Seriously though... it only got stranger from there.
Rather, it had been strange for quite a while now.
Alexander's dreams had long been this way.
Courtesy of his Mind Mansion... everything that plays out in his consciousness is quite vivid and lucid.
It boosted his imagination and thought process by quite a lot. A whole lot. To the point that he can hypervisualize.
Somewhat handy in Alexander's opinion.
Although it does act up from time to time.
A Chaos-laced birthday nightmare and that tornado-timed mental turbulence... to name two.
This Malena-inspired dreamscape included.
Not so much a dreamscape when considering that stuff will probably just play out like it should have in the movie.
From Renato's voyeurism and obsession... to Malena's tragedy of beauty.
Alexander as Renato was going to be stuck in the cinematographic play-by-play of it.
Which he expects to be a frustrating experience.
How much of an embarrassment can this kid be?
Just spying, leering, and the occasional meddling...
Which was why... Alexander upended it...
As the new Renato... in a hyper-vivid dream of his own devising... he played by his own rules. At least, he tried to.
Alexander, stuck in Renato, just had to do his best to nudge things... in favorable directions.
Like how he grew the girl-watchers fraternity by taking it over... and making it into a "biker gang".
It's just teens on their bicycles but still. It kind of worked.
By manipulating and masterfully leveraging his "biker gang"... Alexander... erm... "Renato" had a sizeable organization and was able to do a lot of stuff.
Business through organized chores. Providing services in these warring times when most men are deployed for service.
Even going as far as planning to manufacture bikes themselves.
As for ensuring the loyalty of hormonal teens. Simply direct them to the local prostitution hub by making use of their business upkeep.
Taking a page from Renato's dad to resolve his son's obsessions.
I give you the boys... give me back men.
A rather twisted gang in the making... with a twisted appeal to the teens of small-town Castelcuto.
As for "Renato"... he didn't have to resort to excising himself with a Malena-looking prostitute when he could have Malena for himself.
He simply had to move out from peeking holes...
Take a bold step whilst Malena was going to be raped... or slandered...
Gain her appreciation from there...
And protect her with the "biker gang" along with knowledge of the film's turn of events...
Through this... Malena didn't have to be cycled through lustful officials... and "Renato" didn't have to be NTR'd quite badly...
This wasn't the Irréversible... but still...
The grateful lady just had to show his appreciation... with an appropriate exchange. A rather cliche pornhwa MILF situation... but hey...
It's a dream... but even in dreams... Chaos theory and the butterfly effect were in play.
With the turn of events being vastly different from how it should have been.
By the end, "Renato" would transform from a small-town manipulator into a bigshot mafioso. With Malena popping up babies from their frowned upon escapades... the Amoroso family is developed.
Turning the filmography from a teen lusting for a tragic beauty into a different Godfather-esque franchise.
With Don "Renato" and his bike business controlling quite a portion of crime and industries in Italy.
Well... long story short... it's strange, isn't it?
--------
Even Alexander thought so... and it's even a dream he was actively trying to control...
Did he really have to obsess with Malena that much? Or was that the Renato side taking over?
They say dreams tell you something...
It's an imagery of a wish...
Or an impulse that has since been repressed...
They're unconscious desires tied to real life...
However, all that Alexander can take away from that was... that he had gotten overtly creative or he may have gotten really, really deep on the dark end.
Also, his drive to do business was so strong that even in a fictional situation... he just had to do one.
It's not in any way a hidden desire toward Monica Bellucci at all.
But maybe... just maybe... his dream was really alluding to it...
Chronologically...
Before Milla's attempt at a kiss that spiraled this whole puberty thing... there was the reveal that Miss Consigliere was Monica Bellucci...
Alexander was pretty content with acting appropriately for a couple more years... however, things happened...
Was that the true catalyst that snowballed everything?
Because if it is... Malena's charm sure was not to be underestimated.
Especially when she became his secretary...
All in all, this was quite the hot take if he ever did have one.
--------
Eventually, Alexander decided to not dwell too much on the implications of that.
As of now, he just had to wake up... and wake up was what he did...
To a rather stranger scene that was not anything less than what happened inside his head.
His head, which should have rested on the couch, happened to be resting on a girl's lap.
Said girl happened to be grinning happily at him.
To which, he asked. "What's got you happy, Drew?"
It can't be because of that Samus coincidence, right?
"Nothing much." She said so but she poked his cheek for the fun of it. "My legs are kind of numb though."
"Sorry about that." Alexander wanted to sit up at that reminder but unwittingly yawned from the grogginess of it. "Then again, I may have to extend it for a while."
