Waking up, Lian Zhinan feels nothing but emptiness. The white ceiling greeted his sight and the warm atmosphere stand by. His eyelashes flutter and the calmness beneath those pupils are inexplicable.
He doesn't remember what happened, he only knew that after hearing the death of his brother, the void swallowed his vision.
"Xiao Lian!" The familiar voice called him.
Lian Zhinan did not move nor flinched. He just let the man hold him, supported him in the bed and staring at him worriedly. Lian Zhinan calmly shifted his eyes, behind the man is the window, where the chirping of the birds were heard and the blue sky.
Chu Yan gulped and held his hand. The dark circles in his eyes were visible, and he even looked haggard. Grasping the hand of the young man, he tried to smile, "Xiao Lian what do you feel? Do you want me to call the doctor?"
No one knew how or when did Chu Yan appear. Lian Zhinan remembers that both the Yan brothers does not want him to approached Chu Yan. Before, Lian Zhinan would absolutely feel immense joy upon seeing him, however, he only felt nothing now.
Lian Zhinan sat on the bed with a serene appearance. No anger, no fury, his expression wasn't lively, completely executed the nothingness of a doll.
Chu Yan find it difficult to see him like this, he swallowed his nonexistent saliva and tried to express his concern: "Xiao Lian, after you get well, we're going outside the country to find doctors to cure you. Do you want that?"
Unexpectedly, Lian Zhinan was willing to look at him: "Chu Yan, I am not sick."
Chu Yan's face turned ugly. The coldness exude by the young man and the unfamiliarity exhibit made his breath staggered. Nonetheless, he was not angry and calmly compromised: "Yes, Xiao Lian is not sick. Didn't you want to go to school? Okay, I will allow it."
Lian Zhinan stared at him boringly. Chu Yan in the past would not bargain like this. He once asked the other party to allow himself to attend the school since he grew fond of it, yet he only received the perpetrator's cunning objection and 'Why go to school when you can learn this at home?'
Lian Zhinan before was afraid of letting Chu Yan dissatisfied and endured the outcome.
Now, he just felt ironic.
Giving him cold eyes, Lian Zhinan responded: "I don't like school."
The warm sunlight shone. The features of the person in front is beautiful, but the tiredness and paleness were shown at this point, akin to the red blossoms that lingers in the tree, fighting the urge to fell off.
Chu Yan lowered his face and felt uncomfortable in his heart. Thus, the rejection does not make him discouraged, covering himself a thick skin: "Xiao Lian, what do you want? Brother Chu would give anything that you want."
Lian Zhinan find Chu Yan a little funny. Even if this gold master could give him anything, what he wants is already gone. There is no need to ask for anything. He pulled his hands away and buried himself in the quilt.
Chu Yan's face distorted. The silent treatment is much painful, he even wanted the young man to get angry and blame him. Breathing heavily, he didn't disturb the young man and left unannounced.
Lian Zhinan stayed in the hospital for healing, although he isn't sick or does have any illness, he was asked to recuperate in the building due to his depression and trauma. During these days, Chu Yan would occasionally visit him, with flowers, foods that he likes and news about his father's company. In the end, what he received is Lian Zhinan's silence.
But at this moment Chu Yan wasn't the one who visited him but Yan Shen. With flowers in his hands, Yan Shen took the seat beside him and placed the flower in the table: "Zhinan, how are you?"
Lian Zhinan looked at him. His eyes were still empty and devoid of any emotions. The unfathomable air surrounded him, separating him from other people. He pursed his lips and did not give any response.
Yan Shen smiled dryly. His appearance is always neat and fresh, the kind of always presentable and approachable. He leaned his body closer to the sitting young man and uttered: "Zhinan, aren't you bored in this place? Why don't we watch a movie? For example, my movie?"
Yan Shen just finished shooting his movie a month ago, and it had already aired in the cinema. The movie earned countless praises and high rating, so he was confidence that he won't embarrass himself. Actually, he was just talking nonsense and does not expectation of the approval of the youth. He only wanted to lightened up the mood.
In his surprise, Lian Zhinan slowly nodded.
His eyes widened in shock and his fingers tremblingly reached his phone on his pocket. The corner of his lips was raised while typing the title of his movie and reaching out to the young man.
Lian Zhinan remained unmoved and his eyes were focused on the screen in front. Yan Shen was holding the phone, and hence, he pushed his body closer to the youth and put his arms into his waist. His ears reddened, and Yan Shen feels something on his abdomen.
The faint scent of lavender invaded his nose, the smell is vague and light, but Yan Shen was strike by an unknown force. With their posture, he was almost embracing the youth. In his field of vision, he could see the long eyelashes of Lian Zhinan as well as his cherry lips. He gulped and shifted his thoughts away.
