"I don't understand" I shook my head in confusion, "why would my mother do this to me?"
"I told you Julian, Thomas is a very manipulative man.
He got inside your mother's head and made her think what she was doing was going to save you" Lincoln reminded me.
He pressed a soft kiss to the top of my head. "Whether you see it or not, she did it because she loves you. In a very twisted, fucked up, way".
A week had passed since my mother had disappeared, and I vowed never to see her again.
I wanted to forget about her, erase what she did from my memories.
Because no matter how many reasons there were, no matter how many times it was explained to me that she didn't do it out of malice – she had still murdered my child. I would never forgive her for that.
I lay in bed with Lincoln, my head resting on his chest, as his fingers knotted themselves in my hair.
The morning sun was streaming through the windows, giving the bedroom an odd orange tint. "Can I ask you something?" I blurted.
"You can ask me anything, you know that" Lincoln replied; his attention still very much on the way his fingers threaded through my blonde curls.
"After our pup died, why did you hate me?" The question made Lincoln pull his fingers away, and sigh heavily.
"That is such a childish thing to say. Of course I didn't hate you. My feelings for you didn't change, but my feelings for myself changed".
That is such a childish thing to say. Of course I didn't hate you. My feelings for you didn't change, but my feelings for myself changed".
"What does that mean?" I asked, turning so that I was looking into his large, green eyes.
"I know that it was my fault that our pup was killed.
I tried making the perfect life for you, because that's exactly what you deserve.
But I fucked up, and I ruined your innocence. I felt guilty, for being the one who killed your pup, for being the one who took your naivety way and for marrying you in the way I did".
"You regret marrying me?" I squealed, sitting up and allowing the covers to fall away from me.
"Julian, calm down. I don't regret meeting you, or marrying you, or falling for you.
I just wish I hadn't have pushed it so much, maybe then you'd be happier.
I was feeling guilty, after the pup died, because I realised that if I hadn't pressured you for children, then none of this would have happened".
Lincoln ran a hand down his face, groaning softly as he sat up next to me.
"If I was given a choice Lincoln, I wouldn't change our time together.
Every bad bit, every good bit, it brought us to here – so, please don't think like that. We're together because we love each other, don't make it sound like you forced me to love you, because I did that all by myself".
Once Lincoln had gone to work, I went down into his study and got his work phone. I called Valentine, he answered after a few moments. "Alpha Asenda speaking" he chirped.
"Valentine, it's Julian" I replied. I hadn't talked to Valentine since I left his pack, after my miscarriage.
"Julian, how are you? How have you been?" he asked instantly. I told him the truth, and we spoke a little bit about mundane topics, before we got to the real subject.
"
Julian, as much as I love chatting to you – and really do, you know that – I happen to have a job to do.
And I also happen to know that you didn't call to chat about how Evan is getting on at med school" he laughed. I could imagine his sly, amused, smirk on his beautifully sculptured face.
"If Lincoln challenges Thomas, and it goes ugly, will you stand with us?" I questioned.
I was nervous, that Lincoln would try and battle Thomas; and I didn't want to lose him or anyone in the Pack.
"You're both family, of course I will stand by you. I hope it doesn't come to that, but if it does, you can count on me".
I could hear the soft frown in his words; like me he didn't want Lincoln to battle. But like me, he knew that Lincoln did whatever Lincoln wanted.
"Thank you, Valentine, send my best to Evan". We said our goodbyes, before I hung up.
It was nice to speak to Valentine – I felt like he understood me, he was right. We were family, and I missed him.
Although, I was much happier to be home with Lincoln; where I belonged.
Another month went by smoothly; Lincoln and I falling into our old routines, I even began to redo the attic again – like I had started before the first murder.
It seemed so long ago, since that human had died, but it had only been a handful of months. But that was when the entire nightmare had started, all the way back then.
It also came to light that that one of Lincoln's stronger Pack Wolves, a man named Josef, had been the one passing information to Thomas.
He was the traitor who helped Thomas kill those human girls.
Josef was Andrea's brother, and had been angry with the way his twin had been treated by Lincoln.
Both Lincoln, Antony and I strongly suspected Andrea was also involved – but we didn't have the evidence to execute her like her twin brother. Yet.
Lincoln and I knew the threats that faced us, but we were living in a joyful ignorance, living as if nothing was wrong.
I had gotten into the habit of speaking to Valentine on Wednesday mornings – mundane things, nothing heavy. I was also beginning to come to turns with the miscarriage. My child had died, and I needed to deal with that.
