Connie.
After what happened last night, I couldn't get a wink of sleep. The images of yesterday's events just kept on playing over and over in my head... Tormenting me... Not allowing me to get even an ounce of sleep.
I felt... Ashamed, and mad at myself. All the self defense classes I took didn't help me at all. I almost got abused, I got beaten up, and I couldn't do anything about it.
I tried, but I was more scared of hurting him than I was of him hurting me!
For the first time, I was actually envious of the drunk state Casey was in. I mean sure, he'll wake up with one hell of a hangover, but at least he managed to get some sleep in the first place... A lot of it actually.
I spent the entire night listening to rock music. Call me crazy, but I find rock relaxing. Something nobody in my family has ever understood. Of course rock didn't really help with my lack of sleep, but it got me more relaxed, and at that moment, that was all I needed.
And now, here I am in Casey's room, waiting for him to wake up. And I've waited for a while, so I think it's time I wake him up myself... Perhaps opening the curtains will help? I know he hates it, but it's necessary. Plus with everything in his room so dark and depressing, some light in this place would do it some good.
I just never understood why he wanted his room painted black. Not that he needs a reason, if it makes him happy, then I guess it's okay.
I heard him groan when I opened the curtains. The room looked less gloomy, and the cool fresh morning breeze made the room less stuffy.
"Fuck! Could you turn off those god-damn lights?" he changed his sleeping position and covered his face with a pillow, "And switch off the air conditioner for christ-sake!"
"Come on sleepy head," I snatched his pillow and smacked his head with it. He hissed when the light touched his face.
"Cooonnniiiieeee!!! Go away!" his voice was scratchy.
"It's time to get up,"
"Just give me ten more minutes... I'm still tired___"
"Too tired to hear about the guy I met at cheer camp?"
"What guy?!" he immediately sat up straight, and clutched his head in his hands, I bet he was regretting drinking the way he did. "What 'guy'?"he spat the word guy as if it was poison.
Truth be told, there was no guy in the first place. I just knew that the mere mention of me meeting a boy was enough to get Casey up and active. It made me burst into laughter.
"There was no guy Casey... But you're up, that's a good start!"
"Argh! Do you have any idea how hard my head is thumping right now?!"
"And whose fault is that?"
"Could you stop shouting?!"
"I'm not even shouting... You just think I am 'cause of your hangover," I gave him some painkillers and a bottle of water I'd brought earlier, "You seriously have to quit your drinking habits,"
"I don't have drinking habits!" he put the pills in his mouth and drank it with the entire bottle.
"Sounds like something someone with drinking habits would say,"
"I don't. Have. Drinking problems. I can quit drinking anytime I want... I just choose not to!"
"Whatever you say," I let it slide this time. I'm seriously not in the mood to start an argument with Casey. Once they start, they never end! Probably because none of us is usually willing to back down, or accept defeat.
I sat down on his couch as he stood up to go to the bathroom.
And right then, my mind just drifted off back to last night. I had no idea which was worse... The fact that I almost got raped last night, or the fact that I can't tell anyone about it.
Casey would flip! He'd most probably hunt down the guy and kill him once he finds him. My mom would probably cry first, and once she was done, make a huge scene about the issue. She would treat me like I was a vulnerable kid in need of assistance in doing everything. Afterwards, she would most probably use her connections as a lawyer to make sure the guy pays for it... And maybe even go as far as pulling a few strings to make sure he gets convicted.
My dad, he might blow everything out of proportion. He'd find the guy, beat him up, call the cops, shame him on national television. And after he's been convicted, make me walk around with security everywhere I go, that is of course if he ever allows me to go anywhere in the first place.
None of these being the life I picture myself wanting to live, so... I might as well keep it all to myself.
"Bee?" Casey called from the bathroom.
"Mmh?"
"Are you still going to that dumb council meeting later today?"
"Uh-huh,"
"Natalya is tagging along?"
"Yeah,"
"I see... Are aunt Sylvia and uncle Dan at home?"
"No,"
"That's a relief, I thought I was going to have to come up with excuses,"
"Yeah,"
"Connie?" he came out of the bathroom with no shirt on and a towel around his neck. He gave me a concerned look.
