Why am I so sad? Why am I so troubled? I will put my hope in God, and once again, I will praise Him, my savior, and my God.
Pslams 42:11
After class, Zora is casually talking to her friend. Suddenly, she spots Anton; her blood begins to race, and her heart begins to flutter over the sight of him. He casually takes a drink in front of the water fountain. As she watches her ex-boyfriend for a distance, she wishes she could turn the hands of time, when they were still together.
'Baby, come back to me,' she thinks to herself, 'I know you love me as much as I love you.'
"Hey, Z.Z., is that your boyfriend," the friend ask?
"…EX-boyfriend. We are no longer together."
"Too bad. Anton is a cutie."
Zora cannot believe her ears, and she is becoming a little jealous. She feels she has to burst this bubble quickly.
"…I hate to break it to you, sweetie, but he is getting married to another girl," Zora says.
"Wow! He didn't waste any time. Although it's too bad."
"What? Do you want him?"
"No, but I would have thought the two of you would get married."
Zora is a little flattered by the comment.
"Really? Why would say that" Zora asks?
"I don't know. I guess…whenever I saw you and Anton together, the two of you looked like you were made for each other."
"Yeah…we did have strong chemistry."
"Are the two of you still friends, at least?"
"…yeah…of course…that will never change," Zora lies.
'Friends. I never thought I would dislike that word,' Zora thinks to himself.
Zora almost becomes misty-eyed because she and Anton are no longer together. Worst of all, she was carrying his child. Zora desperately wants to tell him about their baby, but the "what if" scares her. She is so conflicted.
"Anyway, I have to run. I'll see you later. Take care of yourself, ok," says the friend.
"Ok. Bye."
When her friend walks away, Zora turns her attention to her ex-boyfriend, Anton Braganza. He is talking to a nun across the hall. She stares at the young man for a time, reminiscing the times they shared. Anton happens to catch Zora, watching him from a distance. She abruptly turns away from him and starts to walk in the opposite direction.
'I hope he did not catch me staring at him,' Zora thinks to herself, hastily walking down the hall.
Then, she hears someone call her name; Zora recognizes the voice. She stops abruptly and turns to see it was Anton. She becomes so excited, her heart begins to pick up speed.
"Hi, Zora."
"…Hi, Tony."
"How are you?"
"I'm ok…."
There is a dead silence between them.
"…I saw you staring at me."
"Was I?"
"Yeah…I think. Do you…need something from me? Do you want to tell me something?"
This is Zora's moment of truth.
"I wasn't looking at you," She lies, "I must have been staring into space, and you happened to be in my space."
"Oh…ok, well, I want to let you know again that I am genuinely sorry for the break-up. Please try to understand that this was something that had to be done. I hope we can still be friends."
These words are breaking her heart all over again.
Hiding her pain, Zora says,"…sure, Tony. We will always be friends."
There is another awkward pause.
"I…had to go," Zora says, breaking the awkward silence, "I'll…see you later."
"Yeah, sure. Bye."
Anton watches Zora walk away with sadness in his heart, but it is nothing compared to the sorrow Zora felt in her heart. The sadness accompanies regret. The regret of not telling Anton that they will be bound together for the rest of their lives.
'I am so stupid,' she thinks to herself, 'I should have told him about the baby.'
Zora stops and turns around to see if Anton is there. He is gone.
"Damn," Zora says to herself.
Then, she continues her path.
Weeks later, after her husband's burial, Sabine continues to support her family with her catering career. She has to cater to a Birthday Party at the "Funky Foxy Lounge." She is now a single mother working twice as hard to provide for her triplets. Sabine feels she did not have time to mourn her late husband. Therefore, she throws herself into her work. She walks back and forth to her car, unloading the trays and platters to set up the spread for the buffet. While working, a young man walks up to her.
"Excuse me, miss."
Sabine turns around and asks, "Can I help you?"
"Are you part of the catering crew?"
"I am the catering crew."
"Oh. That's cool. Did you prepare all of this yourself?"
"Yes, I did."
"…smells good."
"Thanks."