It was only as the month was coming to an end, that the vengeful Alpha made connect with us.
It was early morning Wednesday, and I headed downstairs in my pyjamas and robe. I heard the phone ringing from Lincoln's study.
Assuming it was Valentine, I headed in and answered the phone. "Hello?" I chirped.
"Ah, Little Miss Julian I presume" a deep, husky, male voice chuckled through the receiver. I froze in slight shock.
"Who is this?" I demanded, my voice shaking slightly. I slipped my hand into my pocket, and pulled my phone out as I spoke. I dialled Lincoln's number.
"You mean you don't know who I am?" the voice laughed, just as Lincoln picked up. I put both phones on speaker.
"But I left you a lovely present" the man continued, "all those bodies just for you, and of course I sent your mother to you with my regards. Shame, didn't she pass the message on?"
"Alpha Roberts" I replied through gritted teeth, and I heard Lincoln growl on the other end of his phone.
"Please, call me Thomas. Julian, honestly, aren't we familiar enough by now to call each other by our first names?"
"You killed my pup" I snapped; I was trying to sound brave, even though my entire body was shaking with fear.
"Technically, your own mother killed your pup. I simply suggested the idea".
"What do you want Thomas?" I questioned, genuinely interested. He had been playing the cat and mouse game with us for months, but neither Lincoln – nor I – actually knew what he wanted, what his end game was.
"I want Lincoln to suffer like I did" Thomas shouted.
For the first time I heard the angry, bitter, man that Lincoln had described to me.
"He killed my mate, my Lorraine, and now I want him to suffer like I did when she died".
"He's already suffered, you killed his pup. And–"
"It's not enough" he screamed angrily. "I want a meet. You, me and Lincoln. Tomorrow evening, Chables Territory. And we'll sort this out, once and for all. Seven o'clock don't be late". And with that, he hung up.
When Lincoln got home, he was fuming. His face a darkening red, as his clenched jaw tightened, and his entire body looked like it had been injected with tension.
He was furious, at first I was worried it was at me, but I knew that I was being ridiculous.
"Why did you answer the phone in my office to begin with?" Lincoln demanded, frowning down at me.
He was doing the thing I hated; trying to get me to answer by showing his status. It wasn't a conscious thing by Lincoln, he did it out of pure habit. But, it had always bugged me.
I stepped away, and walked around so that I was on the other side of the kitchen counter. I began to make us both a cup of coffee, to justify the move away.
"I answered the phone, because I thought it was Valentine. You know we call each other on Wednesdays" I replied, as I got the milk out.
I knew how Lincoln worked; if I pretended to be busy, and continued to do mundane things, he didn't get as angry.
If I were to sit down quietly, and shrink against his intimidation, then he would focus entirely on the bad parts of the situation.
However, if I was doing something he would focus slightly on that, and it would distract him.
He was like a child in that way. I was making coffee, for the sole purpose of calming him. And it work well.
Lincoln sighed heavily, taking a seat at the kitchen island. "I didn't mean to accuse you of anything.
You know what I get like" he muttered, frowning deeply as he thought hard. I walked around to his side, and placed a cup of steaming coffee in front of him.
Leaning into his space, I traced the frown lines on his forehead. The touch made him come out of his thoughts, and look at me.
"You shouldn't frown so much, it'll make your wrinkles worse when you get older" I told him.
Lincoln let out a soft noise; that slightly resembled a sigh and a laugh.
"Well some of us are closer to thirty than twenty" he replied.
"You're twenty five, Lincoln, don't be writing your will just yet" I smiled. I was standing up beside him, so I took the seat next to him – moving it first, so that I was closer to Lincoln.
He offered me a soft smile, before placing his hand on my thigh.
"I've already written my will" Lincoln shrugged, and I raised an eyebrow in shock. "You get everything, you and any pups we have. You're my wife, you'll just be getting what is rightfully yours".
This is depressing" I frowned, taking a sip of my own coffee, as Lincoln picked his up and cupped it in his large hand, as his other hand continued to caress my upper leg.
"I don't want to imagine living without you. Please, let us talk about something else".
"We can't. Tomorrow night we'll be meeting Thomas, and no doubt he'll try and kill me. So, this exactly what we should be taking about" he replied, giving my thigh a soft squeeze.
"We're actually going?" I squealed in shock.
He gave my thigh another squeeze, before nodding stiffly.
"Yes. I refuse to let someone who wants to hurt you, to be alive.
Anyone that even so much thinks of hurting you, I am going to kill.
So we'll go, and then Antony will bring you back, while I make sure than Thomas is dead".