risky.
"Ahhh okay"
Before going to Risky's house, I made sure to get closer to the tree.
And he is no longer behind the durian tree.
I rushed after Risky.
"What were you doing there, standing stiffly in front of that big durian tree."
"Ahh, nothing. I just saw that there was an animal in the tree"
I answered with a nod.
"Don't be too long in front of the tree, yesterday someone said there was a devil there"
Risky added.
"Oh, are you sure?"
"Ah haha, see your face is tense like that H. Come on in, you coward hehe"
Is what Risky said true? But he said he was just kidding.
Risky introduced the whole house to me. Since he was alone at home, because his older sister, mother, and father were going to the next village to mourn his mother's sister's grandmother.
So he invited me here to accompany him.
"You are here until they come home huh. So accompany me"
I nodded my head at him because I also felt sorry for leaving him alone in his new home. I decided to accompany him until his family came home anyway I had promised him yesterday.
He explained that his parents and brother would arrive at night.
We both decided to watch tv, out of boredom.
After watching TV for a long time and getting bored, Risky finally decided to invite me to play.
"Let's play?"
"What are you playing, it's 5 o'clock this afternoon"
I replied lazily.
I saw him silent for a moment while sucking his thumb.
"Ohh, yes. How about we build huts."
"Sure, but where?"
"On the porch"
I just granted his request.
He has prepared everything from umbrellas, sarongs, raffia ropes.
After complete, we both brought all the equipment to the terrace
front.
When we both came out of the door, the cold wind hit us both silent for a second.
I looked ahead, a very, very scary scene I guess. Dark forest, big trees, and not a single light could be seen there.
"You are sure?"
I confirmed to him again.
"Yes, rest assured. Why, are you afraid?"
"No, it's normal"
Honestly, I'm a person who doesn't like being called a coward.
Risky and I are preparing to build the huts.
It's very simple to make everything can stand and everything is closed leaving one gap for entry and exit. Not until it took a long time, our huts were finished. Yes, you can say another name for the tent.
Risky asked me to help him carry food and snacks, like lunch in a tent.
Because it was very dark outside and far from residential areas, I turned on the porch light, the yellow light was not that bright even though it was already very dark outside, the yellow light seemed to have 20% of its life.
In the tent, we also installed a charging flashlight that can be lit for at least two hours.
I'm now in my tent at Risky's dam.
Because we were hungry, we finally ate the food we brought.
While eating, Risky told me about his elementary school days which was so funny, it made me laugh out loud.
The two of us were silent for a moment when there was a flashlight
Focused on our tent. Risky and I immediately turned off the flashlights in the tent. And the flashlight aimed at our tent appeared again. He flicked the flashlight left and right as if signaling a code.
Risky and I didn't dare to make a sound and got out of the tent, we decided to remain silent in the tent.
After 10 minutes of waiting, the flashlight was gone. Quickly Risky and I went straight into the house turning on all the lights. And lock the front door.
I just realized that my body was shaking and Risky too. The two of us sat side by side and very close. One sofa chair that should only accommodate one person, the two of us sat.
We sat for half an hour, not daring and moving anywhere.
I was confused with myself as, to why I became a coward like this.
I decided to call Awan here.
"Awan, where are you. Come to me"
I waited for more than five minutes he never came.
"Tok, Tok, Tok"
We were both startled, jumping off the chairs at the same time. And hide behind the chair.
"Who is that?"
Risky whispered to me.
"How would I know"
I answered in a whisper.
"Risky, open the door son. Her mother has come"
Huh. We both breathed a sigh of relief.
Risky opened the door. Yes, they did come.
"Hey, H. Thank you for accompanying Risky at home"
"Always welcome aunty".
I called Risky's mother as aunty. Yes, that is so.
***
Because Risky's new house doesn't have a toilet yet, finally Risky, I, and also foreigners decided to go to their foreign brother whose house is in a residential area. Yes, it will pass by my house too.
Tonight is a full moon, so Risky's front yard looks bright.
And now the three of us are walking in the alley that I passed this afternoon.
It was very dark, Risky held his mother's hand tightly. I walk to the left of Risky's mother.
When the three of us walked it seemed to pass quickly, now we have passed behind my house.
I looked at the atmosphere in my house was already dark. And where is Awan? I called him and he didn't come.
And finally arrived at his brother's aunt's house Yes, we didn't have to go into his house, because the toilet was outside. And next to it is cattle.
Risky has entered first to defecate, the white man is also not here. Hmmm. Where's aunty?
The moon is perfectly round and the light is also clearly visible to light the way.
In front of this toilet, there is a small alleyway. Maybe it's about 2 meters high from here, yup I was at the top and the alley was down.
Not long after, I saw someone squatting down there. She's a girl, hmmm maybe aunty.
He squatted and walked stooped, squatted again, and walked again. Five steps walked he squatted and walked again.
Is aunty urinating?
But why move, move. I watched him walk to the end of the alley. I decided to go down to see if it was black.
"aunty..aunty?"
Before I could go down the stairs, someone called me.
"H, where are you going?"
That's a bullshit sound. Where are you?
"Loh, where are you, aunty?"
I asked while searching for his whereabouts.
"aunty, defecate in the toilet next to the cattle. Here in the back."
I immediately pressed myself to the door where Risky, defecate.
Cold sweat ran down my forehead. Why do I feel this kind of fear?
I usually don't.
He's the cool one
That is an old grandmother who wears Javanese traditional clothes, it's only natural that she walked stooped.
Where did the Clouds go, and why am I this weak. What's wrong with me, until I didn't realize that it was a ghost.
What is wrong with me.
____
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Where is Awan, why do I feel this scared? What is wrong with me.
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