Sabine does not pay the gentleman that much attention; she continues working on the spread for the party. However, he does not take offense to it. The young man continues to converse with Sabine, while she sets up the table. As she makes her way back to her car to get more of the food, he follows Sabine.
"Oh! Let me help you with that."
"No. No. I'm perfectly fine. Thank you."
The gentleman watches her walk into the establishment with more platters.
"Yes, you are perfectly fine," he says to himself.
Sabine continues to ignore the gentleman, who is intrigued by her. He stands to the side of the table, watching her layout her spread of delectable goodies. She is so concise and detailed the layout of the food as if it is for royalty. From the corner of her eye, Sabine can see this mysterious gentleman watching her every mood.
"Ok, man," she turns to the young man, with frustration, "What do you want from me?"
"Nothing."
She goes back to working on the table.
Without missing a beat, she says, "Apparently. You have been following me like a puppy for the past twenty minutes."
"I'm impressed by your work and dedication to this shin-dig…which I am throwing."
She turns around and looks at him.
"Oh, wow…I'm so sorry…I didn't know. Excuse my rudeness."
"No need to apologize. I know what it's like to get wrapped up in your work."
"These days, it's the only thing the keeps me from staying in bed all day. Plus, I'm the only parent my children have after losing their father."
"My condolences."
"It's been a while, but thanks, anyway."
She walks back into the car to get the last of the items.
"Now, I am more intrigued."
"More intrigued?"
"Not only you're beautiful and a good cook, but you're also strong. Not to mention you're dedicated to your family and your career."
Sabine is flatter by the compliment. However, she keeps focusing on putting the finishing touches on the table.
"If I didn't know any better, I think you were flirting with me, Mr.…"
"Francis. Mr. Chauncey Francis."
They shake hands.
"Sabine," she introduces.
"Excuse my rudeness, Ms. Sabine."
"You're excused, Mr. Francis."
"I did not know my father was here," he says sarcastically.
"…oh! Funny."
They both laugh.
"Well, it was nice meeting you…Chauncey."
"Please, call me Chance."
"Ok…Chance, it was nice meeting you."
"You're leaving? So soon?"
"Yes. I'm the caterer, remember?"
"I know, but I like you."
Sabine blushes again.
"Please," he says.
"Don't beg."
"Ok. Ms. Sabine, I would be honored if you would accompany me to my birthday party."
"I…I'm sorry, but I have to decline. I don't have a gift."
"There's one gift."
"What's that?"
"Your number."
"I don't know. I just met you, and I have responsibilities and…"
"Come on…give "Chance" a chance."
"…ok…"
"I promise I won't be a pest."
Sabine laughs. He asks one of the bartenders if he had a pen. Luckily, he does.
"I don't have any paper," Sabine says.
"It's ok."
He takes one of the napkins from the bar.
"Here you go. It's not paper, but it's the next best thing," Chauncey says.
Sabine shakes her head and writes down her number.
"Here it is. Happy Birthday."
"Thank you. Ms. Sabine."
"It's Sabine. You can drop the "Ms."
"Sorry. It's a force of habit. I was born and raised in the south, so excuse that my "Southern Hospitality" is embedded in my DNA…Sabine."
Just when he is about to leave, Chauncey tells her one last thing.
"Oh. By the way…," he says to Sabine.
"Yes," Sabine replies.
"It's not my birthday."
"Hello," answers Fabiola.
"Oh, my goodness! Look who decides to answer her phone," Zora says.
"Ha. Ha. Very funny. Hold on for a minute. I have Isaac on the other line."
"Ok."
Zora waits for a few minutes, then Fabiola comes back on the line with her.
"Sorry about that," Fabiola apologize.
"It's ok. I hope I was not interrupting anything important."
"No. Same old' "lovey-dovey" stuff."
They both laugh.
"So, how is life treating you these days," Fabiola ask?
"Not so good," Zora says with disappointment.
"¿Que pasa? Is it the baby?"
"It's part of it. I saw…I spoke to Tony at school the other day."
"Wow. That must have been pretty awkward."
"Very. Tony apologized for the break-up."
"Ok…"
"Tony also says that I should try to understand that the break-up was something he had to do."
"What does that supposed to mean?"