His movie was a rom-com set in a school life. This is the first movie where Yan Shen is the male lead and although, he was confident, he was quite nervous upon seeing the young man's silence.
Did he act poorly? Impossible! The citizens praised his performance in this movie!
Finishing the movie, Lian Zhinan was still quiet. Yan Shen nervously chuckled: "What do you think? Am I quite handsome?"
Lian Zhinan calmly look away and pulled the blanket in the bed.
Yan Shen: "…."
"Zhinan, what do you think about my acting? Isn't it good? Say something!"
Yan Shen was unusually frustrated even more. He pitifully called his name several times, and Lian Zhinan finally gave his feedback.
"Good." Lian Zhinan said blankly, Yan Shen was about to argue, but he added again, "The female lead's acting isn't good. Like a robot."
Yan Shen went silent. Actually, he doesn't expect Lian Zhinan to say something generous or criticize and yet, he was shocked by the young man's comments. In fact, the female lead in the movie is indeed bad. Her reputation and fame is great since she was an idol, but if it was about acting, she was stiff and robotic. The comedic tone of the movie and Yan Shen's performance made up the lack of presence of the female lead.
But how did Lian Zhinan finds out?
If it was just a regular onlooker, they wouldn't notice the flaws and stiffness of his partner. Only veteran and expert could point out.
Yan Shen chuckled: "Zhinan, I didn't know you have a good insight." Thinking about something, he added, "You should actually start acting, you will instantly create a riot in the entertainment world."
Lian Zhinan look away and frowned. Soon, the exhaustion was visible on his face. Yan Shen talks consistent while Lian Zhinan remained the listener. It was dark when Yan Shen decided to depart. But before departing, he reminded him again.
"Zhinan, you have a good foundation. If you enter the showbiz world, with your face alone, you definitely reach far."
Lian Zhinan ignored him and drifted in his sleep.
Chu Yan returned late in the evening. At this time, Lian Zhinan was already awake and dozing off. Hearing the door opening, a small ripples formed in his eyes, but immediately solidified. He watched silently as Chu Yan made his way into his bed.
His collar is messy and his face was red. He was slightly drunk. Chu Yan stared at the figure in the bed and kneel. Hugging the young man's waist, he asked softly, "Did Yan Shen went here?"
Lian Zhinan maintained the silence between them and did not bother to answer. He grasped the arms on his waist, wanted to shake it away, only to tightened.
Chu Yan pitiful voice came again, "Xiao Lian, don't ignore me. I can't stand this." His eyes reddened, and he buried his face into his stomach, "I know I was wrong. I shouldn't hide the death of Lian Chen, I shouldn't lock you up, manipulated you. I can't help it, I like you, no I love you. Please, don't ignore me."
Lian Zhinan remained his quietness. His face was frosty and chilly, the night vision flickered lightly and the almost invisible tear mole was highlighted at this moment.
Upon sensing that it was no used treating Chu Yan this way, he calmly stated: "Chu Yan, let go."
"No, I won't. You're going to ignore me, I won't let you do that."
Lian Zhinan's anger manifest, he cruelly said: "Chu Yan, this isn't love. How can you love someone when you only did to them is to hurt them? Love isn't like this, not selfish and not toxic."
Chu Yan lifted his face in his stomach. The man who's eleven years older than him seems to likely like a child. He doesn't understand his words, and he wouldn't try to understand his words.
Lian Zhinan was mentally drained, tired from the endless torture. He gathered his strength and pushed Chu Yan away. Caught off guard, Chu Yan's body fell down, and his eyes couldn't believe what has happened.
Lian Zhinan looked at him coldly, "Chu Yan, I know I owe you something. I will pay it back to you in the future. But now, I would rather not see you. Standing beside you made me sick and nauseous. I don't even believed you're a human being. The money you spend on me during those times, I will pay for it." He spatted flames and flames, burning the inside of Chu Yan, never letting him take a deep breath. Lian Zhinan added more, "In respect of my relationship with you as your canary, please don't show up in front of me again. I will move out from the hospital tomorrow, I hope I won't see you."
Chu Yan laughed dryly. He wasn't able to digest those words and only felt a thousand of knives cutting through his heart. The young man is indeed cruel. Chu Yan is no saint, and he believes that he deserved this. But isn't this too cruel?
He even tried to bring back Lian Industry from scratch, find those individuals who betrayed Lian Chen, punish them and started his plan to dragged Yan Li's company. He wanted Lian Zhinan to live like his life from the past.
What's the point now?
Clouded by his thoughts, his laughter became even louder. If Lian Zhinan don't forgive him, it's okay. But what he can't tolerate is Lian Zhinan's abandoning.
Slowly, he walked towards Lian Zhinan.