"What?" I raised a brow at him, hoping he'd stop giving me those eyes... It felt like he was digging deep within my thoughts... And I didn't like it one bit.
"Are you okay?" Don't tell me he's suspecting something.
"Of course I'm okay. Why would you think I'm not?"
"Other than the fact that you got startled when I called... And the fact that you're giving me one word answers?" he sat beside me, "Are you mad at me for calling you yesterday?"
"Mad at you? NO! Of course not,"
"Then what's with the one word answers?"
"It's nothing... I'm just not in the mood to talk,"
"Not in the mood to talk? Now I know that something is definitely wrong somewhere. What is it?"
"Casey___"
"I know your mad at me... You just don't want to say it,"
"It isn't you... It's just... It's a lot of nonsense,"
"Why do I have a feeling I'm somehow a part of this 'nonsense'"
"You aren't,"
Though in a sense, he kinda is... In fact he plays a major role in it.
If Casey hadn't gotten drank in the first place, them I wouldn't have been at that party either... And none of what happened would have happened. So yeah, he is part of my 'nonsense'... Not that I'm going to tell him that.
"I'm not getting convinced here," he backed away a little, raising his brow inquisively to get a better view of my face.
I hated the way he was trying to read me. And it's become a habit that he's gotten used to.
"Quit starring!"
"Sure, as soon as you stop lying,"
"I'm not lying,"
"Brianna!" he said in a serious tone. And the fact that he called me 'Brianna' and not 'Bee' or 'Connie', tells me that he wasn't dropping the topic until I talked to him.
"It's just..." should I really tell him what happened? "... School stuff. A lot of pressure Cee! I just feel... Tired! Being president is hectic, you know? And I should be getting ready for the back-to-school meeting later, instead, I'm here having a chat with you. Not to mention I'm exhausted as hell cause I didn't manage to get any sleep,"
"That last part might be on me... Sorry,"
"It's okay,"
"I really am Bee! You know I didn't mean to be a burden,"
"And you weren't!" I gave him a small smile. Helping people gives me a sense of peace. So peace is what I got from helping Casey get home... Even if it almost cost me my dignity and maybe even sanity. "Just... Refrain from calling me after midnight. It's a terrible habit,"
"Sure thing... But is that all that's bothering you? School politics?"
"I told you it was nonsense,"
"Nothing you tell me is nonsense," he put his hand around my shoulder and hugged me tight. And we just sat there for a while, not really saying anything at all.
Casey may act all mean and tough in front of people, but the guy is a sweetheart! He just thinks it's weakness to show emotion. Maybe one day, him, and every other guy out there will get that crazy thought out of their heads.
"You should go take a shower now... And get down for breakfast," I stood up.
To be honest, I was super hungry, and I don't think I was willing to wait for him to take a shower first. "I'll be downstairs,"
"Do you think I could have a ride?" he had a sweet innocent smile on his face... The kind he has when he wants something.
"That depends... If it's on my way then sure, why not?"
"Yesterday's address," he shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal.
Okay, maybe it wasn't a big deal, and I was the one making it a big deal. But either way, going back to that place isn't something I wanted to do.
Though driving Casey there might give me the opportunity to look for my phone and jacket... I left it there last night during the umm.... The fight.
But I still feel that's not reason enough for me to go back to that place.
"As long as you're downstairs in the next thirty minutes,"
"I'll be ready in fifteen," he smiled and rushed towards the bathroom.. But then he stopped halfway there and turned towards me with a questioning look. What did he want this time? "Isn't that Brian's hoodie?" he eyed what I was wearing.
"It is. Why?"
"He gave it to you?"
"No! I stripped him off it. Of course he gave it to me silly!"
"Oh. I see, " and he proceeded to the bathroom.
"Why were you asking?"
"Curiosity I guess," and he disappeared out of sight.
Curiosity? I doubt that. But asking him won't help. He won't tell me a single thing.
Out of everyone in Casey's life, I know him best... At least that what he says. But even I still find him a mystery... Like he's hiding something. He makes it so hard to read him. Trying to read Casey is like trying to read a Japanese book upside down... It's impossible!
But I really can't think on an empty stomach.
