The streets are almost empty, even with it being midday. Wild blowing gently against the trees, the sun gleaming down on the people walking across sidewalks and beaches. Amelia had grown to now hate the view of everyday life. The life she could never have, the life God seemed to deem undeserved by her.
Amelia knew she deserved more than this. More than the torment of the past, more from the ex lovers scorned to kill her for the mistakes they've made. It wasn't her fault that Jake turned out the way he did, or Dallas turned out to be exactly the same.
It was greatly her fault however, screams guilt. If she had never let the walls of herself come crashing down, neither would have been able to do the damage they have done. Her friends would be alive, her world would not be destroyed. Nothing would be the way it was now, everything would be normal.
She was never going to be normal, a curse that she was given since birth. Since her mother's mistakes, even her grandfather's twisted desires. All of it was placed upon her, nothing was ever going to be good to her.
The car brakes to a halt, her mind pulling back to see she had pulled into an empty area where the water met the shore. Not a beach, but a place where those sit by the pier and vanish into it. Where the waves collided into one another, enough to see the distance between them. Buildings beyond the way of the shores, where people lived their everyday lives.
Even the movement of mother nature's creation could not sooth her. The sight alone, brings the water from her own eyes to the surface. Watching something so simple as the rushing of waves could bring all of the tears to the brim.
When had everything gone so wrong?
How long had she not realized that the red flags were standing high above her head, not able to notice that danger was heavily approaching. Once thinking she was confident, stern, built to perfection to never be hurt again. Now sat in front of the emptiness of the ocean, unable to keep the tears from escaping her eyes.
Life was a sick joke, how hard she had worked to make sure she would never be hurt again. Not a moment of it was worth it, because it never worked. Amelia was doomed to be hurt again and again, sanity pulled piece by piece. Unable to have a normal life, unable to be married or have the children deep down she desperately would have wished for.
A family that could never be, tossed into the flames that he burned so violently.
Amelia was doomed to be alone with nothing but guilty, sorrow, and blood on her hands. That's all she was meant for in this world, the story that was meant to be told in her image.
The lonely agent, cursed by the trail of blood behind her.
She was just a little girl still, deep down inside. All she wanted was to be free of the shackles, to finally be able to bring herself to freedom of her own sins. That naïve, stubborn yet reckless teenager that had no true idea of where her life was going to head.
It was as if the world was hoping for her downfall. To die young, to never get a chance to live out life to the fullest of its beauty. Never to get the chance to grow old, and die peacefully beside the ones she loved.
The world was one sick, and cruel bastard.
With a heavy heart, her hands grip onto the steering wheel. Tightening against the leather, tears falling down her cheeks mixed with dark shades of mascara. Lip quivering, biting down on her tongue not to sob. If she was going to do anything, it did not show she was truly saddened by her life.
She was alive, shouldn't she be grateful enough for that?
No, being alive was not enough in her mind. Just sitting alone, tears falling from her eyes– The world had her feeling as if she was already dead.
Barely surviving, scratching the surface with no true way to climb out of the trenches. Amelia had no idea how to best her enemies, how to keep those she loved safe. A woman who had studied behavior for years, became the best of the best. A mind blank, a heart stabbing in her chest.
All she ever wanted was to truly be free.
Yet all she could do was let free the sobs and wales that threatened to strain against her throat. Crying for the first time not for others, not for the things she had lost– But for the person she used to be.
For the pretty little woman, who would be plagued with nothing but pain and heartache.
To mourn the death of herself, many years after the image had died. With the waves as a comforting guide to no longer rise above the crashing of tides, but to sink into them with ease. Finally to let go of all of the aching in her chest, to mourn for what she had been seasons ago.
A goodbye, to the tender memory of her former self– Before the cap was thrown into the air. The last moment she ever felt true, fleeting happiness.
4:00 P.M (GMT8)
The day had gone by faster than she had hoped for, and with the car being placed in park in her father's driveway she took a deep breath. Engine shutting off, and the car door being pushed open to exit the vehicle. With her coat wrapped around herself, the young woman makes her way up the driveway. Quickly pulling out the spare house key from her bag slung over her chest, opening the front door with ease.
She's met with the sight of her father on the couch in his living room. A cup of tea piping hot in his hands, looking out through the window admiring the scenery. With the closing of the door behind her, she sighs. Putting her bag on the rack, taking her jacket off following suit.
"Hey dad, how was your day?"