"What do you want kid?" Po asks making me freeze as I put a plate in the dishwasher. I straighten up quickly and glance across at him, he was wiping the counters while dad packed away some stuff that was left out after dinner.
"What do you mean?" I ask with a small frown, but he just raises an eyebrow in opposition.
"After dinner, you and all the other shitbags usually run off to do what shitbags do." He states with a smug voice that makes both his mate and I roll our eyes.
"They're are not shitbags." Dad says for what must've been the millionth time today alone.
"They take all our food, hold it inside like a bag then shit it out. They're shitbags." Po retorts quickly and I can't help but chuckle at his flawed logic. He smiles at me before continuing. "Anyway, my point is, you're here helping out so what do you want?"
It made no sense lying, he knew I wanted something and they were the only people who could give it to me.
I had to know about Jayson. Who Jayson was and why I was so close to him, why I needed him so desperately. I'd been looking for answers on my own since that time with J in the woods, and going solo wasn't cutting it anymore. It was hard enough to access pack information with the limited clearance I had, trying to access The Supernatural Board was a whole new level. So I decided to approach the two people who could.
"I need to talk to you guys about something?" I say after a moment. There faces change from a playful to a serious in a heartbeat. "It's not bad, I promise. I just … I have some questions."
"Okay." Dad says tossing the rag on his shoulder onto the counter before sending me an encouraging smile. "Do you want to talk here or go to the office?"
"The office." I say appreciatively. The office was soundproof and I didn't want my fellow shitbags listening in on this conversation.
"You're not pregnant are you?" Po asks teasingly and just to f*ck with him, I speed up my heart rate and quickly widen my eyes as I look at him with a trembling hand.
"H-How did you know?" I stutter out, feigning to be scared shitless as I look at him. Fear quickly floods his eyes along with panic as his heart accelerates at an unmatchable pace.
"You're pregnant?" He questions with a now fragile and dry tone. It was like all the air was knocked out of him as he was gasping for what was left.
"Of course not." I reply dropping the act. His stature drops as the colour returns to his features. He clutches onto the countertop desperately, dramatically gasping for air while mentally cursing me through our link. Julian offers me a high five which I quickly meet, laughing we make our way to his office.
"Not funny kid." Aiden huffs as he follows behind us.
"I mean, it was a little funny." I say with a smirk.
It doesn't take us long to reach dad's office and before I know it, I'm closing the door behind me. I take a seat in the armchair opposite the couch where they were already seated, wrapped up in one another's warmth.
I'd always envied the bond they shared as mates, but now that I had a mate of my own, I envied that they were together now. That they were so happy and open with one another, while barely anyone knew of my own mate who I hadn't seen in almost a week.
"So what did you want to talk about kid?" Aiden asks, snapping me out of my little daze.
"Right umm." I drag, trying to find the best words to approach this topic with. "Recently, I've been getting these.. … flashbacks, at least I think they are. It started a couple days ago, it was only one at first but now they just keep coming and they don't feel like dreams. They feel like memories, like I've lived them before."
"What are they about?" Julian asks curiously but his voice remains calm and comforting.
"T-The first one was about the f-factory." I say uneasily, my eyes meeting Aiden's as he tenses immediately at the mention of the place we both suffered in. "It wasn't a new memory, I mean, I've always known what happened. B-But this time, I remembered everything. Everything that was in the room, everything you said to him, even what I was thinking when it all happened."
The room falls silent for a moment. Their confusion showing on their frustrated faces, I know they wish they could make me forget all about that place. I know Aiden wishes he got to me sooner, but there was nothing to be done now. I've never let myself dwell on the other possibilities, what life could've been like if everything went to plan. Because if it was one thing life taught me, it was that nothing ever went to plan.
"The next was of my pack." I say quietly. This makes them both freeze as they large eyes meet mine.
It was no secret that I didn't like to talk about my life before I was adopted and they'd respected that fact all my life. But times like this I really wished that I had shared more, over the years, I'd forgotten the little stuff.
I didn't realise it at first, but soon they began adding up and I couldn't remember much of anything before I met Aiden and Julian.
I knew I had a mother and a father, both who loved me and I loved them. I knew I had an amazing pack, we were small but it was enough for us. And I knew that I was happy.
But over time, the image of my mother's face had deteriorated and so did my father's. They all had, until now.
"I see all their faces." I continue, my voice softer than I wanted it to be. "Every pack member or friend, every single one of them. It's like I'm reliving every moment I ever lived as a kid all over again and it just keeps coming. It's all coming back."