I found Sarah at the dining table eating peacefully and at a terribly slow rate... Like she didn't even want to. My mom wasn't around, and she's the only one who forces her to eat. So the reason she's eating like someone who doesn't want to is a question only she can answer.
She hadn't noticed my presence yet, so she got kinda spooked and tense when I hugged her from behind.
"Relax... It's just me," I assured her and her muscles visibly relaxed under my arms.
"You scared me!" You don't say. I plopped down on the seat next to her.
"Well you're awfully jumpy in the morning? Or is a one time thing? Or maybe you're just not a morning person, " I helped myself to some cake.
"My mind just... Kinda drifted off. So when you came, you like, snapped it back to reality... You know?"
"Yeah... I actually do," my mind drifted back to last night... When I zoned off when Brian came barging into the room.
"I um... I saw you last night," Sarah said barely in a whisper.
"What?"
"Last night? I saw you when you were___"
"Oh yeah, right, that," the last thing I needed was for Sarah to announce it to the entire household that I snuck out last night. A maid might hear her an end up telling my parents... Doesn't she know the walls have ears?
"Perhaps it isn't a good idea to announce it to the entire house," I gave her a pleading look, scanning the living room to make sure nobody was ears dropping on our conversation, "I just had to get Casey out of a tight spot,"
I figured that was enough of an explanation. She nodded, acknowledging she had heard me.
Though I noticed that at the mention of Casey's name, Sarah would instantly go quiet... Which is funny cause Casey would do the same when I'd mention Sarah to him. Something is definitely up with the two of them... I just don't know what.
"Could you please pass me the juice,"
"Sure," she grabbed the jug but then immediately retracted her hand, as if she'd been burnt. She hugged her left hand to her chest...
"Is everything okay?"
"Huh?" she pretended to not have heard me the first time.
"What's wrong with your left hand? Is it in pain or anything? Do you need___"
"I'm fine. I just slipped, fell and landed really badly on my hand," she tried to laugh it off but it came out more like someone who's choking.
"Did you get it checked?"
"I was clumsy as always... It's nothing 'hospital needy'. It's probably just a minor sprain,"
"Or a major dislocation,"
"Connie, you're overreacting!" I could tell she was getting exhausted with my persistence, "Everything is fine... Believe me. I'll show you, " And she tried picking up the jug again, and just like the last time, she failed.
"Sarah, it might be something serious... We should get that checked,"
Sarah.
Something serious? Maybe?
And I think I may have a pretty good idea what the problem is... And it has everything to do with
CASEY!
I had to remove the cast before coming here. The last thing I needed was to worry Connie and her parents. And I'm a lousy liar. They'd want a thorough explanation of how I got hurt... And I can't afford to tell them the truth.
"I assure you I'm fine. Don't worry about it,"
She shot me a look, one that told me that she didn't believe a single word of what I said. She looked like she wanted to say something but then decided against it. Thank God... Lying to her isn't easy.
"I'll simply___"
I wanted to pass her the jug... Prove to her that I was okay... But she got up before I could.
"Don't worry, I've got it. I wouldn't want to put anymore strain on your hand,"
"I can handle it___"
"I know you can... But so can I. Just relax," she took the jug and poured herself a glass. She took a sip, smiled to herself and went back to sitting beside me.
I didn't like it one bit that I had to have breakfast here. I was supposed to leave earlier, before everyone got up, but my mum insisted that I stay, or else, and I quote, I'll 'receive a dreadful punishment when we get home'
I'm not one to take my mother's warnings and threats lightly... She always keeps her word. I knew she wasn't joking.
Ever since I was little, she's been forcing me to be friends with Connie and Casey, get close to them. She seemed obsessed with the idea... She still is. It's annoying!
"So, what have you been up to this summer? Anything fun?" she sipped her drink again, then took a bite off her cake.
"Nah... Just work,"
"You work? Where?"
"You probably don't know the place,"
"Well that's why we have Google right?"
"It's um____"
"Can I call you back?" a hoarse voice called from behind, and I instantly tensed... I hope Connie didn't notice.
Oh well, I guess this is where my breakfast ends!
I had better leave before things get out of hand.