"Suit yourself..." Drew didn't care much but she pointed at a peculiar appendage of his. "... but what are we going to do about that?"
Of course, Alexander noticed. The bulge, that is.
His time as Renato with Malena got a bit wild. To the point that they fornicated under the cuckolded despair of the war-returning husband. Far wilder even that they did big belly plays as she carried the Amoroso children.
Yeah... the whole dreamscape blitzed through most things in time skips but never in those moments.
Just remembering about it was doing no help to the situation in his pants, so he asked. "Where's Milla, by the way?"
"Little madam duties, she said." Drew pouted sourly but grinned his way nonetheless. "Hehe! Want me to tag in for her? As your little mistress, it's the least I can do."
"I sure hope those names of yours don't catch on." Alexander just sighed. Madam and Mistress. How absurd is that? "Besides, I was actually changing the topic so it will settle down."
"Whatever you say." Drew didn't believe him and even poked on his cheek some more. "You're a handsome and cold-faced prince charming but I can now tell when you're lying, you know."
"Whatever you say, too." Was his retort as he chose to just sink into her lap pillow to soothe himself and his little member.
-----
Eventually, it did.
Sequentially, the door to his office opened up, and in came the much younger and much realer version of his Malena predicament.
Fortunately, the bulge scenario already settled down, so with his ever-calm and mostly unrevealing demeanor, he asked. "What is it, Miss Consigliere?"
Before the lady could answer a pouting Drew just had to butt in though. "So... Miss Consig-layer... that's what you call her, huh?"
"It's Consigliere but yes. Although her real name is Monica Bellucci, if you want something that rolls off the tongue more."
"Layer, gleh-ray, Monica, shmonica, whatever." Drew didn't care. What she cared about was the fact that. "Does she really have to be your secretary?"
"I heard that she's supposed to be a model and also working on legal stuff... why work here?" She then voiced her doubts aloud. "She's even an Italian from Italy but here she is... in America. She's very suspicious if you ask me. Very suspicious."
"She's actually quite fitting for the job in my opinion." Alexander simply reasoned.
"How so?" That got Drew piqued.
"Well, she's done quite well with keeping me informed while I was away in Berkeley for most of October."
"Also, the Starbucks deal and she even had experience with the pizza deal. Making the very fact that she's Italian to be quite the plus... especially in those new lines of businesses that I'm working on."
"Also, her legal background isn't too bad. It's very handy even. For example..." Alexander turned to ask the slighted lady for this. "Miss Consigliere, in the off chance that a company like Nintendo were to claim that they actually had dibs on something like Metroid... what's your insight on it?"
Monica, taking this as a last hurdle of the job application process, answered dutifully. "Well, if that ever does happen, little boss. Your games prior to Metroid should be helpful. Mega Man and Sonic the Hedgehog especially. These two games have quite the trace to them that any other game company will find difficult to dismiss."
Alexander nodded to that and turned to Drew. "See... she's very fitting for the job."
Especially considering the fact that he was probably going to commit a lot of plundering transgressions further down the road.
Legal interest... plus Italian perspective for Starbucks and Pizza Planet. Who would've thought that Monica Bellucci was the right fit?
He's also quite at ease to relieve Miss Marker from these responsibilities for her to focus more on her original task.
An eye candy of a secretary is quite good for his workaholic self as well.
"Whatever." Drew just harrumphed at all those and didn't press on any further.
To which, Alexander shrugged as he turned to the slighted lady once again.
"Don't mind her too much, Miss Consigliere. She's just acting hostile for no reason." It's the Malena curse in his opinion.
"Well... it's okay, little boss." Admittedly, it was a bit uncomfortable but she can take it.
It's just a little girl acting jealous.
Granted, this little girl was actually the famous Drew Barrymore.
Using her lap as a pillow for her direct boss, who is said to have a little madam in the form of an equally famous Milla.
Aside from the absurdly early relationship that could only be found in a foreign country like this... was the little boss actually two-timing?
How did he manage to pull that off?
All the more making this job she took on a whim to be more interesting than she initially thought it was.
"Anyways..." Noting the strange gaze coming from the secretary lady, Alexander pivoted. "What were you here for again?"
"Oh... right." Miss Consigliere then handed in the folder she had in hand. "I finished your November schedule and I've also been told by Mr. Legalities that everything is finally settled."
"About time." It was really about time that Alexander even sat up from his comfortable lap pillow with that. "I do still have to fly in though. Have you made preparations for that?"
The new secretary nodded affirmatively. "Tickets have been reserved and accommodations have been prepared, little boss."
All good news for Alexander's ears.
Aside from being able to settle into his dynamic with this new Malena-esque secretary... another M was going to be in the bag, too.