Yun walked in, because the system was communicating with him.
[Don't you think it's time to be in your own body now?]
Well, Yun didn't expect too much, that he would speak softly or begin with a greeting. But his dive straight into the subject made him pause for a while. Even the system seemed to have guessed that it was okay to talk to him that way.
"I'm already…in my own body" The cat's iris slowly slid from her face to her flat chest.
[Are you serious ?]
Why didn't he notice any difference? As it was 4 years ago, with that male body, it was now!
Yun:...
Without answering, he sat down on the sofa, slumping, then closed his eyes with his arm. He had a tiredness that he couldn't get over. Maybe his soul was tired. Maybe it was just his own delusion.
Maybe he was depressed.
He couldn't understand what was going on, whereas right now the way he was before he got the 'victory' seemed better than now when he was struggling to stay alive? He slowly opened his eyes and stared blankly at the ceiling. He was thinking, breathing slowly, with a faint smell of tobacco on him. He felt as if he had lost his reason for life. Maybe it was a nuisance of aimlessness and meaninglessness.
Yun had a disposition that broke down when he was idle, but on the contrary, rejuvenated the more he worked. He felt so empty right now that he was pondering what dreams he had when he was a normal person, feeling that he needed to set a purpose.
What about now? What were his dreams?
That was the worst! He didn't know. Some people get excited about movies, but no, he was more interested in reading books than movies. And the books he read... In 5000 years, there was nothing that he did not know that was useful to him. Of course, knowledge wouldn't work if it was just wasted like a 'book-laden donkey'. And Yun knew very well how to use them in his real life by learning internally about whatever interests him.
But this feeling...
This lack of emotion...
And it's like feeling lost in space. You've lost your way and are pretty desperate.
It wouldn't stop there.
What should he have done? The problem was the bursa! He knew, or rather he noticed. Constantly setting and completing tasks like a robot, focusing only on the result and dealing with a task. This situation was different. Man was a creature with both a logical and emotional brain, and the tragicomic part of the job was more developed and dominant in the emotional part. At this point, Yun just stared blankly.
What was the part that went wrong? He was genuinely questioning. Emotions and feelings... He didn't even need to think emotionally. It would be best if he could balance logic with emotion. Did he really feel nothing?
Or did he actually have feelings and got used to ignoring and suppressing them? So what did he have feelings for?
He massaged his forehead, his brows furrowed. He also knew that feelings could not make sense of logic. But he was confused about what to do otherwise. He thought that these things wouldn't happen all at once and shouldn't be fast.
He dreamed a bit as he closed his eyes again. What future would excite him? Things he's never tried...another life...
But what kind of life would that be? If his mother was with him, he could easily consult. Then her eyes lit up slightly, obviously remembering the comfort of sitting and drinking tea with Elena. This peace and quiet was something he enjoyed. He used to love it.
Well...
He also had the things he loved. These were just looking to be rediscovered. After thinking about it a little more, he realized that he had adopted a rather quiet lifestyle. The stress of not leaving that much talked about 'comfort zone'. Maybe...
Was this really the case?
If he had turned to things he had never tried, maybe he would have seen something he was extremely passionate about but didn't realize? Sure, it's nice to think about, but it's even nicer to start somewhere. This time it was all about experimenting, exploring.
So the only thing that would make sense here would be to list those events that he never tried to try. And then simulating the future...no no! Without thinking, comfortably, without worrying...
Adopting a carefree lifestyle.
-To be continued-