Pov Khadijah
Hey, the drops that flow from the sky every second...
A longing in a glimpse of longing...
A memory will be in a trickle...
I started talking about something...
Where my heart has been surrounded by my feelings...
You are too beautiful to look at....
You are the most beautiful in my life...
However, unfortunately only a name I know...
Rain thank you, because of you it stops at you....
Because you are the most beautiful...
-Seoul, 02-02-2020-
I lay down on a comfortable bed. I looked up at the ceiling, then I closed my eyes. I saw a smile circled on the face of my dream lover.
He smiled like a love opium, I used to name him Dear Adam, so that I could become an Eve who was always loyal to Adam's love.
In fact I am Khadijah, a woman who always chants her name in every prayer that I hide in my prostration.
I have pawned my heart for Allah alone, so I will allow Allah to choose the best love for me. I just want love that is lawful and side by side with my halal lover in Allah's blessing.
The holy light may lead to a good cause, but I am aware that I am an imperfect woman like Khadijah or Aisyah. Hopefully the name my parents gave me can be a prayer for me so that I always istiqomah in emigrating.
Ridwan? I also don't want to give hope to other men who clearly have never been in my heart, I just want Adam who I always miss as my soul mate.
Am I wrong to love him? or Allah will choose the best lover.
Sometimes my stepfather's message I always remember in this second.
"Honey, do you know which guy you deserve?"
"I'm confused, father, because the man is physically attractive. I like Harlan. He's handsome, cool, popular and rich, and he's the only coolest guy in school. Dijah wants him, but Harlan likes Meira , because she is beautiful and sexy, Khadijah is only wearing a closed dress. Did Khadijah become Meira so she would be popular?"
"O Allah, son. Do you want your body to be enjoyed by men and continue to be in the congregation? Aren't you afraid that Allah hates you? Are you more concerned about being loved by humans or by Allah?"
I was silent for a moment, but I was very stubborn, when I was in high school, I started to take off my hijab, wear tight clothes, short skirts, and cut my hair. Let it cool.
My stepfather just stared at my appearance, he didn't say much while Hasan was getting possessive.
When I was still in high school. I still can't remember from that time. Exactly at one o'clock in the afternoon my lesson hours were over and I immediately packed up to go home from school.
I tried to contact my father but still no answer. Meanwhile, Hasan is having basketball extracurricular activities. While I was reluctant to wait for him.
I could only wait in front of the school gate while calling my father or mother to immediately follow me to school.
I heard the sound of motorcycle horns, then I turned around.
"HARLAN?!" I exclaimed as I looked at the man sitting in the driver's seat of his car.
"Dijah, you just go home with me" Harlan offered in a tone that took so long.
"Dijah!"
"Hasan?"
"I'll just take you instead of you with Harlan," said Hasan with a little possessiveness towards me.
For me opportunity doesn't come a second time to go home with a Don Juan at school.
"Yes, Harlan, I'm with you, I want to live more enjoying high school, rather than watching," I really didn't pay attention to Hasan. Because I really wanted to be close to Harlan, who is a popular student at my school.
Hasan smiled wryly, and I decided to ride a motorbike with Harlan.
Harlan then took me to his house.
"Loh, why is your house so quiet?" Tanya looked at Harlan but I didn't suspect anything and I kept a positive mind.
"Oh, my parents are overseas on business."
"And, but...."
"Come on, this is Istanbul. Free."
"Hey,"
"Harlan!"
Seen a beautiful and sexy woman wearing a bikini. In fact, her cleavage looks sticking out.
"Lan, so the party is tonight right?"
The woman was hanging on Harlan's chest, while I just sat on the sofa.
"Oh, how come this poor boy is wearing clothes like this? Has his brain started to go sane?"
"Yeah, she's prettier than a sack-like outfit."
Then the Harlan gang came, and I just stood there. There is Meira, a popular girl who always hits the spot.
"Dijah, why did you come here?"
"Hey,"
"It's good that you join the party than you have to be like your cute twin Hasan, even though he's handsome, but not really dech."
I just smiled at Meira's statement.
"May, I have red wine, this is a step-by-step production, my father got it when I was in Italy. I swear you have to try it, Mei."
Gani started poisoning Meira with one shot of red wine.
Meira began to smell the delicious aroma, then took a sip.
"Wow, Gan. You are really cool about drinks, this is the best quality red wine I've ever tried, unfortunately I can only drink a glass, can one bottle be mine tonight?"
"I can as long as...." Gani whispered softly into Meira's ear that night, I became a goddess-level curiosity.
"Dijah, you don't want to try?" asked Harlan.
"I don't want to, dad will be angry, it's getting late, I want to go home," I answered.
"Well, it's still eleven o'clock, you're really cute, tomorrow is a day off, you can stay sometime," said Meira.
"Stay here," said Harlan.
"Eh, yes, you stay, Dijah, you'll sleep with me later, don't worry," said Meira.
"Really, May?" I started asking Meira again very innocently at that time, without suspecting one another.
"Ehem, you're my best friend now, never mind your parents must have been young. So why are you worried?"
I started drinking orange juice, suddenly my head was heavy, and I felt like passing out, I saw everything became dim, then dark. Then I lost consciousness.
Ten minutes later, I heard a crash, I still can't wake up, I feel my body is cold.
"Dijah, damn it!"
I felt someone touch my body, and groped my thigh, then stopped.
A deep voice then woke me up, it looked like a battered man had been beaten.
My weak body was successfully carried with someone who was familiar, my twin Hasan.
"Don't go near Khadijah!"
I find it so hard to open my eyes, then I don't know what's going on.
The next morning I found myself on my bed. Then, Hasan was beside me.
"San, what happened?"
"Are you stupid or stupid?!"
"Hah?"
"What if you were harassed by Harlan?! Look at your body covered in red stains!"
I hugged Hasan tightly while crying loudly, sorry for that. I can say that I'm too stupid to be tempted by the world. Hasan immediately hugged me.
"Come on, calm down, Harlan just kissed you, he hasn't broken your virginity yet. Good thing I came, and watched over you, Dijah. Because the twin brother bond is always strong."
"San, I'm afraid to go back to school."
"You don't have to be afraid, I'm here."
Hasan is my faithful twin, even our bond is always strong.
After I remembered my dark days until I decided to wear the hijab Istiqomah because I was too afraid to face those times. I became convinced that my hijab would protect me from the actions of men who have no morals and cannot control their passions.
"Going to istiqomah is indeed difficult, because to achieve the most beautiful love by loving you first, O Allah, because you are the owner of the hearts of your creatures. So I entrust my heart to you, not to others."
I took a deep breath, and I was also happy, because my father could also be reunited, but things weren't as complete as they used to be.
Hasan and I don't want to be selfish, because previously we agreed that my mother had remarried to Haqi's uncle, and the decision had been carefully thought out. In fact God said to reunite me with my father.
"Perhaps, someday there will be a time when the truth will be revealed, may my father accept it."
I closed my eyeballs, then I closed with a prayer. Hope is hope for tomorrow, because we will not know tomorrow is still given the opportunity to see the world, or not.
*