'My eyes are open right now, and I am seeing things. As a corpse, that is definitely not what is supposed to be happening right now. I'm also standing upright. Yet another very uncorpselike thing to do. I'm holding my dagger, useful for making a corpse, not so useful for being one.' 6 thought as he examined the wall in front of him, putting away his dagger. The sheath was conveniently at his hip, and his combat suit was free of stains.
"If I didn't know better, I'd say I'm alive right now. Fortunately, I do know better, considering I saw the tip of this dagger emerging from between my eyes. I have two options. I'm either in the afterlife, which would be very disappointing, or I'm a sentient zombie." 6 said, turning his body to observe the rest of the room. It was hexagonal, and mostly devoid of decorations save a few bookcases.
There were no windows, but there was a single door, which featured a very short child standing in front of it.
"Wouldn't that just be a vampire?" the child said.
"Excuse me, did you just imply vampires are just zombies with sentience?"
The kid rolled his eyes at 6's words.
"No, this is not the afterlife, yes you died. Sucks to be you. Don't get your hopes up, revival is a one-time thing."
"Are you assuming I'll go around trying to die again?"
"Hey, you're the one who died. Literally just now. Forgive me, o great one, if that doesn't inspire confidence."
"Et Tu, Brutus. Soooo… why am I being talked down to by a child instead of being dead?" 6 said as he continued looking around the room, glancing at the bookcases to see what kind of books were there. He hoped to find anything that would give him clues about where he was.
"Fuck you, zombie man."
An audible chuckle escaped 6's lips, stopping once he heard the faint sound of an object being thrown at him. He could've dodged, but he gave no indication that he could tell it was coming. The book slammed into his shoulder, harder than a child should've been able to throw a book of that size, before falling to the ground with a thud.
"Hey, shouldn't you be nicer to a formerly dead man? I could be having a panic attack right now, you know." 6 said with a fake pout on his face. He reached down and grabbed the book, a large leather-bound one titled "New Faces on Your Domus Planet And How To Greet Them".
This looked like something the kid should've read, but given that the kid had begun already walking out of the building, 6 wasn't expecting him to be the one to let him know exactly where he was and why he was here.
"Read it yourself. I have no patience for jokes all day long." a voice said from outside of the room
"Sheesh, someone must've woken up on the wrong side of the crib today." 6 muttered under his breath.
Another book struck him in the head, this time without him realizing a book was coming. He fell to the ground as the book flew away from his head and into a way, letting out a more shrill scream than he thought he could make.
The sound of his scream echoed in the room, forcing him to listen to it several times. It was a unique way to taunt, especially for a room.
"Asshole!" The kid screamed, before storming away at a much faster pace.
'I deserved that one, I suppose.' 6 thought to himself as he crawled to his feet and approached the book to find out what was thrown at him this time. "How To Shut Up For Dummies".
'That might hurt worse than the actual pain.' 6 thought.
Disregarding how desperately others would say he needed that book, he tossed it to the side to begin reading the original book. Most of the book was about taking care of a person's feelings, making sure they're okay, not offending them, yadda yadda. Basically, everything the kid didn't do.
The important bits talked about where he was, and what the guide was allowed to tell the new person on their first arrival to the planet. This meant 6 wasn't on earth, and that people could leave and return to this planet with enough commonality that it wasn't deemed major to do so. This planet was referred to as a Domus planet, one named Trivrium.
Connecting to other planets was the key trait of a Domus planet, and it was what made them so important. Each Domus planet had its own territory and ways of managing those territories, which included extending them. The book reminded the reader several times that sharing this fact directly could be harmful to the psychological health of the new arrivee. 6 truly believed he was given the worst possible guide.
Resting was the only thing newbies were supposed to do until the Domus planet itself decided they were fit to be given tasks.
Every member of a Domus planet was to contribute to the health and growth of their Domus planet. This wasn't a form of slavery, but of mutual benefits.
Although every Domus planet was a direct competitor with each other, there were strict rules against forcing their members to stay or controlling them.
In fact, the Domus planets weren't the ones bringing in new arrivals. Members of a Domus planet made their way to the planet by themselves.
The methods varied, but commonly people arrived by teleportation, space travel, a spiritual calling, or summoning.
Teleportation and space travel were self-explanatory, but spiritual calling was when a person was extremely suited to a particular base planet that their soul would actively seek it out, establishing a connection to link the two. Only the person could initiate this connection, and it was extremely rare.
Summoning, on the other hand, was never done by the Domus planet, but rather by individuals sending or calling others to it.
Considering 6 didn't get here in a rocket and couldn't teleport, the only remaining options were spiritual calling and summoning. A spiritual calling required him to make the connection first, which he didn't know how to do, so that left summoning as the most probable method. Maybe 6 was so charming that the shadow who killed billions heartlessly on his homeworld decided to bring him here.
Being that these were only the common methods, he couldn't cross anything out just yet, but he determined that finding this out would be the most important task right now.
All these words, summoning, spiritual calling, teleportation, new planets, and new terms, were the first things to make 6 feel properly excited for years. An end to boredom would be much better than death. This was way too good to be true, he thought, so he didn't let these feelings of excitement lower his wariness or skepticism. Having read the entire book, he stood up to exit the room.
