Hi, I'm Frank Smith. I live in brooklyn, in fact I lived in brooklyn.
I died hit by a truck. If I were to be transported to a new isekai-style world now, I would die of disgust again.
Fortunately, these things do not exist. Apparently when you die you go to a very dark place where there is not a soul.
Suddenly a flame lights up in front of me.
"Okay, thanks for waiting for soul [666AW58G3H1]." He says a voice.
I may have spoken too soon.
"Hello." I say nervously.
"Who's the idiot who turned off the lights?" The voice says.
Nothingness is illuminated by many small stars. One of them looks almost identical to our sun.
"I'm about to reincarnate, right?" I ask.
"Here I read that you killed 36 people, burned a church for a bet, burned a house and ... had sex with 15 nuns." He says.
Oh, he'll probably just send me to hell. Shit, this is worse than reincarnation.
"You also saved 150 people by killing their future killers. You helped a homeless man by hiring him as a scrubber. Oh, you saved the church from being used for the summoning of satan to earth. Wow, you saved the world from armageddon." He says enthusiastically.
I saved the world from Armageddon by burning a church for a bet. Ironic, maybe I don't deserve to go to hell. Maybe I'll go to heaven, maybe some kind of purgatory.
"Here I read what your fate will be." He says.
Please, not reincarnation in another world. Please, not reincarnation in another world. Please, not reincarnation in another world. Anything but fucking reincarnation in another world. Did I already say "Pleace, not reincarnation in another world"?
"You have the opportunity to make 5 wishes, after which you will be teleported to a world of your choice." He says.
Oh shit! I preferred purgatory.
"I see you are not happy with the situation. I understand, but remember that your good deeds weren't enough to redeem you. Murder is a mortal sin, it doesn't matter if you kill a killer. You have not repented of those sins, so you should go. to hell. Satan does not want you in his kingdom due to the fact that you have stopped his likely rise to power. This you see is the best deal you can get. " He says.
"Can you at least teleport me to a normal universe?" I ask.
"You know since you humans invented movies and TV series, God has chosen your works as inspiration. Most are manga, a minority are movies and TV series. The most normal manga that is left free is inspired by [Boku no Pico]. " He says.
Just saying that name to awaken a trauma. "See you Boku no Pico" everyone said and I'm the idiot who listened to them. I still have the vomit from what I saw.
"Please don't send me there." I say pleading.
"Don't worry, we're not that sadistic." He says.
"Your best alternative is [3TMORT489nGdrY]. It's not exactly a normal world, but it's better than the alternatives." He says.
Well, at least I won't be in a world full of psychopathic monsters, gods, and angels. I assume there are worse worlds.
"Okay, I choose that. Now let's move on to my wishes." I say
I think about my desires. I disintegrated my brain by dint of pressing my brains.
"Wish number 1: I want immortality. Wish number 2: I want to be born into a wealthy family. Wish number 3: I want a system. Wish number 4: I want to be immensely lucky. Wish number 5: I want my family to love me." I say. "Wish number 1 is perfectly achievable. Same clsa for 2. The third surprised me a little, but it's still okay. He says. "I know, not all families are like mine was. However I didn't want to risk being abused by my family. If you're wondering why I chose to have a system, it's because I'm always OP." I say "Have a good trip." He says.
"Thank you. Forgive me, I don't know your name." I say.
"Gabriel, my name is Gabriel." He says.
"Thanks, Gabriel." I say.
(Gabriel Pov)
I reincarnate the human who stopped Armageddon, after which I go on pause. I teleport to Michael who, as always, is in human form and is sipping a coffee.
"Hi brother, you can't imagine who I met." I say with joy.
"Who did you meet? Please tell me that he is not destined for hell." He says with pity.
"Do you remember what happened 10 years ago? When Satan screamed so loud he was heard in heaven?" I say
"It's hard to forget, our father was laughing so hard that if he had been human, he would have died." Michael says laughing.
"I met the human of that day. I had him reincarnated in one of our father's worlds." I say.
"Oh please don't tell me about other worlds. I just finished updating [3TMORT489nGdrY]. Our dad said he was boring, so I had to update him with some supernatural stuff." Uriel says as he comes to meet us.