"All of it?" Aiden asks solemnly and I nod with a heavy heart.
He was asking about the night I lost it all. The night we were attacked by rogues, the night I lost everyone I ever loved or cared about.
"I-I can still see my mom. … … … T-There was s-so much blood." I stutter out, tears forming in my eyes but I quickly wipe them away. I clear my throat before looking at them again. "But that's not what I wanted to talk about." I say firmly, forcing myself to keep looking at them. To not break down, to just relax. But it was easier said than done, especially with the looks of pity that formed their features.
"Then what did you want to talk about?" Dad says offering me an out I gratefully accept.
"You guys found me at five." I say and they both nod tensely. "I never asked before, because I didn't want to think about it but now I can't even stop if I wanted to. But, was there anything that came with me? When you found me or anything left from my pack? Anything at all?"
"When I found you, there was nothing but the notebook." Aiden says referring to the book of numbers we both had, a record of the pain we endured. "I looked, even after that night, but there was nothing else."
"And The Supernatural Board said there was nothing left from your pack." Dad fills in sadly. "Everything was lost in the fire."
I stare at the carpet with a pulsing heart and raging mind. I knew there was nothing left. If there had been, Dad would've given it to me years ago, whether I wanted it or not.
But I still had to ask.
"Are you looking for something?" Julian asks cutting his way through my vicious thoughts.
"Or someone?" Aiden prompts and my eyes meet his.
"After I lost my pack, I was alone before Reon found me." I say and they nod at the information they already knew.
"You think you weren't alone?" Julian asks wearily.
"I know I wasn't." I correct. "I only get glimpses and a name, but I was definitely not alone."
"Jayson."
My eyes flash up to dad's in surprise.
"How did you know?" I question blankly as my eyes study his every move. He glances across at Aiden who gives him a small nod before looking back to me with a weakened expression.
"When you first came home with us, you weren't very social as you know." He starts with a soft chuckle. "You didn't talk much to us and not at all to other people. But when you had a nightmare, there was always one person you always cry for when I would hold you."
"Jayson?" I question and he nods with a weak smile.
"We figured it may have been your father's name or maybe a relative you were close to." Aiden continues before releasing a sigh. "So we looked into it a little. We asked for your pack records and found only one Jayson."
"Who was he?" I question on the edge of my seat, curiosity overwhelming me as I stared at the two who held the answers I so desperately wanted.
"They didn't have an age but, they assumed he was a teenager. He was the son of one of the pack's warriors."
"That's it?" I ask in disbelief.
"That's all there was on him." He says helplessly as I deflate before him. "But, there was something off about it all."
"What do you mean?"
"Well it said he was a warrior's son, but your pack was too small to have warriors." He explains and I frown at the revelation. "Your pack files also had the age of every pack member, even a couple pictures. Something every pack must do to be registered, but he wasn't in any picture and he's the only one without an age."
"That doesn't make any sense." I reply quickly.
"That's what we thought. So we dug a little further." Julian says taking over. "After the fire, the only reason anyone knew you were missing was because your body was the only one not identified amongst the rest. The files said everyone else was accounted for."
"But Jayson wasn't, he was with me." I protest quickly and they nod.
"We think someone is trying to cover him up or something about him at least, this must be the best way to do it." Dad explains as he looks to me. "We wanted to ask you about him, but you never wanted to talk about your home before this one and as you got older, you let everything go, so, so did we."
I nod my head aimlessly as I take it all in. I wasn't alone out there, I knew that. I knew that somehow we were separated. Somehow I ended up on a table and Jayson, well, I don't know what happened to Jayson.
I'd forced myself to cross out the possibility that J was Jayson, Jayson could talk and walk and everything else that J couldn't. J was lost and only just finding himself, it couldn't be him.
"You think he's still out there?" Dad asks breaking the silence that they let sit for a couple of minutes.
"I don't know." I say honestly. "I just.. … I just wanted to fill in the spaces."
"I'm sorry we couldn't help more."
"You guys have helped plenty." I say quickly, offering them a weak smile. "There's nothing more any of us could do."
"Feli, I know you may not like to talk about it or maybe you don't want to mix your two lives. But we won't treat you any different if we know about your past. We'll love you just the same." Dad promises, his blue eyes holding mine with an honest promise. "You can talk to us."
"Thanks." I say honestly, loving what amazing parents I was lucky enough to have. "For everything."
I stand and dive into their awaiting arms, soaking in the love and warmth they drowned me in as they held me between them.
"We love you Feli, always have, always will." Aiden promises.
"I love you guys too."