"I don't know, but it hurt my heart. Tony still wants us to be friends."
"This could mean one of two things. Either Tony was told to break up with you, or he realized that…"
"…Realized what? Tell me."
"Well…people sometimes fall out of love. Maybe…maybe he felt that way but do not take my word for it. I could be wrong."
"No, perhaps you are right," Zora concluded sadly, "That's the reason he is marrying another woman."
"Z.Z., I know this sounds a bit cliché, but…there is plenty of fish in the sea. Plus, you are beautiful."
"I am pretty now, but soon, I am going to be as big as a house."
"Well…you will be a big, beautiful house."
They both laugh again.
"Speaking of getting big, did you tell Tony that he's going to be a dad?"
There is no response.
"Zora? Are you there?"
"…yeah, I'm here."
"So? Did you tell him?"
"…no."
"Why not?"
"I guess I was scared."
"Nena, even though he is your ex-boyfriend, Anton is the father of that baby. He has to know the truth."
"…or someone else can tell him on my behalf."
"Like who?"
"How about you?"
"M.E.?????"
"Yeah, you!"
"Are you buggin'?"
"Please do this for me."
"Zora, you know I love you like you are one of my sisters, pero nena…I am NOT doing your dirty work for you. No one can."
"Fab, it won't sound right coming from me."
"Zora, you slept with Anton, not me."
"Fab, try to understand. I am in a terrible situation. Not only am I unmarried and pregnant, but the father of my child is marrying someone else. I cannot drop this bomb without taking into consideration the results?"
"Who knows? You and Anton will probably get back together, and most of all, you do not have to leave Holy Chalice."
That is the upside, but Zora sees a downside.
"…What if Tony does not want me back? What if he wants to be married to this other chick?"
"…at least he will know that he is a father and that you told him."
Zora is feeling very conflicted.
"Sweetheart, it seems you really need to weigh the "pros" and "cons" of this situation, but don't wait too long."
"I will tell him the truth, eventually."
"Ok. Well, I have to get ready for my early class tomorrow."
"Alright."
"Remember, Zora…tell him!"
"I will. I will."
"Ok. Good night."
"Good. Night."
After the friends part on the phone, Zora ponders on the conversation she had with Fabiola. She thought back to the break-up via phone.
'What a coward,' Zora thinks to herself, 'he didn't have the decency to tell me to my face.'
She then remembers the tears she shed and the heartbreak she felt that night. Even though Jabari is there to comfort her, the pain still lingers. To make matters worse, Zora is told she is pregnant. She feels that not only she disappointed her mother but also her father.
"Daddy, I am so sorry," Zora says, rubbing her stomach, with tears in her eyes, "I know you had high expectations for me, but I let you down being unmarried and pregnant. Please don't hate me, daddy. I need you."
Zora's inner circle knows about her pregnancy and the paternity of her unborn child. Now they are urging her to Anton that he is the father of the child. Zora knows she had valid points. However, how can Fabiola empathize with Zora? Zora feels that Fabiola cannot see the situation from her perspective: Anton broke her heart to marry another woman. Now, she is pregnant with his baby. After drawing this conclusion, it makes her angry all over again. Therefore, she makes the decision NOT to tell him.
'Oh no Anton Braganza,' Zora ponders, 'you will never know the kind of hell you are putting me through now…but you will know soon. You will never know about this child. He or she will be all mine.'
Another week of work and school has finally concluded. Valentine Newkirk picks up her children, Yvonne-Leigh and Archer, from school. When they finally reach home, the children rush into the house.
"Alright," Valentine announces, "You know the drill. Change your clothes and start your homework."
"Yes, mommy," they say.
"Hey, mommy! What are you going to make for our after-school snack," Archer asks anxiously?
"You know, it's a surprise," Yvonne-Leigh intercepts, "Why do you ask silly questions?"
"My questions are not silly. Mine your business, Vonnie. You're not the boss of me."
"That's enough," their mother interjects, "Now, go do as I say, and I'll let you know that your snack is ready."
"Yes, mommy," the children say.
