While my thoughts strayed in this direction, I swallowed my rebukes and instead looked away in embarrassment.
"Uhm, actually… I… I can't really… hear… you." I mumbled.
My voice was so low and soft that not even I could hear it clearly. It was as if I wasn't certain if I really wanted him to know the truth or not.
"Eh? You can't hear what?" Kurosawa-san asked in confusion. It was clear that he heard my whispered mutterings but he didn't understand what I meant.
"Your thoughts… I… cannot hear Kurosawa-san's thoughts. From the very beginning… I couldn't."
I could feel myself blushing and I couldn't understand why this was happening. What was so embarrassing about not being able to hear a person's thoughts? Wasn't that the normal state of things in this world?!
"Really? Is that really so, Masato-sensei?" Kurosawa-san asked rather impetuously.
I summoned my courage and decided to gaze up at him. But I regretted it immediately when I saw the look on his face. I was startled by the way he was grinning from ear to ear and how his eyes were glistening with passion. When he continued to speak, his voice even shook slightly.
"You know what… what this means, right, Masato-sensei? This means that… that I am being honest with you. Now you know that every word I say is… true. Doesn't that make you feel good?"
To be truthful, his words were right.
I have wondered so many times how it would feel if I met someone like him and now that I have, I can honestly say that I feel happy. It is really nice to know that someone doesn't hide dark thoughts inside their heads while portraying an image of happiness; that they don't accept you just for appearance's sake, but that they truly feel that way about you.
"En. It feels good, it feels really good." I replied to him, feeling my lips curving upward in a smile.
I couldn't remember the last time I smiled so openly in front of someone. The feeling was really… refreshing. It seemed to me that Kurosawa-san was, slowly but surely, chipping away at the ice wall that I had placed around my heart.
I decided to try again and trust in his honesty. Just like how I used to do when I was younger, before my heart grew cold and stale.
~~~
One week later I was sitting at my computer, writing in a haste. Earlier that morning I had an outburst of inspiration and I decided to grab hold of it. The hours passed swiftly, and by the time I looked at my watch it was already lunchtime.
As if he was timed, Kurosawa-san arrived at my door just as I was preparing to boil water for instant ramen.
"I knew I couldn't leave you alone for one day." Kurosawa-san rebuked me the moment he entered the kitchen and saw the package on the counter. "Were you planning on eating just that?" he turned to glare at me.
"Well, I was busy this morning and didn't get a chance to go shopping, so I didn't have anything else to eat. At least it's food and so I won't die of starvation." I added bravely withstanding his heated gaze.
The disapproval in his eyes was so intense that I was beginning to feel like a child scolded by his elders.
"You might think that, but eating this kind of food so often might make you die of something else. Here, I bought ingredients, so I'll cook lunch for us."
And thus, Kurosawa-san took hold of my kitchen. Under the combined gazes of Fukuharu and myself, he cooked a sumptuous meal.
An hour later, when the food was placed neatly on the table, I looked astonished at the different dishes, such as miso soup, tonkatsu, teriyaki chicken and yaki udon.
"Kurosawa-san, are you preparing for a cooking competition? Why so many dishes?" I asked, not knowing where to settle my eyes or what to try out first. Even Fukuharu was staring longingly at the delicious food.
"Don't worry, Fukuharu. I didn't forget about you. Here, come and try this." Kurosawa-san called the cat over. He pulled a package of cat food from the grocery bag and poured it into Fukuhara's food bowl. "There, now everyone is happy." He concluded in satisfaction.
"You say that, but how are we going to finish all this? It's too much food for just the two of us."
"It's alright. You can have the leftovers for dinner." Kurosawa-san said with a smile, then continued gesturing towards the instant ramen package that had been thrown into a corner. "Otherwise, who knows what crappy food you'll end up eating again."
"In that case…" I began reluctantly. "Thank you for the food."
To be honest it wasn't the first time Kurosawa-san had cooked at my place, but this was by far the most lavish meal he'd made.
Without realizing, the corners of my lips pulled upward in a smile. The feeling this food gave me was warm and comfortable. It was like being covered with a fluffy blanket and given a hot cup of tea after standing in a freezing place for a long time.
Perhaps Kurosawa-san noticed my strange expression because he suddenly stopped eating and looked at me earnestly. There was a small crease between his eyebrows and his eyes lingered on my face in worry.
"What's wrong?"
"N-no, nothing's wrong. The food is delicious, that's all."
"Ah, I'm happy to know that you like it. In fact, until I met Masato-sensei I had never cooked for anyone else. But I always wanted to try."
Kurosawa-san finished his words, his face beaming with contentment.
Seeing him like this, I felt a small tug inside my chest. It was small, like a tiny flutter of wings, but I decided to ignore it. Whatever that feeling was, it was best not to examine it further at the moment.
Hence, instead of delving into it further, I decided to play it cool.
"Oh, so I was your test subject?" I teased, moving my eyes from Kurosawa-san's attractive face to the food in front of me.
He tried to bicker with me further, but I mostly ignored him and focused on eating.