Nanren "..."
"hahaha..." was a weak laugh. Something had really happened to him.
It was as if the body on him was soft and boneless. He wanted a hug and so he did.
Without thinking.
His arms were wrapped around her waist, he buried her head in his neck and closed her eyes.
In the meantime, if someone broke in, he had no words to explain the situation.
But he still couldn't let go for a while.
"This is the end," said Nanren. This was the first and last. He would accept it and ignore it.
There was no room for these feelings, not for this world, not for this family, not for this person, not for himself!
With her eyes closed, he trembled as he inhaled her scent one last time.
Then he slowly got up, laying her body on the bed, covered herself and left.
He was unhesitating.
***
17 June.
Cards were given.
High school was over for him now.
Looking at his diploma, he had a note that there was nothing to see. Each course grade was entered as 100, is there anything worth looking at?
Yun slowly lifted his diploma and looked at the person who was standing away from him.
He had been avoiding him for almost a week.
It was like he was talking to the manager right now. He had heard the words "It's possible..." from the manager as he slowly approached.
What was possible?
"Thank you." Nanren had faced her as he turned to leave. He averted his eyes at first, then walked past her and left.
Yun:...
"Nanren" he called back.
He stiffened and turned around in two or three seconds. "Y-yeah?"
His movements left Yun speechless.
"Did I do something while I was drunk?" He quickly approached her with a few steps.
"N-No, no"
Nanren also took a step back.
Yun's sharp gaze made him nervous.
"I have important business" Yun stared calmly at the back of Nanren, who was fleeing. On the other hand, he wondered if he had really done something.
***
"Haaah" Nanren took a deep breath. His face was slightly red from running.
It couldn't go on like this.
Yun would understand eventually.
And in such a situation, he would never be able to look at her face.
For almost a week, since then, he has tried to explain to himself how absurd this situation is, for various reasons and by reasoning.
Zero didn't work.
It was not a matter of logic, nor was it something in his hands. All the excuses and reasons he offered were forgotten, unable to think when he went to him.
He could suppress his emotions a bit and force him to control them. He could ignore them and ignore them.
But it would always be there, not seeing it, ignoring it, didn't mean it wasn't there, it couldn't be destroyed.
He seriously considered going to a psychologist, maybe he could help.
But he was a minor, a parent was needed, and in that case Elena or her family would definitely find out.
Leaning against the wall, he collapsed to the ground.
It was as if he was trapped in a dead end street.
He buried his head in his knees, looking for other ways. He wanted to cry and rebel.
Or run away...
To escape!
No no Yun would find him right away.
So he should stay as far away as possible. It didn't happen when I was at home, running away all the time. He should go elsewhere.
He asked the principal, could he skip a grade by taking the exam? It was enough already. So this year Yun and he would also take the university exam and...
He should go to another university. In fact, it was best to settle in his home.
But after? Would he run for the rest of his life?
He had already tried to put an end to these sensations. He even wrote to the Internet and read almost every solution. No! No!
Some said it was a disease, some were congenital.
Others were defending and talking about being normal.
But it wasn't normal for him and his environment.
Never!
Somewhere it was written that scientifically, love lasts between 18 months and 4 years, and then the brain becomes immune to this dopamine and ends it.
In another place it takes 2.5 years.
It might not be destroyed right away, but it would surely come to an end.
But why so long?!
He sighed. During this time, he would have to wait for it to pass. It was as if he had been sick and was waiting for the disease to end.
In another source, she said a maximum of two years. He even believed it optimistically. So…she was hoping…no she was literally begging God, if only for a few days…no, it would end now.
But it would end eventually, wouldn't this abnormal situation? So she had to wait for that time to come.
But what if by then these feelings arise? That's when it would be the worst. This shouldn't have happened. For something to end later, he couldn't bear the boredom and rumors of it for the rest of his life.
Even the thought was enough to destroy him.
He couldn't stand it.
Anyway...
It was unstable.
Why ? Why did something like this happen to him? She was afraid ...
It was the first time she felt so weak. He was desperately looking for a solution, and the social pressure that would arise upon the emergence of this would ruin him, which was already about to collapse.
Even Aunt Elena, who was smiling at him now, maybe she would lose her softness from now on.
Should have kept it...
But he was so incompetent at it!
She should have learned then. At least not to project your thoughts on your face like an idiot.
There was a way.
Since Yun could read body language, he should also be able to learn to hide. He was going to learn acting, like an actor.
Otherwise it would have sunk.
So that everything can be as normal again as before.
He should be able to act. Just like... a two-faced...
-To be continued-