Yvonne-Leigh and Archer go into their rooms, while Valentine prepares their afterschool snack. While Yvonne-Leigh changes out of her school clothes, she cannot stop thinking about Nevin, whom she called "Uncle Nevin." Yvonne-Leigh remembers the first time Nevin showed to blow a bubble from her bubble gum.
She also remembers times she, Archer, and the triplets went to the "Child's Play" Playground with Nevin. On one occasion, she had trouble playing one of the games at the playground, and she was feeling discouraged. Suddenly, Nevin came to her rescue by winning the game for her with a stuffed white unicorn with rainbow hair.
Then, she reminisces overhearing the conversation her parents had about him. She goes to her toy chest and pulls out her rainbow-haired stuffed unicorn. Yvonne-Leigh holds the toy close to her body, giving it a great big hug.
'He's…dead,' she thinks to herself, 'Is "Uncle Nevin" really dead? No. No, he died, but…he is probably in heaven to get better, and he'll be back. Yeah. Maybe that's what mommy and daddy mean about "death." "Uncle Nevin" is probably in a special hospital in heaven, and when he gets better, he will come back to Earth. We will all be happy again.'
So, with that thought, Yvonne-Leigh feels a little hopeful about Nevin coming back home. She kisses her unicorn and places it on her bed. She then gathers her makers, crayons, and her book of colorful construction paper. She wants to make something special for her "uncle" for his "homecoming." When she hears a knock at her door, Yvonne-Leigh is startled.
"Yeah," Yvonne-Leigh answers.
"Our snack is ready," her little brother says.
"Alright. I'm coming."
The children sit at the dinner table and have stuffed caramel apple slices and fruit juice. Valentine loves giving Yvonne-Leigh and Archer surprise afterschool snacks. Doing little things, such as this, gives her a little joy, yet something is still troubling her.
After snack time, Yvonne-Leigh and Archer go do their homework. When it is done, they place their homework on the dinner table to be checked by their mother, Valentine. Yvonne-Leigh immediately goes back into her room and starts on her special project. Papers, crayons, and markers, safety scissors, and glue sticks are scattered all over her bedroom floor. She cuts, colors, and glues with tenacity. Yvonne-Leigh is determined to make her surprise gift for Nevin, the best gift he has ever received. Then, in the middle of her masterpiece, she and her brother are called to dinner.
At dinner, Valentine engages in conversation with her children. To Valentine, it is refreshing to hear about her children's day in school. It is better than eating in silence and hearing only the sound of their eating utensils, hitting their dinner plates. However, Valentine is sad because her husband, Christopher, is not there to have dinner with her and their children. She wishes her husband home with his family. She knows that it took a lot of blood, sweat, tears, as well as their life savings to put together their neighborhood bar.
Valentine is proud of their accomplishments, but she feels her husband needs to balance work and his family. She misses her husband.
"Mommy, are you ok," Archer asks his mother.
"It's nothing, baby. Finish your dinner."
"Yes, mommy."
After dinner, Archer sits in the living room and watched television with his mother. Meanwhile, Yvonne-Leigh goes back into her room and continues to work diligently on her present for Nevin. She is hopeful that he will get better and come back to Earth to be with his friends and family. Suddenly, there is a knock on the door.
"Come in," Yvonne-Leigh says.
"Hey, pumpkin," greets Christopher, "How was school?"
"It was good," she replies, cutting a piece of construction paper.
Christopher looks around his daughter's room. He is in awe over the mess of paper, markers, colored pencils, glue sticks, and safety scissors on the floor.
"Why is there so much stuff on the floor? It's a mess," Christopher asks?
"Daddy, I'm working on a special project."
"Is this a school project?"
"No. It's for a special someone."
"A special someone?"
"Yes."
"Who is it?"
Yvonne-Leigh looks at her father and smiles.
"Daddy," she starts, "I can't tell you. It's a surprise."
"Oh. I'm sorry, sweetheart. Carry on with your special project, but do not stay up too late. It's a school night."
"Ok, daddy."
When her father closes the door behind him, Yvonne-Leigh continues with a homemade gift.
'I hope you get better soon, Uncle Nevin,' Yvonne-Leigh thought, 'Everyone misses you, especially me. I can't wait to see you again.'