Walking through the doorway was a hallway, with several different doors in it. At the end of the hallway was the alien equivalent of the entrance to an office building, which meant it was exactly like an office building's entrance but was also on an alien planet. There was literally a receptionist, who he walked toward with what must've been a clearly confused face.
"Hi there love, is everything well?" the sweet voice of the receptionist said. It was odd, as they were very much not human, and very much looked like the humanoid equivalent of a platypus.
"I uh. Yeah, I think my guide is supposed to take me to see you but I think he got lost. 0 stars for service from him. Do you guys do reviews?" 6 said, not forgetting to flash a smile.
"Oh deary, what happened? I can certainly write a report if needed, but I do need to hear everything."
"Well to be frank, not much did happen. His words, in their infinite wisdom, were as short as he was."
"Short you say? About yay high? Looks young, has hair?" the platypus person said, holding up a hand at the general height of the kid.
"That's the one. Spunky kid."
"I see. Well, we could write a report for you, but as the fellow already has reports by the hundreds, I don't think it'll do much good. Why don't we save ourselves the time and I'll just add an extra 20 velvs to your allowance this month?"
"That sounds fantastic! You sure know how to soothe an old man's heart, so entertain me a bit longer. What exactly are you fucking talking about!" 6 said with an excited tone to his voice.
"It's just money dear, the Great Trivrium translates any form of currency into the same word for your convenience, just one of the infinite ways our Goddess serves us. She'll convert all the amounts for you as well, praise." the platypus person said with a fanatic look in her eye. "I prayed to our Goddess, and she has agreed to add to your allowance. Thank her quickly."
"Right. Uh. Thanks, Trivrium. Praise." now 6 greatly wished the kid was here instead
6 then had to verbally agree to accept the Trivrium as his home. As uncomfortable as it made him, in a situation he had no control over, he figured he had nothing to lose. He already died once.
Upon doing so, a screen appeared in front of his eyes. He flinched, preparing to strike, before realizing it was just a screen. It looked like a hologram. His eyes widened looking at it, his blood pumping even stronger than before. This was the first bit of proof of something more than what was possible on Earth. Given how it followed his head as he moved in any direction, and confirming that the platypus person, who he was starting to believe wasn't just wearing a costume, couldn't see it, he believed there was no projector causing it. That meant this was some type of automatic screen exclusive for him, which made him want to punch the sky in excitement.
He was already dreaming of all the cool things he would get to explore soon. The platypus person told him to wait outside, saying someone would come to take him to his residence soon. He absentmindedly followed what they said, not even realizing they were speaking as he was too caught up in his fantasies.
Focusing his eyes again, 6 snapped back to the real world once he stepped outside. His first look at an alien planet was important. He had to take every bit of it in. Buildings of various odd builds and structures dotted the landscape he saw. It was an architect's wet dream. A full minute passed by while he looked at all the buildings before a voice came from beside him.
"For the record, don't make wisecracks about anyone's house. People get sensitive about their culture, and for some of them, their house is their last connection to it." The kid said, sitting on the ground. He was pulling at the grass, not even glancing at 6.
"Gee, you're a really stellar guide. Wouldn't know what to do without you."
"Thanks, make sure to leave a tip then. Follow me, I'll show you where you'll be staying."
6 followed the kid as he hopped onto his feet and began walking down the street. After a few minutes of silence, the kid scoffed.
"Ask whatever questions you have. Get my pay for this job reduced again and you'll see what a bad guide is like."
"Do you know why that guy brought me here?"
"Right. That guy. I know exactly what you mean. That was sarcasm, by the way."
"Okay, that was fair. Can you tell me anything else about Trivrium?"
"Not much to know. She gives jobs. You choose if you wanna take em. It's pretty much a one-sided conversation with her usually." The kid said with a roll of his eyes.
"Oh hey, you two have so much in common. You must get along so well"
"I'd be careful with how you talk about her around some people. That obsessed receptionist isn't even one of the crazy ones, some people really treat her as their religion."
Noted. No provoking crazy religious people. Just like always.
"Why are people so crazy about her? I mean, I think I get it, but is there anything beyond what I've seen that makes them so dedicated?" 6 asked
"Sure, plenty. For most of these people, this is their home, and their home is alive. That alone makes it special for them, and when you add it all that it gives them and all it allows them to do, it'd be hard not to respect it at the very least. For desperate people, respect very easily turns into worship."
This came as no surprise. Religion was always based on some type of power dynamic. Hopefully this one would prove a bit more ethical than the ones he was used to.
"Thank you for the warning. I'll be respectful toward her in the future." 6 said as he looked around at the houses they passed while they walked.
"Good," the kid said, nodding. "It's nice to see you can be thankful, but it's a shame you haven't even asked my name."
"Oh, I just didn't care. So, what is it?"
"Don't have one. Fairies stole it. Asshole"
"See, that's exactly why I didn't care. What good did this entire interaction do?"
"It's the principal. Asshole."
"You're as insufferable as I am." 6 said as the kid in front of him stopped moving.
"And you're home. Catch." Nameless said as he tossed a pair of keys to him.