"Oh, shit! I wish I knew sooner." I say.
"Because?" Uriel asks.
"Because that's where I sent what prevented Armageddon." I say.
"Did he want to live in a normal world?" Michael asks.
"Well ... then his new life won't be pleasant." Uriel says
(Pov. Frank)
"What did you say?" I ask.
[I know I'm sorry. I didn't know they had updated that dimension.]
Not that part, the other part.
[You are the brother of Sabrina Spellman]
The one from the netflix series?
[Yes, that]
So Lucifer is my dad, great! I'm screwed!
[No, you are Edward's son. Your twin sister is Lucifer's daughter]
Chain Speelman
Status: alive (immortal)
Race: human / witch
Age: 1 week
Notable features: immortality. Magical energy.
So I'm weaker than her, but I'll still have an equal number of troubles. I preferred to be Lucifer's son.
[Don't worry, there are still years before your sister can get to do the [Dark Baptism].]
Yes, but you forget that after she unlocks them, there will be a tsunami of supernatural shit.
[You have a very powerful system, you should be able to protect yourself, her and your family.]
Can I become as powerful as Lucifer?
[Wait, let me do some math ... mh ... carry over by 2 ... multiply by 12. You won't be able to do it until Season 3.]
Is there any way I could do it?
[Just a few that would get you in even more trouble. You could try to make a deal with the God there, but I don't know how cooperative it will be. Also there are some crossover characters.]
Oh, so other problems for me.
At least tell me I'll be safe until then.
[Yes, no, I don't know. Uriel says and I'm quoting "made me send the difficulty level of that world to Nightmare level". That doesn't seem to be a good thing]
I take comfort in the fact that I cannot die.
(Time skip)
Well, being a kid is shit. The cramps were terrible. Learning to walk? Even worse than childbirth. While learning to walk, I fell so many times that I lost count.
Anyway, here I am learning magic secretly. I asked my dad to teach me, but he said I wasn't ready yet.
Well, fuck it. First of all, I am immortal. Second, I have to be ready.
Blackwood and Lucifer won't kill themselves. While I need the [Longinus Spear] to kill Lucifer, that doesn't include Blackwood. In theory I can kill him even now, but to do so I would need great magical powers.
I can't be sure he's evil, but I'd rather not risk it. Same thing goes for Lucifer.
Notice: you have learned [pyrokinesis]
[Fire magic] (adept)
Description: create and control fire.
Notice: you have learned [Fireball]
[Fireball] (adept)
Incantment: Ball of fire, ball of flame, gather for me bright and plain.
Description: create a ball of fire in your hands.
[Ignition] (adept)
Incantment: burn, carry, burn.
Description: ignites objects intended to produce fire.
[Extinguishing the deadly fire]
Incantrment: Flame of mortals, you will have me neither now nor ever. Obey my command and turn off again.
Description: put out the fire of natural origin.
Notice: You have obtained [severely sleepy] status
Fuck, the magic is simple. What's Difficult? Even a kid like me could learn how to use this stuff. Thinking that I have to do it secretly just because my parents are asleep.
I don't want to compare myself to powerful people like my dad or how Sabrina will become, but I'm good enough at that already.
I keep reading the book, but I don't try any spells so as not to risk getting in trouble.
There are a lot of spells and I've read them all.
Notice: You have learned [Summon Will-o'-the-Wisp]
[Summons will-o'-the-wisp] (adept)
Incantament: the fire does not burn, but lights the way.
Description: summons a will-o'-the-wisp that directs you towards a goal. The target can only be a place you wish to reach. So using this spell is useless for looking for objects and people.
I've never seen a will-o'-the-wisp. I'll try it later. I read the rest of the book, but there are no spells. There are just boring stories about how fire magic was used in ancient times.
"The fire does not burn, but lights the way." I say using [Summon will-o'-the-wisp] and targeting our kitchen.
A light blue flame appears, similar to a candle. I approach the flame which is a few steps away from me. As soon as I reach a flame it goes out and another appears. I reach the other flame. Finally I am about to reach the kitchen.
I feel faint and collapse to the ground.