"Talk to me, Jade. How are you feeling about everything?"
"I mean, what's to feel? I knew this day would come. It just came alot faster than I'd hoped it would." I stated honestly.
He nodded and I could tell that he was deep into his thoughts. I reached for his face to rub his chin, but he jumped as soon as my hand came in contact with his face.
I looked up at him, shocked.
He has never done that before. He always lets me touch him.
He noticed my reaction and shook his head.
"My bad, Jade. I'm lost in thought and...I'm sorry." He stated but the way he said sorry let me know he wasn't just talking about what just happened.
I sighed and kept walking towards the orphanage.
When we made it to the door, he put his hand on my shoulder and made me look at him.
"Tomorrow doesn't change anything. You are still my favorite girl." He said. "I will be checking on you. I want you to know that I care about you. I won't let anything bad happen to you on my watch."
He stared in my eyes and just when I thought he was going to kiss me...he walked away, and he didn't turn back around.
I watched him walk away until he was no longer in my view and I fought the tears from escaping from my eyes. I wanted to run and hide so bad, but I knew the warriors would find me probably skin me alive.
I took a deep breath and decided to stop feeling sorry for myself. I knew this day would come,
I just needed to stop feeling sorry for myself.
I ran upstairs and into my room. I crashed on my bed and before I knew it, I was out. I guess the day had more of an effect on me than I cared to believe.
A few hours later...
"Jade, sweetheart, please wake up." I felt a slight nudge to my shoulder as I heard a soft voice pleading with me to wake up.
I opened my eyes and saw Madam Tess towering over me beside the bed.
"It's time for dinner, my sweet girl. Everyone is waiting for you downstairs. We all want to spend ...one last night with you before you leave." She said in a somewhat quiet voice. At least she'd miss me when I'm gone shook my head, no. For some reason, I knew I couldn't face the only family I'd known for so long and try to act like I was ok. I wasn't but I didn't want them to know that.
"I'm not really hungry tonight. I feel like my stomach is about to explode as we speak." I told her.
She nodded and gave me the exact same sympathetic glance that Miss Hamilton gave me earlier.
"I get that. I won't pressure you to do anything tonight." She said as she sat on the empty spot beside me on the bed. "But I did want to talk to you alone, anyway. I wanted to make sure you understood what is going to happen."
I fought the urge to roll my eyes. I knew she didn't mean any harm by what she was saying but I really didn't want to hear this right now. However, I didn't want to be
rude to her, she's been like a mom to me my entire life, so I just nodded my head to let her know that it was ok to continue.
"Jade, tomorrow you will be escorted out of here and they will take you to the breeders farm." I sat up and looked down at my hands.
"Yeah, I've heard." I said softly.
"The doctor will come and examine you to make sure that you are still a virgin. Then, they will...penetrate you to get rid of the initial impact. Apparently, none of
the upper ranked men want to roughhouse a virgin." She stated as if she were disgusted by her words.
"I'm going to be honest with you, Jade...it is going to hurt, and they will not be gentle. You are theirs for the taking whenever they want it. They claim that the
breeders are there to help build our pack for those who struggle with fertility, but I believe something different. I believe that..." She stopped herself from saying more.
But I wanted her to go on.
"Tell me, please. Tell me the truth." I begged her.
She looked at me as if she is battling herself internally.
"I believe that the breeders are just their whores. You are to satisfy them whenever they want you to...they don't give a damn about a family. If they did...they'd come and get these newborns out of this orphanage." She ranted but I knew she was probably right.
The only thing I couldn't wrap my mind around is why the Luna would pick me to be one of these women.
Madam Tess took my hand and guided me to my knees
"I know that you feel like the moon goddess is against you, but I would like nothing more than to pray to her with you. Will you please give me this one last thing?"
As much as I wanted to decline, the look in her eyes made me nod my head anyway.
She smiled and closed her eyes as she held my hands.
"Oh, moon goddess, please watch over my sweet girl. I know this is a test for her and I humbly ask that you grant her the strength that she needs to get through each
day. Help her be a damn good breeder... and then free her."
She ended the prayer and kissed me on my cheek. She left out of the room without saying another word, but somehow, I knew it was probably the last time I'd see her
again finally allowed my self to cry and I know that I could have flooded the house with my tears. Before long, I was knocked out and unprepared for what was going to happen next.